Ding-
"……."
Kaoru woke up even earlier than the time on the alarm clock he had set.
The reason was a text message that arrived right on the dot at 6:50 a.m.
-----------------------
● Ai アイ●
AM 6:50
- (★≧▽^))★☆ Have a great day today too!! (★≧▽^))★☆
-------------------------
"……."
Kaoru ran a hand through his tousled hair and stared at his phone screen.
Starting a month after they began acting lessons, Ai had started sending him a strange greeting text every single morning at 6:50.
Did she prepare three months’ worth of scheduled messages in advance or something?
The first time he got one, he’d been thoroughly flustered. But now that he’d gotten used to it, Kaoru replied with a blank expression, tapping out the message with both thumbs.
-----------------------
AM 6:51
Yeah. You too.
-----------------------
At first, Ai had puffed up like an angry rabbit and complained that he shouldn’t send such halfhearted replies like some old man—but
Kaoru had lived a single-minded life long enough to have outlived Ai by more than three times her age.
He stubbornly refused to bend his own habits and kept replying in his own way.
Ai must have gotten used to it too, because after realizing that his personality was naturally a little detached, she actually became even more proactive about sending him messages.
Like this.
-----------------------
● Ai アイ●
AM 6:51
- Is it okay to do acting class in the evening?
- (´･ω･`)
-----------------------
"……."
Now she was texting him on her own, saying she wanted to take acting lessons.
Even while doing so, she’d complain nonstop about how he was too strict and explained things too difficultly.
But Kaoru, like he was dealing with a much younger little sister, let out a snort and tapped out his reply with both thumbs.
-----------------------
AM 6:52
We’ll see if I have time.
-----------------------
The moment he hit send, his phone vibrated.
-----------------------
● Ai アイ●
AM 6:52
- No? ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐
- My schedule ends early for once...
- 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。
-----------------------
"……."
She was crying.
Kaoru sat up in bed, rubbed the sleep from the corners of his eyes, and burst out laughing.
She’s a kid.
A perfect kid.
She types fast and cries fast too.
What he’d meant as a joke, delaying his answer, had apparently sounded to Ai no different from a final verdict.
Kaoru clicked his tongue, feeling like he’d become some old man who couldn’t even make jokes anymore, and immediately moved his thumbs again.
-----------------------
AM 6:53
Actually, it’s fine. Text me when you’re coming.
-----------------------
Zing-
Her reply came instantly.
-----------------------
AM 6:53
- Really!?
- I’ll message you!
- See you later!!
- ヽ(≧◡≦)八(o^ ^o)ノ
-----------------------
With an involuntary smile tugging at his lips, Kaoru sent back a short reply.
-----------------------
AM 6:54
Yeah.
-----------------------
By then, he was fully awake. Kaoru closed his phone, got out of bed with the smile still lingering on his face, and stretched.
After a bit of light stretching, he got ready for a jog.
He pulled on some running clothes and shorts, took his running shoes from the entryway, tied the laces, opened the front door, and stepped outside.
-
"……."
What is acting?
Famous actors and playwrights throughout history have each given different answers, but there is one keyword that runs through them all.
That is: natural imitation.
Kaoru himself, even without theory or any other acting classes at an academy or school, had outstanding acting ability thanks to his natural talent.
So when Ai asked him to teach her acting, he’d decided to start from the basics and teach her step by step in the way he thought best.
He even borrowed books on theory from a nearby public library and studied hard in his own way before teaching her.
For more than three months now, Kaoru had met her regularly, not always but at least once a week, to teach her acting.
"My love, my soul, come to me. My beloved husband!"
"……."
And yet why did the result turn out like this?
Kaoru stared at Ai’s performance with the same expression a professor might wear while watching a disastrous senior-year thesis presentation.
"Done! How was Ai’s amazing acting, Kaoru?"
"……."
"……?"
"Should I explain it from the beginning again? Was my explanation hard to understand?"
"Ehh! But— Kaoru, isn’t it hard for you too to explain things clearly from the very beginning? Is acting class supposed to be this stiff and difficult? What even are ‘etudes’ and ‘inspiration’ and ‘persona’ and all that? It’s way too hard!"
At Kaoru’s criticism, Ai stomped her feet and complained back in utter shamelessness, as if she’d been holding it in for a long time.
Hard?
Hard!?
For three months straight, he had poured everything he had into teaching her as clearly as possible, carefully combining the acting theory he’d studied and understood with the methods he himself had felt and used—explaining things like, ‘You need to get used to expressing your inner emotions while also discarding your own feelings and fully immersing yourself in the role,’ and, ‘Through improvisation, you have to awaken what’s called [inspiration].’
He gave plenty of examples and even demonstrated acting himself.
And yet.
And yet!
Hearing Ai’s outcry, the boy clutched his head like an old man drowning in despair as a tsunami came crashing down on him and cried out in agony.
"Oh, God! Please! No!"
At the sight of Kaoru dropping to his knees and holding his head.
"Pfft, kya-ha-ha!"
Before he knew it, Ai couldn’t hold back her laughter, bursting out like a child and pointing at Kaoru while clutching her stomach.
"Kaoru, pffft, Kaoru’s reaction is just too funny!"
"……That so."
"Ah, I’m crying. Ah. Kaoru-kun is way too funny."
Seeing Ai laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, Kaoru could only snort and shake his head.
When they were doing acting lessons, Kaoru showed this side of himself—honest about his feelings more than he ever had been, in both his past life and this one—only with Ai, who felt like a much younger little sister.
Ai was the same.
Rather, because Kaoru had been teaching her with sincerity and honesty from the very beginning, without prejudice, and had kept trying to talk to her that way, she too began shedding her awkwardness and tension, gradually revealing her own true feelings and becoming more honest.
So even after Kaoru realized that Ai’s acting talent would only really become [normal] once it grew properly, he still taught her with all his effort.
"Yeah. Right. You have to feel enjoyment first if you want to absorb things and focus properly."
"Mm! But Kaoru-kun, can you do voice impressions too?"
"No!?"
"Kya-ha-ha! Hic— hahahaha!"
Ai’s laughter rang out through the rehearsal room.
During acting lessons, she got annoyed, got angry, laughed, looked forward to things, felt disappointed, felt inferior, felt admiration, got excited, and even burst into tears—but before long, she no longer had trouble putting [sincerity] into the shining [star talent] she carried.
Watching Ai’s growth from right beside her, Kaoru found himself wanting a little more.
The [light] that had only faintly shown itself in her when they first met had, before he knew it, come to Kaoru like a brilliant aurora deep in his heart.
"Good. Let’s try it once."
"Huh? Try what?"
"Improvisation."
"Eh— again? We already did that earlier."
"Not alone. Let’s do it together. Good. Hmm... Do you know what the strongest emotion among human emotions is?"
At Kaoru’s question, Ai tapped her lips with her index finger and thought for a moment.
"Mm, [love]?"
"Exactly. [Love]. A person in love can even give their life to the object of that love. Whether that object is a lover, a child, a comrade, or anything else. Even an object."
"……Mm, I see. That’s kind of hard."
"It’s not hard. You’ll understand once you try it."
"Then, Kaoru-kun..."
Ai’s eyes suddenly lost their light and sank darkly.
Though her eyes were on Kaoru, her gaze seemed to drift farther and farther away, as if chasing a distant [past] she could no longer reach.
Just like the first time they met, Ai unconsciously fidgeted with her fingers and said in a quiet voice,
"Kaoru-kun... have you ever experienced [love]?"
Ai’s sudden ambush of a question.
At her question, which felt so serious it was almost dry, with not a trace of playfulness, Kaoru was momentarily at a loss for words and said nothing.
Bang!
In Kaoru’s ears, the gunshot from that forgotten moment echoed once more.
In his past life, he had once hidden away in an Indian orphanage for two years with the lover he loved.
Then, while fleeing an assassin who had tracked them down, his beloved lover was eventually shot—
"No... I haven’t. Not even once."
"Ah..."
Kaoru gave an awkward smile and shook his head. Ai, who had frozen for a moment, could only let out a small breath.
She wasn’t simply startled by the fact that he said he hadn’t.
It was because she had personally witnessed a flash of sadness, despair, and all sorts of dark emotions pass like a shadow over Kaoru’s smile in that instant.
She didn’t know why, but Ai even came to suspect that Kaoru might be hiding many secrets she didn’t know about—and that one of those secrets might be related to [love].
Then the reason her own emotions seemed to sway back and forth like a spinning top whenever she was in front of Kaoru...
"All right! So let’s do it together. [Love]. You’ve got five minutes."
"...Huh!? L-love? Together? Here? Really?"
Ai, her face reddening, asked back in surprise. Kaoru picked up the alarm clock on the table and answered with a serious expression.
"I want to draw out the strongest [emotion] inside you. Since you’ve never experienced [love] before, immerse yourself in your inner feelings and feel them. When you’re acting, you have to discard only [yourself] and fully immerse yourself in the role, in the fictional character."
"B-but—"
"If it’s too difficult, then fine. Let’s make the framework [The Bird That Flies Through the Sky], which we’ve both kept watching. You’ll be [Matsuko], and I’ll be [Sosuke]. Throw yourself into [Matsuko], Ai. While feeling your inner emotions."
Setting the alarm clock for six minutes, including one minute of preparation time, Kaoru sat down on the floor and quietly closed his eyes to steady his breathing.
Ai also closed her eyes right away, overwhelmed by tension, and clenched and unclenched both hands to settle herself.
As if by agreement, the two of them fell silent at the same time, and a quiet stillness settled over the rehearsal room, with only the two of them inside.
Beep-
When the alarm clock sounded, marking the start of the five-minute timer, Kaoru opened his eyes and looked at Ai, who had also opened hers to look at him, with a gaze full of both love and hate.
"Can’t you wait even a little?"
At Kaoru’s words, the atmosphere of [The Bird That Flies Through the Sky], which they had memorized and acted out countless times over the past three months, played automatically in his head like a piece of music.
In the 1980s, with the family on the verge of collapse due to the aftereffects of the bubble economy, the protagonist [Sosuke] tried to hold on to his fiancée [Matsuko], who was being forced by her family to find another engagement match because of their declining fortunes.
"You already know I can’t wait."
[Matsuko] could not accept her fiancé’s plea.
[Sosuke] grasped [Matsuko]’s hand and said,
"Have you forgotten the future we promised by the lakeside?"
"We only promised the past, the past."
"For you it may be the past, but for me it’s the present—and the future."
In an instant, the emotion boiling up inside his chest burst forth with an overwhelming force, following those starry eyes.
With tears welling in her eyes, Ai took hold of the hand gripping hers and said,
"I’m sorry. It’s not like that anymore."
"Matsuko!"
"The time we spent together was... yes. Precious, brilliant, and dreamlike. I think I’ll probably never... never forget it for the rest of my life. Even if I meet someone else, even until the moment I close my eyes."
Ai slowly pulled away the hand that was holding Kaoru’s.
Even just by pulling away.
Even just by knowing that she had grabbed his hand in order to let go.
Kaoru, fully immersed as [Sosuke], had eyes that shook violently, as if he had thrown away all his pride as a man and was screaming for her not to let go.
That scream reached Ai’s starry eyes without losing a single bit of its force.
[Matsuko] denied the fact that she had pulled [Sosuke]’s hand away with her own.
Even if it had been under pressure, pulling away the hand of someone who had once been her fiancé was entirely her own choice.
If she admitted that, she felt like she would collapse right there without taking even one step forward.
"Thank you. For making a woman like me happy all that time."
"Matsuko! Wait!"
"……."
[Sosuke] grabbed at [Matsuko] as she tried to turn away.
[Matsuko], Ai, turned her tearful eyes back and looked quietly at Kaoru.
At last, with [Sosuke] having thrown away every last shred of male pride, [Matsuko] looked back at him and, shedding one tear, said in a dying voice,
"You... you did [love] me, didn’t you?"
"……."
Ai parted her lips to say the original line automatically generated in her head: [No].
But no matter how much she thought about it.
The emotion boiling up inside her chest was not something so light that it could be covered over with a [lie].
At this moment, with her whole mind poured into it, this [sincerity] she was feeling for the very first time!
[Matsuko], Ai, was about to answer while shedding tears, carrying the longing and admiration she felt for Kaoru, and that [desire] so vast and distant it went beyond even her own ability to comprehend—something so huge and unfathomable she couldn’t even begin to put it into words—but
" "
Beep-beep-beep-
Beep-beep-beep-
Beep-beep-beep-
In that fleeting instant, the alarm rang out, and the [world] that had formed and connected the two of them melted away like a midsummer night’s dream.
Unable to answer in the end, Ai tried to gather herself and rein in the emotions she had become immersed in—but
"Huk, huk— sob—"
For some reason, she couldn’t hold back the regret, remorse, and sorrow that burst out all at once like a dam breaking, and she covered her face and sank down on the spot.
"Ai? Ai!"
"Huk— sob— sob sob—"
She had acted as [Matsuko] before, but maybe this was the first time she had become so completely immersed; she couldn’t pull herself together and ended up crying.
Startled, Kaoru hurried over, patted her shoulder, and stroked her hair to comfort her.
"That was the best. You did great, Ai!"
"...Mm."
Even with Kaoru’s praise, Ai only gave a quiet nod and little else.
Whether her face was red from crying or because she was embarrassed from being so close to Kaoru, he couldn’t tell.
Ai lifted her flushed face, gathered herself, placed a hand over her chest, steadied her breathing, and said,
"...I’m hungry."
"……."
As a wave of post-climax emptiness crashed over him like a tsunami, Kaoru quietly closed his eyes and reached the state of simply letting himself go.
-
After the long rehearsal ended, Kaoru saw Ai off to the train station, where she wore a hat.
Ai, in a good mood after eating fried chicken, smiled brightly at the boy and said,
"Today was really fun! I’ll never forget it. That thing you were talking about, Kaoru—the [inspiration] thing—I think I’m finally starting to get it?"
"Really? Then that’s good."
"Baa— your reaction is so boring. Kaoru needs to be a little more honest about his own feelings, you know?"
"...I already am. Who else is as transparent as me?"
"Liar! If Kaoru were Pinocchio, your nose would’ve stretched out like a three-section staff. Stretch, stretch— Oru-chan’s nose stretches and stretches—"
Wasn’t that a little too much?
Besides, it wasn’t a three-section staff, it was the Ruyi Jingu Bang.
And could she please stop calling him Oru-chan? Don’t treat him like a child.
Kaoru had those words right at the tip of his tongue, but since he was a much older and more mature adult than Ai, both in his past life and this one, he simply pointed toward the train entering the station and answered with a gesture telling her to hurry up and go.
"...Tch. It’s coming way too fast."
"Why? Isn’t it better if it comes quickly?"
"Baa— I don’t know! I don’t want to tell you everything!"
"……."
Whoosh-
Ai stepped lightly into the train as the doors opened.
Even with her hat on, her clothes were gradually changing in a way that was different from when they first met.
Kaoru felt a little proud of her and waved first to say goodbye.
"Get home safe."
"...Mm! You too, Kaoru-kun! I’ll text you!"
"Yeah."
Like a child, Ai waved both hands wildly, reluctant to part again so soon.
Smiling, she kept waving.
Zing-
The doors closed.
Even as the train began moving and slowly pulled away, Ai remained standing, her smile never fading, waving at Kaoru beyond the window and never once looking away.
Kaoru kept waving back at her too.
"……."
Once the train disappeared, Kaoru stared for a moment at the now-empty station.
As he slowly recalled and remembered everything that had happened today, all he could think about was Ai’s voice.
They had spent less than three hours together, but for Kaoru, those hours with Ai remained in his memory in vivid, abundant colors like the sky, the sea, and the fields.
That was why the silence left behind by all that liveliness felt even louder.
Kaoru put his hands in his pockets and let out a breath.
It was time to go back to the troupe again.
After leaving the station and climbing the last set of stairs.
Then, a familiar voice came from beside Kaoru.
"Hyung."
"...Hikaru?"
Hikaru stood in front of him, greeting him with a smile just like his own.
Why was Hikaru here?
Hikaru, who had said he had other business and hadn’t come to the troupe.
Kaoru walked up to his twin brother and said,
"Why are you here? You said you had an appointment."
"Yeah. It’s all done, and I was just about to head down."
"Really? You should’ve stopped by the troupe for a bit."
"Ah, I still have something to finish up at home."
"...Is that so?"
At Kaoru’s indifferent response, Hikaru smiled faintly and said,
"Was her name ‘Ai’? That girl."
"...Yeah. Why?"
"What do you think of her? Does she seem to have [star talent]?"
For an instant, Hikaru’s eyes flashed with black starlight as he fixed his gaze on his twin brother, as if trying to pierce straight through him.
Kaoru, sensing some inexplicable slickness in that look, pulled his hand out of his pocket and said,
"Yeah. Maybe even more than the two of us combined."
"……Is that so?"
"And while I’m thinking of it, let me say this too."
"?"
Kaoru took one long step closer to his twin brother.
Even as twins, there was a noticeable height difference between them.
Looking down at Hikaru, Kaoru said,
"Don’t go snooping around trying to get Ai’s phone number."
"……."
"You think I wouldn’t know? If you cause unnecessary misunderstandings, it’ll just be a pain for both of us. Right?"
Tee-dee-dee-dee-
The sound of the train approaching could be heard faintly just before it entered the station.
Even with the pressure of his twin brother’s gaze looming over him, Hikaru showed no sign of fear at all.
Even after his twin brother’s warning, rare and sharp-edged without any filter.
Instead of answering, he merely smiled faintly and passed Kaoru by, saying,
"...I’ll go first."
"……."
Hikaru quickly disappeared down the stairs.
Watching him go, Kaoru soon started walking too.
"Haah..."
Perhaps, in the not-too-distant future.
A strong premonition brushed past him that this peaceful everyday life might be shaken to its core.
The boy’s sigh deepened along with the passing night.
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