If someone asked me to sum up my current life in one word,
I would answer without hesitation: [happiness].
I was like that in the past, I am the same now, and I will remain the same in the future.
The life of 'Hoshino Ruby' is, in itself, a life that embodies [happiness].
If I looked at each day in detail, there would surely be days that were not happy.
Days when things did not go well, or unlucky days when a tiny mistake ruined everything.
There would certainly be days when I would cry, or days when I would be so angry I would want to give up on everything.
And yet.
Even so.
Ruby's life, Ruby's happiness, would never waver.
Living together with the mother and father and older brother and little siblings she loved most in the world-
The life of 'Hoshino Ruby,' running hard toward the [dream] she wanted to achieve, would itself become a brilliantly shining [morning star].
"You know, Ruby! Your father was so cool-! Eeeee!"
"Yeah, yeah! I was shocked at first, but when I watched it again, he was just too cool!!!"
"Ruby-chan's mother was like the heroine in a movie! A scene from a drama where the male lead saves the female lead so coolly!"
"Does your mother say anything? Did she do a reaction at home or something?"
"...Huh?"
Monday morning, not even forty-eight hours after the incident that had happened on Saturday evening.
Ruby, who had gone to school with her brother, heard the "reviews" her classmates were pouring out before she had even set her bag down.
At first, she had no idea how she was supposed to react.
This was the first time she had ever felt this way.
Across both her past life and her present life-
She had never once found emotions this difficult to express, this confusing.
Even more than when she had met her mother from her past life at the hospital when she was little.
"...Hah."
In contrast to the bright smile on her lips, her eyes were furrowed with uncomfortable anger.
Even though her friends probably meant no malice.
Ruby found every single noisy word they spat out unbearable.
Cool?
After setting her schoolbag on the desk and sitting down, Ruby mulled over what her friends had said.
The sorrow that had seeped into the starry eyes of the cheerful girl trembled nonstop.
No matter how many tears Ruby had shed in Mama and Papa's arms.
No matter how great her fear had been that a precious family member might have been hurt again.
So from the very beginning, none of you cared about any of that.
For Ruby, who had to hear this from the very first moment of Monday morning, as soon as she arrived at school.
The behavior of her classmates, poking at the sensitive anger and anxiety she had barely suppressed and hidden in a corner of her heart as if they might burst it open-
Gradually began to distort the pure heart of a girl who had never once spoken ill of anyone or said anything harsh.
She could rationally accept the fact that her friends' reactions were natural.
But that did not mean her judgment or her response to it could always be rational too.
"I told my brother to teach me judo once, and he got so mad..."
"Huh? Judo? There's no way Momochan's brother is better than Ruby's dad~"
"I'm always cold and rational when it comes to my own blood! Honestly, I only said it because I knew that. Puhahah-"
"If he messes up an osoto-gari and falls toward Momochan later, wouldn't that be dangerous?"
Spouting things like that however they pleased- you lot are no different anyway.
"Ah, right! Who saw Ruby's dad do that throw back then?"
"Me! Me!"
"Ah, that was so cool too~!"
Hearing her classmates chatter so freely in front of the family of the person involved, even bringing up the [December attack incident] from ten years ago-
The last psychological barrier in her mind snapped with a sharp break.
"...You're so noisy. Stop saying whatever you want-"
Ruby's brilliant starry eyes lost their light for an instant, then emitted a deep, dark [starlight] like the abyss as she glared at the classmates surrounding her and chattering noisily.
Just before the cold voice, with none of her usual cheerfulness or liveliness left in it, could be fully spat out-
A large, warm hand, exactly like [Dad]'s, settled on Ruby's shoulder.
"Ruby."
Indifferent, mature eyes. Yet the warm and gentle kindness hidden beneath them was a privilege granted only to Ruby, who was truly [family].
The touch of her brother's hand, resting on her shoulder and patting it with his own steady rhythm.
Like a lie, it erased the anger that had been bewitching and gnawing at her mind, and the words and feelings she had been about to hurl at her friends scattered away like smoke, leaving no shape behind.
"...O-older brother."
Ruby's starry eyes, having regained their light before she knew it, looked at her brother in surprise.
"Eh-"
"Ah, Aqua-kun. Good morning!"
The girls who had been focused on Ruby's words all drew back a little, like proper young ladies, at Aqua's sudden appearance.
One blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear, another covered her mouth and laughed, and yet another tried to strike up a trivial morning greeting in hopes of talking to Aqua.
But Aqua paid them no mind at all, not even glancing at them, and removed his hand from his little sister's shoulder before naturally taking her right hand and gently leading her away.
When Ruby, who had been sitting, stood up as he led her, Aqua said in an indifferent voice,
"Homeroom teacher called for us. Let's go together."
"...Eh- The homeroom teacher?"
Without answering Ruby's puzzled question, Aqua left the classroom.
He was simply leaving the class for some business, but even that was beautiful enough to look like a single frame from a photo spread.
The girls, as if spellbound, could not tear their eyes away and could only stare at the backs of the Hoshino siblings as they walked out the door.
"Brother? Isn't the staff room, uh, to the right?"
"......"
Ruby was still being led away by her brother with her right hand tightly held.
He had said the homeroom teacher called for them, but instead of the staff room, they were in the art room hallway at a sparsely populated morning hour.
She could have gotten angry at her brother for dragging her here without explanation while holding her hand, but-
Ruby blinked her luminous starry eyes and, pretending not to notice, tightened her grip on the hand holding hers.
Her gaze kept drifting to her brother's dependable back, to that broad, sturdy frame like Papa's-
So Ruby belatedly called out to him again.
"...Brother?"
At his little sister's call, Aqua stopped walking and turned back to meet Ruby's eyes.
"This place is enough to cool your head for a bit."
"...Mm~ Brother- you noticed I was angry after all? What kind of little-sister radar is that?"
Ruby, wearing a sly little troublemaker's smile, twitched her brows.
She made a V with her left thumb and index finger, bringing it under her chin in detective mode, and Aqua's consideration felt unbearably cute to her.
But Aqua, unmoved even by his little sister's gaze, let go of Ruby's hand, checked the time on his wristwatch, and said in an indifferent voice,
"Ruby, if you go around lashing out because you're angry, my position in class will definitely get worse too. If I were to advise you, that's a completely immature thing to do, with no thought for what comes after."
"Eh-!? T-th-that's the only reason!? Seriously? So cold-!!!"
Ruby was genuinely hurt by the unexpectedly honest remark instead of the sweet, family-loving, sibling-loving response she had expected.
Aqua looked at his little sister puffing out her cheeks.
The instant his indifferent blue eyes disappeared behind his eyelids and then opened again-
Instead of cold detachment, only the gentle and warm starry eyes permitted to [someone precious] shone with a soft light.
A playful smile bloomed on Aqua's lips.
"Haha, I'm joking. Sorry."
"Puuuu-!!! Mean, mean, mean! Idiot! Idiot!"
With blazing eyes and puffed-out cheeks, Ruby launched a rapid series of baby-rabbit punches against her brother's chest.
But they didn't hurt at all.
Laughing, Aqua silently endured the little rabbit fists drumming against his chest.
That was because Ruby herself had not really put much force into them either.
Anyway, to the only person at school who understood her heart, the one pillar she relied on-
She poured out every last bit of her unresolved heavy feelings, as if throwing a tantrum.
"......"
"Ruby."
She stopped the rabbit fists pounding his chest.
Just as Mom did to Dad. Just as Ruby did to Mom and Dad. Now, just as little Ame did to Ruby.
As always, Ruby threw herself into her brother's broad chest and buried her face there.
Aqua raised his right hand and patted Ruby's slender shoulder.
"Everyone's so stupid. But... I didn't want to say it like that.... I was going to get angry, but even up to the moment I was about to do it... I kept thinking that if I did, Ruby would end up being the only idiot. I was scared. I kept thinking maybe this wasn't the right thing to do...."
"......"
"Brother was right. They aren't at fault... I know that too. It's just... I didn't want to hear it... and it annoyed me."
"Lacking consideration is indeed a fault. Ruby. But it is absolutely not your fault."
Aqua's firm voice came to Ruby's ears.
Not merely echoing her emotions, but standing on her side with reasoning and logic as the basis for his judgment, her twin brother's words made Ruby, with her face still buried in his chest, feel a smile slowly forming at the corners of her mouth.
"Brother was... angry too?"
"......"
Silence meant yes, didn't it?
Instead of answering, Aqua took a breath and looked out the window at the school grounds.
As the family of the person involved. No, not merely as family, but as the [children] of 'Hoshino Ai' and 'Hoshino Kaoru.'
No matter how childish the impressions of third-year middle school students might be, who could sit calmly while listening to them spout unfiltered words as they pleased?
But Aqua knew.
If he got angry, he could cut off the immediate source of trouble, and his own heart might feel better, but in the end it would only produce meaningless results, like trying to scoop seawater out with a small bowl.
The fact that the Hoshino siblings had gotten angry would become another rumor, and that rumor would circle around and around until it created yet another issue, adding to the story that the siblings had been furious about Saturday's incident, and it would never stop being passed from mouth to mouth.
The ones who would suffer again because of that cycle would be none other than his precious [family].
His parents, too, had personally endured this kind of phenomenon for nearly twenty years, weathering every storm to rise to the top, so after the accident they deliberately said as little as possible and stepped back to watch.
The public simply could not understand human feelings. That was something his young parents had learned firsthand long ago, by enduring the bitter pain themselves.
"School and uniforms... make people emotional. If I had gotten angry in your place, Ruby, you would have stopped me instead, wouldn't you?"
"Mm... no? Ruby would've screamed too, like, kyaaah-! Kyaaah-! if I were with Brother, I wouldn't be scared at all!"
"Puhuhu- Is that so?"
"Yeah! Of course! Because Brother would protect Ruby."
"......"
At his little sister's cute and bizarre claim that the only thing she could rely on was her twin brother, Aqua had no choice but to accept it, even though he wondered if this was really right, because a pleased smile naturally formed on his face.
Human logic and reason collapse like a sandcastle in the face of cuteness.
After checking his wristwatch, Aqua confirmed that first period would begin soon and said to Ruby, who was still in his arms,
"First period starts soon. We have to go in now, Ruby."
"Mmm... uu- I don't want to go... I want to keep playing with Brother, just the two of us. Hehe..."
"Skipping class is not allowed."
"Puu- I wasn't saying I wanted to skip class-! Idiot brother."
"It's the same thing."
Contrary to his firm tone, Aqua gently stroked Ruby's brilliant blond hair with both hands.
It was a special measure for his little sister, who always acted spoiled toward her brother whenever something displeased her, demanding affectionate touches every moment.
"......"
Ruby could feel that the touch stroking her hair carried the thought of "this is the last one."
Little by little, the brief peace she had with her brother was coming to an end.
That had always been the way.
Worry, anxiety.
Just like when you follow a finger with your eyes and for a moment the rest of the world disappears, and your mind is only occupied by the point the finger is indicating.
The peace felt while spending time with someone you love, someone dear and precious, soon expires when time reaches it.
And then the things that had not been visible in that moment appear once more before your eyes.
"...Hehe, okay, that's enough-! Let's go. Brother."
With a faint smile that was barely visible, Ruby awkwardly slipped out of her brother's arms.
The feeling of helplessness toward an unresolved problem was something she had experienced nonstop even in her past life.
So Ruby knew better than anyone how to deal with it.
How to respond to a crisis, how to solve things when the same kind of worry came along....
Once a way of living and a method of handling life had been established, did it really never change?
"...The cheerleading club?"
Aqua, quickening his steps toward the classroom, muttered when he spotted the cheerleading club practicing hard at one corner of the grassy field, music playing.
A song with a familiar melody flowed through the speakers, and the energetic voices of the cheerleading club members practicing from early morning echoed through the air.
Mixed in with the cheerleading club's spirited shouts was that familiar melody.
Following Aqua's gaze, Ruby's eyes naturally turned toward the cheerleading club on the field.
"Sign Is B-★ ㅡ!"
The eternal [legend] of the Japanese idol stage. The one and only [ultimate idol] in both past and future.
The voice of her [oshi]—her [mother]—sang out in Ruby's ear with bright, lovable lyrics.
Ruby's starry eyes, watching the club members practicing cheerleading to the song, drifted far, far away, as if chasing the [past].
"...Hey, Brother."
Shouting [love] toward the fans filling the entire field of vision.
Always smiling without change, with starry eyes full of [love], reaching out first to the fans.
Even knowing the uncomfortable truth that not only fans, but countless unspecified people, do not always answer [love] with the same kind of [love].
"Could Ruby... become a wonderful [idol] like Mama?"
"Huh?"
...In the past, burying the pain of [Dad] being attacked in her heart, she once again stood on the reopened Tokyo Dome concert stage and shouted [love] toward the countless fans.
Like last Saturday evening-
Even if, from now on, some terrifying stranger were to rush at her while shouting [love] on their own accord.
As for 'Hoshino Ruby' herself-
"Like Mama did... for the fans I don't even know... even if I'm scared, could I become a wonderful [idol] who smiles as if nothing is wrong and says [I love you]?"
"...!"
Aqua's steps came to a sudden halt.
His heart dropped, and his starry blue eyes, fixed on Ruby's back as she walked past him, slowly widened.
At his precious little sister's quiet voice, carrying deep sorrow and a heavy worry that could not be carelessly judged-
"Ru-"
♩♪♬ ~
As if bewitched, his right hand, which had been reaching out toward Ruby, froze in midair at the sound of the bell.
At the same time.
Ruby, reacting to the bell, spun around and smiled brightly, her usual cuteness and charm mixed together in one expression.
Her brilliant blond hair sparkled like sunlight on the surface of water in the morning light shining through the window.
"We'll be late, Brother. Let's hurry-"
With a cheerful eye-smile that showed none of the darkness from a moment ago-
Ruby turned and ran ahead toward the classroom.
"......"
Aqua could not say a single word to the receding Ruby.
He knew.
That smile, that grin. That bright, cheerful voice was all [lie].
It was clearly a habit from her [past life] of sacrificing her own heart and emotions in order to reassure others.
The fleeting [worry] shown by Ruby, his precious little sister, was a heavy and painful [anguish] that could not be hidden or concealed, no matter how hard one tried.
He knew.
But.
As her [older brother] and as her [teacher].
So much so that all the experience of his life felt meaningless-
So much so that all the countless promises he had made to 반드시 protect [your] happiness felt meaningless-
He, Aqua, remained frozen in place, obscured by the afterglow Ruby had left behind.
-
That afternoon.
For the first time since she began training, Ruby called Takamine and told her she would be skipping training due to her condition.
Takamine seemed genuinely surprised, but Ruby, while lying, also felt guilty and ashamed, so she quickly said not to worry and hung up.
"......"
After setting her smartphone on the bed, Ruby sat in the chair and lay face-down on the desk, closing her eyes.
I don't know.
It's hard, confusing, and I can't get a grip on it.
She could say with confidence that in all her life, her goal of wanting to achieve her [dream] had never wavered.
But whether what she was doing now was really right, Ruby could not get anything done because of the anxiety and confusion that came every second.
For the first time-
For the first time, her [dream] was wavering.
But.
She did not want to show her family this helpless side of herself, struggling over such a thing.
She did not want to look foolish, wavering before her [dream]. Above all, she did not want to worry the most precious family in the world.
Not to her beloved [Mama]. Not to her beloved [Papa].
Both of them were surely already having a hard time because of the series of incidents.
So if possible, she wanted to solve it on her own as much as she could.
She knew.
This was... [greed].
"Uu..."
Like her [oshi], like her [Mama].
Could 'Hoshino Ruby' become a wonderful [idol]?
In front of countless people she did not know, whose faces she did not know.
Could she endure the fear and terror gripping her heart?
Could she manage to do it as if it were nothing?
"Ruby."
"Sis~!"
"...Hehe, big brooo- Ame-"
Late at night, before bed.
Aqua and Ame slipped up onto Ruby's bed and sat together.
"Heehee- Big sis is warm!"
"Ame too! Kyaaa-★ So cute~"
The warm body heat coming from the fragrant, brilliant purple hair inherited from their mother and the little one's small frame made her forget her heavy heart for a moment.
About the relay race they had done in gym class at school today,
About how the new male teacher was so handsome he looked like a prince and was the talk of the school from first grade to sixth,
And about what book she had read today,
And even about singing together beside Mom for their lovely youngest little brother Amber.
Ame had so much she wanted to say that, full of excitement, she bobbed her head in her sister's arms and chattered away, spilling out her stories with great enthusiasm.
It would have been annoying to have such a little sister, but-
"Wow- Really? Hahahat-"
"Eeeh- That must've been fun~"
Aqua and Ruby wore satisfied smiles, responding to Ame's stories and listening with all their hearts.
Then Ruby, curious after Ame boasted that she had been praised for the book report she wrote in Korean class, asked her,
"Ame, what's your [dream]? When you become an adult- what kind of person do you want to be when you grow up?"
At Ruby's question, Ame tilted her head slightly into the gentle touch of her brother's hand as it fondled her cheek, then soon said with a bright smile exactly like their mother's,
"Mm, I don't know!"
"Eeeeh~? You d-don't know? Ame doesn't have anything she wants to b-become... W-well, I guess you're still an elementary school student~ You're still little~ Life planning and career paths are..."
"Ru, Ruby."
"Huh? Sis~! Being little and not knowing what you want to be aren't 'correlated'!"
Correlated...?
Ruby felt a subtle distance from her youngest sister, who was using vocabulary so difficult it was almost chilling, but-
She could only smile at Ame's answer as the little girl burrowed into her arms like a rabbit and rubbed her head against her.
"I have so many dreams- I don't know which one to choose! Even if I can't dance as well as Mom and Sis! I can sing well. Then maybe I'd be a singer?
Ame likes reading books, so- yeah- a reporter? An author?
But running around and playing is fun too! Playing with friends is fun too. Then- sometimes I want to be a teacher like our class teacher.
If Ame gets good at acting like Dad, I want to become an actor and appear on TV too!
I have a friend who learns piano- and Ame wants to become a pianist too-
Oh- that's right! I want to try being a swimmer too! The swimming teacher clapped and said Ame was good at swimming!"
"Eeeeh-?!"
Like a healthy elementary school kid growing up day by day, cute Ame had a lot of things she wanted to be.
She was like a pure, cute little cumulus cloud floating softly across the blue sky, and Ruby found her so precious and adorable that she unconsciously pulled Ame close and rubbed her head against hers.
Laughing gleefully, Ame spent some time chattering happily in her sister's arms, then in her brother's arms.
And then, coolly, she declared she was sleepy, said "Good night! I love you!" and went off to get good-night kisses from their parents.
'Ame really has a lot of [dreams].'
Feeling the warmth the little one had left behind still lingering in her arms, Ruby thought with a smile full of both satisfaction and worry.
It was an age when you had many things you wanted to become.
So many that you couldn't choose just one.
...But I.
The dream I wanted to become, the [dream] I wanted to achieve, was only one.
All the effort and time I had invested so far could turn into nothing.
If, from here, I were told to give up everything and choose another path.
...Then I would.
"...Ruby."
"Mm?"
Ruby's starry eyes turned toward her brother, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.
Aqua's blue, gentle, warm gaze, carrying countless emotions and a faint smile, was looking at Ruby.
Aqua said nothing for a moment, took Ruby's right hand, and stroked the white, pretty hand that resembled their mother's.
"Brother is always on Ruby's side."
"...Mm. I know. Brother has always been on Ruby's side, right?"
A playful, sparkling starry smile.
As if answering it, Aqua quietly let out a laugh and nodded.
"Yeah. Haha- Mm... of course, even when I was [teacher]... I was always on your side."
"......"
Perhaps because she was slightly startled, Ruby's starry eyes jerked open wide.
Usually Aqua avoided bringing up the [past life] first.
But now was different.
"I'm... always on your side. Whatever choice you make... I'll be on your side.
Even if you make unreasonable demands of our parents, or insist without any plan that you want to give up everything and start over from the beginning because you have so many things you want to do.
Until the very end- I've decided I'll be on your side. That decision will never change."
"......"
Past life and present life.
Aqua's gentle gaze and warm smile, across both his past and present lives, had held and cared for the heart of the person crouched alone inside herself.
And then, as if by a miracle, they had met again like this.
In this second life too.
He was promising, without change, to remain on the side of 'Tendouji Sarina'—'Hoshino Ruby.'
"Ruby, if you ever have a worry, come talk to Brother anytime. If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay too. It's time to learn how to think things through and solve them on your own too.
But if it's a worry so deep and heavy that it's too much for you to bear... if it's too hard and overwhelming to solve alone, then even if it's not right away... even if a day, a week, or ten days pass, please gather your courage and tell Brother.
If we think it through together and discuss it, we can find a way, even if it's not necessarily the right answer."
"...Mm."
Moisture gathered over Ruby's ruby-colored starry eyes.
Ruby lowered her gaze toward the bed, then fidgeted with her fingers as if she wanted to be held in his arms.
Quick on the uptake, Aqua spread his arms wide, ready to embrace his small, slender little sister.
Just like in the morning, Ruby slipped into Aqua's arms and hugged him tightly, rubbing her face against his chest.
Aqua closed his eyes for a moment and slowly stroked his little sister's back.
Hoping that this child would find the answer within her worries.
"...Of course, there will be exceptions. For example, that doesn't include asking me to secretly eat vegetables you hate without Mom and Dad knowing?"
"......Puhuhut-! I'll just put them on Brother's plate whenever I want, though? Ruby never asked for permission."
"That's cheating."
It was cheating.
But Aqua had resolved himself to that extent, to secretly eat the vegetables Ruby hated for her if necessary.
For the sake of the little sister he loved, he would do his best as an older brother.
However, as always, life does not go according to plan.
Aqua never imagined that he would have to carry out his promise to Ruby this quickly.
"Brother!"
"...Mm?"
"Ruby wants to leave early! It's a fake illness, but I want to leave early!"
"......"
The next morning, as soon as they arrived at school.
At the unexpectedly rapid turn of events, a headache surged through him as if someone were jabbing his temple with a Phillips screwdriver.
It was exactly ten times the psychological shock he had felt after pulling three straight days of night duty.
Aqua shut his eyes tightly and rubbed his forehead.
He had to stop her.
Friend or not, as her family and precious older brother, he could not encourage or stand by while his precious little sister skipped school like this.
As her brother, as an elder, as an adult. As the eldest son of the 'Hoshino family.'
He needed to sternly tell her that no meant no- to scold her...
"Waaah... nurse teacher. Ruby, my stomach hurts so, so much..."
"Eek?! R-really? What hurts? Is, is Aqua-kun here because his stomach hurts too?!"
"......"
Sitting in a chair and clutching her stomach, Ruby lifted her head slightly and looked at her brother with a mischievous little devil's smile.
It was exactly the same as the 'that smile' their mother wore when teasing their father or playing pranks on him.
Seeing his little sister's wicked grin, Aqua let out a low sigh and closed his eyes tightly, but-
If this too was a process that would help solve your worry.
Then so be it.
"Yes. My pants are in immediate danger."
"Huek?!"
At Aqua's blunt and decisive declaration, the nurse teacher was shocked like a manga character.
On the morning of the fourth day after the incident.
For the first time in their two-and-a-half years of middle school life, the twin siblings headed home with an early-dismissal slip stamped by their homeroom teacher.
And then-
"Mamaaaaa-♥ Just for today, I'm skipping with a fake illness! Sorry-★"
"Eeeek-! Fake illness early dismissal-?!"
"......Ahh."
At the sight of his troublesome little sister-
And even his mother's startled reaction, who was second to none when it came to being utterly self-paced... Aqua covered his forehead and let out a deep sigh tangled with complicated feelings and reflections.
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