"Waaah~ I’m so full! ★"
Ai set down her empty bowl, took a sip of oolong tea, and leaned back in her chair with a blissful smile.
At a glance, it was obvious she’d been very satisfied with the meal. Since they’d met today, this was the happiest she had looked.
Of course, Kaoru had already finished eating long ago—he was in the middle of sipping his oolong tea and clearing his mouth, since he was in a growth spurt and had always had a big appetite—but...
After watching Ai eat her donburi like a hamster for so long, he felt that rare sensation of being full just by looking at someone else.
To think that much donburi could disappear into that tiny body.
Kaoru laughed at the sight of Ai slumping in her chair like a limp hamster, then rested his chin on his hand over the table and said, "You were hungry, huh."
"Mhm~ I hadn’t put anything in my mouth except a sandwich at lunch earlier, you know?"
"Was that not enough or something?"
"Nope! It was perfect! Donburi really is happiness in a bowl, no matter when you eat it. Hey, Kaoru. I think I’m going to become a regular here?"
Ai, energized by the delicious food, spoke with sparkling eyes, and Kaoru could only tilt his head.
"...Aren’t you already a regular?"
"Wrong! You only become a regular once Ai officially appoints you as one. Until then, it doesn’t count!"
"Ah... so now I’m really your "regular," then?"
"Ding-dong! You got it, so here’s your prize: Ai’s heart♥!"
Ai sent him a starlit wink and a heart, overflowing with an [idol]’s [love].
As if answering the cheers of hundreds of fans standing before her all at once, there was nothing awkward about her signature pose.
It was, quite literally, a born [idol]’s talent. The [ultimate idol] shining all on her own!
"......"
Kaoru stared at her for a moment with his usual indifferent expression, then tossed the wet wipes into the trash and stood up.
"Boss, could you ring us up?"
"Yup!"
"...You idiot. Total idiot. Big idiot. Just an idiot. Huge idiot. You’re an [idol], and you’re ignoring me? So mean. Ba-oooru."
Kaoru pretended not to hear Ai’s muttered curse as she stuck to his side and grumbled at him, and finished paying.
When they stepped out of the shop, the streets were packed with people despite the late hour.
Friday evenings were definitely crowded.
"Hmm. Anywhere you want to go?"
"Dunno."
Kaoru looked at Ai, still pouting like an angry rabbit, and let out a snort.
So the pride of an [idol] really did exist after all.
Kaoru, who was well over fifty when you combined his past and present lives, could only find her sulking mode adorable, like a little sister.
And unlike when they first met, her honest reactions—laughing when something was funny, getting sulky when she was upset—had become a pretty interesting thing to watch for him.
Still, this was rare time off. He couldn’t just leave her pouting the whole time. It was time for the older one to soothe her.
Kaoru glanced at the dessert shop right next to the donburi place.
Luckily, he saw a couple leaving with ice cream cones they had just received.
Kaoru lowered his head and said to Ai, "Ai, do you like chocolate?"
"Yeah. I do, but why?"
Kaoru pointed at the ice cream shop and said, "I’ll buy you some."
"Kyaaaah!"
"......"
The pout vanished in an instant, and Kaoru watched her dash toward the ice cream shop like a fish thrown back into water. He gave a dry laugh and shook his head.
Kaoru had once again learned that women’s weakness for sweet desserts was universal. He took out his wallet and walked over to her, where she was licking her lips with sparkling eyes as she stared at the menu board.
-
"......"
"......"
Kaoru was currently... feeling the most suffocating tension he had felt since recovering the memories of his past life and regaining those old sensations.
His eyes slowly tracked something, and with the sharp sense he’d inherited for finding the optimal position, he pressed the button.
Beep-
Drrr-
Jjjjjj-
The veins in his eyes bulged as they trembled violently.
Just a little more.
Just a little... more!!!!!
Click-
Drrr...
"Ah..."
"Tch..."
Failure.
He’d failed again.
Kaoru was seized by the urge to drag out that feeble plastic claw and wring its neck.
This was his first time trying a crane game, in both his past and present lives.
At first, it didn’t seem that hard, and he couldn’t understand why everyone made such a fuss over it.
Kaoru had stood before the crane game full of confidence.
Two hundred yen per try.
It was expensive for what was basically a single chance, but Kaoru had been sure of himself.
And then.
Kaoru had already sunk his fifth try into the machine, a full 1,000 yen.
He had never expected the crane game to be this difficult.
Kaoru glanced softly at Ai, who let out a disappointed sigh beside him, then glared at the plush again and tightened his grip on the joystick in his right hand.
Creaaak-
The stick groaned under his terrifying grip, but that was none of his concern.
Because that stupid-looking—no, that cute, irritatingly cute carrot-munching rabbit plush was what Ai wanted.
Because while they were eating ice cream and chatting, Ai had stopped in her tracks and gotten completely distracted by the plush.
Kaoru’s sincere wish was to leave her with a good memory after a busy day, and as the older one, to give this girl who felt like a little sister a gift she’d never forget.
When Ai kept waving it off and refusing, saying it was fine, Kaoru had told her not to worry and chosen the crane game instead of buying it at the ridiculous listed price of 【5000 yen】.
And the result was that 1,000 yen had gone up in smoke, crushing Ai’s expectations and leaving her disappointed.
"Mm... I think we should just go. I’m fine, Kaoru. You’ve already spent 1,000 yen. We can just buy a similar plush later. Now that I look at it, it’s not even that cute anyway."
"......"
Instead, she worried about him, acting like it was fine and urging him to leave the shop.
Kaoru staggered, pushed out by Ai’s back, and trudged out of the shop like a defeated soldier, still clinging to his regret.
At Kaoru’s dazed reaction, Ai forgot her disappointment and giggled.
"Hehe— Kaoru has something he can’t do too, huh?"
"...Haah. I wasn’t calm enough."
"Hee— Since I’m older than you, that’s only natural~ I could tell when you were doing the crane game. Kaoru’s really just a helpless little boy after all— you were practically shooting lasers like you were trying to kill the plush, and it scared me too!"
"But you really wanted that rabbit plush, didn’t you?"
"...Yeah. I really did. But even though you couldn’t get it in the end, you still kept trying for me, so I’m happy! I also felt bad that I made you spend so much money."
"What are you apologizing for? I did it because I wanted to. Wait here, Ai. I’m going to the bathroom for a sec."
"Okay!"
After Kaoru went back into the shop, Ai turned her gaze to the many people around them and watched them for a while.
So many people brushed past her, filling the street, each of them busy with their own conversations as they hurried by.
What were they talking about?
What had their day been like?
Were they happy and joyful right now too, in this moment with the people precious to them?
Ai remembered Kaoru’s serious expression from when he’d been trying to win the crane-game plush, and she laughed, covering her mouth.
She had never dreamed that Kaoru, who always seemed so mature and indifferent, would have such a competitive side.
Maybe there were still so many of Kaoru’s emotions, faces, and stories she didn’t know yet.
Ai couldn’t suppress the curiosity that was slowly blooming in her heart.
So she wanted to take one more step closer.
It was greed.
Her first real greed.
But Ai shook her head and erased that greed again.
If she wanted to take one step closer, she had to allow Kaoru the same step in return.
Even Ai, who was awkward with people, already understood that well.
But could Kaoru really accept it?
Even if he saw her true self, her mind, her secrets—blackened, rotten, hideous, and completely empty because she had locked them away as a [lie]—would he still understand her the same way?
"Ai!"
"Ah—!"
Ai snapped out of her thoughts at Kaoru’s voice from behind and turned around in surprise.
The moment she did, the rabbit plush she had wanted so badly was floating right in front of her, munching cutely on a carrot!
"A— wha— ah— w-what is this—"
"That surprised you?"
"Wha— h-how did you— buy it? With money? It, it must’ve been expensive..."
Still flustered and unable to speak properly, Ai asked cautiously with a flushed face.
Kaoru put the hat he’d been holding back on his head, shrugged, and said, "I got a discount. On the way back from the bathroom, the owner seemed to recognize me, so I went straight for the autograph-and-photo combo."
"Eh— eh? But—"
"It’s fine. I wanted to give this to you no matter what. Hah! Hahaha. It’s my first time doing this, so I’m a little awkward. How do you even do this kind of thing, Ai?"
The boy had clearly said it.
That he became an [actor] because he liked [acting], not because he wanted to become famous.
That he didn’t really like people recognizing him.
That was why he had worn a hat he normally never used when he met her.
And yet Kaoru—the indifferent Kaoru—had, for the first time, approached a fan first, taken a photo, and given an autograph.
For her.
Even though it wasn’t an easy choice.
That [sincerity] he had resolved on for her.
That [sincerity] that reached her heart far more powerfully than the huge music blasting from the speakers on stage.
Ai took the plush in both arms and hugged it tightly to her chest, and at last, with true [sincerity], she filled her smile with gratitude and said, "...Th-thank you, Kaoru. I’ll treasure it forever. Thank you. I’m so happy I never want to forget this."
"Then that’s enough."
Seeing her face lit with pure joy, Kaoru felt it was all worthwhile and gave a brief smile.
-
Rattle-
As soon as the train doors opened, Kaoru and Ai stepped inside and took their places.
Since it was late, there were no empty seats, and the doors on the side where Ai was getting off would open on the opposite side of the platform.
After walking around so much, Ai must have been tired and sleepy, because she covered her mouth and yawned quietly.
"Tired?"
Kaoru, who had pulled his hat down low over his eyes so no one would recognize him at all, asked with a faint note of concern as they boarded the train.
Ai shook her head and smiled.
"Nope! I’m fine! I’m going to sleep in super late tomorrow★"
"Yeah. You’ll sleep well, then."
"Hehe-"
Ai gave a short laugh, holding the pole with one hand and the paper bag with the plush in the other as she stared at Kaoru.
Even with the hat on, the charm of his brilliant blond hair and blue eyes like the sky couldn’t be hidden.
Kaoru, who had been looking out at the scenery beyond the train window, felt her gaze on him and turned to meet her eyes.
"...What?"
"Hm? Ah, no— nothing. I was just— looking at you."
Kaoru looked down at Ai for a moment, then gave a small smile and said, "Really?"
His voice was indifferent.
Ai fiddled with the paper bag in her left hand, then lifted her head again and asked Kaoru, "What were you talking about with that foreign man and woman earlier? Did you understand everything they were saying?"
"Ah— yeah. They were tourists from Spain. They were lost, so I showed them the way to Suitengu Shrine."
"Spain? Ah— so that alien language was Spanish..."
Ai nodded, finally solving the mystery of the alien language.
English was hard enough already, and now Spanish too.
If that Western couple had spoken to her, she would have shown them the way in Japanese.
They wouldn’t understand each other, but that was the only language she knew, so there was nothing to be done.
Thinking of Kaoru’s fluent Spanish, Ai said, "Where did you learn Spanish, Kaoru? If you can speak it like a native, you must’ve studied really hard, right?"
"...I learned it on the internet."
"Ah.... I see."
Ai instinctively realized that Kaoru had told her a [lie].
Anyone else would have been fooled by Kaoru’s answer, but Ai noticed immediately.
She had wanted an honest answer, but for some reason Kaoru had chosen a [lie] instead.
Kaoru’s [lie] brought back the distance she had faintly felt earlier, this time in a way she could no longer ignore, when what she had wanted was his [sincerity].
But Ai also realized that even this feeling of hers was greed.
She still had many things she was hiding from Kaoru too.
And besides— Kaoru had at least given her this plush in his left hand for her, hadn’t he?
Ai’s mind grew tangled with the conflict between the greed that kept rising in her and the desire to turn away from it and protect herself.
She definitely wanted to take one more step closer.
And yet—
Rattle-
"Hah."
Kaoru let out a short breath when he saw the people cramming into the train.
Friday night. The train was already packed so tightly with people it looked like a human bean sprout sprouter, with no room to even stand.
As bodies bumped and jostled against him, Kaoru bit his lip hard.
There was no way a small, already-tired girl like Ai could endure this properly, and if anything happened to her in a train this crowded, there would be nothing he could do.
Kaoru made a quick decision and immediately grabbed Ai by the shoulder, turning her toward the window.
"Eh?"
Ai was lightly moved like a hamster in someone’s hand and instantly pinned against the wall by Kaoru.
She had been put in a position where she was completely boxed in by him.
She knew the boy was very strong, but even so, she hadn’t expected him to move her that easily, like some kind of hamster.
As the stunned Ai looked up at Kaoru with wide eyes, the boy gave an awkward smile and whispered quietly, "Bear with it a little, even if it’s uncomfortable."
Screeeech-
As the train entered a curve, it slowed down, but the passengers began to lean toward the outside of the turn.
To withstand the pressure of the crowd, Kaoru clenched his teeth. He gripped the pole tightly with his right hand and braced himself against the wall with his left forearm and elbow.
If Kaoru hadn’t acted right away, she might have been shoved by the crowd and toppled over under the pressure.
"......"
Ai, who had been quietly looking down, felt Kaoru’s hot breath settle over the top of her head.
She carefully shifted her gaze and caught sight of his forearm—thick and solid, not at all like that of a first-year boy only a few months younger than her.
Kaoru’s firm upper body, which clearly hadn’t neglected exercise, was slowly brushing against her arm too.
Ai stayed silent, but that was also because she had suddenly been startled into listening to the pounding in her ears.
"This is weird. Too weird."
Ai hugged the paper bag with the plush tightly to her chest and closed her eyes to hide the trembling in her pupils.
Something felt strange.
So strange.
For the first time in her life, an indescribable exhilaration and ticklishness gripped her heart and tormented it.
If it had been a stranger’s breath, she would have hated it and found it disgusting, to the point that just imagining it made her skin crawl.
But even with Kaoru’s hot breath settling over her head, Ai didn’t hate it at all.
Instead, she summoned the courage to lift her head a little more and look up at Kaoru’s sharp jawline.
"......!"
When Kaoru’s gaze seemed to drift downward—
Ai immediately lowered her head again like a child who had done something wrong and hugged the paper bag even tighter.
It was strange.
She wanted to ask if he was okay, but the words wouldn’t come out, as if caught in her throat.
Even when she wanted to look up, it was hard to raise her head and meet Kaoru’s eyes.
Even as Kaoru’s body brushed against hers little by little, and now his face was only about a finger’s width away—
Far from hating it, she felt dizzy, as if she were the only one walking a precarious tightrope through this eternal moment.
"Bear with it a little. We’re about to open the doors here."
When the boy’s small, low voice came like a whisper at her ear, Ai couldn’t help but flinch.
Her hearing struggled to tell Kaoru’s voice apart from the sound of her own heartbeat.
The moment that ticklish feeling touched the ear where the boy’s voice had softly settled—
it turned into a jolt, racing down the back of her neck, over her shoulders, through her chest and spine, and all the way to below her navel in an instant.
Crush-
The paper bag she was holding crumpled, and the plush inside was squashed flat.
Ai squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the faint tremble of her body as she nodded.
- This stop is...
Kaoru let out a low breath and said to Ai in a quiet voice, "Ai, get ready to get off."
"......"
"Ai?"
"...Y-yeah? Huh? S-sorry—I didn’t hear you."
Her face was a little flushed, as if she felt stifled, and her breathing was uneven.
Her sparkling eyes had nowhere to settle, darting this way and that to avoid the boy’s gaze.
Seeing that Ai didn’t look well, Kaoru looked at her face and said, "Are you okay? Are you feeling cramped?"
"N-no— I’m fine! I think I’m just a little tired. I’m, I’m okay thanks to you, Kaoru."
"Really? Just bear with it a little longer. We’ll be getting off soon."
"Y-yeah."
As Ai nodded in reply, Kaoru turned his gaze to the window and watched the familiar scenery rush by.
They would be arriving at the station soon.
Just as Kaoru expected, about ten seconds later the train gradually slowed.
Screeeech-
Rattle-
The heavy train slowly came to a stop, and at last the doors opened.
It was still the middle of summer, so the sticky summer air rushed in through the doors.
But it was far better than the stale air inside the train, which had grown stuffy despite the air conditioning because there were so many people packed inside.
Ai hugged the badly crumpled paper bag tightly and quickly stepped out through the open doors, getting off the train.
Only then did Kaoru finally let the tension out of his body and breathe a sigh of relief.
His neck and shoulders ached from holding himself tense the whole time, but he didn’t show it at all, not wanting to worry her, and met Ai’s eyes as she looked at him with a still-slightly-red face and smiled.
"Get home safe."
"......"
When had the paper bag gotten so battered?
Kaoru ignored the question that flashed through his mind and waved.
There was a hint of moisture in those sparkling, starlike eyes.
Ai kept opening and closing her mouth as if she had something to say, then finally let out a long breath and, with [sincerity] filling her whole expression, bloomed into a fresh smile like the blue summer sky and waved back.
"I’ll text you! Kaoru!"
"Yeah."
"Today was really— unforgettable! Thank you."
"Don’t mention it. I’m glad you know that."
Ding-ding-ding-
The warning signal that the doors were about to close rang through the station.
People who had missed the train hurried up and squeezed inside.
Ai, who had kept waving, soon couldn’t take her eyes off Kaoru, who was also giving her a small wave from inside the train after the doors closed.
I don’t want to part with him.
I don’t want to part with him.
I don’t want to leave him.
Ai tried hard to ignore the words that kept shouting in her head, but the feeling of reluctance that she couldn’t hide slowly faded her smile and made her press her lips together.
I don’t want to part with Kaoru.
The train slowly moved forward.
Kaoru, waving from inside, gradually receded into the distance.
Ai also slowly began walking, waving after the train as it moved away from Kaoru.
Kaoru gave her that usual indifferent smile and then lowered his hand.
But he didn’t look away.
He kept his eyes fixed on Ai until the very end.
Ai couldn’t catch up to the increasingly fast train and stopped walking, watching it leave.
But those starlit eyes of hers were still fixed on the train that had already gone far away.
I want to stay with him.
As if water were rising, a deep sense of regret filled her heart and finally overflowed, coloring her emotions.
Like a [miracle], where a single drop falls into a deep, dark sea whose depths can’t even be measured and turns that sea into something brilliant and colorful.
The dark world she had lived in was slowly changing color because of the boy—
Feeling that change, she hugged the plush inside the paper bag tightly and said in a quiet voice, "I already miss you..."
On one hot night in July, the girl’s voice, filled with longing, rode the wind and flew high into the sky before scattering away.
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