A columbarium in a quiet suburban area on the outskirts of Tokyo.
Kaoru parked his car in the lot, turned off the engine, and got out.
He pulled a black baseball cap low over his head and put on black horn-rimmed glasses with no lenses before slowly walking into the columbarium.
A cool autumn breeze brushed across his face.
The four-story, building-style columbarium had a neat exterior, as if reflecting a culture that did not fear cemeteries and instead preferred to be laid to rest in expensive columbaria or graves.
But Kaoru paid the exterior no mind.
After his twin younger brother died, coming here had been...
"...."
For the first time.
Since it was midday on a weekday, there were almost no people around, making the columbarium very quiet.
The place where Kaoru, who had been walking slowly, suddenly stopped was in front of one urn.
An urn with the name and birth and death years written on it, a small framed photo of his twin younger brother, [Hikaru Kamiki], placed beside it, and dust-covered floral tributes that looked as though the chief secretary had already brought them long ago.
A boy with the same face Kaoru had at around fifteen.
The bright, smiling face of his twin younger brother had been frozen in time, about sixteen years ago.
And yet Kaoru showed not the slightest trace of pity or sorrow in his eyes.
Only—silently.
He simply stood there for a long time, motionless at the place where his twin younger brother’s ashes were interred.
"...."
Suddenly.
At that villa in Tanzawa.
Even if he had gone to the trouble of knocking his younger brother unconscious, or even broken all of his limbs so he could be made to pay for his crimes while still alive—
...and even if he thought about it that way.
'I don't know.'
To him, whose memories of his previous life were chaotic and full of ash-gray haze, and whose childhood memories were incomplete after he fell down the stairs and was injured in this life, imagining a hypothetical "what if" even in the realm of imagination was an act with no real value.
Even now, his evaluation of and feelings toward his twin younger brother had not changed in the slightest.
However, there was one thing.
One question he wanted answered.
"Do you still... want to kill me?"
What the thirty-one-year-old [Kaoru Kamiki], father of four and husband to one woman, wanted to hear from the fifteen-year-old [Hikaru Kamiki] was...
"Do you still... still feel that way?"
A cold voice with not even a trace of warmth.
And yet, deep blue eyes reflected in the glass held countless emotions.
The only thing he could do while waiting for an answer that would never come back was...
simply stand there and stare at his twin younger brother’s photo.
Before long, a little while later, Kaoru, who had been walking out after looking at his twin younger brother’s columbarium, stopped for a moment.
"Hm?"
"...!"
The young black-haired man wearing glasses looked at Kaoru in surprise for a moment.
Even though he was wearing a cap and glasses, the young man seemed to recognize him at a glance. He scratched his head for a moment, then bowed politely.
Kaoru had clearly not expected to run into him here either, and blinked his blue eyes once in surprise.
What an incredible coincidence.
Feeling genuine delight at this unexpected person he had met in an unexpected place, he approached the young man with his usual warm smile and extended a hand first.
"Taiki-kun! I never thought I’d see you here. How have you been?"
Taiki-kun. Himekawa Taiki accepted Kaoru’s handshake politely, with proper manners, unlike his usual self, who was as sluggish as a snail soaked in a hangover.
That was only natural, considering Kaoru was a senior from [Rararai Theater Troupe], and also a senior in the industry and the most famous, most skilled actor around.
"...Yes. I’ve been well. Kamiki-senpai."
Taiki showed none of his usual languid manner of speaking, where he mixed in casual contractions and answered carelessly in a sleepy voice.
If Akane had seen this, she would have been shocked, thinking, 'So he hasn’t had his social skills erased to the minimum after all—'
But for Kaoru and Taiki, that kind of over-the-top tension or conversation did not suit them at all.
Kaoru smiled at the young man and lightly patted his shoulder before letting go of the handshake.
Then, pointing at the columbarium he had just come out of, he asked in a quiet voice,
"Did you come to pay respects to someone?"
"Yes.... My mother’s urn is interred on the second floor... Her memorial day is coming up soon, so I came to pay my respects in advance...."
"I see. The Himekawa family is here too.... Well, my younger brother’s urn is interred on the first floor as well. It was his memorial day recently... but I’ve been busy, so I haven’t been able to come much."
"Ah... yes."
Taiki finished his answer awkwardly but not uncomfortably, then lifted his dark eyes and stared at the columbarium building.
His dark eyes briefly caught the autumn sunlight and glinted like obsidian.
Now that he had learned for the first time that the remains of someone he knew were interred here, Taiki turned his head and looked at Kaoru.
Then he immediately bowed and said,
"Thank you for meeting me. I should be going now, Kamiki-senpai."
"Ah. Well... hey, Taiki-kun!"
"...Yes?"
Kaoru called out to Taiki, who had turned to leave coolly.
For some reason, he felt reluctant to let this young man go and a little hollow inside, so he pointed toward the parking lot and said,
"Did you drive here yourself?"
"No. I don’t have a car yet, so I took the train..."
"Then why don’t you ride with me? I’ll give you a lift."
"......Uh... that..."
"Haha, don’t feel pressured. We’re in the same troupe, aren’t we?"
Taiki hesitated for a moment while looking at Kaoru, whose smile was as clear and warm as the autumn sun, then bowed politely to him.
"Thank you, senpai."
. . .
Taiki sat in the passenger seat, and Kaoru sat in the driver’s seat.
Taiki was usually not very talkative and had a strong tendency to do things at his own pace, but he could continue light, everyday conversation with Kaoru without difficulty.
Since the day they met at the child welfare center, Kaoru, who had been almost inactive in troupe activities, had been able to talk with Taiki a lot.
"The kids were really happy once the dormitory building was finished. Each of them finally got their own bed."
"Really? That’s good news."
Kaoru smiled with satisfaction and nodded.
For Kaoru, who had used all of the inheritance from his biological father to establish a welfare scholarship foundation, it was an especially welcome piece of news.
After learning that Director Toshiro had been secretly supporting the child welfare center where Taiki had lived, he had decided to help him as well and begin supporting the center in earnest.
That effort had fortunately borne fruit.
"Is filming difficult? The stage and the camera are very different, aren’t they?"
"Yes.... It’s very different from what I expected, but there’s a lot to learn. At first I was a little confused about things like eye line and breath control in front of the camera, but I’ve adapted well now."
"Haha, you’ve done well on your own, Taiki-kun."
"...Thank you, senpai. Um... I’m also watching [The Bird in the Cage]. I learn a lot from it when I watch."
The two of them also chatted lightly about broadcast work.
"The season of [Sea of Loss] is almost over too, isn’t it?"
"Yes."
"Time really flies. Once you prepare for the season, rehearse, and then really get into it... a month feels like yesterday."
"...The director says similar things often too."
"Haha, right. He’s gained weight since the beginning of the season. By now, he’d probably be at the point where he’s neglecting his beard and saying, 'Don’t let your guard down, you lot. Pick up the pace.'"
"...!"
At Taiki’s surprised look, as if asking how he knew that, Kaoru gave a snort of laughter and silently turned the wheel.
So-called—the experience of a senior who has been around the block.
Anyway, the two of them exchanged trivial, small talk about troupe matters in a dry, quiet conversation, without any over-the-top tension or fake familiarity.
The more Kaoru talked with Taiki, the more strangely comfortable and familiar he felt with him.
That was partly because they had never spent such a long time talking one-on-one before.
"Thank you for giving such a good performance with our Aqua, Taiki-kun. Aqua must have learned a lot from you too."
"...Not at all. I’ve learned a lot from being with Aqua-kun as well. His sincerity... and his passion for acting are outstanding within the troupe."
"Hmm-hmm. I see."
While listening to Taiki’s answer, Kaoru suddenly realized something and had to press his lips together for a moment.
Maybe he was overthinking it.
Taiki was a boy who had lost his parents and entered a child welfare center from a young age.
In that case, asking about his own son Aqua might be rude to Taiki.
They were senior and junior in the troupe, but before that, Aqua was Kaoru’s own son—
Bringing up a topic like this on the way back from visiting his deceased mother, whether he meant it that way or not, might be... to Taiki...
"...If I tell him to rest, he’ll openly complain together with Akane-nyan about it so much that he’s 'very' passionate. Sometimes it feels like getting burned, but I’m learning from him properly."
"Hahaha. I-is that so?"
Kaoru answered Taiki, who was revealing the subtle complaints he had been harboring inside with his black eyes shining behind his glasses, with an awkward laugh.
Maybe his worry had been needless after all. Kaoru quietly turned on the left turn signal and merged into the first lane.
"...."
Taiki stared blankly for a moment at the large supermarket located beyond the front of the driver’s seat.
Then, after a while, he seemed to sink into thought about something.
His dark eyes moved restlessly here and there through the air.
"...Senpai."
"Hm?"
Just then the light changed, and Kaoru turned the wheel to make a left turn.
There wasn’t much time left to talk, since Taiki’s mansion was not far away, so Kaoru reacted immediately to Taiki’s call.
The black eyes behind the black-rimmed glasses turned toward Kaoru.
Those eyes were much softer than when they first met.
Kaoru suddenly felt a strange sense of familiarity at the look in those eyes behind the glasses.
"Sometimes... don’t you want to see them?"
A question is something you ask in order to hear an answer.
And yet, knowing he would not get the answer he wanted, Kaoru still asked the question toward the brother in the framed photo.
Was that the same for Taiki, who had gone to visit his mother?
Even though a long time had passed, the desire to hear an answer had not changed.
As Kaoru’s reply was delayed for a moment, Taiki looked at the view of the large supermarket in the side mirror beyond the passenger-side window.
As the car moved farther away, the supermarket soon disappeared behind another building.
"...."
A young boy and a woman who seemed to be his mother walked into the supermarket hand in hand.
"It’s not so much that I want to see them... as that I have a lot I want to ask. Even though it’s all already in the past...."
His voice was quiet. Yet Taiki, sensing the many complicated emotions in it, spoke in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible.
"I’m not really sure, senpai."
"...."
Taiki’s black eyes soon withdrew their gaze and turned toward the road ahead, where the car was racing forward.
Buildings, pedestrians, cars.
Everything moved forward.
Even now, they were driving ahead in the car—but the feeling that he was still walking in place inside the past kept lingering.
"...I don’t know anymore whether I want an answer, or whether I truly want to see them and miss them."
"...."
Kaoru could not answer.
"I... am I doing okay?"
Somewhere between a murmur and a question.
It had started as a journey to meet the younger brother who had tried to kill him, but at the end of that journey, Kaoru had ended up facing the question of a young man.
In the end, he could not answer that young man’s question at all.
Bright sunlight poured into the passenger-side window from the clear blue sky.
Taiki, taking that sunlight into his eyes, remained quietly silent, as if the conversation they had just had meant nothing.
-
"...I’m sorry for causing trouble, senpai. Thanks to you, I got home comfortably. Thank you."
After getting out in front of the mansion where he lived, Taiki bowed politely and expressed his thanks.
Kaoru nodded with a smile.
"No, it’s the senior’s job to help a junior. Thanks to you, I had a good time too after a long while."
"...Yes. ...Then I’ll be going in now, senpai."
After bowing again and turning to go home, Kaoru somehow felt like calling Taiki back once more.
"Taiki-kun!"
"...?"
Because he had walked a few steps away, his face was a little farther than before, but Taiki’s puzzled expression was still clearly visible.
Kaoru smacked his lips for a moment, then smiled his usual warm smile and said to the young man,
"If anything difficult comes up, don’t hesitate to tell me. If it’s something I can help with, anything is fine. I’m your [senior], after all."
"...Yes. Thank you."
"Good. Get home safely."
"...."
For the first time—
The young man, whose mouth was always vague and barely visible, gave a smile.
But then, as if embarrassed, Taiki unconsciously erased the smile, lowered his head, turned around, and walked away.
Kaoru watched Taiki’s back until it disappeared into the mansion.
It was not simply pity for someone who had lost his parents and spent an unhappy childhood.
Something beyond that. Some indescribable sensation kept drawing his heart toward Taiki.
From the first time they met, until now.
"Haa...."
Kaoru forced himself to ignore the thoughts growing complicated in his head and stepped on the accelerator.
-
"Kaoru."
"...Mm."
"Puhuhu—hey, I want to go to the bathroom?"
"...."
It was the dead of night, when all the babies were asleep, but the biggest baby of all still had no intention of letting go of him.
The child lifted her brilliant starry eyes and looked at her husband’s face, his eyes closed as he quietly steadied his breathing.
Because he was backlit by the soft glow of a standing lamp, his expression was hard to make out—but...
the time they had spent together had taught them to understand each other’s feelings just by listening to each other’s breathing.
And yet, even this time.
Because she trusted her husband, loved him, and relied on him...
Instead of a "question," she chose "understanding."
The child chose to hug her husband tightly rather than interrogate him about it, and until she felt the need to go to the bathroom, her husband, receiving her embrace, let his slightly quickened heartbeat and breathing return to normal.
'Maybe... I have talent after all?'
The child’s starry eyes shone as she removed her right arm from around her husband’s back and placed her hand on his cheek.
Feeling his wife’s warm, gentle touch, Kaoru opened his closed eyes and looked at her.
In fact, he had not told his wife that he had gone to the columbarium during the day.
She only thought he had gone to lunch with Director Rentaro.
Once again, Kaoru felt terrible about having to lie to his wife. But it had been unavoidable.
There had been the unpleasant residue of the nightmare, and Kaoru at least did not feel the slightest trace of "longing" for his younger brother.
Without any feeling of "longing," there was no reason to go see the dead, and in fact he had never once gone to the columbarium during all that time, so it would not be easy to bring it up suddenly.
That he had had a ridiculous nightmare, and in that nightmare his younger brother had put her and the babies in grave danger...
And that he had woken up without being able to save them in the end.
He had no intention whatsoever of saying any of that out loud.
He did not want to cause his wife even the slightest worry, but after encountering the identity unknown [girl], that feeling had only grown stronger.
He wanted her to be happy at all times.
Because he could not allow his beloved wife to feel worry or anxiety over something that was his own business.
Greed, stubbornness... perhaps even a paranoid fixation, but Kaoru was prepared to endure anything if it meant protecting his family.
"Ai."
"Mm~?"
"Will you stroke my hair?"
"Hee—★ Really? You want me to pet you?"
"...Yeah."
"Puhuh—our Oru-chan wanted to be spoiled? Okay! There~ there~ our big baby~ I’ll give the good baby a reward~♥"
As she slowly stroked his soft, abundant blond hair, Kaoru’s blue eyes shone with even deeper starlight.
The healing and comfort given by his wife’s small, warm hand were like a [miracle].
A [miracle].
To him, who had been born again carrying the memories of a previous life—a burden that would not be an exaggeration to call a [curse]—
it was a precious [miracle] that had once again given him the joy and hope of living.
"Ai."
"Mm~?"
"I love you. I always... love you very much. Ai."
At her husband’s whisper, full of sincerity, Ai blossomed into a smile full of shyness and happiness.
"Whaaat—! Puhuh—yeah~ Our baby Kaoru~ I love you too—so, so much—♥"
With her hand stroking his hair—
Kaoru felt a pleasant drowsiness slowly creeping over him.
His eyelids, filled with calm, gradually closed.
"Heh—"
Thinking of the times when she put the babies to sleep, Ai kept his gradually drifting-off face fully in her brilliant starry eyes.
Before long, her husband fell asleep, breathing in a steady, quiet rhythm.
Ai slowly stroked his cheek, then moved her hand to his broad back and patted him.
She did want to go to the bathroom.
But...
"Sleep well, Kaoru."
Ai decided to stay by her husband’s side just a little longer.
With the hope that—
he would have a good dream.
Damn it man this was the perfect time to learn about his nephew 😢