Baaang!
Mari jerked the wheel and sped back up onto the road.
The bus horn blared from behind them, loud enough to make his ears ring, but she kept her attention fixed on the rearview mirror, trying to identify the pursuer tailing them.
"Keep going straight. Meet me in an hour at that place. I’ll jump off at the end of the bridge. That’s the only way to shake them."
He took a pistol from the glove compartment on the passenger side, pulled the slide back a little, and checked that a round was chambered.
Mari kept glancing between the rearview mirror and his face, her expression a jumble of confusion, fear, and unease.
"What if you’re wrong?!"
"It’s [Treadstone]."
"───! Don’t shoot. Please, don’t shoot!"
"I warned you! If you don’t leave us alone, I won’t sit still!!"
"…Haa! This will never end like this!"
Even though she knew the whole situation and all the circumstances, Mari still kept trying to persuade him in a tired voice.
"We don’t have a choice."
In the end, he let emotion seep into his words.
It was both a plea not to argue about everything that was about to happen right now, and a firm declaration.
Did she feel his emotions?
For a brief moment, calmness flickered across Mari’s face as all the feelings she had been holding back burst out at once.
"──── No, there is."
All sound vanished except for her voice, and the world fell silent.
Before he knew it, [Ai] was sitting in the driver’s seat instead of Mari, hands on the wheel.
Why was [Ai] here?
His thoughts froze in the face of the incomprehensible phenomenon, and all he could do was stare blankly into her dark, empty eyes, where even the starlight had gone out.
The moment he hesitated, trying to focus on her and the words she would say next—
Bang ─── !
A bullet pierced her neck.
He couldn’t even tell whether the one shot was Mari or [Ai].
With her head hanging low and her body slack, he could do nothing at all. He could only watch, helplessly… helplessly.
Thud!
Crash!
The car slammed into the guardrail and plunged toward the deep, dark water beneath the bridge.
-
"Haa… haa… haa… haa…!"
His whole body burned like a furnace.
His entire body, face included, was slick with sweat.
Breathing harshly, Kaoru moved on instinct, trying to tell whether this moment of waking was a dream or reality.
"Kkh… u- huu…"
He sat up in bed, waiting for the headache and the hallucinations shaking his mind to fade.
It was still before dawn.
Maybe it had rained earlier in the morning; through the slightly open window, a cold dawn breeze carried in the damp smell of earth.
He opened and closed his right hand repeatedly, trying to sharpen his senses and drag himself out of the aftereffects of the nightmare.
…It had been two years.
"Damn it…"
Rubbing his temples against the dull ache, Kaoru clenched his teeth hard enough to feel them crack and muttered a curse under his breath.
In his past life—from the moment he opened his eyes in the morning until the moment he closed them at night. And then, when forgotten memories and the death of the woman he loved tangled together so violently that the sound of thunder seemed to tear every sense apart, waking him in the middle of the night.
At every single moment, he had regretted it and prayed.
If only, if only—if only he had been the one in the driver’s seat. If only he had noticed something sooner. If only he had told her to keep a closer eye on the rear and prepare for the possibility of trouble…
If only, when they first met in Germany, he hadn’t asked her for a ride and gotten into her car…
"……"
When he lifted his bowed head—
A CD collection with [Ai]’s handwritten autograph caught his eye on one corner of the bookshelf.
A one-of-a-kind CD in the world, with his name written on it by her own hand and a rabbit drawn beside it.
She had even offered to sign bromides and posters, but Kaoru had been the one to stop her.
Comforting her disappointment, he had told her that a CD with her [sincerity] in it was more than enough.
But when he realized that Ai wanted to do so many things for him, Kaoru finally felt a hopeful joy, as if he had truly begun to melt into this world.
And as the time they spent together kept piling up, he felt a responsibility to protect that smile every time he saw Ai’s smile changing day by day with [sincerity].
The bloodstained memories of his past life. This life, where he had nearly died pointlessly with his head shattered, unable to do anything.
Recalling his own [secret—fate—] that he could never tell anyone, he resolved that no matter what trial came, no matter what sacrifice it took, he would protect the small [happiness] granted to [Kaoru Kamiki] in this everyday life.
He had lived every moment with that vow in his heart.
That was all.
And yet… why had he dreamed of [Mari] turning into [Ai] and looking at him like that?
It was the first time.
He had never experienced anything like it in either life, so he was utterly confused.
"…Ha."
Why now, after two years?
Was it guilt, forgotten because he had been greedy enough to try to live an ordinary life?
Or was it because he missed the dead woman?
Was God refusing to forgive him for running away from that terrible sin?
Or was it because, just like in his past life… he was afraid he would lose a [precious person] because of himself?
He didn’t know the reason, but it was definitely not a good sign.
The unpleasant premonition that surged in after waking from the dream.
The mental strain that came rushing back two years after he had recalled his past life was not something to take lightly.
But he knew this much: if he let himself become any more confused here, it would only expose his weak spots and keep tormenting him without end.
Having made up his mind, Kaoru quickly pulled off his sweat-soaked shirt.
He slowly steadied his breathing, splashed water on his face to hold himself together as much as possible, and forced his trembling legs to move toward the bathroom.
-
On a dark night, a girl wearing a cap pulled low, a black jumper, and a black mask so no one would recognize her arrived at [Wadakura Fountain Park] and looked around.
Only a few people were out walking under the lights of the scattered streetlamps around the park.
He still hadn’t arrived.
She fiddled with her phone and thought about texting him, but—
"…Sigh, no matter how I think about it, I feel like I’m texting too much!"
At some point, she had realized that she kept sending messages to Kaoru whenever she had the chance, unable to stop herself.
Worried that Kaoru might come to dislike being contacted, she had decided to cut back on her texts, but Ai’s fingers itched so badly she could hardly endure it.
The only positive thing was that even thinking about controlling herself like this was already a huge step forward.
Impulsive urges to just do whatever she wanted kept surging up inside her, but Ai held them back with superhuman patience.
The reason was simple. She was afraid Kaoru might hate it.
Ever since that summer in July, Ai had found time to track down every drama Kaoru had appeared in and watched them all. She had even bought every commercial he had been in, and every magazine that interviewed him during the drama’s broadcast, reading them carefully several times over.
Her obsessive attention to everything he did had only grown, and with it her desire to share her entire daily life with Kaoru, if possible, had increased exponentially.
Since this was her first time ever feeling something like this, Ai was so confused that she was afraid of how suddenly she herself had changed.
She recalled a conversation she had once had with PD Kaburagi Masaya.
"A restaurant?"
"Yes, a restaurant! Somewhere nice for two… for a friend, I mean—like a place or a restaurant that’s good for eating together!"
"Hmm… let me think."
Every time they met, Kaoru paid for everything. Spending time eating with Kaoru was beyond pleasant and happy.
But Ai also wanted to treat Kaoru to delicious food at a nice restaurant!
Her schedule had grown busier and the group had become more famous, so the salary she received from the agency had gone up a bit too!
The money she saved was for moments exactly like this★
With that cheerful thought, she had gone online to search.
But then she realized something.
"Kaoru… he’s way too famous now!"
After that magazine interview, public interest in Kaoru had become so intense that the restaurants Kaburagi Masaya recommended… didn’t have private rooms.
She didn’t know much about the complicated ecology of the entertainment world, but Ai understood this one thing very well.
If other people—especially reporters—saw or recognized her together with Kaoru, it could lead to a huge problem because of absurd misunderstandings.
Wasn’t that why that stingy sunglasses-wearing president kept emphasizing it over and over?
Going on about the proper behavior expected of an [idol].
Ai puffed out her cheeks, then let out a long breath.
Her online research had shown that upscale restaurants with private rooms were outrageously expensive.
But she didn’t want to take him somewhere half-baked either.
She just wanted to eat with Kaoru, talk with him, and be with him in a place with a good atmosphere and a nice feel.
That desire, too, was something she never could have imagined before meeting Kaoru.
"……Mm~ how strange."
Ai suddenly looked up at the night sky and thought carefully about what Kaoru had become to her.
The first meeting had been [admire].
The second meeting, arranged for acting practice, had been [newness].
And as time passed and they kept meeting again and again—
The time she spent with Kaoru had changed into [daily life] and [happiness].
She had never even managed to make a proper friend she could confide in, and had always stood apart from the world, shouting [lie]s of [love].
She had never dreamed she would ever end up waiting for someone and wanting to see them this badly.
What exactly was this feeling?
Could it be that this was the feeling called [love], the one she had revered and longed for more than [life] itself, the one she had thought was farther away than the stars in the night sky and beyond her reach?
"……"
But she didn’t even know what [love] was, so she had no courage to make a judgment on her own.
Wasn’t [love] only real once you had the courage to convey your [sincerity] through [words]?
Even when she told fans every day as an [idol] that she [loved] them, there was not even one gram of [sincerity] in those words.
Even after all those [lies], there were still endless fans who loved her.
So if she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word [love] when thinking of Kaoru, then this was definitely not [love].
"…Right! Maybe it’s because he’s a [friend]… ugh… no. I don’t want to think about this… but… ugh…"
Ai stuffed her hands in her pockets and spun around in place, trying to soothe the tangled mess in her head.
She didn’t know.
There was no answer at all.
Calling it only [friendship] felt wrong—something about it was deeply unpleasant and irritating and hateful.
Kaoru probably had [friends] other than me, of course!
…Huh?
Then did that mean Ai was just one ordinary [friend] circling around Kaoru?
She absolutely hated that. Absolutely!
But even so— even so…
Waaah! I don’t know! This is my first time, okay!
Even as countless selves—Ai A, Ai B, and Ai C—rose up one after another to protest and gave her a headache, she had no one she could comfortably ask for advice, so she could only bury it in her heart and groan over it alone for minutes on end.
To anyone watching, it was enough to make them worry that the sidewalk blocks beneath her spinning feet might wear away completely.
She was already famous for having a wide stride that didn’t care much about others, and once she picked up speed, she started spinning even faster!
"…I thought it was you from far away. Why are you spinning around like that?"
"Eek!"
"……"
Like a startled rabbit, Ai jumped and stared at Kaoru with wide eyes.
Kaoru was actually the one who had been startled, but worried that attention might be drawn this way, he quietly raised his right index finger to his lips and said,
"Ai."
"Ah! Mmph!"
"……"
Like a little kid told by a teacher to keep quiet, Ai clapped both hands over her mouth and blinked her starlit eyes.
Kaoru couldn’t hold back his laughter at the sight.
"You scared me."
"…~! !@#"
"You can take your hands off now, Ai. Luckily, no one saw."
"Haa—! You were late, Kaoru! I’ve been waiting forever!"
Natural, familiar, intimate.
Matching each other’s pace, they began talking while enjoying their nighttime meeting.
"Sorry. Some foreign tourists kept asking me where the hotel was."
"Again! Kaoru, helping foreign people find their way is more important than your promise with Ai, right? You knew I’d be waiting here the whole time, no matter how long it took!"
"Ah, sorry, sorry. That was my bad. Cheer up."
"Mm…!!!"
She folded her arms and glared at him with fierce starlit eyes, clearly full of things she wanted to say, but this utterly impossible girl suddenly broke into a grin, flashed a wink, and threw him a peace sign.
"Dummy-Oru. Fooled you, didn’t I? Ai wasn’t mad! I got a little lost on the way too★"
"…Ha. You’ve gotten pretty skilled at that."
Striding forward with the famously long, inconsiderate steps she was known for, Ai moved ahead of Kaoru and then walked backward to face him.
The boy, who like her wore a cap, black mask, and even glasses with no lenses, lowered his mask slightly and smiled with a baby-like innocence at the corners of his mouth.
"Today, Kaoru really looks like a villain."
"…Do I?"
As if mocking the fact that Ai, who was only 151 cm tall, had such a "wide" stride, Kaoru took a long step with his long legs and quickly caught up to her.
In an instant, the distance was closed!
Ai looked visibly flustered, turned back to face forward again, and shot him a thoroughly sulky glare.
"Ai looks like a spy today, though."
"…A spy? Mm… Zero Bond?"
"James Bond."
"Same thing, same thing~ Anyway, that means Ai looks cool, right? Kaoru is… definitely the type who’d do all sorts of bad things, like a villain. Hehe—"
"Sure. I’ll take that as… a compliment."
Because he was wearing a mask, his rotten smile didn’t show, but a woman’s instincts can sometimes be more destructive and sharper than a laser-guided missile.
Ai’s starlit eyes sparkled as she looked at Kaoru.
Those silent eyes seemed to pierce through the mask and read his expression clearly.
Kaoru felt a strong sense of caution today, as if her bouncy, self-centered pace had become especially intense and he might get swept up in it without warning.
So the boy quickly spotted a light truck grilling takoyaki beyond the park and said,
"Speaking of which, want me to buy you takoyaki?"
"Kyaaa★"
Once again reminded of the universal truth that women love delicious late-night snacks, Kaoru hurried after Ai as she ran toward the takoyaki truck.
-
"Nom nom—★"
"……"
A bench tucked deep in the park, where few people passed by.
Before long, autumn had passed its peak and was slowly heading toward the end of the year.
The night air was fairly chilly. Sniffling, Ai was happily spending the moment, nibbling away at the still-hot takoyaki.
Sitting together on the slightly cramped bench and eating takoyaki late at night had a certain charm to it.
"…It tastes better because you bought it."
"Ah! Right? It tastes better because Ai bought it, right?"
"Mm. Well—it’s good."
"Mm~ Kaoru gets to enjoy this satisfying feeling all by himself. That’s unfair. That’s cheating. Warning!"
"Yeah."
Kaoru answered in an indifferent voice and lifted his right hand, gently brushing the flakes of bonito from the corner of Ai’s mouth.
It was clearly a careless touch that seemed to hold no emotion at all.
But Ai, who had been teasing him, froze on the spot, then touched the corner of her mouth and went back to nibbling on her takoyaki skewer.
It was always like this.
Always—always—without changing!
He would casually, suddenly, throw her thoughts into chaos and make her heart feel all tangled up.
Ai still couldn’t understand it.
She had to gather immense courage just to try touching even one fingertip of Kaoru’s, and even then she often failed.
Yet Kaoru seemed to find it easy to place his hand on her body.
If…
The jaw that was chewing on takoyaki stopped for a moment.
Her eyes trembled faintly like fallen leaves shaking in the autumn wind.
"…Ai, want the rest of mine?"
"Huh? Ah, no, I’m fine. Ugh—I wanted to buy you something a little more expensive. I’m not even sure if this suits Kaoru’s taste! If it’s bad, you can throw it away. It was Ai who bought it, after all."
"…?"
Noticing that her mood had changed a little from before, Kaoru quietly watched Ai for a moment, then scratched the bridge of his nose.
He couldn’t possibly be getting sentimental this late, could he?
Kaoru looked at the remaining takoyaki for a moment, then stabbed two pieces at a time with the skewer and stuffed them into his mouth, chewing exaggeratedly.
"?"
"Mm."
Ai stared at him with a puzzled look, surprised by his suddenly different appetite.
Ignoring that, Kaoru chewed and swallowed the takoyaki, then nodded.
"It’s good."
"……"
"I wouldn’t care even if you bought me a 50-yen candy marble. It’s food made with your [sincerity]. Why would I throw that away?"
"Kaoru."
"I’d eat even a whole truckload, so don’t say things like it’s okay to throw it away."
"…I-I won’t. Next time… I didn’t mean it like that, sorry."
"If you’re sorry, buy me something better later. Since I enjoyed it."
Kaoru didn’t notice that the girl’s ears had turned bright red. He set the empty takoyaki box down beside him and looked out at the Tokyo nightscape.
Was he looking at the night view, or chasing some distant [past]?
With his blurred eyes lifted toward the sky, Kaoru spoke in a quiet voice.
"Honestly, I get a kick out of buying you tasty food, Ai."
"……Eh-??? How is that a kick?"
Ai shot him a suspicious look up and down, as if she were seeing a strange person all over again, but Kaoru only gave a small laugh and said,
"Because I feel full just from looking at you? Hmm… I can’t really explain it well. Anyway, yeah. You’re the only person who makes me want to spend the [money] I’ve earned and saved up without holding back, Ai. The only one."
"…Ah."
"When I give things to that person, no matter the amount, they’re genuinely happy. That makes it worthwhile. You’re the only one who makes earning money feel worthwhile... hah. Saying it out loud makes me sound a little weird. Anyway—what I mean is, nothing is too good for you, and nothing is too much to spend on you. I even want to feed you a lot of good food and put some weight on you. You’re way too skinny."
"Hngh—"
At Kaoru’s words, the heat that had finally settled in her face surged back up to the top of her head.
If it hadn’t been night, she would definitely have been in serious trouble from how red her face had become.
Ai stuffed the last takoyaki into her mouth and chewed to calm herself down, then set the box aside and, after stealing a glance at Kaoru, asked,
"…But why me? Why don’t you spend it on your parents?"
"Yeah. I haven’t seen their faces in a while. It’s complicated. The Kamiki family situation. I’m still a minor, so there are a lot of things that need a guardian’s consent. I even brought my father’s seal because I was going to use it. He didn’t care at all."
"……"
"Anyway, the conclusion is this: whatever food you buy me, I’ll eat it happily."
Ai could only look away, reacting awkwardly to Kaoru’s teasing smile.
The fact that she still didn’t know his circumstances.
The fact that she still hadn’t been able to tell him her own.
She wanted to take one step closer, but she still didn’t have the courage.
And yet—she felt a rising desire to embrace even the dark side of Kaoru completely.
She wanted to become the one and only [existence] who would stay by his side when he was struggling and in pain.
Ai forced her pounding heart to settle.
Bringing up the story of the [past] was never going to be pleasant.
But if she could reveal even a fragment of it—
She wanted to show that she, too, was a [companion] who carried the same kind of pain as Kaoru.
"I… I don’t have… parents either…"
"……"
Kaoru, who had gone still, turned to look at Ai.
Ai’s eyes had already lost their light, and as if chasing a [past] that could no longer be reached, just like the one he had seen before—
She began to speak in a dark voice.
"I… I can’t… tell you everything right now… But… I want to be someone like Kaoru, someone who can give without holding back and feel that it’s worthwhile. Even if it’s not family. I want to be someone who brings joy to others. No matter how expensive the food or the things are—if they smile and say thank you after receiving a gift from me, I think I’d be happy with that."
"Then I’ll be that person."
"…Huh?"
Kaoru took off his glasses and looked straight at Ai with unwavering eyes.
"We can just be that for each other. That kind of [existence]."
For some reason, Ai suddenly felt as if all the pain and fear she had been carrying just a moment ago were nothing at all.
The instant she met that gaze, the pain that had been stabbing at one corner of her chest vanished as if washed away.
Was this what the unconditional [affection] of a [father] or an [older brother] felt like?
Because the boy’s [sincerity] was so pure, the girl finally felt her heart settle and let out a quiet breath.
"……Mm. Come to think of it, I think Kaoru’s right."
The shadow vanished, and Ai nodded with a small smile.
Seeing that her heart had loosened, Kaoru also relaxed and, arms folded, said with a smile,
"We’ve met pretty often. I’ve probably seen you more than my few school friends, Ai. And texts or calls… outside of work, I think I probably talk to you the most."
"Eh? No way!"
"It’s true. Since the drama shoot ended… nobody talks to me. Well, they didn’t talk to me before either."
"Maybe it’s because Kaoru looks scary, like a villain?"
"…I’ll let that pass."
"Pfft!"
Until the night grew deep and the last train time was about to end, the two of them kept talking on the bench without pause.
Until the brilliant full moon was swallowed by the clouds drifting in from the side.
They laughed and shared all the things they hadn’t been able to say before, not even noticing the passage of time.
And then, the next day began peacefully, just like any other.
In a weekly magazine published by a tiny magazine company and on its website,
A sensational [exclusive romance scandal] was reported, along with a large number of photos of the famous child actor [Kaoru Kamiki] and the popular idol group [B Komachi]’s ace member [Ai] meeting and being photographed together.
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