Chapter 78: Moonlight for This Moth Drawn to Flame! - 5

"D-don’t tell me... he left me behind?"

From the start, Isolde had sensed something strange in Ian’s behavior.

His sudden suggestion that they climb the mountain, and the fact that they were supposed to live here for a while.

Perhaps it had all been so he could abandon her. The thought came to her.

"N-no. That can’t be it."

But Isolde turned away from reality.

Because she had never doubted that Ian would love her.

"He must have gone out for a walk to get some air. Ian will be outside the door. No, he has to be."

She immediately ran outside.

The newly risen sun and the lake reflecting its light formed a beautiful vista, but Isolde had no room to appreciate it.

"Ian? Where are you?! Answer me if you’re there! Answer me!"

Isolde screamed until her throat felt torn apart, but her cries only echoed across the lake.

No one answered her voice.

"Did you leave me? Did you really leave me behind?"

The moment she thought Ian had abandoned her, Isolde collapsed where she stood.

"Because you don’t need me? Because I’m ugly?"

Consumed by despair, Isolde shouted at Ian, who was not here.

"Liar! You said you wouldn’t leave me!"

Isolde resented Ian for abandoning her.

But only for a moment.

Because she remembered the conversation she had shared with Ian yesterday.

"So, are you saying it’s fine to throw away even family if they are useless, Isolde?"

"Ah..."

Because this was exactly what she had intended to do to her younger sister, Isabelle.

She was unnecessary. She was only in the way. So they should throw her away.

That was what Isolde had wanted her mother to do.

If cursed Isabelle disappeared, the entire family would be better off.

"Is this what I wanted? Is this what I said to Isabelle?"

Ian was simply doing the same. He was holding her to the very standard she had used against Isabelle.

Isolde had thought it was an efficient, rational choice.

Yet now that she found herself in the same position as Isabelle, she was resenting him.

"I-I’m sorry, I was wrong. I’m apologizing like this, so please... forgive me."

So this was what it felt like to be abandoned by someone.

Only then did Isolde realize what she had been about to do to Isabelle.

But it was too late for her to realize it.

She had already been abandoned—

"Isolde, what are you doing out here?"

"Ian?"

Ian, who had suddenly appeared, set the firewood in his arms down on the ground and crouched to meet her at eye level.

"Did you have a nightmare? The dawn air is cold, and you might catch a chill. Take my hand and let’s go into the cabin—"

Before Ian could finish speaking, she seized his shoulders with trembling hands, hard enough for her fingertips to turn white.

It was a moment that revealed her obsession with Ian.

"W-where did you go? Where did you go after leaving me behind?!"

"I think you have misunderstood something. I did not abandon you, Isolde."

"You didn’t leave me?"

"No. I went to chop some firewood because I was worried the chilly dawn air would make you cold."

At Ian’s answer, Isolde said with tears welling in her eyes,

"...Tell me next time. I’m scared when you aren’t here."

"I’m sorry. My thoughtfulness ended up frightening you. From now on, I’ll tell you whenever I go somewhere."

"No. I should be thanking you for looking out for me."

"Let’s go into the cabin now. It’s still chilly outside."

"Okay."

Led by Ian’s hand, Isolde headed straight into the cabin.

At first, she had disliked it because it was such a shabby house, but now it felt different.

Only now could she breathe a sigh of relief.

. . .

For some time, Isolde lived alone with Ian.

As they did, each took on their own duties.

Ian gathered necessities and hunted animals, while Isolde took care of the housework.

It feels just like we’re newlyweds.

Though she was not good at cooking, Isolde worked as hard as she could to cook for Ian.

And every time, Ian ate it appreciatively.

"This is delicious."

"Really?"

"Yes. It tastes like Adelia’s cooking."

"Yeah, I tried copying Mom’s cooking."

"You must have been short on ingredients, yet you did an amazing job. You’ll definitely make a wonderful wife, Isolde."

"C-can I become a good wife too?"

"Yes. I do not know which man you will marry, but your husband will have a happy newlywed life with you."

"..."

But even if it felt like they were newlyweds, they were not actually newlyweds.

Because Ian thoroughly maintained a boundary between himself and Isolde.

Even when Isolde tried to approach him, Ian would subtly pull away.

There really is no room for me to squeeze in.

Having experienced what it felt like to be abandoned, Isolde could no longer be jealous of Isabelle.

And while living with Ian, she came to understand just how unshakable his love for Isabelle was.

I never deserved to be loved in the first place.

Thinking about it now, it was laughable.

At first, she had said she did not want to marry him because he was ugly. But now that he had become handsome, wealthy, and capable, she wanted to become his wife? It was an utterly selfish way of thinking.

If I had married him from the beginning, would Ian have loved me?

Isolde imagined a love she could never receive, entertaining a hypothetical that could never come true.

She might not have received the fervent attention of so many men as she did now, but perhaps she would at least have received this man’s sincere love.

A love that would stay by her side no matter what she looked like.

I want to be loved too. I don’t want to be abandoned.

Only now, after the curse had made her ugly and everyone had turned their backs on her, did Isolde begin to crave love.

Money, circumstances—she no longer needed conditions like those.

She wanted a love that would stay by her side no matter what happened.

I’m such an idiot.

But it was a love that could never come true.

She herself had thrown away her chance to be loved in the first place.

Just as something discarded never returns, a discarded opportunity never comes back.

Just like how his heart had already left her.

"Isolde, I’ll be going out for a while."

"Where are you going?"

"To bring back someone who will love you. We cannot stay here forever."

"That’s true."

At Ian’s words, Isolde thought the inevitable had finally come.

He can’t stay here because of me forever.

Ian was Isabelle’s husband.

From his perspective, it could only be burdensome to live in a place like this while leaving his wife behind.

Especially when that wife was Isabelle, whose appearance had become beautiful, unlike her own.

He doesn’t show it, but Ian must be worried too.

He said he was going to find someone to love her, but in truth, he was surely going to see Isabelle.

Of course, Isolde knew Ian would not abandon her.

Given his personality, he would try to take responsibility for his wife’s older sister. He would probably stop by this cabin from time to time.

But she could not shake the thought that he would gradually come to neglect her.

In the end, she would have to live alone in this cabin for the rest of her life.

Who would ever love a woman like me?

Before Ian could leave, Isolde stopped him.

Then she spoke in a pleading voice.

"Ian, could I ask one last favor before you go?"

"A favor? I’ll do it if it is within my power."

"C-could you kiss me?"

"A kiss?"

"Yeah. I’ll be lonely by myself. At least I want to feel your warmth."

"That is a somewhat difficult request."

At Ian’s answer, Isolde felt as though a sharp awl had pierced her heart.

"Sorry. I guess it would be difficult with a face like this?"

Isolde’s current appearance went beyond ugly; it was repulsive.

Even Isolde herself needed courage to look at her own face.

Ian was the strange one for living with her without letting it show.

"It is difficult because I did not expect you to make such a request. You are not even married yet, Isolde. This might make it hard for you to marry later."

"I think a kiss is fine. And..."

Gathering her courage, Isolde confessed to Ian.

"I can’t see any man other than you now, Ian."

"Think about that after your curse has been cured."

But as always, Ian firmly shut her out.

Tears filled Isolde’s eyes, but she swallowed them back with effort.

"Still, I’ll kiss you."

"...I’m sorry for being so insistent."

"It’s fine. It is not a difficult favor, so do not worry about it."

When Ian stroked her hair, Isolde closed both her eyes.

She had kissed John countless times, yet she had never been this nervous.

My heart feels like it’s going to burst.

As Isolde puckered her lips, all sorts of thoughts ran through her head.

What if Ian found kissing her unpleasant?

Would her breath be all right?

She should not have made such a request and made him uncomfortable.

In that brief moment, Isolde worried that Ian might hate her.

But those worries proved needless.

Smack.

Ian’s lips touched hers.

It was only a simple kiss, their lips pressed together, but Isolde felt an excitement unlike anything she had ever experienced.

I’m so happy.

She was happy.

Happy that there was a man who had kissed her despite her having such a grotesque face.

"Do it a little more."

"You are quite greedy."

"I’m sorry. But I don’t think I can hold back."

"All right."

At Isolde’s request, Ian kissed her again.

He pressed his lips to hers so that she could be satisfied.

I’m sorry.

Chomp.

Unable to restrain herself, Isolde bit down hard on Ian’s lips.

She wanted to leave at least some trace of herself on his lips.

Because this is the last time.

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