Chapter 77: Moonlight for This Moth Drawn to Flame! - 4
Just as Ian had said, the road to the lake was arduous.
The path was uneven, and rocks caught underfoot wherever they stepped.
Isolde would have liked to rest even briefly, but Ian did not stop walking.
Finally unable to bear it any longer, Isolde complained.
"Isn’t there an easier path?"
"There is. But paths like that tend to have monsters on them."
Ian’s answer made Isolde suspicious.
Why is he taking me somewhere so dangerous?
For an instant, anxiety passed through her, but Isolde could not let it show.
"My legs hurt. Could you carry me?"
"We’re nearly there, so please endure it a little longer."
At Ian’s cold reply, Isolde could no longer bring herself to ask him for anything.
It felt as though an invisible wall stood between them.
Like a line she could never cross.
If it were Isabelle, he would have carried her, wouldn’t he?
Isolde hated that thought.
No matter how hard she tried not to, she could not help comparing herself to Isabelle.
How irritating.
Habitually biting her nail, Isolde gazed at Ian with longing in her eyes.
She fell into thought over how she could make him like her.
"We’re here, Isolde."
"This is it?"
When they reached the lake Ian had mentioned, Isolde’s jaw dropped.
A vast lake, reflecting the sunlight, gleamed like a jewel.
"I’ve never seen this much water before."
"It isn’t simply water. It’s holy water."
"All of this is holy water? Then can you perform miracles with it?"
"Ha ha, not unless you’re a nun."
At that, Isolde swallowed her disappointment.
"But it’s different if you receive true love."
"What exactly is true love?"
"According to doctrine, it means love without reason."
As Isolde touched the lake water with her hand, she asked Ian,
"Love without reason? Is that even possible?"
"Who knows? I don’t know much about it either."
"Didn’t you cure Isabelle because you felt true love for her?"
"I did. But it’s hard to say that was entirely by my own will."
Ian spoke while calmly looking at Isolde’s grotesquely transformed face.
"Can love without reason even exist in the first place?"
"I suppose you’re right."
Isolde nodded without realizing it.
She remembered her mother running herself ragged to save her cursed daughter, but Isolde deliberately turned away from that image.
She’s such an idiot.
What if, back then, she had abandoned Isabelle and lavished that affection on her instead?
At least then, they would not have had to live such a difficult life.
Why was I always an afterthought? I’m her daughter too.
Thinking of the mother who had only ever looked after her younger sister, Isolde shed tears of hurt.
"Sorry. It just suddenly got to me."
"It’s all right. More importantly, shall we go to that cabin? It’s the safest place on this mountain."
"That place?"
The cabin Ian led her to was shabbier than Isolde’s own home and looked as if it might collapse at any moment.
"Is it really safe?"
"It’s better inside than it looks from the outside."
Ian entered the cabin. Though reluctant, Isolde followed him.
The cabin’s interior was as shabby as its exterior.
There was only a hearth and a small bed, and the dilapidated roof did not look capable of keeping out rainwater.
"This is where a man betrayed by his wife and a woman abandoned by her family whispered love to each other."
"Did you know them?"
"You probably know them better than I do, Isolde."
Isolde tilted her head at Ian’s incomprehensible words.
Among the people she knew, there was no one who fit his description.
She wanted to ask again, but Ian spoke first.
"And I think it would be best if you stayed here for a while, Isolde."
"All of a sudden? Why do I have to live here?"
"I believe you’ve felt the villagers’ stares as well. They’re worried that your curse may spread to them."
Ian’s expression turned cold.
There was no trace left of his usual gentle demeanor.
"They won’t want you in the village. They may even try to drive you out."
"C-couldn’t you ask the villagers? They all listen to you."
"I may be able to persuade a few of them, but even I cannot persuade the entire village."
"What if I stay inside the house like Isabelle? I won’t go outside."
"Could you endure stones being thrown into your home?"
"Th-that..."
Isolde’s expression stiffened at Ian’s words.
She knew better than anyone what kind of looks the villagers gave her.
"Isabelle and Adelia will be affected too."
At Ian’s point, Isolde could no longer insist.
"How long do I have to stay here?"
"Until your curse disappears."
"Do I have to be here alone?"
"Of course not. I’ll stay by your side as well."
Ian answered as he watched the burning firewood.
Isolde was anxious, but once again, she could not show it.
"If you’re with me, Ian, then I’ll live here too."
"What would you like for dinner?"
"...I want rabbit stew."
"I don’t know whether there are rabbits on this mountain, but I’ll do my best."
And so, Isolde came to stay in the cabin for a while.
. . .
That evening, Isolde did not get to eat rabbit stew.
Ian had hunted a bird rather than a rabbit.
"It isn’t rabbit, but how does it taste?"
"It’s edible."
Isolde was displeased that it was not rabbit, but she was in no position to complain to Ian now.
She needed his love for her curse to be lifted.
This is awkward.
For Isolde, who needed to win Ian’s heart, this sort of atmosphere was not good.
How was I supposed to talk to men again?
She had spent time with many men, but she had never been the one to take the initiative in meeting them.
Even if she did nothing, men captivated by her beauty had come to her on their own.
To begin with, she had never obsessed over a single man as she did now.
She had never learned any art of conversation for winning a man’s heart.
I wish he’d start talking first.
Had Ian noticed what she was feeling? Or had he seen the pitiful expression on her face?
The silent Ian spoke first.
"Since sitting quietly is boring, shall we take this chance to ask each other personal questions?"
"Personal questions?"
"Yes. I don’t think I know much about you, Isolde. Aren’t you curious about me too?"
"I-I am!"
At Ian’s words, Isolde hastily began listing things about herself.
"So, I’m Isolde, I’m twenty-one years old, and I’m still a virgin!"
"Isolde, that wasn’t quite the sort of personal talk I meant."
"S-sorry. I was wrong, wasn’t I?"
"No. It was my fault for explaining it poorly."
After a brief pause, Ian made Isolde a suggestion.
"How about we take turns asking whatever we’re curious about?"
"Ask me. I’ll answer anything."
"This may be a little rude, but..."
Watching Isolde’s reaction, Ian asked,
"How many men have you dated so far?"
"Other than John, I’ve only exchanged a few words with men. And I only dated him for a few months."
"I see. This time, ask me something, Isolde."
"Well..."
Isolde deliberated for a moment.
She wanted to ask what he thought of her, but she could not easily find the courage.
In the end, she asked something else.
"What did you do before you married Isabelle?"
"On the surface, I spent my days hunting."
"On the surface? Was there something else underneath?"
"Let’s just say I was enduring pain."
What kind of pain?
Isolde wanted to know more, but Ian smoothly changed the subject.
"This is another sensitive question, but what do you think of Adelia?"
"My mother? My mother is..."
"You don’t have to answer if it’s difficult."
"No. I can answer. My mother... I hate her. She only ever cares about Isabelle."
"Do you hate your sick younger sister?"
"Is that even a question?"
"Ah, I’m sorry. You can ask me another question next time as well."
"I do. If she had given up on Isabelle sooner, we wouldn’t have needed to live in poverty all this time. Do you know how hard that made things for me?"
"So you mean that even family can be discarded if they’re useless?"
At Ian’s question, Isolde realized her mistake.
She had said Isabelle should have been abandoned in front of the man who loved Isabelle.
Worried that Ian would be disappointed in her, Isolde became frantic.
"D-did that make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry."
"You don’t need to apologize. But I think I know who can give you true love, Isolde."
"What do you mean?"
"It means you don’t need to obsess over me."
Ian smiled as he once again drew a line between them, and Isolde grew desperate.
To find Ian’s weakness, she threw him a question.
"You said earlier that you were enduring pain. What did you mean by that?"
"Before I met Isabelle, I was married to another woman."
"Really?"
It was the first she had heard of it.
He had never once told his in-laws about his past.
At twenty-five, he’s old enough to have children.
There was nothing strange about him having remarried.
"I can’t tell you the details, but my ex-wife was not a good woman."
"What kind of woman was she?"
"She had an affair with another man and passed off the child she bore by him as mine."
Isolde was so shocked by Ian’s story that she covered her mouth with both hands.
It was shocking enough for a married woman to have an affair with another man, but she had even gotten pregnant by him?
For Isolde, an unmarried virgin, it was an especially difficult story to take in.
"Perhaps, in her eyes, I was severely lacking as a husband."
"That’s not true. You’re more than attractive enough as a man, Ian."
The moment Isolde offered him comfort, silence fell, broken only by the crackle of burning wood.
Before long, Ian answered with a bitter smile.
"No. Back then, I was severely lacking. I was ugly, had no money, and had no ability. That’s why I’m grateful to Isabelle."
"Why Isabelle?"
"Because she accepted the love of someone as inadequate as me without any conditions. I think I am who I am today because she was there."
"I-I see."
Ian’s answer made Isolde realize something.
There was no room for her to wedge herself between him and Isabelle.
"There’s one question left. What will you ask?"
"I-I’ll ask it next time."
Isolde clutched her head and rose to her feet.
"I’m going outside for a moment. I feel a little stifled."
"All right. Just don’t go too far."
Having gotten Ian’s permission, Isolde left the cabin.
Before the beautiful lake, she let out the feelings she had been holding in.
"What am I supposed to do now?"
If Ian could not love her, then who would?
.
.
.
.
.
Was it because she was unaccustomed to sleeping alone beneath the same roof as a man?
When dawn came, Isolde’s eyes opened on their own.
Feeling the slightly chilly dawn breeze, she naturally looked for Ian.
"Huh?"
But Ian, who should have been in the cabin, was nowhere to be seen.
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