The reason Gyeongsik had ended up here was simple.
"So you used the Orb of the Red-Eyed Orb to do some PVP, and this is what happened?"
"Exactly."
What kind of place was the world we originally came from that something like this kept happening every time we played Dark Souls?
"Sigh..."
"Why are you sighing?"
"What, am I not allowed to?"
Maybe the world I came from had actually been the twisted one.
That thought crossed my mind.
"...Tch."
"Why are you clicking your tongue at me!?"
Watching Gyeongsik take this so lightly made my tongue click on its own.
Ignoring his absurdly carefree reaction, I turned around, only for the guy to grab my shoulder.
"I have something to give you!"
"What is it?"
"Behold!"
What Gyeongsik showed me was a perfectly ordinary-looking USB drive.
At the sight of that plain little hunk of metal, I was so shocked I grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
"H-How did you get this!?"
"W-Whoa! I just got sent over here from the original world...!"
I’d thought he was in the same situation as me, but his case was completely different.
"Damn it, you lucky bastard...!"
"W-Wait, calm down. You know what’s on here?"
"...What’s on it?"
"Ta-da!"
Gyeongsik, who had been making a show of it with his mouth, pulled out a single picture.
It was the cover of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin.
So this bastard had been carrying that around after saying he’d come here because of Scholar.
"This is what’s inside!"
"...You mean that cursed Scholar?"
"Of course! The Dark Souls you love so much! And among them, the masterpiece everyone praises, Scholar!"
"...Heh."
What kind of scam was this bastard trying to pull?
With that thought, I threw a punch at Gyeongsik.
Thwack!
His head snapped to the side with a satisfying sound.
Seeing that, the others jumped in surprise and grabbed my arm.
"H-Hey, hey! Hieta! What are you doing!?"
"Damn it. Let go of me. I said let go!"
That bastard was recommending cursed trash to me!
He was just trying to screw with me!
"How dare you recommend Scholar to me!?"
"What the hell is your problem!?"
Staggering back to his feet, Gyeongsik asked what the hell Scholar was, sounding deeply wronged.
What was it, he asked?
"Trash that should never have existed in this world!"
Saying that, I snatched the USB from Gyeongsik’s hand, threw it to the floor, and stomped it into pieces.
"I-I just destroyed your limited-edition USB...!"
"I have purged the cursed Scholar!"
With my joy and Gyeongsik’s misery crossing paths, that day’s little incident came to an end.
"So, what is it?"
"Ah, it’s the worst game ever made. The mob placement is garbage, the disgusting [Adaptability] system, the way your character’s interaction speed and invincibility frames during rolls change because of it, the bosses’ cruelty, and so on. It’s just waste. Pure waste."
It was a game that should never have existed.
Dark Souls only exists as 1 and 3!
******
The next day, after Gyeongsik had gone back to the original world in tears.
I woke up groggily, feeling a weight on top of my body.
"Mmm...?"
When I opened my eyes, I saw something strange.
A feast of black and white.
"Mmm...?"
No matter how many times I blinked and looked, what I was seeing didn’t disappear.
Why were long black and white strands sitting on my stomach?
"Ah, it’s a dream..."
How vivid did a dream have to be for me to feel the weight too?
"Ugh, now I’m having weird dreams too..."
Let’s just go back to sleep.
I tipped my head back again and closed my eyes.
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait!!!"
This was not something I could just dismiss as a dream!
I immediately sat up.
Then the two heads that had been on my stomach slid down and settled on my thighs.
"M-Maria and Marina!????"
That’s right.
The owners of those two heads were Maria and Marina.
How had the two people who only existed on my phone suddenly gained bodies and come into reality?
Still dazed, I could only stare at the two of them sleeping peacefully until Maria opened her eyes first.
"Mmm... Hi. Good morning..."
Then Marina followed, opening her eyes and sitting up as well.
"Hi... Good morning..."
Even after their greetings, I did nothing but blink in silence.
"Hm?"
"Huh?"
Since I wasn’t saying anything, the two of them sensed something was off and looked at each other.
Then their heads slowly turned toward me, and screams burst out.
"Kyahhh―!!"
"W-What is this!??"
I understood their reaction.
I’d been shocked too, so there was no reason for them not to be.
Bang!
"What’s going on!?"
Startled by the screaming, Mayuri burst into my room and blinked when she saw Maria and Marina standing there in the flesh.
"Huh? Maria and Marina...?"
"What is it? What’s going on!?"
Then the others came running to my room as well, and for a while, the spirit mansion was anything but quiet.
******
We all gathered in the living room and discussed the situation.
The main topic was why Maria and Marina had been sleeping together on my bed.
No, was that really the important part right now?
"Everyone, aren’t you surprised to see the two of them?"
At my question, Kaguya shook her head.
"Of course not. I’m just very curious why they approached our Yamai’s retainer."
Hearing Kaguya’s words, it felt like I’d been hit on the head.
So the important thing wasn’t that Maria and Marina had gained bodies, but that they’d been on my bed.
Judging from everyone else’s lack of reaction, it seemed nobody except me found this phenomenon strange.
And the two people at the center of it all were casually making breakfast like nothing had happened.
'Is this really right...?'
I started wondering if I was being Truman Showed or something.
Maybe everyone else was an actor, and I was the only one taking the play as reality.
Maybe there was even an audience watching me right now.
With those pointless thoughts in my head, I waited for breakfast to be ready.
"All right, let’s eat."
Maria, who had prepared toast for breakfast, placed it on each person’s plate and handed it out, while Marina made corn salad and distributed that too.
There were also things like bacon.
"............"
It was hard to believe these were the same two people who had been screaming just this morning, but for now I figured they must have something in mind, so I decided to eat.
As I sat in my usual seat, Yoshino immediately sat down beside me as if she’d been waiting for it.
Right after that, Maria took the remaining empty seat beside me.
"Ah."
Marina’s brow furrowed.
"Marina? What’s wrong?"
Maria asked her innocently, as if she truly didn’t understand, and Marina trembled without saying a word.
"That’s why timing matters in life."
Thanks to Maria’s blatant flexing at Marina, Marina’s face turned even redder.
If this kept up, something big was going to happen, so I decided to take emergency measures.
"Yoshino. Would you like to come over here?"
"Y-Yes? Is that okay...?"
At my suggestion, Yoshino asked with wide eyes.
The reason was that "over here" meant on my lap.
"You sat here before, didn’t you?"
"Even so..."
The last time, when Yoshino was still half-asleep and unsteady, I’d eaten breakfast with her sitting on my lap.
There had been a few other times like that too.
So her suddenly acting shy now felt a little odd.
"Then..."
Apparently not intending to refuse, Yoshino slowly climbed up and settled on my thighs.
Everyone stared at her with shocked expressions.
"The quiet cat climbs onto the stove first, huh..."
"So Hii really was a lolicon after all..."
"How bold, Hieta-kun~!"
"Everyone, please stop talking nonsense. Come on, Marina. Sit here."
As Yoshino climbed onto my lap and tapped the empty seat beside me while speaking, Marina went blank for a moment, then muttered in defeat and sat down beside me.
"Seriously, is he really bad with girls?"
"Suspicious. Sometimes his resistance is weirdly high."
"No, aren’t you all a little too jealous of a little kid...?"
Yoshino was only about middle-school age right now!
Why was everyone so jealous of her...?
"H-Hii..."
Yoshino tugged on my sleeve and pointed at the bacon.
"Ah, just a second."
I speared the bacon she pointed at with my fork and brought it over.
"Here you go."
"A-Ah..."
At the sight of Yoshino opening her mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed, everyone else again gaped in disbelief.
"That’s it, Yoshino! Your cuteness is your greatest weapon!"
"Ahem! Ahem!"
Startled by how sudden Yoshino’s behavior was, I cleared my throat a few times and then fed the bacon into her mouth.
And with that came looks of jealousy and envy.
Feeling those stares, Yoshino blushed and lowered her head, quietly munching on the bacon.
"...Why are you all staring with your mouths open?"
And so, for a while, I had to become a feeding machine.
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