Knock, knock, knock-
Even after I knocked on Kaguya and Yuzuru’s door, there was no sound from inside.
No, to be exact, there was no reply.
Judging by the noise coming from beyond the door, they were definitely in there.
"Hmm. Well, I guess there’s no helping it."
It was rude to go in without the room owner’s permission, but I was here to help.
I repeated to myself that I absolutely had no ulterior motives, then opened the door and stepped inside.
"I came to help, so how’s it going—"
Dun dun dun—
"What is this music!?"
The moment I entered, grand music started playing, and I heard the voices of two people.
"Grr... You fiend of the sphere! ...But I will not yield. I’ll challenge you again and again until I crush you!"
"Quickly. The carrots and potatoes in the pot are already soft. Kaguya, are the onions ready yet?"
"Wait a moment, Yuzuru. But my eyes...! My eyes...!"
"Wow."
Cooking, carried out in an atmosphere that could have passed for a battlefield.
Kaguya was chopping onions while calling them the devil of the sphere, and Yuzuru was handling the other ingredients.
Even while crying, Kaguya’s knife work was excellent.
"Switch. Yuzuru will handle the onions. Kaguya, prepare the minced meat first. The cooking sake, soy sauce, and mirin too, while you’re at it."
"Hmph... I leave the rest to you, Yuzuru."
"Addendum. Please butter the frying pan too."
"I-I can help with—"
"Hieta! Get out of the way! I’m sorry, but now is not the time to concern myself with you."
"Proceed. I’ll pass through. Hieta, please move aside."
"Ah, yes."
I was intimidated by how absurdly serious the two of them were.
So I quietly closed the door and turned away, heading for Miku’s room instead.
"H, Hieta..."
"Hm? Mayuri?"
On the way, I ran into Mayuri in the hallway.
She looked incredibly worn out for some reason.
"No, what on earth happened to you?"
"S-Sachi’s food isn’t food at all..."
"Ah..."
I understood why Mayuri looked so exhausted.
Yeah, just looking at the Fire Keeper’s cooking would be enough to drain your will to live.
"So, where are you going?"
"Ah, I’m going to see Miku."
"I see. I’m going to rest a little..."
Mayuri waved and staggered toward the living room.
I waved back and headed for Miku’s room again.
******
Knock, knock, knock-
"Miku~ I’m here to help."
When I knocked and announced my purpose, Miku opened the door herself.
"Ah, darling! Did you come to watch me cook~?"
"No, I came to help."
"My, you came to help? I’m so happy~"
Miku seemed genuinely happy that I’d come.
Yeah, that’s the kind of pure expression an idol should show.
"Well, I was bored anyway. So, what were you making?"
"Curry rice~ I thought any man would be delighted by it~"
"Curry... yeah. Not bad."
She’d chosen a perfectly ordinary curry, much like Yoshino had.
As long as you used decent store-bought ingredients, curry was the kind of dish that was hard to ruin.
In other words, there was basically no chance of failure.
"Yay! Darling praised me!"
"Ahaha, does that make you that happy?"
At the sight of Miku happily bouncing like a child, I patted her head and said,
"Still, it’s too early to celebrate. I’ve only heard the menu, haven’t I?"
"Then, darling, please taste it."
"That shouldn’t be hard—wait, huh."
Looking at the spoon Miku held out for me to taste with, the thought that it wouldn’t be hard vanished instantly.
"Miku. Is this really curry?"
"Yes, it is~"
No.
That wasn’t curry.
The curry I knew was supposed to stay yellow, but that thing hadn’t even made it anywhere near yellow.
It was... a color that was hard to describe.
"Th, that’s strange... The color of the curry in the pot is really different from what I know..."
"I called the school girls and got all sorts of advice, and this is what happened~"
At that moment, one saying came to mind.
"Too many cooks spoil the broth."
Ah, the wisdom of the ancestors was never wrong.
Looking at the curry with its incomprehensible color, both in the spoon and in the pot, I broke out in a cold sweat.
"No, there’s a limit to this, isn’t there? How do you even make curry come out this color!?"
"It’s fine~ Even if the color is a little ‘extracted,’ it’ll still taste like proper curry."
At Miku’s words, I shook my head desperately and said,
"No, it’s not. Look carefully. Look at that curry color. How does curry end up that color!? It was purple, and there’s blue mixed in too, and I can even see a little teal!"
That was a horror similar to the Fire Keeper’s, yet different.
If the Fire Keeper’s cooking felt like some bizarre black-purple mass writhing around, this was food with bubbles rising through a color I couldn’t even begin to describe.
I was starting to wonder if it was food at all.
"At the very least, make it something people can put in their mouths..."
"I told you, it’s fine~ See? It smells like ordinary curry, doesn’t it?"
Hearing Miku, I cautiously took a sniff.
If my nose wasn’t broken, it smelled exactly like normal curry.
And so I knew for certain.
"Miku’s in the same category as the Fire Keeper."
I didn’t know for sure if they were truly the same species, since I hadn’t tasted it yet, but from the smell alone, they were definitely in the same category.
"I-It does smell like curry, at least..."
"Now then, darling. Please taste it."
Under Miku’s pressure, I picked up the spoon filled with curry that had returned from some horrible demon realm.
"Fine. If I eat it, I won’t die, right?"
Saying that, I shoved the curry into my mouth in one go.
Gulp-!
And then I tasted it.
"Th, this is..."
"How is it~?"
"It’s... ordinary curry. Nothing more, nothing less. It tastes exactly like curry..."
I was tasting perfectly normal curry.
"Right~? It’ll be ready in a little while, so please wait over there, darling~"
"O-Okay."
As I left Miku’s room, I thought,
"She really is in the same category as the Fire Keeper."
I’d been right.
Miku was in the same category as the Fire Keeper.
Their appearance was horrifying, but the taste was normal.
The two of them had that incomprehensible cooking ability.
******
After what felt like a long time.
Anyway, after some time had passed, everyone brought their dishes to the living room table and set them down.
"There’s a lot of variety."
All sorts of dishes spread across the table.
And among them, the ones that drew the most attention were...
"That... is definitely not food, right...?"
Miku’s and the Fire Keeper’s dishes.
The Fire Keeper, as expected, had brought out another bizarre, writhing dish with her unchanged cooking skill, and Miku had brought out the mysterious-colored dish I’d seen earlier.
"By the way, isn’t there too much food?"
Like Rinne said, there was a lot.
Still, it wasn’t a problem.
We had Tohka and Mana, both of whom were big eaters.
And I was the type who ate a lot too, so there was nothing to worry about.
"Tohka’s burnt one looks like a fairy tale princess in comparison..."
"Ahaha. Well then, shall we taste it?"
I speared a nearby salad with my fork and put it in my mouth.
"Ah, Hieta! That’s—"
"Huh? Why is it—"
What the...? Why couldn’t I speak?
As if blocked by something, my voice wouldn’t come out.
Still, I could taste it just fine.
I didn’t know who made it, but it was pretty ordinary.
There seemed to be something sharp and tingly in the middle, but since I couldn’t feel it anymore, maybe it was just my imagination.
When I tried to take another bite, even my body stopped moving.
Even the surroundings turned white, as if shrouded in mist, and far away, Kyohei was waving at me.
"K-Kyohei?"
Why was that guy showing up again all of a sudden?
While I was still wondering about Kyohei’s random appearance, he came closer and closer.
Then, right in front of me, he grabbed my shoulders and shouted,
"I’m not dead! Why are you talking about me like I’m already gone!?"
With Kyohei’s indignant, exasperated shout, I felt my consciousness rising back up.
"Gah!"
"Hieta! You’re awake!"
"Mayuri? What is this..."
The moment I came to, I checked my surroundings.
There were faint ashes scattered around where I’d been standing.
Those ashes meant I’d taken damage.
"Hieta! I’m really sorry!"
"Huh?"
I didn’t even know why ashes were scattered around, and now Mana was suddenly bowing and apologizing to me, which only made my head spin more.
"Why is Mana apologizing to me?"
"Well, you know. Hieta, don’t be surprised and listen."
Shido, who had been watching from the side, scratched his cheek awkwardly and explained what had happened.
The salad I’d eaten was something Mana had made, and the moment I ate it, I froze up and started bleeding from my mouth...
"Mana. You can’t cook."
Not just that. She’d taken a normal dish and turned it into poison.
This was the exact opposite of Miku and the Fire Keeper.
Those two looked terrible, but the taste was normal...
"Anyway, this has to be thrown out."
"Kotori. That’s a bit much, isn’t it...?"
By now, the commander was wearing a long pair of tongs and something like a gas mask while throwing away the food Mana had made.
"I’m sorry!"
"Ah, I’m fine. So please stop apologizing. No one can be good at everything."
As I stopped Mana from bowing over and over, I turned my gaze toward the other dishes.
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