To protect their siblings, they abandon even the fact of being a family.
Perhaps Sanemi was making such a painful resolve.
"Don't make me laugh!!"
As expected, Sanemi, who had woken up during transport, first let out a shout. For someone hit by Makomo's Droplet Thrust, he woke up pretty fast. Tough guy.
If we hadn't tied him to the stretcher, he would have thrown a punch at us right away. Carrying him on my back would have been a disaster.
As I, holding the back of the stretcher, let out a sigh of relief, Kōgetsu, holding the front, clicked his tongue and said, "Noisy as soon as you wake up. With anemia, how high is your blood pressure anyway?"
"Let me go right now! I'll kill all of you!"
"There's no way we'd let you go after hearing that, think about it logically."
"Sanemi, don't thrash around so much. We borrowed this stretcher from the Butterfly Mansion, so if it breaks, we'll be in trouble."
"Yeah, yeah, if you don't want to get scolded together as a group responsibility, behave. Kanae gets scary when she's angry."
"What group responsibility?! Don't drag me into this! Damn it, put this down!!"
Ignoring Sanemi, who was struggling enough to make the stretcher creak, I quickly pushed off the ground to keep up with Kōgetsu's brisk pace.
The wisteria-crest house wasn't far now. Sanemi seemed to notice it too, shaking the stretcher even more violently.
"Who asked for your meddling! You don't know anything!"
"Yeah, I don't know. That's why we're taking you, right? It's only natural to side with Genya, who knows, over you, who doesn't."
It was rare for the gentle and kind Kōgetsu to be this irritated. But I understood. When I heard Sanemi's circumstances, I was a bit annoyed too.
That was probably because I saw my own brother's figure overlapping with Sanemi's.
And because I remembered my own past self in Sanemi now.
"Sanemi."
I called my junior, who was gritting his teeth hard enough to draw blood. His eyes, glaring at Kōgetsu, snapped toward me.
"As Kōgetsu said, we don't know anything. Not why you don't want to meet your family, or how you feel. So teach us. Even if it's just through shouting, pour it all out."
Sanemi didn't answer.
No affirmation or denial, not even a gesture of shaking his head.
"After listening, I'll take you to your family. I'll even beat you up to make you talk."
Thanks to Kōgetsu stopping, I continued speaking. I smiled at Sanemi, who was silently glaring at me.
"Tell me. I'll tell you everything about me too."
The reason I hadn't asked Sanemi anything until now wasn't out of consideration for his wounds.
It was because to ask that, I had to lay myself bare too.
The sin I committed that day—Sanemi probably wouldn't forgive me for it.
·
·
·
I don't remember well how it started. It must have been that trivial.
Over such a petty reason, I fought with my brother that day.
I think we brothers got along well. But since we were close in age, I didn't feel much 'big brother-ness' from Sanemi.
No holding back during fights, no kindness to step back thinking of my little brother, so eventually, the brother who lost the fight ran out of the house sulking.
Time before dinner. The color of the setting sun is still etched in my eyes, never fading. It remains like a burn, refusing to disappear.
——I won't come back until you apologize, big brother!
Crouching in the alley, my brother shouted in a petulant voice, then buried his face in his knees and closed his mouth. I didn't apologize.
Normally not big brother-like at all, only in such times did useless stubbornness kick in, and I couldn't apologize.
——Let's go.
Instead, what came out was that curt remark. But my brother brushed off my outstretched hand and buried his face in his knees again.
If I had just said sorry, that would have been enough. If I had forced myself to gather some big brother-ness and apologized, it would have been good. If I had admitted I was wrong.
If I had, that kind brother would surely have made up. He would have gotten up right away, taken my hand with light steps, and returned home.
Then we could have returned to our usual daily life.
But without making up, my brother died. Killed by a demon right before my eyes.
My parents didn't blame me. Swallowing their grief over losing their second son, they comforted me, saying it was a relief that at least Masachika was safe.
But I easily trampled on those kind parents who, instead of scolding their eldest son who couldn't protect his brother and survived, hugged him.
——Think of me as dead.
Leaving only those cruel words, I left home. I hated the demon that killed my brother, and even more, I hated myself for not protecting him, so I abandoned everything to become a demon slayer.
I called that resolve.
Even though I was just running from the guilt of surviving.
Even though my family's kindness was just painful.
"……I'm different from you."
With a beast-like low groan, Sanemi speaks.
Just down this road is the wisteria-crest house. At the top of the hill, Kōgetsu had taken a seat, and between us, Sanemi lay tied to the stretcher.
"I'd protect my brother even if it kills me. Don't lump me together with you, who killed because you couldn't protect. It's disgusting."
"Shinazugawa!"
"It's fine, Kōgetsu. What Sanemi says is right."
I raised a hand to stop my friend. Strangely, I wasn't really hurt. If anything, I felt a bit relieved.
"What I had to protect is no longer in this world. But you have it. It's still alive. So I don't want you to live a life you've given up on."
"You've been yapping on your own since earlier, who do you think you are to act all high and mighty? I have not a speck of reason to listen to you telling me what to do."
Sanemi's eyes, filled with killing intent toward demons, flashed.
"I kill demons. I'll just kill them all. That's how I live, and that's how I protect. No one else has any reason to point fingers."
"You're too kind, Sanemi."
When I shrugged and gave a wry smile, Sanemi made a dumbfounded face. For that moment, the ferocity vanished, and a boyishness fitting his age returned to his scar-covered face.
"You're a brother so kind to the bone that you don't even think sacrificing your own life for your family is a sacrifice. ……But do you think living like that will make your siblings happy? If you believe they'll be happy, if you think they can be happy, you're a fool. A real idiot, you dumb Sanemi!"
Sanemi's mouth twitched. Before curses could fly from that mouth, I continued.
"A guy who doesn't even live his own life, who turns his back on happiness, what makes you so great! Why don't you choose the path to be happy together! Why won't you meet your siblings!"
——I don't deny dedicating your life to killing demons. But that's a life you've given up on.
The words my master said the day I returned from the Selection flashed through my mind.
"What you're doing because you think it's good is just feeding your life to demons. What's the difference between that and being killed by a demon! What will you say to your mother when you die and go to the afterlife. If you say, 'I just kept cutting down demons,' do you think Sanemi's mother would praise that?!"
"Masachika."
Kōgetsu, who had been watching me with Sanemi between us, suddenly reached out a hand.
"You're crying."
Finger wiping my cheek. Only then did I realize my own tears. But I couldn't stop. I'm not smart, so I don't know how to persuade Sanemi to understand properly.
So now, I have no choice but to pour out what I want to say as it is. To shake, even a little, that stubborn conviction firmly planted in Sanemi's heart.
"To be honest, I see my brother's figure overlapping with you! That's why I want you to live happily with a smile! I want you to meet someone you love, build a warm family, see your grandchildren's faces, live a fulfilling life, and then die!"
"——I said there's no life for enjoyment."
"Then I'll give you my life! I'll protect Sanemi as part of your family, taking your share too! That should work, then it's fine, right?!"
"——How could that be fine. What you're saying is incoherent."
Still, is it not enough with just me?
Sanemi no longer glared at me, but he didn't try to meet my eyes either. With eyes that seemed to reject everything, staring into the void, he muttered coldly as if to himself.
"Just leave me alone. It doesn't matter——"
"It does matter!"
The one who shouted was Kōgetsu.
"Don't look down on Masachika's kindness, you bastard Shinazugawa! Why does a guy like you, a champion at throwing away your life, have to be Masachika's junior?! Are you kidding?! You have no will to live your own life! Even Yoriiichi's facial muscles would be better off!"
At the relentless stream of rough insults, Sanemi, tied up and unable to cover his ears, closed his eyes instead as if annoyed.
Then Kōgetsu forced his eyelids open with "Good morning, are you listening?!" and shouted again.
"Speaking from experience! Even if you believe it's fine not to have yourself, the people left behind can't live peacefully at all! They hold onto broken happiness and live on, and then——!"
His words cut off. He was crying. Without even trying to wipe the uncontrollable tears flowing down his cheeks, he just let out a painful breath. It was an odd expression, seeming both angry and crying.
I've known him for a long time, but I've never seen Kōgetsu like this. I've seen his sad or lonely face, but I have no memory of such a bitter cry, as if various kinds of regret were mixed together.
"……'And then'? What."
Sanemi urged for the rest. His tone seemed mocking, but his voice trembled ever so slightly. As if afraid.
"……The future I believed in fell apart. Unbelievably easily."
Kōgetsu's voice, glaring at Sanemi, wasn't threatening. It was calm, just stating a fact.
"So Shinazugawa, live properly. Even if you can't live with Genya and the others, it's fine to just show your face sometimes. Even sending letters is fine. As a big brother, don't make them lonely."
"……There's no way I can meet them."
A weakened voice muttered. The eyes staring into the void seemed a bit damp for some reason.
"As a demon slayer, a life where I don't even know what will happen tomorrow……"
The words didn't continue. Sanemi tightly closed his lips as if hesitating to say more. But it was easy to guess what would come next.
Sanemi's family must be kind people like him. They must love their big brother as much as he loves his family.
If those children learn about their brother's job, learn that he's fighting covered in wounds, what faces would they make. And if their brother were to die, how sad would they be.
Sanemi is worried about that. He's afraid of becoming a new wound for his family. He hesitates to meet them because he doesn't want them to lose anything more.
But Sanemi, you're wrong.
"You meet them because you don't know what will happen tomorrow."
This guy isn't just kind; he's strong.
Then I was sure Sanemi's family must be the same.
"It's much better than regretting without leaving anything behind."
There was no answer. Sanemi tied to the stretcher remained silent. Only his gaze moved quietly.
Looking at the road to the wisteria-crest house, not far now, just down the hill.
——Even after untying him, Sanemi didn't thrash around. He didn't run away, standing on the hill as if rooted.
His face was turned toward the wisteria-crest house. An expression mixed with anxiety and hesitation. He probably still didn't have the courage to take a step toward that house.
"Let's go."
Hoping to help him take that one step, I offered my hand. Sanemi didn't roughly handle the hand I expected to be rejected or to walk on his own.
He stared at it hard enough to bore a hole.
"……Yeah."
With a careful motion that didn't match his curt attitude, he took my hand.
In my dazed mind from the unexpected turn of events, a childhood memory suddenly surfaced. The memory of that night when my brother refused my hand.
I didn't offer my hand to reenact that night. It was truly a coincidence. There wasn't a speck of such intent.
But Sanemi is a kind guy, so he must have been considerate of my wound. That's why he took my hand. Kindly, as if to heal my self-inflicted wound.
As a result, it felt like I was being spoiled by Sanemi, and I felt oddly sorry.
"……Sorry, Sanemi."
"……Doesn't matter either way."
Sanemi, sniffling as if annoyed, walked with heavy steps.
Seeing me almost trip, pulled by the connected hand, Kōgetsu behind us chuckled. With a voice still slightly tearful.
*
"……Hey."
Seeing his big brother appear without any warning, Shinazugawa Genya was speechless. The firewood he was holding in his arms fell with a dry sound.
Was he dreaming while standing? His mouth dried up rapidly at the sudden, favorable reality that had rolled in.
"……Brother?"
"What's with that face, like you've seen a ghost."
When called in a faltering voice, a teasing reply came back.
If other siblings had been there, they could have distinguished whether the brother before their eyes was an illusion or reality, but the sisters were in the kitchen, and the brothers were cleaning the bath, so only Genya was here.
Was this a dream?
"Brother, brother……"
No, even if it's a dream, it doesn't matter.
With that thought, he ran to his brother. Like a child at an age to be spoiled, he threw himself into his brother's sturdy chest.
If other siblings had been there, he would have been too embarrassed, but now, here, it was just Sanemi and Genya.
Just brother and sibling, the two of them.
Compared to the last time they met, his brother had more scars and was wearing a black gakuran. Genya knew what that outfit meant. He also knew the meaning of the sword at his waist.
There were mountains of things he wanted to ask, but now, he had something to say first.
"I'm sorry. Back then, I…… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, brother."
Stammering, he apologized while tears kept flowing, blocking his words.
He had always been prepared not to be forgiven. Prepared to be thrown aside. Prepared to be told he wasn't a sibling.
But his brother said nothing, stroking Genya's head as if to soothe him. With a touch as kind as ever.
"I'm sorry for blaming you. I'm sorry for saying harsh things when you protected me."
Barely holding back from crying at how big a mistake he had made by vilifying his brother, he sniffled and squeezed out his voice.
"Together…… we said we'd protect, we promised…… but I broke that promise."
"……I'm the one who broke it."
Shaking his head to deny his brother's words spoken in a lonely voice. His brother kept the promise. Unlike himself, who couldn't do anything, his brother protected Genya and the other siblings splendidly.
It was himself who drove away the brother who should have stood together. Crying, Genya poured out his regret for not being together in his brother's most painful moment.
"Brother, I hurt you…… I'm sorry."
From his brother came the smell of wounds. The smell of bandages soaked in blood and disinfectant.
How nice it would be if the words that hurt his brother that day could be healed like this.
Just thinking about how many wounds his brother had endured until now made his tongue feel frozen. He fell into deep self-loath, feeling he couldn't even apologize.
"You idiot."
Sanemi punched Genya's head.
Looking up, he spoke with a genuinely incredulous face.
"Don't get cocky and think you hurt your brother, you little sibling."
Those words weren't kindness or bravado. It was Sanemi's true feelings. The strong brother Sanemi had never been hurt by his sibling.
Then Genya could only cry now. Swallowing the tears that flowed embarrassingly, more than he could show his siblings, he sobbed.
And with a voice grown hoarse from too much crying, he said, "Welcome back."
"……I'm back."
When Sanemi answered like that, his sibling finally couldn't hold back and started crying aloud.
Sensing the commotion of the little ones approaching, Sanemi raised his head and looked up at the sky.
The world tinged with twilight was the same red as the promise they had shared that day.
Dawn had finally come to Shinazugawa's heart, which had been as dark as night.
Listening to the tearful cheers, I exchanged a smile with Masachika, who had been waiting by the door.
"Masachika, you're crying a lot."
"Says the guy with teary eyes."
I wondered if the suffering Masachika had been holding had eased a bit through this. Watching Masachika, who was peeking inside with narrowed eyes saying "Thank goodness. Thank goodness……", I cautiously asked.
"……You said you ran away from home, but Masachika, are you in good contact with your family?"
"I am. Well, I had no such intention at first, but after the Selection, we've been exchanging letters."
Saying he got a scolding from his master, Masachika smiled sheepishly.
At first, it was just laments like "Come back," "Quit dangerous work like demon slaying," but now proper replies come, he said.
"They say they're living happily and well. That I'm living a human life. I write diligently to make them understand."
"Yeah, that's good."
"Wow, it was worth sending funny letters continuously. Like 'This Week's Collection of Makomo's Droplet Thrusts' or 'Kōgetsu's Bamboo Forest Legend,' recently 'Sabito's Marriage Proposal Incident ~The White Skin Revealed by the Moonlit Hot Spring~' really got to my father."
"Don't leak Sabito's dark history in the Kumeno family living room?!"
It's been a bit awkward since that incident!
"By the way, I got scolded hard by my mother for telling Makomo, who insisted 'Kōgetsu is flat so he's a man!', that by that logic, you're a man too."
"You should be scolded. If Masachika's mother hadn't scolded you, I would have given you a beating in the bamboo forest."
"A crow brought a white stick, so I wondered what it was, and it was an incredibly long letter, about three feet, densely packed. After being scolded endlessly with heart-piercing words, I was told to write a reflection letter of the same length."
"Serves you right."
"I practiced calligraphy with huge letters saying 'I'm sorry' and sent it, and a letter twice as long came back~"
"Isn't that obvious?! If I had the same thing happen, it would be three bamboo forest sessions worth?!"
Anyway, it's good that they seem to be living happily.
While exchanging jokes with Masachika like that, Shinazugawa walked over. With his siblings trailing behind him like ducklings.
Shinazugawa aside, the little ones, including Genya, had faces messed up with tears.
"……Thank you."
Shinazugawa awkwardly avoided eye contact and offered his thanks. He wasn't crying, but his nose was red. His eyes seemed slightly moist too.
Even the scary Shinazugawa, who drifts like the wind like a yakuza, has unexpectedly cute aspects.
"You're welcome. But me, I haven't forgiven being called 'damn brat' by you yet, okay?"
Shinazugawa has a vulgar mouth. Look, behind him, Genya and the others are widening their eyes saying, "Brother, you said that to Kōgetsu?!" Say more, everyone!
"Sorry about that? But I can't forgive being suddenly knocked out either, so we're even, right?"
Shinazugawa glared with blood vessels bulging on his face.
Oh, want to go? I'll glare back without backing down. Our gazes clashed with a sizzle.
It was Masachika who stopped us.
"But you didn't even have time to feel pain, right? Makomo's Droplet Thrust is really amazing."
"Think of it as a powerful anesthetic for wild animals."
"Huh? Who's a wild animal? Was it too stimulating for the weak Moon Hashira of the bamboo??"
"Hey, Shinazugawa. Let's go to the Millennium Bamboo Forest together this weekend. That's your final destination, you bastard. I'll blow even the moon away for you."
"Whoa~ whoa~"
Forcibly separating us after we glared at each other from a distance where our breaths could meet, Masachika looked at Shinazugawa with a troubled face.
"Actually, I thought about beating you until you passed out, but with a swollen face, it wouldn't look cool, right? The Droplet Thrust was actually an act of mercy?"
"I don't need such sharp mercy."
It was a dead-eyed retort without a hint of hesitation. Indeed, Makomo's Droplet Thrust was amazing.
The moment Shinazugawa tried to pick a fight, saying "What's with this little girl," at the point of 'girl,' a fist struck. A beautiful skill worthy of thunderous applause.
Makomo, who gave us a thumbs up as we quickly tied Shinazugawa to the stretcher and moved him, was hardboiled itself.
"So Shinazugawa, what did you come for? To pick a fight while thanking us?"
"If you want, I'll sell it to you right now?"
"Try it, I'll make your face go into the red in one second."
"Not funny at all, huh?"
"Sanemi and Kōgetsu, both of you stop. Or are you two actually getting along~?"
"You shut up, Masachika!!"
"Huh???"
The moment Shinazugawa shouted, Masachika was startlingly surprised.
It seemed he was shocked because Shinazugawa, who had been calling him by his surname until now, suddenly called him Masachika. He froze, forgetting to stop the fight.
"Hmm."
Leaving Masachika, who had stiffened like a wet towel left in a blizzard, Shinazugawa for some reason held out his palm to me.
What's this. I'm not your wife of many years, so I don't know what you're asking for.
"Want me to read your palm? Wow, this emotion line shows you'll suffer in love~ My condolences~!!"
"No. You have it, give it to me."
I braced for a shake-down, but it wasn't that.
"The face drawings, give them to me."
"Ah, you mean this. Here."
Say the subject from the start, subject. Don't confuse people with weird speech. Is this a Heisei-era comedy? No, rather, in this era, it's the latest?
"Huh, huh? Face drawings, you mean the ones we drew?"
"Wh-what are you going to do with that, Brother Sanemi."
Flustered Genya. Pale-faced Teiko. Behind such siblings, Shinazugawa carefully put the face drawings into his bosom and spat out nonchalantly.
"Obviously, I'll put them in a frame and decorate them."
"Nooooooo!"
"Please stop, Brother!"
"Why would you do such a terrible thing?!"
"Embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing!!"
One brother hung on Shinazugawa's arm, begging him to stop, one sister reached out to snatch the drawings from Shinazugawa's bosom, another brother crouched on the spot with a bright red face.
Looking at the scene plunged into mild panic, Shinazugawa snorted.
"They're drawings of my face. So let your brother do as he pleases."
Shinazugawa's smiling face looked exactly like any of the six face drawings.
It had the face of a kind brother.
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