"Explain what's going on, Meichiro!"
The heartwarming reunion between parent and child was shattered by Yushiro's interjection.
Well, it was to be expected. The kid who had been rolling down the stairs and couldn't even answer was suddenly calling the person he had been addressing as Tamayo until just now 'Mom,' so Yushiro's outcry was perfectly understandable.
But it wasn't easy to explain everything from the beginning, and I didn't know where to start.
"Um, my memories came back. So... I, actually, am Tamayo's..."
Could I say 'child'? In this life, I wasn't born from my mom. Looking at Mom with anxious eyes, she quietly nodded and continued for me.
"Meichiro is my child."
Ah, my eyes are getting hot. I feel like crying again.
"...Wh-wh-when did you give birth?"
...No, thanks to Yushiro trembling and asking back with a pale face, my tears dried up.
Yushiro always accepts Mom's words like gospel, but it seemed the amount of information this time was too much to handle.
"It's a long story. I'm not sure if you'll believe it..."
Seeing Mom's face shadowed with unease, Yushiro gasped and regained his usual composure. He straightened his posture as if to say, 'Everything Tamayo says is my truth. Don't worry!' I really like this about Yushiro.
The explanation was postponed until after checking my injuries.
Mom expertly examined my condition and concluded that, fortunately, aside from a bump on my head, there was nothing seriously wrong. Thanks to Yushiro catching me well, it seemed to end with just some scratches.
After finishing the examination and getting off the bed, Mom called me, "Meichiro."
"Tell me your story too."
Just as Yushiro had been ready to accept Mom's words, Mom's face showed she was prepared to hear all of my story.
"...Okay."
I was happy. I felt grateful enough to cry.
But I'm sorry. There are things I can't tell no matter what.
＊
According to Tamayo, Meichiro is the reincarnation of a son who died hundreds of years ago.
And according to Meichiro, he has repeated such reincarnations many times.
Heliocentrism or geocentrism, who cares. Yushiro's world revolves around Tamayo.
So whether it's reincarnation or rebirth, no matter how absurd the story, if it comes from Tamayo's mouth, he could believe it willingly. If Tamayo believed Meichiro's words, Yushiro believed them too.
But even if he decided to believe, there are stories one just can't bring themselves to believe.
"...I was researching a medicine to turn demons back into humans, but the demons misunderstood it as poison. They treated me as a thorn in their side, calling me the poison doctor Shabana, and I ended up dying. It was the winter when I was twenty-two, killed by Upper Rank 2 at the time."
"You, didn't you die too meaninglessly?"
"But that was the longest I lived so far, wasn't it?"
"Your standard for 'long-lived' is completely ruined."
"It's okay! Dying is the last time from now on!"
"Look up the meaning of 'okay' in the dictionary."
The list of Meichiro's past lives from the start was so miserable that Yushiro didn't want to believe it. He wanted to think it was a made-up story.
Frankly speaking, if Tamayo hadn't been there, he would have screamed, "Don't lie, you idiot! Say it's a lie, you idiot!"
To add, Tamayo, who was there with them, had turned pale with shock. Her hand holding the cold, untouched tea was trembling violently.
Tamayo had prepared herself to some extent to hear Meichiro's story, but the content her child was so casually talking about was so pitiful that her tear ducts were on the verge of bursting. Yushiro was perfectly ready to offer a handkerchief.
Being born and dying someday is the fixed fate of humans, but Meichiro's lives were always too short.
He let a friend who became a demon eat his body and died at a young age, and in the next life, he aspired to be a demon hunter to find his friend but was killed by a demon again at a young age.
And when he was born as Tamayo's son and died, he was only a single-digit age. The next time was the same. It was so fleeting that it brought tears.
In the next life as Shabana Tsukuru, Meichiro had a triumphant expression saying he lived long, but would Yushiro acknowledge twenty-two years as long-lived?
Moreover, upon hearing that the cause of death was Upper Rank 2, Tamayo, who had heard rumors of the cruel nature of Upper Rank 2 at the time, ended up trembling so much she spilled her tea.
The part he didn't say about how the child was killed was even scarier.
"...I was suspected of being involved with demons and expelled from the Demon Slayer Corps. When I returned to my uncle's house, my cousin had become a demon."
"Ugh!"
"Tamayo, pull yourself together!"
Tamayo felt sick to her stomach from Rei's parade of misfortune and unhappiness, enough to make even the tragedy of being eaten by his birth mother seem blurry. Yushiro diligently patted her back, but her chest was already tight and painful. No more was needed.
But the life of 'Rei' that Meichiro was telling was still in the middle stage. If it were a course meal, it would be the soup stage.
"Somehow, I became a demon too, but I tried not to eat people."
The salad served.
"I told the cousin who joined later and the new family not to attack people, and to eat me instead if they were hungry."
The fish dish unfolding.
"We were living quietly like that when one day the Demon Slayer Corps found our hideout."
The main dish barging in.
"I was badly injured and reached my limit, and my sanity burst with hunger..."
The palette cleanser driving in the nail, the cheese course.
"Before I could eat people, a friend from the same Demon Slayer Corps risked his life to stop me... and I died like that."
At the dessert thrown down as a finish, Tamayo finally screamed.
Instead of chopsticks, she put down the teacup, and tears caused a great flood as if her chest would burst with agony. Yushiro's handkerchief was soaked in an instant.
Tamayo had guessed that Kibutsuji Muzan would use white-haired red-eyed blood as medicine, so she was surprised that her child didn't die but became a demon, but knowing that a tragedy worse than death awaited him, she was already exhausted to the point of weariness.
Damn Kibutsuji Muzan. How dare he make my son go through such things.
"I won't forgive you, Kibutsuji Muzan! You alone...!"
Tamayo's inner thoughts accidentally spilled out.
Hearing that, Meichiro drooped his eyebrows, something neither Tamayo nor Yushiro, who felt an inappropriate thrill thinking, 'Tamayo using strong words is beautiful too,' knew about.
＊
The fact that the 'old friend' I mentioned was Lord Muzan was something I still couldn't tell.
Patting Mom's back as she cried with shaking shoulders together with Yushiro, I was gripped by guilt for not being able to tell everything.
"You know, Mom. I really want to find that friend. I want to stop that child who became a demon. Besides that, I have a lot of things I want to do and must do."
—Life here was happiness itself. It was warm and gentle, making me want to stay forever.
But because of me, many people became demons and many people are sad, so I can't just live peacefully alone.
"...I'm going to leave here. I plan to join the Demon Slayer Corps."
Yushiro gasped. But Mom, who lifted her head, didn't seem very surprised. She might have vaguely guessed.
"Do you have to go?"
"Tamayo."
Yushiro called Mom. As if asking if he shouldn't hold her back.
But Mom knew. That I'm a child who never backs down once I make up my mind.
From the past life history I explained, she probably already knows how desperately I wanted to join the Demon Slayer Corps.
"It's dangerous outside. With your appearance, it'll be hard to survive, and you'll be targeted by demons. I can't be sure you'll smoothly join the Demon Slayer Corps. Moreover, in your past life, you were... by the Demon Slayer Corps... Even so, is your mind unchanged?"
"Yes. Because I can't get a Nichirin Blade unless it's from the Demon Slayer Corps. It'll also be much easier to get information about demons from them."
"...I see."
"Besides, if I become a Hashira, I can receive financial support, right? Then I can research the medicine to turn demons back into humans to my heart's content. With luck, I might even be able to turn Mom back into a human!"
Not just Mom. Lord Muzan too, Rui too, Mukago too, and other demons as well.
And even if I become a demon again myself, with the medicine, I can return right away. There's no risk of going wild driven by hunger and hurting someone.
Back then, if I had the medicine, I wouldn't have made Shōjuro like that.
While lost in thought, Mom suddenly stroked my cheek.
"...You've grown so much."
She smiled once, lonely.
And nodding affectionately, Mom quietly told me to do as I wish.
Well, in this atmosphere, I thought my independence would be accepted smoothly.
But the voice of opposition came from an unexpected place.
"This may be presumptuous, but I oppose!"
The one who shouted that was Yushiro. At those words, Mom and I opened our eyes wide. Even if Mom was surprised, Yushiro clicked his tongue, seeming displeased that I was startled.
"I'll hear you out first, but what's with that face?"
"I'm surprised because I didn't expect Yushiro to stop me. It's too unexpected."
I thought he'd be happy thinking, 'Now quiet life with just Tamayo returns!' and pack my things for me. I thought he'd see me off with a full smile saying, 'Take care!'
"...I just don't want to see Tamayo sad. First of all, do you even know how old you look?"
"Rounded up, a hundred years old!"
"Who asked about your inner age! Your appearance, your appearance! Do you think I'd acknowledge the departure of a brat like you whose head isn't even dry yet? Look at you, you'll get eaten by demons, let alone humans! And let me tell you, even after a hundred years, a fool is a fool. If you're a fool who doesn't know the end, there's no way you'll improve. Rather, your foolishness matures and gains depth. So, snap out of it!"
"If I'm called a fool that much, maybe I'm a genius instead?"
At my retort to his words poking my forehead with his finger, Yushiro raised his eyebrows saying, "Is your mouth a fool too!"
"Yushiro, stop the violence."
"It's educational guidance, Tamayo! This guy won't listen to words!"
...Hmm, well, Yushiro has a point.
No, not the part about 'won't listen to words.' That's true too, but not that.
In this life, I lived without memories, so I couldn't train properly, and I lack strength and agility.
Of course, thanks to eating Mom's meals to my fill every day, I've bid farewell to malnutrition, but suddenly traveling alone with this body now is unreasonable.
Still, the fortunate thing is that I was unconsciously doing Sun Breathing, so my condition is much better than an ordinary child.
Come to think of it, my past life memories returned, but my memories of this life are still vague. I can't properly recall how I lived before being picked up by Mom.
Well, being hit enough to lose memories must have been the result of failing the parent gacha as usual. Let's not think too deeply.
"Yushiro, really... if you're worried about Meichiro, don't be shy and say you're worried honestly. If you say things too harshly, you might be misunderstood."
"Wha! That's a misunderstanding! I'm not particularly worried about this guy like..."
"It's okay, Mom. Yushiro's hard-to-understand worry is properly conveyed!"
"Who's worried!"
Somehow it felt familiar, but Yushiro is like that. He resembles Mayu.
Always raising his eyebrows, or his attitude of always calling me a fool, it's the same. A typical tsundere. To Mom, he's dere-dere while—no, maybe not dere-dere. Since he always acts prim and proper, tsun-proper?
Well, anyway, it's good. For a while, I need to focus on training. Let's become strong enough to persuade Yushiro so I can go outside alone.
With that resolution, for several months, I devoted myself only to training. Eating well, sleeping well, training steadily, trying to make up for what I've fallen behind.
Of course, I also put effort into academics. Since Mom is by my side for once, I absorbed various knowledge like demon body structures and what's being researched now.
The medicine to turn demons back into humans is also being researched by Mom, but she says progress is slow because it's hard to get demon blood usable for research.
I asked how demons can live only on human blood.
The fastest method seems to be physical改造 at the cellular level, but hearing the details, it was horrifying like appendectomy surgery with a saw without anesthesia, so it's not something to do easily. By the way, Mom said she did it.
"Compared to childbirth, it was comfortable."
Strong. (Convinced)
Yushiro, who became a demon with Mom's blood, can live with much less blood than Mom, I heard.
Yushiro said he was waiting for death from an incurable disease when Mom saved him by making him a demon. So that's why he's so infatuated with Mom. I understand.
As a bonus, I also heard an explanation about the research document I received from Lord Kagaya during the Rei era. That problematic document I couldn't make in the end. The very data that burned in the Demon Slayer Corps fire.
According to Mom, it's a poison formulation document. A type of poison that destroys demon cells.
So, based on that, if we reconstruct it, couldn't we make a medicine to turn demons back into humans...?
It would take too much time and material costs to start immediately, but if I join the Demon Slayer Corps and become a Hashira, it's worth researching.
When I said I deciphered that code, Mom was very surprised and smiled happily saying, "You properly remembered what Mom taught you."
The snack that day was castella, which I like.
・
・
・
The day to leave here is gradually approaching. Before that, it's natural to be filial to Mom, and I should also be filial in my own way to Yushiro.
Wondering what would help Yushiro, what suddenly came to mind was helping with household chores. Cleaning. Let's help with cleaning.
In the time without memories, I was a snot-nosed brat, so I went rolling down the stairs, but now it's different. Now that I've regained my memories, I won't repeat the same mistake!
Deciding to start with window cleaning, I went up the stairs with a skipping step, carrying a bucket of water towards Yushiro, who was cleaning on the second floor.
Then, an incident occurred.
"Huuuuuuh?!?!?!"
As soon as my figure appeared on the stairs, Yushiro's scream echoed as if his eardrums would tear.
Yushiro, who threw down the duster, snatched the bucket from my hand at lightning speed, tucked me under his arm, and immediately distanced himself from the stairs.
A jumping power like a startled cat. And seeing that not a single drop of water spilled from the bucket, Yushiro is a pro.
"You shouldn't make loud noises in the middle of the night, Yushiro."
"Whose fault do you think this is?!?!"
"Huh?"
"Don't look around! It's you, you, your fault!"
With a face turned blue, breathing roughly, Yushiro continued.
"Have you already forgotten falling down the stairs, you blockhead!"
"But the current me doesn't make such mistakes anymore..."
"Shut up! Don't ever come up to the second floor again! A reckless brat like you should live closest to the ground! For Tamayo's sake, and for mine!"
Even though I said my mental age is rounded up to a hundred years, Yushiro treats me completely as a child based on my appearance. Well, it's probably because I'm an incorrigible fool.
When people hear things like 'Body is a child! Mind is an adult!' most would be displeased, but I found such tussles with Yushiro, who doesn't fear me and deals with me straight, unbearably enjoyable. Still, it's oddly embarrassing, so that day I cleaned the windows very hard.
But Yushiro.
Walking in front of me when going down the stairs is one thing, but honestly, I think holding hands is overdoing the child treatment.
＊
The season of parting is always set in spring.
"Well then, thank you for everything until now!"
With a light voice as if going for a short walk, Meichiro waved his hand.
In response, Tamayo waved back with a fleeting smile. Beside her, Yushiro stood with arms crossed, unable to hide his displeasure. Chachamaru tapped his heels with her tail.
"...If you leave here, you can't come back."
"Yes, I know."
Compared to Yushiro's heavy voice, Meichiro's answer was light.
"...To avoid the eyes of the Demon Slayer Corps or Kibutsuji, we regularly move our hideout. Even if you want to come back, there will be nothing here by then."
"I know that too."
No matter how much he tried to scare with a fierce face, no matter how coldly he spoke, there was no shadow on Meichiro's expression.
"Chachamaru isn't a messenger pigeon, but if she becomes a messenger cat, we could contact each other."
Crouching and stroking Chachamaru while muttering, Chachamaru meowed "Meow" as usual, as if understanding Meichiro's words. Her capriciously swaying tail somehow seemed weaker than usual.
"Well, still, if we live, we'll meet again someday."
Dying several times easier than others, having only lived past twenty once, Meichiro laughed innocently.
"Until we meet next time, I'll do a lot of research on the medicine to turn demons back into humans!"
Look forward to it!
At Meichiro's figure so naturally talking about the future, Yushiro could no longer say anything. No matter what he said, this boy won't stop now.
Wearing a somewhat large hunting hat on his still-young head, Meichiro waved his hand again. This time, raising both hands high as if doing a cheer.
"I'll be back! Mom, Yushiro, Chachamaru too!"
"Yes, take care. Be careful."
"Meow~"
Even though it might be the moment of parting with her child in this life, there was not a single flaw in Tamayo's smile.
The woman smiled as a mother, more beautifully than ever. Like a model, perfect. At that smile, Meichiro also smiled brightly and turned his back.
Yushiro couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, what words to offer.
"Meichiro!"
Not knowing what to do, he called the name. And shouted. The one word he most earnestly wished for the boy.
"Survive!"
Meichiro looked back and smiled broadly.
"Of course!"
Shouting with a laugh, the boy started running again.
Spring night. Cherry blossoms that have finished their season scatter under the moonlight. Meichiro's figure, running as if led by the cherry petals, finally left Yushiro's barrier.
Gradually distancing, shrinking, and soon completely disappearing, the boy's presence.
Suddenly, from beside, Tamayo's presence of crouching was felt. The smile from moments ago was gone, and the woman covered her face and shook her shoulders.
A voice holding back tears quietly called Yushiro.
"Was I... pretty when I smiled?"
—I hope the face of Mom I remember at such times is a smiling face.
That child said that hundreds of years ago. Whether he remembers or not is unknown, but still, Tamayo wanted to keep that promise.
So she smiled. Even facing parting with her child, she acted as a splendid mother.
"Yes, Tamayo."
Yushiro knelt by Tamayo's side and carefully stroked the woman's back.
"More than anything... more than anything, you were beautiful."
I should have seen you off with a smile too.
Regretting the past, Yushiro smiled quietly. When he blinked, only now did tears of parting flow down.
'How foolish,' Chachamaru meowed.
Spring is the season of parting.
Because cherry blossoms scatter profusely, as if mimicking human tears.
＊
Countless older brothers died.
Innumerable older sisters died too.
Younger brothers died. Younger sisters died. Many children died. Probably, far more died in places I don't know.
I don't remember the faces of family well.
Maybe I forgot, or maybe they already died before I could remember.
But only one person. That older brother, I remember clearly. From really early childhood, memories from when I was so young I could barely talk, so everything is vague and dream-like, fleeting like a fantasy.
Maybe even that is a convenient fantasy I created—but still, I vividly remember the warmth of that hand.
He had pure white hair.
He had bright red eyes.
He always protected us from our father and mother's violence.
Calming siblings crying from being hit, stroking my head scared stiff saying "It's okay," the older brother's eyes that shone incongruously even in this pitch-black quagmire remain deep in my heart forever.
In this place full of emptiness, sadness, pain, hardship, and all kinds of loneliness, only older brother was the one warm existence.
But when that older brother shielded me and got hit by father and couldn't move, I couldn't do anything.
I couldn't stop.
Because siblings who tried to stop were kicked.
I couldn't cry.
Because siblings who cried were hit.
I couldn't take a single step.
Among siblings who couldn't move, I was just trembling.
Older brother didn't return. Even after days passed, tens of days, hundreds of days.
When I realized he would never return forever—that the warmth that protected us had disappeared forever—snap.
I became unable to feel anything. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. If I can't get that hand's warmth again, I'd rather lose everything.
If I'm empty, nothing will be sad.
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