I couldn't pretend not to see the crying child.
The reason I brought those children was simply that.
"Are you really not an idiot?!"
When 'Nee-san's' shout was heard, it was a signal that Onii-chan had returned.
Seeing this atmosphere, I thought he must have picked up another new child, and when I looked outside, sure enough, behind Onii-chan kneeling down, a small child was standing restlessly.
"Just how many do you have to pick up before you're satisfied! Think about limits!"
"The more family, the merrier."
"We just got a new little brother not long ago!"
"But I couldn't just pass by."
For that reason, the children Onii-chan brought now couldn't be counted on one hand. They were on the verge of not being enough even with both hands.
The house where we lived with just me, 'Mom', and Onii-chan now had 'Dad', 'Brother', 'Nee-san', and 'Little Brothers' and 'Little Sisters' added, making it quite crowded.
But as the family grew, 'Nee-san's' shouting also gradually became louder.
"You're always like this! No matter how much I say, you don't listen...!"
"Now, if Rei has returned, you should first say 'Welcome back'?"
Calming the furiously angry 'Nee-san' was a girl with neatly cut bangs—the second 'Nee-san'.
No, since she came here first, should I call her the first? Well, either way, it doesn't matter.
"Rei, don't feel bad. Mayu is just worried about you."
"No, I just don't like my meals getting smaller...!"
"There, there, I'll let it be that."
"I said no, Yukari!!"
When we were three living together, there was no inconvenience, but as the family grew, names were needed for distinction.
Of the two nee-sans, the one with a bright red face chattering is Mayu, and the one listening with a cool face is Yukari. Both names were given by Onii-chan.
Mayu turned the target of her anger from Onii-chan to Yukari and continued shouting. Wondering if she doesn't run out of breath with all that noise, I leisurely approached Onii-chan.
"Onii-chan, welcome back."
"I'm back, Rui. Were you good watching the house?"
"Yes. ......Is that child the new family?"
When I leaned in, the child averted their eyes as if frightened.
Well, everyone was like that at first. Even Mayu, who's now barking so vigorously, had a blank face at first and didn't get along well with the family. If this child stays here for a few days, they'll probably get used to it soon.
"A boy?"
"Yes, a little brother. Since he's the smallest, he'll be the youngest brother."
"Name? What should we call him?"
"He says he doesn't remember. So I'll give him a new one. What kind of name would be good......"
"Shu, Shu!"
A sharp voice flew in. It was Mayu. I thought she wasn't paying attention to this side anymore since she was playing with Yukari, but her ears are sharp.
"Let this be the last one you pick up! So Shu (End)! Understood?!"
Every time a new child came, Mayu always raised her eyebrows like that. She makes all sorts of excuses like "I don't want to share meals," "It's unpleasant that the house gets smaller," but everyone knows the real reason.
She's worried about Onii-chan, who cuts his own body to sustain us since we can't survive on just the corpses of suicide victims.
"Shu. It's a nice name."
But Onii-chan, ignoring Mayu's worries, just smiled brightly. No matter how much she scolds, it's like this, so it's preaching to the deaf. I can understand Mayu getting irritated and shouting.
To be honest, I was also worried about Onii-chan. A demon's recovery power is maintained by eating human flesh, but Onii-chan doesn't eat humans.
If he keeps cutting his body without any replenishment, won't he really disappear one day—— such thoughts suddenly make me afraid.
"Did you hear me properly?! You really are...!"
Just as 'Nee-san' was about to tear her hair out in agony.
"Kekekek, Mayu is getting angry again."
A ominous laughter echoed through the house. When I looked up, I met a grinning face and eyes hanging upside down from the ceiling.
Seeing the large spider torso attached to that face, the child who had just received the name 'Shu' screamed convulsively and clung to Onii-chan's leg.
Looking down at the frightened Shu with a satisfied laugh, he is 'Brother'. His name is Agata.
He likes to scare people, so every time a new child comes, he appears like that, but no matter how much we tell him to stop because it's pitiful, he doesn't listen. He really is a bad brother.
"A~ga~ta~, that appearance will scare the new child, so could you restrain yourself?"
"Tch, understood~"
Even Agata was obedient in front of Onii-chan. The eight legs full of venom quickly turned back into ordinary limbs, and when the spider torso also changed to a human one, the new 'little brother' who had been frightened by the spider also made a slightly relieved expression.
Since my demon art is close to a spider, all the family members who drank my blood gained abilities related to spiders.
Spitting thread, setting spider webs, or transforming into a spider itself like Agata, the types vary.
"Rei, welcome!"
"Welcome~"
"Welcome back!!"
"Back~!"
Starting with 'Brother' welcoming the new child, other family members in the house began to show themselves one by one. 'Mom', another 'Brother', and even the little siblings.
Onii-chan, who was patting the heads of the little siblings clinging to his waist, seemed to notice that one of the family members was missing. Looking around, he couldn't see them, so Onii-chan called that existence.
"Where's 'Dad'?"
"Over there, practicing transformation."
I quickly pointed beyond the bushes. The child who took on the role of 'father' in the family play was immersed in transformation practice day and night, saying he would become a father who could protect the family.
"He says he'll transform into a form so big and scary that even Demon Slayer Corps members would run away just by seeing it."
"Really...... I told him to refrain from excessive transformations since it makes him hungry quickly."
"I'm hungry!"
"Me too~!"
"Alright. Then shall we eat? I'll call 'Dad'."
"Wait."
Mayu grabbed Onii-chan's hem as he was about to go towards the bushes.
"It's better if Rei doesn't go."
"Huh? Why?"
Mayu answered Onii-chan, who opened his eyes wide in confusion.
"That guy, last time he was going around asking everyone what's the scariest thing, remember?"
Onii-chan seemed to remember upon hearing that and nodded, saying "Ah~".
"Now that you mention it, he did. Why?"
"You said then, 'Maybe something with lots of eyeballs.' He took that seriously and is now transformed into a form covered in eyeballs."
A thin scream leaked from Onii-chan's throat. His already pale face turned even whiter.
Even though Onii-chan seems to have nothing to fear, he apparently hates things with lots of eyeballs.
"I'll call him, so you just go inside the house, okay?"
Without waiting for an answer, Mayu disappeared into the bushes.
When she first came, Mayu was cold and prickly, but now she takes care of the family so well that it's hard to believe how she was then.
Of course, if such words reached her ears, she would clearly get angry, saying "It's because Rei is too carefree!"
I don't really know either. Why I nag Rei about this and that.
When I came here, I was indifferent to everything.
The family play, Rei.
I only reluctantly participated in the meaningless family play, and I didn't shout or nag like now. I didn't even think of shouting.
If I pointlessly meddle and get chased out, it would be troublesome, and above all, it was bothersome.
In the end, no matter what happened to the folks here, it wasn't my concern.
Drinking Rui's blood wasn't because I wanted to become family. It was just the minimum necessary means for weak me to become stronger.
Imitating Rui's cells and transforming is also just something I have to do to go along with this 'family play'.
I only need to live well for myself. If I don't starve and don't die, that's enough.
That was the only strength of will that a weak demon like me could boast.
......Surely, that should have been the case.
"Hey, brats! Don't steal Rei's pomegranates!"
"Eh~ but Rei said it's okay!"
"Just one!"
"No means no. You'll just spit it out saying it's tasteless anyway. Here, give it back to Rei!"
"Mayu, don't get so angry. I'm fine..."
"You be quiet, since you can't even eat humans!!"
......Why has it come to this.
Worrying about this guy won't benefit me even a drop of blood or a piece of flesh.
The one thing certain is that I became like this because of Rei.
Because of this soft man who, despite being a demon, doesn't eat humans, doesn't kill them, and instead only considers humans, my heart has been polluted. Or should I say the venom has drained away.
My own heart made me itch. Because I couldn't forgive such myself, I scraped out my self-hatred and shouted at Rei.
I hid the heart that considers others, worry, which should originally be soft and kind, with shouts and disguised it with thorny words. And as if that were my strength, I deceive myself and endure.
If my past self saw this, they would surely laugh at how pathetic I am.
"I like the current Mayu more."
Regarding the self I despise, Yukari said that. The gentle laughing eyes under the neatly cut bangs were the same color as mine. Rui's cell color.
It was the middle of the night. Rei, who had provided meals for the family, was asleep for recovery. At such times, we would come out to the veranda and talk quietly so as not to wake him.
"At first, he was just like a man living under the same roof. Even though he was next to me, it didn't feel like we were living together."
Well, of course.
Because to survive, I might use the family, but I had no intention of truly becoming family.
I have no memory of when I was human. I didn't feel sad about it, and I never missed having a family. So I looked at Rei and the others playing family with cold eyes.
What do they think they'll achieve by imitating humans. I only thought they were foolish.
But now it's like this. What on earth am I doing.
"......Even now, he's a stranger. If something happens, I'll immediately abandon you guys and run away."
"Huhu, saying that again. But the current Mayu, who doesn't hide what she wants to say, feels much more like family."
I turned my head towards Yukari, who laughed cheerfully, with a very displeased look.
Yukari, who came to this house before me, took care of me when I arrived late. Because of that, during conversations, she often acts like an older sister.
"I'm glad I can be sisters with Mayu."
Moreover, she smiled as if driving in a nail, so for me, who wants to remain a stranger, it was just troublesome.
"I decline being sisters with you."
"Oh my, why?"
"You're not reliable enough to call an older sister, and not cute enough to take as a younger sister... anyway, I don't like it."
Even if I sneered like that, Yukari didn't mind and just giggled.
Even though she's being treated like a fool, why is she laughing. She really is foolish.
As I made a dissatisfied face, Yukari suddenly seemed to remember something and said "Ah, right," rummaged through her sleeve, and showed a fist.
"I found it by the river."
On her opened palm were two translucent greenish stones. Their shapes and sizes were each different, but they had a faint glow as if moistened by moonlight.
"Pretty, right?"
"Well, I guess."
When Yukari proudly asked, I nodded indifferently, but to be honest, I thought they were beautiful. Annoyingly, Yukari seemed to have seen through my true feelings at once and raised her voice to the fullest.
"Then decided! I'm going to make this into a hair ornament."
I naturally thought it was an ornament for herself.
But a few days later, Yukari, absurdly, held out the hair ornament she had carefully made to me. She smiled, saying she would give me the ornament shaped and sized beautifully, so I had no choice but to be bewildered.
If she made it, she should use it herself.
I tried to return it, but Yukari instantly attached the ornament to my hair and clapped her hands happily, saying "It suits you well!"
I was about to tear it off and throw it on the ground, but I stopped.
It wasn't because I was happy with the gift, nor because Rei, who was passing by, praised me, saying "It looks good on you." It was just that my hair was long and I needed something to tie it with.
That's all. Really, that's all.
"Kuh, Mayu really loves making all sorts of excuses."
When asked where that hair ornament came from, I explained, and 'Brother' had a thoroughly cheerful expression on his face. A hateful face. The atmosphere of being excited about how to tease me was clear. No wonder he has no friends.
"If your hair bothers you, if you release the transformation, it'll be short, right? Why insist on not doing it? Huh? Huh?"
"To go along with the family play, I have to stay transformed."
"So dishonest."
"Shut up!"
I swung my palm, but 'Brother' lightly dodged. As he said, my real hair is short. Not even reaching my shoulders. The color isn't this light either.
If my real self wore this hair ornament, it would surely look so mismatched that I'd want to cry.
Maintaining the transformation consumes that much power and makes me hungry quickly.
If I'm worried about Rei, then at least I should stay in my real form. The reason I don't do that is probably...
"Yukari, here, I'll give this to you. Use it if you want."
"What's this? Oh, a hair ornament? Did you make it for me?!"
"Don't get the wrong idea. I made it for myself, but the shape is weird, and the size doesn't suit me, so it's just become unnecessary."
"Look, everyone! Mayu made this for me! It's a pair!"
"Wait, idiot! That's not it! I said it's not like that... uwaah, you guys! Don't giggle, you fools!!"
Even though I talk about being a stranger with my mouth, deep in my heart, I found this family lovable.
Tomorrow, the day after, and after that—— I wanted to continue being in this place.
"Onii-chan, going out again?"
"Yes, to look for blue spider lilies for a bit."
"Ah, Rei! If you're going out, take this."
I held out a bundle to Rei, who was about to leave the house. Inside was a pomegranate. It was brought by Nobuya during the day.
The season has long passed, but at Nobuya's house, pomegranates bore fruit surprisingly abundantly. But that's the end now. They say this is the last fruit of the year.
"Eat it outside. If I leave it until you return, it'll spoil."
"Thank you. I should bring back some souvenir or something."
"No need. Just don't pick up anyone next time."
"I'll be back~"
"Wait, answer!!"
It seemed that neither Dad nor Brother noticed that the barn wall had rotted and a hole had appeared. I hesitated to tell them, but if I open my mouth, both will get angry, so I remained silent.
I wondered when they would notice and stayed still, but no matter how long I waited, there was no sign of them noticing.
So, I must have had a momentary lapse.
"Wah......!"
Crawling out through a hole just big enough for one person to pass, the sky I looked up at for the first time in my life was so vast that my eyes couldn't follow.
While the night in the barn was so dark I couldn't see my own hand, the night outside was this bright. My gaze was stolen by the countless lights spread all over the sky.
Are those small lights stars? Then where is the moon? I heard from Mom that the moon is big and round, but there was no such thing.
More than that, I was curious about the name of that light that smiles slyly. It resembled the corner of Mom's mouth.
Come to think of it, Mom said. Dead people go to the sky. Then is that light Mom smiling at me?
"......Shall I go somewhere like this."
Somewhere.
For example, where Mom is.
Anyway, there's no use living. With hair like this.
Mom praised me, saying "It's a clean color," and comforted me, saying "There will be someone who accepts you." But even my real father and brother hate me, so there's no way a stranger would like me.
I was always alone.
So, yes. Let's die. Let's do that.
Dad hates me and Brother really dislikes me, but if I die, Dad makes a fuss saying the mountain will be defiled, so he doesn't try to kill me. Brother also is careful not to kill me when he hits me. So I have to kill myself.
How should I die? If I do what Mom said not to do because it's dangerous, can I die? Should I go into the river? Jump from a high place? And...
"......?"
While I was thinking of various ways to die, my ears detected that sound. The sound of stepping on dry leaves as if laughing. It's approaching this way.
It's the opposite direction from the house, so it's not Dad or Brother. Perhaps a bear.
A faint expectation bubbled up in my chest. Bears are one of the dangerous things Mom taught me. Yes, a bear might kill me.
I ran towards the sound. My bare feet, swollen with expectation, didn't mind stepping on stones hidden in the fallen leaves.
But its true form wasn't the big fluffy thing like Mom taught. It was a human. A man with skin so white it was eerie, and eye pupils redder than flames.
But more than the man's skin or eye pupils, my gaze was most stolen by his hair.
By that color, exactly the same as mine.
*
As soon as she saw my appearance, the girl let out a shriek.
It wasn't a scream. The girl's shout, with flushed cheeks, was a cry of joy.
"Snow white! You, you're just like me!"
As the excited girl jumped up and down, her hair, exactly like mine, shook.
Is this child human? Since her pupils are round, she must be human. Apart from demons, I've only seen this hair color in grandparents, so it's a fresh feeling for me too. By the way, the cult leader is grayish-white, so excluded.
I know well the feeling of excitement upon finding someone with the same color, but if you get too excited, people will come.
"You shouldn't make loud noises at night. Let's be quiet."
I put my finger in front of my face to caution her, and the girl hurriedly covered her mouth.
"I'm sorry. I was too happy."
The girl took two deep breaths and then looked up cautiously, watching my reaction.
"You mustn't tell anyone I was here. Keep it a secret. Otherwise, I'll get scolded."
"Yes, of course."
Rather, that's what I should say.
If this mountain is private property, then I'm an intruder who came to look for blue spider lilies. If I'm mistaken for a poacher and get shot with a shotgun, I can't laugh it off.
"That's a relief. Because of this hair, if others see me, it's said to disgrace the family."
The moment the girl said that and brushed her chest, I noticed. Part of her arm was discolored a pitiful purple.
Once I noticed one abnormality, the other wounds became visible one after another. Arm, hand, ankle. The bruised colors invading the white skin revealed from under her shabby clothes. If I remove her clothes, there would probably be more horrific wounds scattered.
Looking closely, the shape of her left pinky finger was also abnormal. A strange bend as if it broke and healed that way.
"You, that hand..."
"Ah, this? I got hit by Brother, so it's like this. It doesn't hurt much now, so it's okay."
The girl smiled as if it were nothing. In a tone as if a twig had broken. I unknowingly bit my lip tightly.
I know. That it hurts. I remember. Before being picked up by the cult leader, Yukiji often suffered that.
"......Are you being hit?"
Although sure of it, I asked carefully just in case, and the girl looked puzzled.
With a face that showed no sign of sadness about her situation, not doubting that being hit is natural, I felt like I would forget how to breathe.
"Yes, by Brother every day. He says it's because he's in a bad mood. But what does 'in a bad mood' mean? He doesn't tell me."
The girl's voice was suffocatingly pure.
"......Come here. There's a leaf good for bruises."
Even though Lord Muzan scolded me not to mingle with humans more than necessary, the girl's wounds were too pitiful, and I felt sorry for her who didn't mind them. I wanted to do something for her.
・
・
・
The girl's name was Mukago, she said.
"Spill over (零), remain (余), useless child (子). So it's Mukago."
Originally, she almost didn't even receive a name, but it seems that after Mukago's mother earnestly pleaded with her father, this name was allowed.
"Strange name, right? 'Spill over, remain, useless'—there's no 'Mu', 'Ka', or 'Go' anywhere."
Mukago's eye pupils aren't red like mine. She was just a child with white hair, but it seems that was enough of a disgusting abnormality to ordinary people.
"Here, if you apply this to the bruises, the pain will subside."
I applied the carefully crushed medicinal herb to the small hand full of wounds. Mukago brightened her face without showing any sign of disliking the grass smell.
"Thank you! At times like this, you say thank you, right? Mom taught me."
"Yes, it's commendable that you know how to say thank you."
The salvation for her, who is mistreated by her brother and father, must have been her mother who poured love on her.
She said her mother passed away when she was young, and it seems she would go to bed with Mukago every night so that Mukago, locked in the barn, wouldn't be lonely. She taught Mukago various things for her sake, since Mukago doesn't know the outside world.
"By the way, what's your name? Everyone has a name, right?"
"It's Rei."
"Rei. The 'rei' of ghost?"
"No, similar but. My name also uses the kanji for 'spill over'."
Saying that, I scratched the ground thirteen times with my long nail.
"It's this character. Mukago's 'Mu' also uses this character."
"Then we're not just the same in hair, but in name too."
——'Rui and Rei. Onii-chan and I are even similar in name!'
Looking at Mukago laughing innocently, I saw my younger brother from that time superimposed. Over such a trivial matter, I became unbearable.
Probably because her situation is similar to Yukiji's too. I thought I wanted to help.
But it's impossible. If I were human, if I were still a Demon Slayer Corps member, I could at least ask a suitable house with a wisteria crest to take her in, but now I'm a demon.
I have no connections to rely on, and I can't bring a human to our house where we restrain ourselves from eating humans.
"Rei, why did you come here?"
When I told her I came to look for blue spider lilies, Mukago tilted her head.
She doesn't seem to know what spider lilies are. If she's been confined, it's natural. But since her mother showed her, she seems to vaguely know what flowers are.
As repayment, Mukago followed me all night, helping me look for flowers.
Perhaps due to the camaraderie of having the same white hair, Mukago had no wariness towards me. She enjoyed the walk, which had nothing to see but stars and fallen leaves, from start to finish.
Without finding a way to help the excited girl who said it was her first time seeing the outside since birth, the dawn mercilessly arrived.
"Ah, I should go back soon."
"......How about running away instead of going back?"
I couldn't help but say that to Mukago, who was panicking upon seeing the sky faintly brightening in the distance.
Even though I know this child has nowhere to go, perhaps, like Yukiji who was picked up by the cult leader, she might have a connection somewhere. But Mukago shook her head.
"If I'm not in the barn, Dad and Brother will turn the whole mountain upside down looking for me. Then Rei would be in trouble too."
I told Mukago that if I'm exposed to sunlight, I'll die, so I hide in a nearby cave to avoid the sun.
"So I'll go back."
Mukago said decisively while smiling innocently. She was so dazzling that I couldn't do anything, couldn't say anything.
"Um. Can I come here again tomorrow?"
"Yes... alright, come."
Yay! Mukago raised both hands in joy, and her bruised arms were so thin that I regretted having already eaten the pomegranate Mayu packed for me.
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