My brother, who had eloped with a courtesan and disappeared, returned home. It was a night with no one around.
With the same selfish and shameless face as years ago, my brother brought a child with white hair and red eyes and,
"Take care of this for me."
he said, roughly pushing the child's back. 'This' must refer to the child. He was calling it like an object.
I didn't really want to ask, but according to my brother, he had already parted ways with the woman he eloped with, and this time he planned to live with another woman. So, the child from his previous relationship was just a nuisance, and he wanted me to take care of it.
My brother patted the child's white head and laughed as if joking, "With such creepy hair and eyes, it's only good for being a spectacle," but I couldn't laugh at all.
I naturally refused the request. It was a completely different matter from taking in a dog or cat. Even if it was blood-related, there were limits to cleaning up after him.
After my brother left home, I inherited the household and welcomed a wife, so I had my own family.
I couldn't use harsh words in front of the child, but when I got angry, my brother sneered. With a disgusting face, he smirked vulgarly and cast a lewd glance at my wife, who was sitting with us.
"It doesn't matter. I heard. This house has no children, right?"
It was unavoidable that I showered my brother, who was acting smug as if I should be grateful, with curses until my throat was raw.
The thought that I should restrain myself in front of the child had long since vanished from my consciousness. What husband wouldn't be enraged at the sight of his wife turning pale and shedding tears?
Perhaps not expecting such a fierce counterattack from his younger brother, my brother fled in panic.
After swallowing my anger while watching my brother's retreating back in a flurry, it was only a moment before I remembered what he had left behind, and now it was my turn to panic.
Good heavens... that damn bastard, he abandoned his own child and ran away.
Even if I tried to chase after him now, my brother had always been faster than anyone when it came to running away. He was already out of reach, even for curses.
"......I apologize for my father's imposition."
While I was wondering what to do with the abandoned child, the child bowed first. A polite attitude that was hard to believe came from my brother's offspring. A sincerely apologetic face.
Even though abandoned by his blood-related father, the child showed no tears or signs of sadness, maintaining a calm demeanor. Rather, a tired relief seemed to pass by, as if saying, 'Ah, finally we're apart.'
I felt pity for this heartless appearance that didn't regard the father as a father. The signs of weariness from hardship. The boy had a distant look in his eyes, as if he had long given up on parental love.
Having been too focused on my brother, I hadn't noticed, but the child's appearance was wretched. The kimono, which seemed forced onto him like an adult's old clothes, was almost rags, and the arms revealed from the sleeve ends were so thin they looked ready to break, with bones starkly visible.
I recalled my brother's bulging belly clad in ostentatious clothes. Indeed, this child must not have been treated properly. He must have lived a life where neither food nor clothing was decent.
"I apologize for the trouble. Well then."
An intelligent voice hard to believe inherited my brother's venomous blood. It felt more like seeing a dragon god born from an earthworm than a hawk from a kite.
I pitied this child who turned away without demanding any protection from adults, not even expecting it from the start. I only felt sorry for him.
My wife beside me tugged at my sleeve, saying, "Dear."
Ah, of course. I feel the same as you.
＊
"From today, we are your family."
"Eh, don't mind me."
Don't mind me at all, I mean it!
But my own claim was completely ignored, and I was adopted into my uncle's household. Hello.
Yes, as you might have guessed, I reincarnated.
Shabana Tsukuru is dead.
I was killed in the most miserable way in my life!
When I remembered my past life, I almost pissed myself, damn it!!!!
I managed to calm down, but it still occasionally appears in my dreams. Waking up screaming in the middle of the night and getting hit by my father is the standard routine!
First of all, I absolutely cannot forgive that demon bastard. Since it was revealed to be Upper Moon Two, I've added his annihilation to the goals of this life.
Unlike my past life, there's no issue with my lungs, so I can use Breathing Techniques. This time, I won't fall behind, and I won't forgive. I'll exterminate you on behalf of the moon! I'll carve my Moonlight Legend into your neck!!
By the way, you really killed me miserably. They called me Poison Shabana, but maybe you confused me because I experimented too much with drugs on demons. Wow, what a huge misunderstanding.
Don't make me laugh, you obese demon bastard. What's your cholesterol level? Have your head burst from a brain hemorrhage. It's not poison but medicine, call me Doctor Shabana, not Poison Shabana, you bastard. Worship, revere, and prostrate yourself. Bow in apology.
Ah, but come to think of it, that demon said, "That person~" So, perhaps Lord Muzan is under the same misunderstanding? Did I scare Lord Muzan?
Ah, damn... what should I do? I forgot that Muzan is unexpectedly a coward. Is it okay? Did he cry? Did he end up crying?
No, it's a misunderstanding. I was just researching medicine. I absolutely wasn't making poison to do something strange to Lord Muzan, I just wanted to return Lord Muzan from a demon to a human.
What if the misunderstanding reaches its peak and he says to cut ties? Ah, wait, tears are coming... even snot is coming out.
......Well, I'll continue the drug research, but in this life, I should do it quietly, secretly.
I'm also worried about Kyūtarō and Ume left behind after my death. Even if I try to follow the news, it's now the Meiji era. Much time has passed since the Edo era when the isolation policy was in full swing, so they must have lived out their lifespans.
I wanted to watch over them until they became adults, but as an inadequate guardian, I'm really sorry...... I tremble with anger at my own patheticness, and resentful tears welled up to the tip of my nose, forming bubbles. One on the right and one on the left, two in total.
Did both of them grieve after I died? But I believe they, being strong children, moved forward.
I'm also worried if they were targeted by demons because they were Shabana's disciples.
Kyūtarō said he would continue the research to turn demons back into humans, but honestly, it was okay to give up if it became dangerous. The Shabana family motto is "Cherish Life." I only hope that Lord Kagaya protected the two of them.
But speaking of Lord Kagaya, that medicine armor stolen by the samurai hired by the demon.
It's the so-called proof of genuine friendship that Shabana was Ubuyashiki's neighbor, and what was I doing letting it be stolen so carelessly? It's absolutely unforgivable.
If this was going to happen, I should have kept it in the household safe instead of carrying it around, but it's too late for regrets.
After losing an important item that should have been passed down through generations due to carelessness, I fell into depression for a while after reincarnating. I was a lump of self-hatred.
My self-hatred became so severe that I felt like an insignificant human like a water flea, and I almost gained something like a cosmic realization, wanting to become something sublime like a first-magnitude star twinkling in the night sky.
Worry about the cult leader also briefly crossed my mind, but the cult leader, despite appearances, is quite brazen, so he's probably fine.
However, it weighs on my heart that we parted saying "See you again" but I couldn't keep that promise. I want to apologize if I get the chance next time.
Dragging on such failures from my past life, things like dying in the parent gacha in this life no longer matter at all.
My mother couldn't endure my father's tyranny and left home before I grew up. I didn't receive love from my father, but since I was given minimal meals (one per day) and a place to sleep (a closet), by historical standards, it was rather average class. You could say he was on the gentle side.
In this life, except for slight signs of malnutrition, I was very healthy, so I planned to leave home at an appropriate time and set out to find demon slayers.
Since I had no affection for a man who brought women home from broad daylight to spend hot times, I could say goodbye lightly.
Carelessly letting the obscene voices of men and women flow by, I drew my life blueprint in the closet.
Become a demon slayer!
Research demon medicine!
Find Lord Muzan and Mother!
Return them to humans!
That's it!
I thought so, but who would have thought I'd be adopted by my uncle and aunt.
Moreover, this uncle and aunt are incredibly kind. It seems they had no children of their own, as they cherish me like their own child.
Ah, if I clumsily run away, won't it worry them? What should I do? I can't say goodbye easily. My life blueprint is full of miscalculations, isn't it!
So, how can I leave home? I wondered, but no good idea came to mind, and after dragging on for several months,
My aunt became pregnant.
She was three months pregnant, they said.
Upon this news, my aunt was overjoyed, my uncle was greatly excited, and the couple immersed themselves in great delight.
I could understand up to that point, but for some reason, both my uncle and aunt praised and petted me, even lifting me high.
When I was bewildered, thinking 'I didn't do anything...?' they spoke in unison—
"Thank you, it must be thanks to Rei that we got this child."
"Rei brought this child to us. Rei is an amazing child."
For reference, Rei (零) is my name in this life.
According to my father, after I was born, his financial luck suddenly started to worsen. So, the origin of the name is not the number zero but '零' as in 'decline'.
My name is always like this, past life and all. Since I was beaten by my biological father, I can't even use that famous line from a certain Gundam pilot. I was beaten, I only got hit by my father too!
The Ayaki family that adopted me is the largest textile wholesaler in the vicinity. There are many servants in the shop, and upon the news of my aunt's pregnancy, they too rejoiced, shouting hurrah.
I even received sweets from the head maid and manager, saying they worked hard. But I didn't do anything?!
Of course, the head maid and manager treat me normally, but other servants keep their distance, wary of me.
Half because white hair and red eyes are considered ominous, and half because of memories of being bullied by my father in the past.
Some openly hated me, saying, "Since he's that man's child." But as I helped with work, misunderstandings gradually cleared, and now only a very few genuinely dislike me.
For reference, in my past life, because I was a doctor, I hid my white hair and red eyes, but in this life, I don't hide them.
Unlike my past life where I had to treat patients, in this life, I basically have no reason to leave the Ayaki family mansion.
Regarding the point that I could be targeted by demons, I appealed to my uncle, "I have experience being chased by a pervert with an unusual obsession with white hair and red eyes, so please keep my appearance a secret!" and an immediate gag order was issued.
My existence is a secret. They say you can't stop people's mouths, but I want to believe that this ensures safety for the time being.
——While living like that, the baby grew vigorously in my aunt's womb and smoothly reached full term, and the birth, which I expected to be difficult due to it being the first, surprisingly ended smoothly.
Since it was his wife's first birth, my uncle turned pale and entered manner mode, so while comforting him in the next room, the midwife came to calmly announce, "It's born."
Rushing to the room, the newborn baby was held in my aunt's arms. Immediately, my uncle's pale manner mode changed to a vibrating emotion mixed with sobs.
With my uncle crying face-down on the tatami, my aunt called me.
"Rei, want to hold it?"
Drawn by those words, the baby I held was soft and smooth, and though small, it was weighty. It was the weight of life.
"Rei, you're an older brother from today."
Amid my aunt's chuckling, I could only nod, overwhelmed.
What should I do? My uncle cried so much that tears transferred to me too.
The postpartum progress was good for both the mother and child.
The cousin six years younger, who safely reached the seventh day, was given the name Rui (累).
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Rui had a weak body. It was congenital.
If he got even a little excited, he would cough, and not to mention running, even walking made him short of breath and collapse. If it were a disease solvable with medicine, it would have been good, but unfortunately, it was a constitutional problem.
Rui's body was frail with low immunity, so he easily caught illnesses. However, if he rested, at least it wouldn't get worse, so from around the time he became sensible, he was forced to live a life on the futon.
Seeing Rui's dejected figure, hunched over at the voices of children playing beyond the wall, overlapped with Lord Muzan, so I recalled those times and took care of Rui in various ways.
Instead of flowing somen from long ago, flowing flowers. When I showed it to young Rui on a hot summer day, he clapped his hands happily.
When I floated a small boat made of bamboo craft, he laughed gleefully and seemed excited, and I was glad it comforted him even a little.
Besides that, I read books to him, helped with studies, enjoyed indoor games that Rui could do together, and sometimes carried him on my back for garden walks.
Rui, who easily fell ill, often relied on medicine. It was effective but terribly bitter. I wish I could make it for him, but the doctor taking care of Rui was skilled, so I couldn't presumptuously step in.
All I could do was give him candy as a 'good job' reward for drinking the medicine well.
The candy I made with care, borrowing the kitchen from the head maid, was not inferior in taste even compared to the Shabana era. I miss the times when I coaxed children who threw tantrums saying they hated bitter medicine by saying, "If you drink it all, I'll give you this."
It was so popular that children even feigned illness for the candy, and it was a secret recipe I only taught to Kyūtarō and Ume.
When I served it to the maids too, they praised it. It's also Rui's favorite snack.
But I keep the candy a secret from my uncle and aunt. I was worried I might get scolded for giving too much sweet, and I thought they might worry if they knew I used fire.
Rui followed me well. So, including my uncle and aunt, the people around me had me assist in the education of Rui, who would become the future successor of the Ayaki family. In other words, commercial studies.
With this appearance, I can't go outside, but I learned roughly all the back-office tasks.
Honestly, it was also troublesome. Because I planned to run away from this house at an appropriate time and become a demon slayer. I also wanted to continue researching medicine to turn demons back into humans.
In my past life, since I was a doctor, I never lacked materials, but in this life, circumstances are different, so research is nooooot progressing at all. Medicine ingredients are expensive, damn it! It's not a simple research that can proceed with armchair theories!
Instead of being unable to do drug research, I trained every day without fail to become a demon slayer. As if venting the grudges left unfinished in my past life, I swung a suitable tree branch every night. On the roof.
Why on the roof and not the garden? Because the Ayaki family mansion is large with many servants, so even at night, people are watching from somewhere.
In this house, I act meekly like a borrowed cat, so if I did something like swordsmanship training, I don't know what I'd be told.
As a last resort, training on the roof, but since rumors once spread that the house was creaking loudly, recently I've been training while minding my torso to muffle footsteps. It feels a bit like becoming a ninja.
"Brother."
That day, after finishing training and about to go to bed, a quiet voice called from beyond the sliding door. It was Rui.
Even though a mean clerk specifically taught him that I wasn't his real brother, Rui still called me brother.
"What's wrong, Rui? Can't sleep?"
"Yeah. Tell me anything."
What older brother would refuse the lisping request of a cousin who turned five last month, none exist (irony).
"Okay." When I called him in, Rui scrambled into the futon and let out a sigh. How is it, warm and cozy?
With Total Concentration Breathing engraved in my body, I'm literally a human hot pack. The high body temperature that put the cult leader to sleep in three seconds must be appreciated by Rui, who is frail and sensitive to cold.
"What story should I tell?"
"Hmm, continue the Bamboo Forest Expedition story."
"That won't do. You'll get too excited and won't sleep."
"Aww~ not really."
Rui grumbled, but it's true.
During the Shabana era, as a joke, I told it to Ume, and she got so excited and hyper that I kept telling it as she asked, and we ended up greeting the morning.
After that, by Kyūtarō's order, telling the Bamboo Forest Expedition story at night was banned.
I told Rui up to where the expedition leader encountered the six-eyed monster.
For reference, the subsequent story is a shockingly exciting development where the six-eyed monster was actually the expedition leader's master transformed by ancient civilization power, so I couldn't tell it before bed.
"Instead, want me to tell the Princess Kagaya story?"
When I suggested that, Rui's cuteness as he puffed his cheeks saying, "Oh well, no choice~"
Patting his small body, I told the Princess Kagaya story translated into modern language for a child to understand easily. After all, old words like 'it was' or 'I will say' are too difficult for a child who just learned hiragana.
When I reached the part where Princess Kagaya returned to the moon and the emperor didn't drink the elixir of immortality received from her but burned it, Rui made a puzzled face.
"Why didn't the emperor drink the medicine?"
"He thought it was useless to live alone without Princess Kagaya."
"But if he lived long, couldn't he meet her someday? Maybe he could have gone to the moon."
"......The emperor riding Apollo 11."
"?"
Stroking Rui's head as he tilted it, I brushed it off as nothing.
"Brother, would you drink the medicine?"
"I don't want to drink it."
"Why?"
"Because if you become immortal, you can't enjoy life."
Life is written with 'person' (人) and 'live' (生).
Life and death are opposites yet closely connected, and if death disappears, life also disappears.
Life shoulders death, death points a blade at life's nape, and life tries to advance to its destination before being killed by death.
Without death, life cannot walk, and not dying is no different from not living.
Somehow it became philosophical, but in conclusion, I want to fully enjoy life as a human.
When young, play a lot; when adult, love and marry to have children; when a grandfather, chat with friends over tea about old times; finally, die peacefully on the tatami surrounded by grandchildren, laughing.
It's a really common wish, but I haven't achieved that common thing yet. To die in my 20s no matter how long I lived, I can't even laugh.
Aside from returning Lord Muzan and Mother to normal, I haven't even experienced love or marriage!
Ah, about children, thanks to Kyūtarō and Ume, it was achieved. They're our house kids. I'll accept objections, but no need for words. Let's settle it with fists.
"Enjoy life?"
"Children have children's ways, adults have adults' ways, elders have elders' ways of enjoying."
"How do children enjoy?"
As sleepiness gradually came, Rui's eyes began to close. Stroking those slender shoulders gently, I answered as if singing a lullaby.
"Sleeping well, playing well, eating well, I guess."
"Then...... tomorrow, you have to play with me a lot, okay......"
"Yeah, want to do string figures you like?"
"Ehehe, yay......"
"Well then, sleep well."
"Yeah, good night......"
With those final words, Rui slowly lowered his eyelids and began to make regular breathing sounds. Stroking the curly hair resembling my uncle's, I too closed my eyes.
Rui's body is weak, but by my judgment, once he grows to some extent, his physical condition will stabilize. The tendency to easily get ill is worrying, but since the doctor taking care of him is skilled, there's nothing to worry about.
Even so, I worry about this child and still can't leave home.
Sorry to Lord Muzan, but I just can't abandon this younger brother.
It must be because this child's situation resembles his so much.
Leaving this house to become a demon slayer is a decided matter. That will doesn't waver. But I decided to postpone it just until Rui's illness stabilizes.
By then, parting will surely be so hard I'll cry, but I want to say a proper goodbye and leave without regrets.
While thinking that, I too fell into slumber. After recalling Tsukuru's memories, falling asleep was frightening. I was scared of dreaming about my death.
But after coming to this house, I can sleep peacefully. Especially with Rui, strangely, I don't have nightmares.
Even though I say I worry about Rui, in the end, the one most saved is me.
To my uncle, my aunt, Rui. To this house full of happiness that makes me want to cry.
But such happiness collapsed in a foolishly futile way.
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