"Kanae and Shinobu have passed the Final Selection."
It was when I was looking at the garden of the Ubuyashiki mansion, where fading plum blossoms were scattering lonely.
From the silence that fell after the conversation ceased, Himejima's low muttering flowed out.
His voice, mixed with relief that they had survived the selection and anxiety about them becoming Demon Slayers, resembled the current season standing on the border between winter and spring.
"It's fortunate that both of them passed."
"Yes, but the truly difficult part is from now on. ...Especially for Shinobu."
"Is something wrong with Shinobu?"
"......No matter how much she trained, she couldn't develop the physical strength to cut a demon's neck. She also lacks the power to put speed into her sword. I heard she even struggles to swing a sword."
Since a normal Nichirin Blade is too heavy for her to swing, she asked her assigned swordsmith to make her a sword as light and small as possible.
Then, how did Shinobu, who can't properly handle a sword, pass the Final Selection?
"I heard she passed the selection by making poison that kills demons and coating her sword with it. It seems that while her cutting power is weak, there was some hope in her thrusting strength."
"Poison that kills demons?! That's amazing!"
Brewing poison to kill demons is incredibly difficult. In the Shabana era, Kyūtarō tried making it as a test but failed repeatedly.
To intentionally and accurately create such poison, Shinobu is really smart. Maybe she inherited Nobuya's blood. She must have talent in pharmacology.
I'm jealous. She's completely different from me, who only mass-produced failures of medicine to turn demons back into humans.
For reference, the medicine research is still ongoing, with trial and error alongside the poison Mom makes. I once cut off half of Upper Rank Six's body during a past mission, and I've gratefully recovered and used it for research.
Every time a new medicine is completed, I administer it to demons, but it still only has an instant death effect. Damn it.
"It's innovative but a troublesome fighting style. I heard she has to apply new poison every time she uses her sword. ......I hope nothing goes wrong."
Tears of anxiety flowed from Himejima's white eyes. The sound of rosary beads clattering came from between his hands clasped as if in prayer.
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My fighting style using poison is not 'normal'. It's 'abnormal'.
And 'abnormal' things are not easily accepted in any era or place.
"You're a nuisance just for existing! Something like you!!"
So, I wasn't particularly surprised to hear such words. I had prepared myself to hear them someday as a member who can't cut demons.
But whether I listen to those words obediently depends on the opponent. If it was due to my mistake that put the unit in danger, I would have endured and reflected no matter how unpleasant the words were.
But this time, it wasn't like that.
"......Certainly, my fighting style is special. But I have no reason to hear such words from you."
When I coldly retorted, the male member's face instantly turned red. Swatting away the hand that tried to grab my collar in anger, I continued speaking, forcing myself to remain calm.
"Who's the nuisance, ignoring the standby order and rushing out on your own, throwing everyone into chaos? It's a miracle there were no fatalities."
This mission was an investigation of a nearby mountain. Yes, just an 'investigation'.
For lower-ranked members like us, the plan was to not act rashly even if we found a demon, but to wait until higher-ranked members arrived and then exterminate it. But this male member acted on his own.
"What if the demon escapes while we just wait! I responded flexibly! It was a demon I could cut!"
The surrounding members watched us anxiously, fidgeting, but I had no intention of stopping the argument. If I don't argue back with this man, I won't feel satisfied.
"But you couldn't cut it in the end. Have you forgotten that the opponent dodged your first strike? The reason you could cut the demon was because I weakened it with poison."
"Weakened it? Don't act so high and mighty! You said it was poison that kills demons? Then why didn't the demon die!"
At those words, I was momentarily speechless.
"......I change the composition of the poison according to the demon. At that time, because you suddenly rushed out, I had no time to apply the poison again──"
I was prepared to refute any words. But.
"Don't make excuses! Do you think there's room for that on the battlefield!! You bug who can't even cut a neck!!"
──I couldn't refute anything.
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'Don't make excuses'
After the mission, those words kept swirling in my head.
Even after returning home, while eating, bathing, sleeping, even now while preparing new poison.
"Shinobu, your face is dark. Did something happen?"
"...It's nothing."
"Nothing, you say. Then what are these wrinkles on your forehead~?"
My sister playfully pressed and rubbed my forehead.
"Shinobu's wrinkles~ wrinkles~ fly away~!"
"Really. Stop it, sis."
As if trying to blow away the darkness inside me, my sister brightly waved her fingers. The tips of her hands stretched toward the sky had a firmness familiar with swords, unlike when she learned tea ceremony, flower arrangement, or instruments.
Normally, I would have cheered up and smiled at that sight, but now all that flowed from my mouth was a bitter laugh.
"It's really nothing. Making poison is tough, so I'm a little tired, that's all."
Holding a mortar containing wisteria flowers and poisonous herbs, I brushed it off with a plausible lie. My sister, perhaps noticing my feeble lie, sadly drooped her eyebrows but didn't ask further. She just quietly leaned against me.
"That's right. You have to make a lot, so it's hard."
"......Yes."
"And there are so many types, right? Since you have to make them all differently, Shinobu is really working hard."
"......Yes. Thank you, sis."
Normally, my sister's voice, which would soothe my heart, now felt unnecessarily irritating to me.
Don't make excuses. Don't make excuses. Don't make excuses. That member's voice revived in my ears again and again.
Was I really making excuses?
I thought if I couldn't cut a demon's neck, I could kill it with poison, but was that ultimately an excuse?
The poison I created to compensate for my lack of physical strength, perhaps it was poison that made me make excuses.
No matter how much I trained, I couldn't develop the physical strength to cut a demon's neck. Even now after creating poison, I don't neglect training, but with this small body and low height, there were limits.
......Or is not being able to overcome those limits exactly what making excuses is? Is my effort insufficient?
"Ah, right! I have a good idea for Shinobu!"
"Huh?"
Just as I was about to sink into dark thoughts, my sister clapped her hands.
"Let's go to Kōgetsu's mansion. I hear he's also researching demons. He has a dedicated laboratory, and there are various tools there, they say."
"Huh, huh...?"
"If we borrow those tools, wouldn't it be much easier for Shinobu to make poison?"
"N-no, that's not! I'll only be a bother!"
My only conversation with Kōgetsu was at Himejima's house. But even in that short time, I could understand his personality well enough.
If I ask to borrow tools, the kind-hearted Kōgetsu would surely lend them readily. He might even let me use the laboratory freely.
But that's not allowed.
Because that's making excuses.
What I hate the most right now.
"Kōgetsu is a Hashira! He won't have the leisure to care about a Kinoe-ranked member!"
"Rank this, Hashira that, Kōgetsu won't care about such things. Let's just go see. If it doesn't work, we can think again then, okay?"
I desperately opposed and resisted, but I couldn't win against my tall sister.
My sister eventually forcibly dragged me to the Moon Hashira's mansion. Even meticulously packing the poison ingredients together.
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"Experiment tools? Sure, sure, use them as much as you like. Want to use the laboratory too?"
As expected, Kōgetsu welcomed us readily.
Beside my sister who smiled and thanked him, I bowed my head with a bitter feeling. I hated myself for ending up relying on his kindness.
"It's narrow and messy, but... come in."
"Excuse us."
The moment I stepped into the guided laboratory, a nostalgic smell filled my lungs. It was the bitter fragrance of medicine that I often smelled in my father's workshop.
Tall medicine drawers filled the walls. On glass shelves, various experiment tools were placed, and on the research table, containers with various liquids were lined up, as if in the middle of an experiment.
Besides that, a bunch of tools whose identity I couldn't grasp, not even a sense of how to use them.
"What do you need?"
"Uh, that..."
Overwhelmed by tools whose names I didn't even know, I stood dazed and speechless. I came to borrow tools, but I don't know their names or how to use them. With this, I really am just here to be a nuisance.
"Wow, amazing! They're all things I've never seen before!"
Unlike me with a pale face, fidgeting, my sister was annoyingly innocent.
"What's this thing with a tube? Must be from across the sea. How do you use it?"
"It's called a microscope. It's a tool that lets you see tiny things with the naked eye, but... ah."
Suddenly, Kōgetsu let out a short cry and looked back at me, seeming flustered.
"Sorry. You were surprised by all the unfamiliar tools, right?"
"No, it's me who lacks study... I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'll go back now."
"Ah~ wait wait, don't go! I, I wanted to ask Shinobu something."
"......Me?"
What could he want to ask me, who doesn't even know the names of the tools properly?
"The formula for poison that kills demons, if it's okay, could you tell me? I want to use it as reference for my research. If you tell me the formula, I'll lend you tools that match it, so please!"
Even though I should be the one asking for guidance, Kōgetsu's attitude was the complete opposite.
Looking at that face anxiously asking 'Is it okay?' I couldn't say 'No'. Kōgetsu is a good person, but this aspect is somewhat unfair.
"......Yes, it's fine."
When I nodded, Kōgetsu clenched his fist and said, "Great!"
──Thanks to the tools Kōgetsu brought out one by one, the poison making was surprisingly smooth. I could make more types of poison in a much shorter time than usual.
The person most pleased by that fact was my sister, but she isn't here now. Because a message came from a crow, and she left midway.
"Thank you, Kōgetsu. It was really a big help."
To maintain boundaries as a Kinoe-ranked member, I used honorifics, but due to Kōgetsu's earnest request, I stopped now. He asked me to speak comfortably, saying it felt lonely with distance.
"I'm the one who should thank you. It gave good stimulation to my research."
While helping transfer the finished poison into bottles, Kōgetsu smiled.
His research is to make medicine that turns demons back into humans, he said.
My sister, who sees demons as pitiful beings and sympathizes with them, smiled gently and said, "It's wonderful research." But I couldn't agree with those words. To be honest, I looked at the two with mixed feelings.
Demons eat people. Demons like Teacher Rei that my father spoke of don't exist in reality.
Even if a demon returns to being human, the people already dead won't come back. My parents won't come back either.
Man-eating demons should die as man-eating demons, as murderers. So I make poison. I kill demons.
"From now on, you can use this place freely. I'll give you a spare key later."
"I can't make excuses to that extent..."
"But this is much more efficient, right? Ah, while at it, I'll explain the other tools too."
Ignoring my refusal, Kōgetsu lined up several tools on the desk and explained their usage one by one.
Even though he, as the owner, must have his own research or training, Kōgetsu was a genius at making people make excuses. He was my natural enemy now that I need to abandon excuses.
Maybe that's why.
"I wish I had a sword like this."
Looking at a glass tube with a sharp needle at the end—a medical tool used to draw blood or inject medicine—the inner thoughts I couldn't even tell my sister unintentionally flowed out.
"A syringe-like sword? One that injects poison just by stabbing?"
"Yes. Then I wouldn't have to apply poison to the sword each time."
I speak as brightly as possible. As if it were a funny imagination. Like a child talking about an absurd dream.
"And I could change the poison combination every time I put it in the sheath, and make poison instantly according to the demon."
"Instantly? That's cool. Amazing."
"Right? On the battlefield, there's no leisure to apply additional poison. If I had such a sword, I could also──"
......What am I even saying?
Despite not being able to properly cut a single demon's neck, I'm good at complaining.
The words couldn't continue. My throat choked with wretchedness. I hated myself, who is insufficient no matter how hard I try, enough to want to scream.
"......I see. So Shinobu was having such worries."
I wanted to shake off the hand gently stroking my hair, but because it reminded me of my father, my hand wouldn't move. I sank into a pathetic longing. The suppressed emotions burst out along with tears.
"I want to cut if I could cut. I make poison because I can't. I don't sleep, thinking desperately, preparing feverishly... I know, it's a troublesome fighting style. That cutting the neck is the fastest. I know that best!!"
I'm ashamed of myself for crying in front of Kōgetsu, even though I clearly know what will happen.
It's no different from saying comfort me, let me make excuses, acknowledge my efforts.
"Even if they call me a burden, even if they tell me not to make excuses, this is the only fighting style I have!!"
After pouring out all the words in my heart, I covered my face and crouched down. Ashamed of myself sobbing, I wanted to shrink and disappear like this.
"Shinobu."
In time with my crying, Kōgetsu gently placed a hand on my shoulder, trembling finely.
And he shouted.
"Want to go to a hot spring?!"
"What???"
With a loud voice enough to blow away my tears at once, words that didn't match the context at all.
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"I'm sorry for the sudden request. Tetchin, could you make a sword for this Kochō member──"
"I'll do it!!!!!"
"The speed of your answer is completely different from when I ask!!!"
This perverted old man, he definitely exploded with motivation after seeing Shinobu's face!
Looking at the village chief blowing steam from his hyottoko mask like a steam engine, I barely resisted clicking my tongue. Damn it, I asked for my sword too, please take good care of it!!
Shinobu, who came to the swordsmith village, was at a loss. With an anxious face, she watched Tetchin's reaction, wondering if she could really get the sword she wanted.
"It's fine, it's fine~ I have the best skills in the village. Any crafting is a piece of cake. Rather, the swordsmith's soul is burning fiercely."
"But... it's too absurd, a really joke-like sword."
"It's fine. Much more realistic than a sword with ridiculous demands piled on by some Hashira. Just leave it to me."
"To make such an unreasonable request to Tetchin, that must be a preposterous Hashira!"
"He's right in front of me. Should I bring a mirror?"
I know. It's a joke. A Moon Hashira joke.
For reference, my sword making is progressing so-so, he said. It seems a satisfactory result will come out soon, so when it's completed, he said to try swinging it yourself.
After that, he said they'll incorporate improvements or opinions and enter full-scale detailed adjustments. Thanks.
"The young lady's sword will take about ten days. Until then, soak in a hot spring or wait leisurely."
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"I'm sorry."
When we left the chief's mansion and were walking down the street smelling of sulfur, Shinobu beside me whispered quietly.
"As a Kinoe-ranked member, I have no qualification to request a sword from the village chief, but borrowing Kōgetsu's... Hashira's position to make excuses, I'm really sorry."
I don't know what happened, but Shinobu shows quite a sensitive reaction to the words 'make excuses'. She showed no sign of joy even though she's getting a custom sword.
"Oh my. I didn't accept excuses, I merely cooperated."
"You just changed the wording."
"It's completely different. If Shinobu, who uses poison, fights more comfortably, the overall combat power of the Demon Slayer Corps will greatly increase. Shinobu's poison has that much value."
Not being able to cut a demon's neck is fatal as a swordsman, but the poison she creates is powerful enough to compensate for that and more.
What's wrong with asking to make a weapon that can maximize that true worth, her strength?
Himejima also has a custom weapon to perceive space through sound since he can't see. It's the same principle.
"Making poison that kills demons is really an amazing thing. Tremendous talent and effort. I don't know who said what, but Shinobu is working hard. Really, incredibly hard. It's only natural to give help to such effort, not an excuse."
Even if she lacks the physical strength to cut a demon's neck, Shinobu's combat power is by no means low.
With light movements, she toys with demons, and her thrusting techniques are said to be outstanding enough that you can't take your eyes off, as Makomo said. That master of the Droplet Thrust. That means her growth potential is great.
Those who see are seeing properly. They acknowledge Shinobu. I hope she isn't swayed by some guys' slander.
"Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee. That kind of fighting style exists too. So have confidence, and I hope you return to the Shinobu who hates to lose."
"...Is hating to lose a compliment?"
Shinobu slightly lowered her eyebrows and smiled a bitter smile as if tickled.
"It's a compliment. When I say 'hate to lose', it means you have that much will to win."
"What's that, weird. But... thank you."
"Yes, that's it."
When I pointed at her with my finger, Shinobu flustered.
"I prefer hearing 'thank you' over 'I'm sorry'."
Continuing those words, Shinobu's eyes opened wide. Those round pupils slowly, moistly melted like spring snow.
"Yes, really thank you. Kōgetsu."
The girl who pulled her shoulders back as if to hide her small body and made a fierce expression to conceal her youthfulness finally smiled softly at that moment.
In a manner befitting a still young and lovely eleven-year-old girl.
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