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Chapter 30: I Still Don't Want to Die (6)

Tsukuru, who went out for a house call in the dead of night, became a person who would never return.


The corpse left at the village outskirts was truly wretched beyond compare. Limbs torn off, entrails dug out, even neck lost, a horrific appearance as if condensing all the world's evil.


Over the faceless corpse not even retaining its original shape, the one who decisively concluded it was Tsukuru was none other than Kyūtarō.


He didn't show Ume. Couldn't show. Didn't want to show.


The fact he had fallen to such a lump of flesh, knowing that himself was enough.


The cremated remains were buried behind the house. Winter so no flowers to offer, Ume made small snow rabbits daily to present.


Entrusting a letter to the crow that flew to the house, also conveyed Tsukuru's obituary to Ubuyashiki.


Beside Tsukuru's corpse were the medicine box always carried and bamboo canteen containing demon medicine inside his bosom, but the medicine case most cherished, received from Ubuyashiki, wasn't found however searched.


That fact wasn't told to Ubuyashiki. Fear that saying meaninglessly lost what was kindly given might cause disappointment.


Judging from Tsukuru's corpse damage degree, perpetrator undoubtedly demon was Ubuyashiki side's judgment. Kyūtarō also half agreed, but strange sword marks remaining on back and hand bothered, couldn't easily nod.


If crime targeting Shabana, suggestion to evacuate to Ubuyashiki residence since both Kyūtarō and Ume remaining home dangerous, but both shook heads. Because if chance for revenge, absolutely couldn't miss.


Come if you will.


Will take back again.


Will collect even Tsukuru's share.


Kyūtarō never felt his name's meaning so intensely as this day.


Received consideration saying if not evacuate, at least attach guards, but refused this too. Ubuyashiki family traditionally doesn't place guards. Then neighbor Shabana also following that principle fair, right. Tsukuru surely would have decided so.


The father and brother who took them in, raised with love.


The world robbed of him looked so sorrowful and faded, but even so morning comes and night comes.


So had to stand up again. Time only flows leaving two behind, doesn't give comfort or such.


Kyūtarō, with heart to protect younger sister, wiped tears first than anyone. But younger sister who was crybaby and acted willful also soon hid tears, tried smiling as usual. Because Tsukuru once said smiling face prettier than crying face.


Taking his words as will, watching younger sister trying hard to be strong and brave, Kyūtarō again wet cheeks thought already dried.


"Then big brother, have a safe trip."


"Yeah, Ume hang in there too."


Around this time, winter also deepened further, morning cold biting as if gnawing flesh. Exhaling white breath, siblings waved hands at each other before pleasure quarters.


After Tsukuru died, Ume began working at this pleasure quarters.


Not abandoning intention to succeed Shabana together with big brother. But to save money. If medicine case not found however searched, by chance passed to pawnshop, thought money needed to reclaim, decided two divide earning.


Kyūtarō as Shabana's physician, Ume as pleasure quarters worker.


Frankly speaking, Ume prepared resolve to sell body as courtesan. Thought that way could earn more money. But pleasure quarters owner didn't permit.


That owner also Tsukuru's patient, at Ume's words becoming courtesan, with bitter face briefly spat one phrase.


"No. Shabana wouldn't permit."


The Shabana he spoke of was Tsukuru. Pleasure quarters owner buying and selling women often received contempt as profit-seeker forgetting virtue, but this owner seemed to have forgotten two or three things less. Grateful thing. To owner too, to Tsukuru who left world, siblings bowed heads with all heart.


Ume, wearing hairpin received from Tsukuru and apron, worked diligently without rest.


Things learned from Tsukuru and big brother, things praised──treasuring all that, acting kindly, pleasure quarters people also treated Ume kindly. Because owed debt to Tsukuru who examined not just owner but courtesans and customers.


If customer with bad conduct tried bad thing to Ume, young men immediately intervened, and courtesans also whenever had time taught arts treating like younger sister.


Ume weak in literary studies, but in arts displayed counted sense. Dazzling talent enough for surroundings to sigh regretting not becoming courtesan.


Pleasure quarters place where fear lurks behind splendor. But here alone somewhat softer and warmer than other quarters, so Kyūtarō also could entrust Ume with peace.


The world where precious one disappeared painful and sad, but let's live treasuring kindness he left.


Let's carry on Shabana's will forward, pass to later generations.


Because two promised so.


But however walk forward.


Hell always, beneath feet.


*


Ume couldn't take eyes off. Even forgot blinking.


Just gazing blankly at object hung on that man's belt.


"If money, I'll pay."


Incident on way home after finishing work before sunset. Choosing less-traveled path as shortcut was cause. Dragged by man's arm suddenly stretching from side, instantly pulled into dark corner.


"Five ryō enough? Ten ryō? For pleasure quarters maid, money turning eyes upside down, right?"


Man pulling Ume approached blowing rough breath. Young samurai with topknot. Excited fishy breath touches face. But current Ume no leisure mind such things.


Ume just stared piercingly.


Just engraved in eyes treasure beautifully decorated with mother-of-pearl work, only one in world.


Big brother's words cross mind.


Sword marks on Tsukuru's back and hand not there while alive.


Man before eyes now carries sword.


In head, click, sound of something meshing heard.


"Easy thing just lying down. With that can earn money, how good thing?"


From deep inside heart, anger flared. Regardless winter's cold, girl heated whole heart with hatred.


Ignoring samurai still listing money talk, Ume pulled out hairpin. Hair flowing behind like silk, white hair tinged faint light green toward ends. In darkness spread evening glow, girl's hair shone pale.


Man at that sight flushed face entranced, but soon under some delusion, vulgarly grinned, stretched greedy hand toward girl's body.


Ume didn't brush off that disgusting snail-like hand.


Just strongly, even more strongly grasping hairpin, smiled bewitching smile.


"Give it back."


Smile desperate like plum blossom scattered in gust.


*


Black human shadow rolled fallen into pit.


Why could recognize it as younger sister, don't know.


Familiar kimono, fine face, long hair, tender body all burned black, but Kyūtarō instantly intuited it was younger sister.


Returning home, younger sister who should have come long ago not visible. Ominous premonition grazed. Not even putting down sickle used for gathering, Kyūtarō without hesitation ran to Yoshiwara.


And heard unbelievable story. That Ume stabbed man's eye. Man losing one eye, mad with anger, dragged Ume somewhere.


Why Ume committed such act not known, but not few defended her saying surely man made unreasonable demand. But opponent samurai, taking Ume hostage swung sword, skillfully fled.


Rejecting surroundings' dissuasion, Kyūtarō ran to Rashōmon riverside without distinguishing front back.


Why that place specifically, don't know. Just intuition. Most terrible things in his life all condensed there.


And there, he discovered most beloved younger sister.


There was Ume with changed appearance.


Screaming, embraced younger sister's body. Black burned lump of flesh still had breath, but physician Kyūtarō knew better than anyone couldn't survive. Left medicine box at home, couldn't even take comforting measures.


Shedding tears like waterfall, looked up at sky. Cursed god, resented Buddha. Everything in world disgusting.


Why take not just Tsukuru but Ume too. Why collect everything only from our family. What did we do wrong. Why not leave us happy. Are we not allowed be happy.


Moment shouting, tearing-like pain assaulted back. Rolling fallen into pit holding Ume, voice of someone from behind.


"This one without mistake?"


"Yes, so it is."


Unfamiliar man and woman's voices. No, man's voice familiar.


That night, the very samurai who took Tsukuru saying wife critical.


"If Shabana's medicine disappears, owner also ends... Thank you. Eyesore-like shop will disappear with this."


"Thanks not needed. Prepare reward first."


"Yes, yes. Will bring girl soon. Our house has many young pretty children, samurai-sama also will satisfy."


Prone in pit, Kyūtarō rolled pupils looked back.


And realized. Why Ume stabbed man's eye, that reason.


At man's waist, mother-of-pearl medicine case shining unbecomingly hung.


Instant, whole body's blood boiled. Anger covered heart. Knowing opponent not demon but human, couldn't suppress this passion. Kyūtarō tightly gripping sickle roared as if overflowing.


"It was youuuuu!!!"


That was shout shaking whole body like eruption of hatred.


Kyūtarō squeezing last strength with dying body, leaping over man's head like acrobat. Sharply honed sickle mercilessly split vertically topknot-twisted head. Woman at that sight legs gave out, screaming crawled madly.


Kyūtarō tore medicine case from man's corpse.


This is Tsukuru's. Mine, Ume's, our Shabana's.


Back pouring blood as if spilling, Kyūtarō tightly holding Ume walked out.


Wanted return. Wanted return home apologize to Tsukuru. For dying unable to succeed Shabana's will, for not keeping promise, for killing person with hands taught save people——wanted apologize to soil where his fragments sleep.


Ume's breath touching nape gradually thinned. Kyūtarō's blood also flowed not knowing stop, finally legs lost strength. Meaninglessly world tilted, with Ume held in arms, fell on snow path far from house.


Holding younger sister burned black, closed both eyes. Tear stream flowed down cheek.


Losing Tsukuru, unable protect Ume too, own light also fading——within kaleidoscope passing like turbid current, Kyūtarō recalled first dream harbored.


Wanted become like Tsukuru.


Wanted become human not just taking, but giving.


Was that such difficult thing.

Hope not knowing one's place, enough blocked by all fates.


Seemed whole world laughed saying live like Kyūtarō.


Snow starting fall winter dead of night. Freezing chill brings death. Such moment, person can help only one. Only knew one person who helped them.


U, u, u. Ume as if breath breaking groans.


Kyūtarō knew. Called that person's name.


Heavy snow pours down. Covering everything white, white. Life too, hope too, even consciousness. Beyond consciousness eroded by cold, ear suddenly recognized it.


"…Tsuku, ru?"


Footsteps so similar to that summer day saved by him.


Approaching kicking snow with hurried steps, kneeling beside, and.


Warm hand touched.


"Yukiji said. If have successors, happy."


"So will save."


"If you die, Yukiji's happiness disappears."


"That happens, I also troubled. Because can't properly save next Yukiji."


"Ah, right. Corpse picked up over there will leave here. I don't really like male meat."


"If hungry eat. But don't dawdle."


"If blood completely soaks, will be detected by that person. But probably your Shabana won't be recognized as comrade."


"Before sensed, flee. Method don't know, but do your best not to die pointless death! If discovered, I also won't be safe."


"Then be well. I must hurry——because have some things to do ahead."


*


Fight between demons summarized in one phrase: futile.


Immortals versus immortals fighting, natural thing. Before demon's regeneration, any wound can be fatal, no tiring collapsing. From fight without clear conclusion, impression obtainable only futility.


Therefore Replacement Blood Battle's victory/loss decided by Kibutsuji Muzan's judgment. Since can't expect duel structure simply defeating opponent, focusing which side more excellent, winner decided.


Until now held Blood Battles exactly fingers of both hands count, but any case, Kibutsuji Muzan at appropriate point stopped Blood Battle, declared superior side's name.


Therefore this Blood Battle abnormal.


Neck rolling. Upper Rank 2's neck.


Limbs scattered everywhere, torso rolling like dumpling, lumps of flesh frozen meticulously blocking even regeneration.


Overwhelming violence even tinged with beauty.


One-sided trampling not allowing even chance for counterattack.


Flawless marvelous victory.


Kibutsuji Muzan opened both eyes wide. Other Upper Ranks present also lost words.


"Yaay~, won won, relieved!"


In frozen air both figuratively and actually, bright voice unbecoming of him.


Upper Rank 6 Dōma who applied for Replacement Blood Battle against Upper Rank 2 Katsu, holding relieved smile, without shedding single drop sweat busily fanned.


"Never knew would win this blandly. Ah, or to save face for lower-ranked me, intentionally went easy? Ayy, can't do that, Katsu-kun. Saving strength before Muzan-sama, what kind of act is that!"


Innocent, extremely intentionally applying medicine.


Frozen Katsu's face not moving, but that sentiment easily imaginable.


"I'm doing sincerely so you should come out same! Here, here, no need decline, come on, Katsu-kun. Ate lots women for this day so no need consideration. Quickly break my demon art, let's face again!"


But Katsu couldn't break ice. From start he was serious. Without carelessness, consideration, or holding back, charged, yet ultimately meaninglessly swallowed dust of defeat.


However time passes, Katsu unable to break art, looking at ice not forming single crack, Dōma tilted head then indifferently sat down. Poking frozen neck with fan.


Gesture recalling innocent child, but intended acting. He knows yet does this. Matching earlier lines, Akaza at this point already came to detest Dōma.


"Eh, maybe can't do it??"


Opening rainbow eyes round as if unbelievable, Dōma shakes head. Answer known before even asking. Purposely saying with mouth, is this fellow demon? Was demon. Hyoh... Gyokko swallows breath. Beside, Hantengu groaned heeek... with same pitch.


"Amazing! Though expected some struggle being Upper Rank 2, against mere 6 me, without hiding anything, this degree. So surprised words not coming!"


If could move mouth would pour abuse, but Katsu's head entirely frozen. Humiliation and hatred alone far insufficient to melt ice demon art.


"──Fine, recognize replacement."


Watching that sight from start to end, Kibutsuji Muzan opening mouth, Dōma elegantly knelt offering salute. Holding smile not separate outside inside, bowed head.


"Katsu, return Upper Rank 2 position. You demoted to 6."


Replacement Blood Battle literally seat where ranks reverse. Though revealed ugly defeat, Katsu's power waste to discard.


Dōma grinning whispered with smiling voice to Katsu's nape. Lucky ends with demotion, Katsu-kun. And then added like this.


"Seems Muzan-sama will overlook your violation of orders."


"…What?"


Muzan frowned. Because no guessable reason.


Until now peeking into Katsu's view, this man never violated orders even once. Delay in Shabana killing also, since at least no treasonous intent, was overlooked.


Before lord's suspicion, Dōma reported without slightest hesitation. Without breaking smile close to madness peaceful.


"Killed what should have been offered to lord. That Shabana Katsu-kun said disposed, checking neck, was young man with white hair red eyes."


Kokushibo slowly raised head. Simultaneously Kibutsuji Muzan's tentacles growled swung.


With sound like glass and fruit shattering together, Katsu's head crushed to pieces. But should this be called fortunate among misfortune? By that impact, Katsu freed from cursed ice blocking regeneration, though only head, regained freedom.


Immediately Katsu shouted.


Misunderstanding, not true, merely that man's falsehood, said.


"I don't do lies, Katsu-kun. If really curious, can ask biwa girl too. She also saw that neck."


Kibutsuji Muzan turned head looked at Nakime.


Receiving gaze, Nakime nodded answered "Yes."


"Didn't see pupil color, but certainly white-haired young man."


"If still insufficient credit with this, kept neck, will directly check?"


At that proposal, Kibutsuji Muzan didn't answer.


Instead this time Katsu's limbs crushed.


Sensing lord's rage, Katsu desperately continued words. From his position, extremely justified excuse.


"A child, heard white hair red eyes child! That whoever sees not adult!"


Torso burst out like foam. Katsu miserably vomited blood.


"My order mistaken… want say that?"


"Su, such, such thing!"


"No, said that."


Lip-service denial only swelled Kibutsuji Muzan's anger. Katsu turned pale with fear, only head remaining trembled.


"Why didn't verify?"


At question from voice as if crawling from hell's bottom, Katsu couldn't say anything. Answer already out.


Instead of answer can't voice out, Katsu only inwardly shouted.


So told to examine neck!


True feelings hidden in heart, not voiced out.


But precisely that decided his fate.


──Katsu's head crushed again no longer regenerated.


Even after killing subordinate, Kibutsuji Muzan's anger didn't subside. Hatred deep, anxiety not settled. Tentacles laden with violent emotion slammed blood puddle several times.


That tragedy truly like hell, so weak-spirited Hantengu or such couldn't even scream, clutching head prostrate trembled.


"Dōma."


After pouring violence upon crushed blood puddle, Kibutsuji Muzan called subordinate.


Low trembling voice perhaps because not yet disappeared anger, or──


"Hand over Shabana's neck to me."


Kibutsuji Muzan hardened resolve.


With prayer hoping not so, took first step toward hell.


*


Pour contents of bamboo canteen dividing into bowls.


Exactly half each.


Siblings looking at each other, firmly nodded.


Each hand firmly grasps. So can endure whatever happens.


"One, two, three!"


The last medicine he left, two together drank.


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Ch. 30: I Still Don't Want to Die (6)
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