Swish—
"Today as well... thank you sincerely for taking the time to visit our Love Orphanage."
I never even practiced it, yet the words came out on their own.
I gave an inward, hollow laugh at the way my forehead naturally bowed toward the floor and my voice flowed out so smoothly.
It always began and ended with those words of thanks.
More precisely, it was proxy gratitude for padding the director’s wallet so they could satisfy their twisted desires.
We’d never been fucking grateful. Not once.
"You can get up, Seol."
"..."
With her permission, I rose from my spot.
As far as I knew, there were children who had to keep their heads bowed for hours.
They couldn’t get up unless they were told to.
The fact that I had been treated comparatively better in this hell still made me sick.
"Why are you standing there in a daze? Come over to me already."
"...Yes."
I gave a small nod at her words.
I watched her for a moment, then lowered my gaze and moved my feet.
Yu Hyein.
The third-generation heir of the nation’s number-one conglomerate.
The chairwoman of the culture and arts foundation under that group.
She was famous for collecting every conceivable kind of artwork and for having firm aesthetic standards of her own.
She was also widely recognized, to the point that her works had spread across the world.
Was she definitely in her late twenties?
Psychopath or sociopath.
I didn’t remember which was which, but either way, she was a crazy bitch.
Originally, she was a woman who never showed her face at the orphanage and, for some reason, only invested money in it.
I didn’t know why a woman like that had become fixated on me of all people. When I had first been transferred to this orphanage, she had approached me faster than anyone else.
—Try anything funny and I’ll kill you. Do you know how much money that bitch pours into our orphanage?
—Just go over there and smile, that’s all. You’re top-tier, so she doesn’t touch you, right? Not yet.
She was the person whose name was most widely known and who invested the most, enough that the orphanage director had warned me about her over and over.
Funny enough, she had actually told me countless times, "I’m different from the filthy people who hurt you all."
She hadn’t crossed the line, but that didn’t mean this woman was normal.
"Haa... Our Seol is my ideal every time I see you, you know?"
"..."
"It may sound like a cliché, but you’re my perfect muse."
As I stopped before her, she slowly rose from her seat.
She pulled me into her arms and slowly stroked from the nape of my neck down to my lower back.
What should I do?
I escaped this orphanage several years from now.
Only after making plans upon plans and after my body and mind had developed to a certain extent.
I had barely managed to escape after preparing for years.
My mind might be more mature now, but my body was still that of a twelve-year-old.
In my current state, with no physical ability to speak of, I had to get nearly twenty children out.
It was an hour’s drive from the orphanage to the city.
The orphanage was managed like a prison, with double doors.
And on days without a social gathering, we were practically raised like livestock in the inner management room.
"Seol, why aren’t you responding? Did something happen?"
"..."
"Tell me everything. I can make anything Seol wants come true, okay?"
"...Heh heh."
"You’re laughing again? I can’t tell whether you’re in a good mood or a bad one."
I let out a hollow laugh at Yu Hyein’s words.
There had been a time when I believed that, too. When I was young.
When Park Dojun died, I remembered clinging to her while sobbing my lungs out.
Had I asked her to avenge him? Or had I begged her to make sure something like this never happened again?
—Well... Seol, that kid’s death has nothing to do with me.
—Why should I use my power for that friend of yours?
Whether one orphan in this backwater orphanage died or not meant nothing to Yu Hyein.
To her, every child besides me wasn’t even human.
She probably saw the orphanage director and the other adults who used this place as insects too.
—But... if our Seol is making a "request," I can grant you anything.
—In return, though, Seol will have to grant the "requests" I make too.
That was why she had said those things.
I still couldn’t forget the broad smile on her face as she watched me wail and beg.
"..."
Of course, I had been too scared to do it.
Like an idiot, with the heart of a child.
I was fucking terrified. I didn’t want anything done to me.
The things every other child went through, the line I had yet to cross.
I was afraid of escaping this cage called an orphanage.
My immediate future scared me more than my friend’s death.
"Seol..."
"Don’t touch me."
"Hmm... All right. If that’s what Seol wants, I’ll do that."
"..."
She looked surprised for a moment, then smiled sweetly and stepped back.
She sat back down at the edge of the bed, crossed her legs, and looked me up and down. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again.
"Then will Seol touch me?"
Ah.
It was my first time trying to resist, so I hadn’t known it would turn out like this.
"...I don’t want to."
"Seol, did one of your friends perhaps tell you something strange?"
"..."
"I’m different, I told you. I truly love you. I’m not like those insects chasing a moment’s pleasure."
"Ah, fuck."
Did I really have to hear that line about how she was different from everyone else firsthand?
She was just as crazy as them—no, worse—and what the hell was she saying now?
"...What did you say, Seol?"
"Haa..."
I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again at the honest feeling that had slipped out before I could stop it.
Her eyes went wide, and she smiled a twisted smile.
Anger? Ecstasy? What the hell was that emotion? I didn’t particularly want to find out, but goosebumps rose all over my body.
"Do the other children use words like that? Or was it the orphanage director?"
"..."
What the hell did this bitch think I was in her head?
My teeth clenched as I watched her bite her nails, trying to find the cause.
"Seol, have you ever been summoned somewhere else?"
"..."
"Tell me. I’m serious right now. Has someone else ever taken you away?"
She opened her eyes wide as she asked whether I had ever been called in by another "adult," and I frowned.
Was she terrified that her work of art might be damaged?
As she hurriedly got to her feet and inspected every part of my body, I closed my eyes.
Could I find some way out of this if I pushed this woman’s buttons properly?
I didn’t have much time.
I had no idea how long Park Dojun could hold out.
Park Dojun might have nothing to do with the scenario demanded by the Tower of Mindscape, but I simply didn’t want to see that scene again.
"Seol, Seol, no. You’re mine."
"..."
"No matter what happens, I’ll sculpt you exactly the way I want. Absolutely not. Who said those things to you? Was it the orphanage director? Tell me quickly. Do you want to see me go crazy?"
I don’t care what this woman is thinking or why she’s so obsessed with me—
It was a dream anyway. An illusion.
It was only the past the Tower of Mindscape was showing me.
My body trembled madly just from standing in front of her, and seeing that disgusting face alone made bile rise in my throat, but...
Swish—
"Not the wine, too!!"
I have to use everything I can.
I would come back to life even if I died anyway.
Crash—!!
"...!!"
"Hey."
"Y-Yeah. All right, Seol, put that down and let’s talk, okay?"
I knew exactly what this woman treasured more than anything.
There wasn’t much I could do with this body that had no physical strength whatsoever.
Press.
"You’ll get hurt, you’ll get hurt!!!! Take your hand away right now!!!"
"Heh heh... Ah, this is fucking hilarious."
"Don’t use words like that. You mustn’t use words like that, Seol... okay?!"
I pressed the broken wineglass, its scent of wine rising from it, against my neck.
Blood soaked into the luxurious carpet. Smiling, I looked at the woman before me.
Jolt.
"Sit."
"Seol!!"
"I said sit. Shall I leave a scar on this body you want so badly that can never be erased for the rest of my life?"
"..."
I spoke as though I had the upper hand, but my voice shook.
The more I felt that woman’s gaze, the dizzier my head became.
She really is a fucking lunatic.
After seeing her for several years, I had come to understand something.
The gaze she was looking at me with now, supposedly worried for me, wasn’t concern for me. It was concern for the object called "me."
A gaze afraid that her creation, a piece of art, might be damaged.
Would she not care one bit even if someone else’s soul entered my body?
To destroy this fucking place, I have to do the same thing in the end.
I had to do again what I had done in reality long ago.
I had to accomplish within a month or two what had taken years to prepare back then.
To do that, I have to do something crazy.
"Seol, what’s wrong with you today? Did you not want to see me?"
"Was there ever a time I wanted to?"
"I’ve treated you well. You just don’t know what happens if you go somewhere else."
That... was true, at least.
Just because I hated this bitch didn’t mean I wanted to go somewhere else.
I just fucking hated this reality.
Swish.
"Look, okay? Even now, if I say just one word, Seol, you’ll get in a lot of trouble."
"..."
"Do you not know what happens if I call someone outside? Haven’t you seen the other children get punished?"
I closed my eyes at her words as she rose to her feet.
Something terrible would happen. I would get beaten half to death.
I would be unable to eat properly or even speak properly, subjected to something close to torture.
"Seol, I’m the one protecting you, you know?"
"..."
"When Seol reaches a suitable age, you can come to me and live happily forever. Okay?"
I swallowed hard as her hand stroked down my cheek.
I could vividly feel a filthy venomous snake crawling over my body.
"Go ahead."
"...What?"
Scrape—
"Ugh...!"
"Does it hurt? Then try screaming. Go on, call the orphanage director or one of the supervisors."
With the wineglass that had been pressed to my neck, I cut her neck in exactly the same way.
As red blood soaked her pure white gown, I smiled coldly and continued.
"..."
"I wouldn’t have known before, but now that I’m a little older, I get it."
"What...?"
"You can never ruin me. You can’t stand seeing me get hurt."
I didn’t know what she ultimately wanted to use me for, but I didn’t care what happened to that.
"It’s a shame this isn’t reality."
There was no chance things would go the way you wanted anyway.
Press...!!
"Seol, what are you even talking abou... Urgh...!"
"Did you enjoy gaslighting a fucking child all this time? Did it feel good when I followed you around trembling?"
Yu Hyein’s pupils were shaking.
They were trembling, yet her lips were still smiling.
A faint flush colored her cheeks, and for some reason I couldn’t understand, she was excited.
Crazy bitch.
She was undoubtedly smiling for a reason I didn’t want to know.
Slice.
"Seol!!!"
"It hurts... but this is better."
So I cut my own neck.
Seeing her smile made me sick to my stomach.
Watching her hands tremble as she stared at me in horror made me feel better.
My hands were trembling from terror and fear too, but confirming that this woman, too, was not some demon but a human being capable of being frightened made it a little easier.
If I had really been a child, I could never have thought this way.
No, if I had never experienced real death in the tower, I might still have been trembling as I looked at this woman.
I had experienced real death.
I had met my dead friend again.
And after enduring that vicious cycle, it was truly pathetic that I still trembled when I saw her.
"Sister."
"S-Seol? You just called me sister—"
"I have one "request.""
Grin.
"...Are you saying that sincerely?"
"Yeah."
That was why I had to make use of her, at least like this.
"If you’re going to ask to leave this place—"
"It’s not that. Just one very small request."
"...All right, Seol. What would you like to ask of me?"
Not that I had any intention of granting your request anyway.
"At the next social gathering, no matter what happens, stay still."
"What does that..."
"And don’t say anything to the orphanage director, either."
"...Then will you make me happy, Seol?"
"I’ll make you very happy, so look forward to it."
"I’ll look forward to it, my Seol."
Just looking at you, I had a feeling you would enjoy it very much.
*
"Hey, Park Dojun!!"
"...Ah, yeah, Han Seol."
"Are you okay?"
"Of course I’m okay."
Early dawn, after the social gathering had ended.
I spotted Park Dojun walking blankly along and hurriedly grabbed him to speak to him.
Anyone could see from his red-rimmed eyes that he had been crying for a long time.
"You did well."
"..."
"You held out well. It’s okay now."
"Han Seol..."
I didn’t know how to comfort a child.
There was no way I could know what to say to a child going through something this cruel.
"You did nothing wrong, and you’ll definitely be repaid for everything. You’ll be able to achieve everything you want, and I’ll make sure your dreams come true somehow."
"..."
But if it had been me, I would have wanted to hear something like that.
Because I had gone through something similar, I thought hearing those words might have made me want to hold on just one more time.
"Han Seol."
"Yeah."
"Let’s make sure we fly on an airplane together."
"..."
I bit my lip at his awkward smile.
I bit down hard enough to draw blood and clenched my fist inside my pocket so tightly that it trembled.
"Do I get to ride for free?"
"I’m charging you. So get rich."
"...Yeah. I’ll make a fucking ton of money and sit in the most expensive seat."
I forced a bright smile and answered him.
"Park Dojun."
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you one favor? I need your help."
"Just say the word. We’re friends, aren’t we?"
"...That’s right. We’re friends."
Why did children this pure have to suffer so much?
This is fucking awful.
"What is it about?"
"...I gave it some thought, and I think it would be better to do something I’ve done before."
"Huh?"
"Want to play with fire together?"
"Not playing in water—what’s playing with fire?"
"There’s something. It’s fucking awesome."
It was playing with fire that I had done belatedly as revenge for you, but I thought it would be more fun this time if I did it with you.
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