*
‘Where on earth did he go…?’
[Search by Author: WikiPippi]
I couldn’t help worrying now that the person who had reported everything from the moment he went to sleep until the moment he woke up for an entire week had disappeared.
It had only been one day, and he was someone who had already vanished for a whole week before, but….
‘He said he wouldn’t do it again….’
When I asked him not to because it worried me, he said he understood.
I didn’t think Wiki was the kind of person to break promises so easily.
…Or was he?
"Though I can kind of see him doing it…."
I didn’t think he was a bad person, but… he was always doing things beyond anything I could expect.
Scroll.
[Obviously lurking if you look at it lol] (13)
[Damn, finally entering the gallery on his 100th run lmao] (43)
[Please, even a shitpost would be fine, just post something] (7)
[I asked him, he said he was climbing the Tower. Wait up] (21)
[Fuck, this bastard is going inactive again] (10)
‘He’s probably looking at the gallery right now, isn’t he?’
Was he watching everyone’s reactions and laughing like last time?
He always made a post before entering the Tower, so I didn’t think he had gone in.
"…What kind of person is he, anyway?"
In the gallery, writing about one’s past or life before entering the Tower was considered taboo.
After all, dwelling on old memories wasn’t particularly helpful.
If you developed a mental illness here, that was the end of you.
‘But….’
Even so, I wanted to know a little about Wiki.
What kind of abilities did he have, and what kind of life had he lived, for him to spot an Irregular from the very beginning and climb the Tower so recklessly?
He had to be an incredible person, right?
Considering he could even send food to other people, perhaps he was from the distant future.
There was no denying that he was a strange… unusual person, but I was curious.
Grrrrumble….
"Ugh…"
I turned my head slightly to look at the bread.
I had eaten nothing but that for fifteen hundred years, and I might still be eating nothing but that for another fifteen hundred.
Still, I had to fill my stomach. It wasn’t as though this was only a one- or two-day problem.
I should at least eat that… I thought, just as I rose from my seat.
[New Comment from YoungAndRichWiki]
"Wiki…!"
At last, a comment had appeared from Wiki, who had changed his nickname yet again.
I reflexively jumped up, the corners of my lips lifting as I checked the comments.
Not an Eraser🔸: Why did you disappear without saying anything again...!!
┗Not an Eraser🔸: Are you hurt anywhere, Wiki...?
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): sry was a little busy
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): More importantly, Mod, is there anything you want to eat?
‘Something I want to eat?’
Nothing immediately came to mind.
I still had some cola left, and even when I tried to think of food I wanted, I couldn’t come up with anything.
‘Is he going to send me something again?’
Wasn’t that why he was asking?
My heart suddenly began to pound. I was getting excited for no reason, wondering if he would send me anything I asked for.
‘…But I feel a little bad just accepting it.’
I wasn’t doing anything for him, so I felt guilty about receiving things from him over and over.
I wished there was something I could do to repay him, but there was no way for me to do so.
‘I wish I could at least give him some information.’
Unfortunately, I wasn’t smart like everyone else.
I was only barely capable of climbing the Tower.
And what Wiki had wanted from me so far was—
"A picture of my breasts…?"
Glance.
At the memory that surfaced, I lowered my head slightly.
Looking at breasts so large they covered everything from my stomach to my toes, my face suddenly grew hot.
"No…! No matter what, this is…!!"
And to show him, I would have to upload it to the gallery. Absolutely not.
Even if Wiki sent me cola a hundred times, a thousand times, I couldn’t send him that.
What on earth was there about these that he liked so much in the first place…!
Ding!
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): no answer so I just sent it. I’m deleting the comments, so don’t make it obvious
"Ah!"
Just as I was fanning my heated face furiously, a new comment appeared.
I was Not an Eraser—no, the Mod, yet he seemed smarter than me.
Had he led groups back where he used to live, too?
Glance—
I looked back and forth between the bread in the basket and Wiki’s comment.
I didn’t know what Wiki had sent me, but surely it would be tastier than that bread at least.
"Hehe…."
Of course, it didn’t have to be anything amazing.
I thought I could have a happy meal with even just a single-use packet of jam.
Kuuuuung—!!
"It’s here!"
I beamed at the thunderous sound I had now heard for the third time.
It was the kind of sound that should have made me anxious, yet I was running toward it in delight without even realizing.
‘What is it?’
I tilted my head at the bag sitting in the middle of the commons.
It didn’t seem to be cola, at least. It looked like it contained a variety of things.
A delicious smell wafted toward me even from afar. Drawn in as though enchanted, I approached and picked up the bag.
Gulp.
"Th-This is…!"
The moment I recognized the food inside the bag, I dropped to the ground on the spot.
*
[TP Held: 14,193]
"Urgh… my precious TP…."
I had acted cool when I sent food to the Mod, but tears welled up when I saw the TP actually leaving my account.
‘It’s not like I had to send her anything….’
I had no obligation to, nor had I made any particular promise.
I had merely slipped a bribe to someone in power to get on their good side.
‘It’ll definitely pay off someday.’
I didn’t care if someone accused me of cliquing up.
So long as I didn’t get caught, what did it matter?
Mods and assistant mods always secretly met up behind the scenes and rubbed elbows, didn’t they?
If there was any gallery user who didn’t know that, everyone except that person was probably rubbing elbows.
Besides, I still had fifteen thousand TP, so this much was still fine. I’d even gotten a bonus this time.
‘Could I get a weapon, one or two skill books, and even a bed with my remaining TP?’
I would have to look into that gradually later.
I couldn’t buy anything right away since I didn’t know Starpang’s entire catalog. I also needed to think about how to allocate my TP.
‘There’s also the anomaly and the new app.’
The anomaly I experienced on the fiftieth floor, and the newly appeared [???] app.
There was so much I needed to learn immediately that instinctively, I wanted to put it all off.
Honestly, after racking my brain for three straight days, I wanted to rest for a while first.
Scroll.
[New bie! I’m dy ing!]
[You’re climbing the Tower, right? That’s it, right? Right?]
[Obviously building up to give us something tasty lmao]
[Fuck, he learns something like swordsmanship and goes inactive]
After quietly deleting my conversation with the Mod, I looked over the gallery and snickered.
Thanks to commenting on nearly every post for a week, people were starting to show symptoms of obsession with me.
There wasn’t an ounce of substance to any of it, of course, but whatever….
‘A very good development.’
I didn’t mind, since the obsession of gallery users whose faces I had never even seen put me in a good mood.
If it makes you happy, it’s okay.
"All right, then…."
After casually scrolling through posts that had piled up over three days… no, one day, I stretched and moved my fingers.
Tap.
[Create Post]
Gotta do what I gotta do, right?
*
[★ KING IS BACK]
[Author: YoungAndRichWiki]
(Photo verifying the clear of the 50th floor of the Tower of Wisdom)
(Photo of numbers and a timer floating in the air)
What are you doing? Hurry up and worship me.
Upvotes 734 Downvotes 31
[Comments]
Anonymous: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck lmaoooooooo
Not an Eraser🔸: The 50th florr?? How??
┗Not an Eraser🔸: I’m sute you were on the 20th floor last time...?
┗Anonymous: Why are there so many typos?
Anonymous: The 50th floor, you fucking asshole lmao
┗Anonymous: Did you go inactive just to do this? No, fuck, how do you do that in a single day?
6373: Is it possible that only your Tower is a little different? Otherwise, how is this even possible?
┗Anonymous: Denial of reality lmao
┗6373: Are you perhaps the Architect? Are you the one who trapped me here?
┗Anonymous: Now we’ve got conspiracy theories;;
┗Anonymous: He’s finally lost it... He did last a long time~
Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: If you really put your mind to it, could you climb like a hundred floors a day too???
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): Want me to show you?
┗Anonymous: Him saying “Want me to show you?” makes me scared he’ll really do it;;;
┗dd: Damn;
"This is it."
The overwhelming response had me unable to stop grinning.
Comments were continuing to pile up in real time.
Sure enough, their reaction was different from usual now that I had shown them thirty floors after inching along ten floors at a time.
I felt a thrill similar to when I first acquired the Irregular.
[How the hell did he clear 30 floors in one day??] (32)
[☆ PSA) Newbie climbed 40 floors in one day] (54)
[Damn it, it’s Wiki Newbie again. I have no choice but to worship] (6)
[Lmao, floor 50 isn’t even low-level anymore] (13)
[☆ Upvote if you think Newbie will pass your regression count soon lmao] (21)
‘They really are artists when it comes to glazing.’
In any case, seeing reactions that exceeded even my expectations made me laugh.
[DO YOU GUYS KNOW THIS?????????]
[Author: Anonymous]
If Newbie climbs ten more floors in the next few days, he’ll reach floor 100 in a month lmao
Fuck, it’s so absurd all I can do is laugh in disbelief lmao
[Comments]
Anonymous: You can really feel the wall between us
Anonymous: I’ve decided to believe Newbie is actually the Architect here and kidnapped me
116th Run: It seems like he just smoothly gets past everything without dying..
‘Come to think of it, that’s true.’
I had no intention of putting off climbing for too long, but seeing this made me think I should hurry even more.
Who knew? Maybe they would give me another TP bonus.
[!+!+!+! MUST-READ FOR NEWBIE !+!+!+!]
[Author: Anonymous]
Give me some Tower-climbing tips
[Comments]
Anonymous: Asking the Newbie for advice instead is pretty novel lmaoooooooo
Anonymous: Predicted comment) Be good.
Infinite Swordsman: What run are you on?
┗Anonymous (Author): 430
┗Infinite Swordsman: Fuck, and you’re asking someone on their first run
YoungAndRichWiki: I told you, but it got automatically deleted for being a guide. sry;
┗Anonymous (Author): You fucking liar
"Hehehe."
Ding!
As I wandered around the gallery laughing, a new notification came in, and I checked my post verifying the fiftieth floor.
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: So are you handing out cola now?!
Snicker.
‘This crazy cola addict….’
I gave a hollow laugh at the elf’s innocent comment.
Was it okay for an elf to pursue something so stimulating?
Didn’t cola go against vegetarianism? I wasn’t sure. Maybe it didn’t matter, since elves these days ate meat too.
"Then again, they did say they weren’t actually an elf."
I didn’t know the difference between a long-eared noble and an elf, but I let it go.
[Hmm... any time now...]
[Not yet? Not yet? Not yet?]
[Do you want to see me lose my mind, Newbie????]
‘So this is the Pavlov’s dog effect.’
Not just the elf, but other gallery users were making posts and comments too.
They were monsters I had created, but even I found it absurd to watch.
‘Whatever. I don’t mind.’
[TP Held: 14,193]
Even before sending the Mod a gift, I had planned to distribute ten percent in the gallery.
Some investment was necessary to maintain the current level of attention and obsession.
‘I sent the Mod a full set, but… these guys only get individual items.’
Unless there was no tariff, 800 TP for one burger set really did make me want to cry.
Ding!
[Delivery Complete]
[Delivery Location: Outside the Door]
"Naturally, mine’s a set!"
Grinning from ear to ear, I left my hideout.
Moved by the scent of french fries filling the commons, I picked up the burger set.
Not wanting to waste even the time it would take to return to my hideout, I took a bite of the freshly made burger, hot enough to burn—
"Wow…."
With dopamine filling my mouth, I dropped to my knees right there.
A bun softer than the blankets in my hideout. Cheese perfectly melted and dripping down.
A patty bursting with juices at the bite, MSG sauce overflowing with umami.
Impossibly fresh vegetables, and cola to cleanse my palate.
"Burgers are the best…."
It truly was a burger worthy of the gallery’s roots.
[Form a line]
[Author: YoungAndRichWiki]
(Photo of a burger overflowing with bun, meat, vegetables, cheese, and sauce)
Ahh... This is called a ‘burger’...
One burger and one cola.
I’ll raffle each of them off.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Holding a burger in one hand, I made a post in the gallery.
Comments came flooding in as though they had been waiting for it.
Honestly, this seemed to be getting more engagement than my Tower-clear post.
[Comments]
Rabbit Hops: Me! Me!!
┗Rabbit Hops: (Sticker of a rabbit hopping in place)
┗Dog That Barks at Idiots: (Sticker of a dog barking like mad)
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): Dog That Barks at Idiots is lining up too?
┗Dog That Barks at Idiots: (Sticker of a dog raising its paw with a dignified expression)
Anonymous: Sir, I actually have a disease where I’ll die if I can’t eat burgers...
┗YoungAndRichWiki (Author): Then die.
┗Anonymous: fuck
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Me! Me me!! Me me me me!!!!
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: I really love burgers!!
┗dd: You’ve never even tried one though
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: I’ve tried every ingredient in there separately!!
┗dd: Damn;;
Philosopher's Stone: Boohoo... newbie... I wanna try a burger toooo...
┗Anonymous: Lmao fuck, you need to change your username
┗Stone of Ttutta: Du... if I change it, will you give me one?
Not an Eraser🔸: M-me... if it wouldn’t be rude, could I line up too...?
┗Anonymous: Are you sick or something? You never made typos before, but you’ve been weird since earlier.
"You crazy bastards."
I laughed out loud as I read the comments, each of them putting on their own ridiculous shitshow.
There was so much variety that I nearly dropped my burger.
‘The Mod must have found it incredibly delicious.’
Maybe she was making typos because she was commenting with one hand. Her other hand was probably busily eating.
Honestly, I hadn’t expected her to shamelessly line up again.
Not that I particularly cared if the Mod won.
YoungAndRichWiki (Author): That’s it, folks. Starting the raffle~
After leaving a comment, I snickered at the gallery users praying in their respective ways.
Then I tapped the raffle function, one of the Gallery’s extra features, and drew from the hundreds of people who had commented—
[Burger: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
"You again?"
I gave a hollow laugh at the elf… the long-eared noble who had once again won the raffle despite those astronomical odds.
They had been the first to win during the cola giveaway too. Wondering just how lucky they had to be, I ran the raffle for the cola.
[Cola: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
"Is this a bug?"
Could this even happen?
Once might be possible, but for one person to win twice despite those odds?
Just in case, I excluded them and ran it again, and another anonymous user was selected.
The raffle function didn’t seem to have any problem, so I figured they really were simply lucky and ran it once more—
[Burger: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
[Cola: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
"…No, is this really a bug??"
I blankly blinked at the results screen, which had returned to the very beginning.
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