Chapter 52: I Think I’m Drunk
[Chicken and Beer 1: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
[Chicken and Beer 2: Anyone Will Do]
[Chicken and Beer 3: dd]
[Chicken and Beer 4: Superiority of Dual Swords]
"...This is seriously ridiculous."
Should I say the results were just as expected...?
Seeing Long-Eared Noble planted right in the number-one spot made me laugh without meaning to.
I considered spinning it a few more times, but stopped because it seemed pointless anyway.
Only the people picked after him would change. Long-Eared Noble would be in there no matter what.
Still, it’d be weird to exclude him and spin again...
Blatantly rigging it felt strange.
There was no particular reason to, and it wasn’t like I disliked or resented him that much.
If anything, he gave amazing reactions and even defended me like an escort knight from the sidelines. What was bad about that?
It was just a little strange that that elf... no, Long-Eared Noble, got picked every single time.
The only person I deliberately looked after was the mod, but somehow it felt as though I was looking after Long-Eared Noble every time too.
The rest are all first-time recipients.
Anyone Will Do didn’t have any special notes.
dd felt like an old-timer active all over the place, while Dual Swords...
Didn’t he get chewed out ages ago for trying to defend me?
I vaguely remembered the gallery saying he had eighth-grader syndrome and should be ignored.
Even without hearing that explanation, though, I probably would have thought so myself after seeing him comment every time.
Whatever.
[Create Post]
I considered sending them out individually like I had with the boo-gi and cola, but this time I decided to splurge.
I probably would never be able to do this again unless I came into a huge sum like this.
You could call it a special event I could only enjoy right now.
[Winner Announcement!!!!!!!!!!]
[Author: Monster Hunter Wiki]
I’ve already sent them, so pray until they arrive lol
[Comments]
Anyone Will Do: Pleasepleasepleaseplease
Anyone Will Do: Justuntilmejustuntilmejustuntilmejustuntilme
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Newbie, I believe in you!!!
┗Anyone Will Do: Stop fucking eating everything, asshole
┗Anyone Will Do: Have some shame and sit this one out
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Huh? It’s here!!! Thanks, Newbie!!!!!!!
┗dd: No, fuck, I was about to say you got picked again, but mine came too lolololol
┗Anyone Will Do: Ah, fuck.
Anyone Will Do: You Grandma Lovers Club bastard
"Heh heh."
No, I thought it was ridiculous too.
I sympathized with them, and I knew perfectly well why they were acting like that, but there was nothing I could do for them.
"You should’ve had better luck."
That really was all there was to it.
Flop.
Come to think of it...
Lying down on the bed and looking at my phone buzzing nonstop, I checked my photo album.
Seeing Long-Eared Noble win reminded me of the photos I had taken on the fiftieth floor of the Tower of Trials.
The picture taken when I looked like an elf, and the picture I took of Behemoth.
I had uploaded photos and videos of myself to the gallery before to get feedback on my swordsmanship and posture, but I had always made sure my face wasn’t visible.
But maybe it would be fine to upload this face.
The thought came to me out of nowhere.
I was also curious about what the difference was between looking like an elf and looking like Long-Eared Noble.
Still, maybe I should have someone check first, just in case.
For all I knew, I could upload it without thinking and everyone else might see my actual face.
It wouldn’t be a huge problem even if that happened... but only crazy people uploaded photos of themselves to a gallery in the first place.
Looking like an elf is cosplay, so that’s okay.
[Suggestion Box]
[Author: Not an Eraser🔸]
[Comments]
Monster Hunter Wiki: Mod
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: Huh?
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: What??
I smiled at the mod’s lightning-fast reply, as always.
He must have been busy eating chicken, yet he still replied instantly even now.
This is why it feels worth sending it to him.
The gallery’s most powerful figure was won over by one whole chicken. Did I really need to stop this?
Monster Hunter Wiki: I saw the rules say it’s okay to upload pictures of yourself to the gallery, right?
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: Yeah... as long as it’s not an explicit lewd pic, it’s fiiiine
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: Are you... going to post one?
He’s typing comments one-handed.
With a helpless laugh at the mod, I edited the contents of a pointless post I had uploaded a few weeks ago.
I added the photo where I looked like an elf, copied the link, and sent it to the mod.
I asked him to check whether the man in the picture looked like an elf to him.
After waiting a while for the mod, who gave no immediate response—
Ding.
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: That’s not an elf photo. It’s just a person...?
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: Oh, really? That’s how it looks?
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: Yeah... who is this?
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: It’s me. I took it in the Tower and thought it’d look like that because of some elf event;
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: It’s a picture of you...?
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: I’m taking the photo down, so forget you saw it.
I almost caused an accident.
At the mod’s comment saying it just looked like a human, I hurriedly edited the post.
Good thing I had him check. Otherwise, I could have ended up spreading pictures of my own face all over the gallery.
"Whew."
I thought about asking the mod to check the photo of Behemoth from my album too, but anyone seeing that was fine, so I decided to just upload it to the gallery.
[Infinite Regression Gallery]
[Ah; It would’ve been better if I’d won this instead of cola;;] (123)
[Seriously, stop rigging this] (6)
[Fuck, how am I supposed to win when he’s picking 4 out of 800 people] (27)
[Long-Eared Noble, you bitch] (18)
[I’m so fucking jealous] (4)
I’ll wait until the gallery cools down a little before checking it.
For now, I should wait for the chicken-and-beer reviews first.
*
[I drank beeeer and my head feels floaty..]
[Author: Superiority of Dual Swords]
(Photo of an empty 1L beer bottle)
(Photo of a chicken box without even a crumb left)
The chicken was way tastier than I remembered..!!!
It’s my first time drinking alcohol so it feels weeeird..
I’m so happppy I can’t stop smiling
You guys have to eat it tooo
It’s reaaally delicious!!!!
I wanna drink more beeer, so give me just a little more, Newbie..
Please.. yeah..?
[Comments]
Anyone Will Do: This post reeks of booze like crazy;
Anyone Will Do: Ah, I want chicken so fucking bad
Man Hotter Than Flames: Alcohol..!! Describe the taste in more detail!!!
┗Man Hotter Than Flames: The temperature? The carbonation? The flavor and scent? Tell me more, quickly!!!!
┗Superiority of Dual Swords (Author): It tastes tasty!!!
┗Man Hotter Than Flames: Goddamn it!!!!
Monster Hunter Wiki: Fuck, are you by any chance underage?
┗Superiority of Dual Swords (Author): No!! As if that could be true!!!
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: You’ve just never had a drink before, then?
┗Superiority of Dual Swords (Author): That’s right!!!!!!!!!!
"Hehe... Wiki really is something else..."
I smiled as I looked at Wiki’s urgent comment.
I didn’t remember clearly, but that gallery user called Dual Swords had been active for decades too.
There was no way to know how old he had been when he entered the Tower, but just counting the time he had spent here, he had probably lived several times longer than Wiki.
In the first place, adulthood is defined differently depending on where you’re from...
In some places, you were an adult at thirteen.
Long-lived races could still be treated like children even after decades.
What Wiki was worried about probably wouldn’t happen here.
I’ve only had alcohol... once myself, though...
When I became an adult, my younger sibling had somehow gotten hold of a lukewarm can of beer for me.
I had no idea when it was made, and there wasn’t the slightest hint of carbonation.
It was lukewarm and had a strange flavor and smell, but I still remembered having an incredibly good time.
"Hah..."
If my sibling were alive, if they had become an adult, I would have wanted to give them alcohol this delicious.
"Is this what being drunk feels like...?"
For no reason, my throat tightened.
It felt like my heart, which had been tightly shut after going through all sorts of things and spending so long in the Tower, was coming undone on its own.
"Wiki... thank youuu..."
Sitting on the floor, I swayed from side to side and smiled.
I had already eaten all the chicken, but the happiness still remained.
I wished he would check in a little more often... and it worried me that he always disappeared for days at a time.
"Hehe..."
But when I thought about how that was why I got to eat such delicious things, it didn’t seem so bad.
Swipe.
"..."
I looked at the photo I had secretly saved earlier.
It was a photo of him with expressionless eyes and only the faintest smile on his lips.
The blue sky and forest in the background suggested it had been taken in the Tower.
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: It’s me. I took it in the Tower and thought it’d look like that because of some elf event;
"This is a picture of Wiki..."
The moment Wiki said it was his picture, my fingers moved before I knew it.
Maybe because I had been drinking, I almost instinctively opened the link he had sent again and saved the photo.
He deleted the picture right away, but fortunately I had managed to save it to my device in time.
"...He’s incredibly handsome."
With my head hazy, I stared fixedly at Wiki on the screen.
He was so handsome it was hard to comprehend.
So much so that I couldn’t understand why someone like him behaved so wildly on the gallery.
"..."
In my original world, even among the people who lived in safe zones, I had never seen anyone handsome enough to catch my eye like this.
And this person was sending me food.
I was receiving special treatment from someone like him.
Gulp.
"Ah... I finished it all..."
Setting the now-empty beer bottle on the floor, I closed my eyes.
Somehow, I felt good.
I wasn’t sure whether it was because I was drunk, or whether there was another reason.
For now, I just wanted to hold this hazy feeling close and drift off to sleep happily.
Flop.
"Wiki..."
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: Mod, is there anything else you want to eat?
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: What?? No, I’m full!!
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: Okay.
Lying dazed on the bed, I recalled the comments we had exchanged after that earlier conversation.
The comments that had already been deleted. A secret exchange that remained only in my memories and his.
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: But why do you take such good care of me?
┗Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: (Reaction image of a grotesque creature tilting its head)
┗Monster Hunter Wiki: Because I just want to be nice to you.
"Hehe..."
Somehow, I felt like I would have a pleasant dream tonight.
*
[Newbie is the best!! Newbie is even better than the World Tree!!!!!!!]
[Author: Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X]
(Photo of an empty 1L beer bottle)
(Photo of a chicken box without even a crumb left)
The best!!!!!!!!! Newbie, do whatever you want!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll pray every single day for Newbie to do well!!!!!!!!
The best! The best best!!!
Just try talking shit about Newbie from now on, you guys?!?!!
[Comments]
Anyone Will Do: Fuck, now he can’t even leave a proper review
Anyone Will Do: If this bastard gets picked again next time, I’m going to kill Newbie
┗dd: No no no no no no no, absolutely not
┗Philosopher's Stone: That’s impossible. You can’t even leave the Tower, so how would you do that?
┗Superiority of Dual Swords: No!!!!! Why would you kill Newbie!!!
┗Anyone Will Do: Ah, fuck off, you guard-dog bastards
Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: I don’t need anything else, just please give me cola at least..
"This is fucking hilarious."
Maybe he was drunk, or maybe he was just naturally like this.
I laughed out loud for a long time as I watched Long-Eared Noble go completely wild.
The comments and newly uploaded posts were in an uproar, while he himself remained perfectly carefree. He was a walking laugh track.
Maybe it’s okay to upload it now.
The rate of new posts and the intensity of the comments had both died down considerably.
You could say the topic was finally starting to cool off.
It was still a little early, but I wanted to check on Behemoth.
At least I can see it myself.
I quietly looked at Behemoth in my photo album.
If Behemoth itself was an anomaly, the other gallery users wouldn’t be able to see it.
I didn’t know how many people would remember what was on the fiftieth floor of the Tower of Trials on their first run, but there was no harm in checking.
[Why I was away for a while).jpg]
[Author: Monster Hunter Wiki]
(Photo of Behemoth uprooting a tree)
I died fourteen times trying to kill this bastard.
This was the fiftieth floor of the Tower of Trials. Is it normally this hard?
[Comments]
Anyone Will Do: I can’t see anything.
Anyone Will Do: Any newbies here? I don’t even remember what the fiftieth floor on the first run was.
┗4th Life: You entered a forest and ran away from a bear, I think.
┗Second-Run Newbie: Yeah, it was a bear. I think you killed its cub in the first event and it got angry?
Anyone Will Do: A guy who didn’t die until floor 49 of the Tower of Trials died fourteen times on floor 50 alone?
Anyone Will Do: This isn’t even the Tower of Fate, nor is it floors 90 to 100. It shouldn’t be hard enough to take a week.
Philosopher's Stone: We can’t see anything. Did you run into something weird again?
┗Monster Hunter Wiki (Author): Looks like it.
┗Philosopher's Stone: Can you tell us what happened in detail? I’ll help if you need it.
┗Monster Hunter Wiki (Author): Nah, I’m good for now. I’ll call you later.
┗Philosopher's Stone: Okay. Ask with beer next time.
┗Monster Hunter Wiki (Author): Lol, what, did you entrust it to me or something?
"...Then it’s definitely an anomaly."
The comments made it certain.
Behemoth wasn’t a boss that was supposed to appear on the fiftieth floor of the first run.
A data error, a restriction—whatever the reason, it was certain that it had appeared before me because of something.
I do want to ask Philosopher's Stone a few things, though.
First, I wanted to clear through the Tower of Mindscape and gather all the information I could.
Depending on what [???] was, I might have even more questions to ask.
Rather than struggling through a discussion now and having another one a few days later, it would be better to settle everything properly at once.
Perhaps it would be better not to tell Philosopher's Stone and the other gallery users at all.
[???]
-Functionality is restricted. Once conditions are met, ‘???’ will become available.
[Tower of Trials 50/50]
[Tower of Wisdom 50/50]
[Tower of Mindscape 49/50]
[Tower of Fate 50/50]
Maybe tomorrow, at the earliest.
I was already pleasantly tipsy today, and I planned to get a proper, deep rest in bed for the first time in a while.
Since it was the Tower of Mindscape, there was no need to buy equipment or skill books, so I made unlocking [???] my top priority.
Flop!
"Haa... This is it..."
I sprawled out on the bed and slowly closed my eyes.
This comfort and softness, which I hadn’t felt in so long.
With the tens of thousands of TP I had left, it might be nice to upgrade my bed or replace the pillow and blanket with top-quality ones.
*
[Tower of Mindscape]
"Whew..."
Standing before the Tower of Mindscape, I took a deep breath.
What will come out?
The Mindscape Tower was impossible to predict.
Sometimes ghosts would jump out at you, while other times it was a place where you had to sit blankly like the five-hundred-million-year button.
Considering the other towers had increased in difficulty once on the tenth floor and again on the fiftieth floor, the Mindscape Tower would surely be the same.
Maybe I would experience an anomaly through the entire tower, like I had in the Tower of Fate.
...I downed a calming pill, and I drank an energy drink too.
Thanks to dying and coming back to life, my physical condition was perfect.
I had slept deeply under the influence of alcohol for the first time in a while, and I had sufficiently doped myself up too.
Creeeak...
Keeping my eyes focused, I slowly opened the Tower’s heavy door and stepped inside.
"..."
Thoom...!!
Darkness so complete that I couldn’t see anything ahead of me.
The faint light that had filtered in from behind me vanished as the door was forcibly shut.
What would appear?
After waiting a moment, wondering whether it would be horror again, something like a jumpscare—
Flash.
The moment I, who had been keeping my eyes open, opened them once again, the location changed.
...I never expected this.
To a place unfamiliar, yet familiar.
To that place which was familiar, yet had always felt unfamiliar.
Swish—
"Han Seol."
"...Park Dojun."
"Are you okay?"
It had transformed into the orphanage from my childhood, where all my hell had begun.
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