[★ Cola Review] (315)
[Author: Philosopher's Stone]
(Photo of a 1L plastic cola bottle with one-third gone)
Ttyaa... ttyu ttyu... tyaa...
Upvotes 157 Downvotes 325
[Comments]
Anonymous: Fuck, didn’t I tell you that stuff was cursed food?
Anonymous: Holy shit, that’s scary as hell; he got stupid as fuck. What the hell were the people who liked it after drinking it?
┗Anonymous: You gallery idiots actually think this is real? LOL
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: I can do this too, newbie!!
┗Anonymous: Aren’t you embarrassed acting like that at your age?
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: I’m not embarrassed?!
dd: This fucking roleplay LOLLLLLLL
Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: No, explain what it tastes like.
┗Philosopher's Stone (Author): The newbie told me not to explain.
┗Philosopher's Stone (Author): Judging by how he’s only handing out a small quantity, I think he’s controlling the supply?
┗Philosopher's Stone (Author): I only asked for one because I was curious, but it’s definitely unusual.... People will either love it or hate it.
WikiPippi: If people are split on it, I won’t give you any more.
┗Philosopher's Stone (Author): Mod’s cola is yummy! Yummy!
┗Philosopher's Stone (Author): Give me more! Give me more!! Fuck...
┗Anonymous: LOLLLLLLLLLLL
‘My power is starting to scare me.’
Most of the comments were astonished by the Philosopher's Stone handle’s descent into depravity.
I did a quick search through his posts and found a whole bunch of papers that were beyond even my ability to comprehend.
Almost every post ultimately concluded with, “Still unknown,” but there were clear traces of tremendous effort having gone into reaching that point.
“Ngh.... I’m a monster who can freely manipulate even someone like that....”
I knew I had to stop handing things out when I wasn’t exactly rolling in money, but I was too drunk on dopamine to quit.
I wasn’t even spending money on myself, but I was having more fun giving it away to other people, you know?
[TP Held: 3,073]
Two colas cost 60,000 won.
It was precious money, but I sent one to the head mod too.
The head mod was the only one who always quietly cleaned up the bait I scattered around.
If it were me, I would have blown up at someone and told them to cut it out, but they never said a single unpleasant thing and always cleaned up after me.
They were always worried about me, replied instantly, and helped out with my experiments too.
My favorability toward the head mod was skyrocketing by the day.
‘They’re smart not to post proof in the gallery, too.’
The first time, “I gave it to them because they’re the head mod,” would fly. But if it kept piling up, both the head mod and I would get cursed out.
Since that wasn’t what I wanted, the head mod seemed impressively sharp for knowing how to handle things on their own.
“So what do I do from here....?”
I knew nothing about the conditions under which the anomaly appeared, why it appeared, or how to deal with it.
Like the Philosopher's Stone handle had said, I had to figure it out by myself.
Honestly, I had no desire to encounter something like that again, but....
‘Usually, when things go like this, it definitely shows up again.’
Clichés were clichés for a reason. I was worried I’d get exiled somewhere overnight at this rate.
I alone had gone through something that even the veterans who had spent thousands of years here had never experienced. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wouldn’t simply be the end of it.
‘Still, it’s not like there’s only cause for concern.’
There might be a way out hidden somewhere in this.
I had no idea why they were censoring it, but simply learning that the Tower was hiding something was enough of an achievement.
This place looked perfect, but it was never truly perfect.
The moment it showed me such a place for whatever reason, the moment it forcibly censored the gallery, it had effectively proven that it was not perfect.
“To experiment with the anomaly... I’ll have to climb the Tower, won’t I?”
If I climbed the Tower again, perhaps I would have the same experience.
I needed TP to climb the Tower anyway, and I had to climb it to keep pace with the timer too.
In the end, after going in circles, all I could do was mindlessly climb the Tower.
‘Does it only appear in the Tower of Wisdom?’
That was something I had to verify as well.
If it was not a mere coincidence, I needed to find out whether it appeared in other Towers too, or whether it only appeared in the Tower of Wisdom, living up to its name.
In that case, rather than climbing each Tower in ten-floor increments, wouldn’t it be better to prioritize climbing the Tower of Wisdom further?
‘The TP income is more reliable there, too.’
Considering the time and difficulty involved in floors 11 through 20, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to keep challenging the 30th floor and beyond.
‘I need to check whether the same thing happens in the Tower of Mindscape and the Tower of Fate too, but....’
For now, I wanted to set my immediate target at the 50th floor of the Tower of Wisdom.
I needed to quickly gather TP, then acquire weapons and skill books, train, and prepare for the Tower of Trials.
Swipe.
“Hold on just a little longer.”
I muttered softly as I picked up the shield lying in the corner.
I should probably pass on an iron shield. Since I needed to save every penny, there was no reason to throw this one out and buy a new one.
It would be better to upgrade my sword one more tier or learn an offensive skill.
So what I needed to do now was—
*
[Why the fuck isn’t the newbie climbing the Tower]
[Please stop posting shit]
[You keep dropping bait and showering us with dopamine but not cola, fuck]
[Duyu... dyaa? Ttyaa... dyu...!]
[Upvote if you turned on notifications for the newbie LOLLLLL]
“Haaaa....”
All I could do was sigh.
I had told him not to go inactive, and he had really done nothing except stay active.
No follow-up report on the anomaly. No word that he was climbing the Tower, no proof posts.
He wasn’t even handing out other food like cola.
He was doing absolutely none of it.
He was literally spending all twenty-four hours in the gallery, laughing and chatting away.
‘It’s not like that’s wrong, but....’
People had become far too addicted to the newbie.
Not that I was one to talk, but... I was in the position of having to look after the newbie, so it couldn’t be helped.
“...That’s right. I have to look after him.”
I had to take even better care of the newbie, who was like a younger brother, if I wanted to protect him.
Whether he was hurt anywhere, whether he was exhausted.
I knew I was being a little excessive, but I couldn’t help it either.
Swipe.
“I want to drink the cola already....”
After all, I had received such a precious thing twice already.
Every day, coming back from the Tower, washing up, eating bread, and taking a sip of cola made me unbelievably happy.
“Is it really okay for me to do this...?”
While everyone else prayed to win the raffle, or wrote comments while pretending to be idiots just to barely get one—
I had done nothing and received two.
Normally, I would have said it was fine and told him to share them with others... but I simply could not resist the temptation.
I resisted posting proof in the gallery and secretly drank them all by myself.
After watching the gallery for fifteen hundred years, I knew that if I posted this, there was a good chance I would not receive any more from then on. Or the newbie would get cursed out every time he gave me one.
So... so I selfishly decided to just stay quiet.
Because I thought maybe he would give me another one later. Because I wanted to drink one again later.
“Ugh....”
I felt guilty over nothing, while the newbie seemed perfectly fine.
[What am I doing instead of climbing the Tower?]
[Author: WikiPippi]
I’m resting, yeah?
[Why am I resting?]
[Author: WikiPippi]
Just rested.
‘It’s not like resting is ever a bad thing, but....’
There were still several weeks left on the stage timer, so resting for a little while was not a problem.
Other people rested when they got tired too. There were surely people who pushed through quickly after struggling, then took several days off in a row.
But....
[Comments]
Anonymous: You want to see me lose my mind??
Anonymous: Fuck, I don’t get my dopamine if you don’t climb;
543rd Run: Seriously, I’m so fucking curious where you’ll get stuck, so don’t rest.
Philosopher's Stone: Give us more information about the anomaly.
Rabbit Hops: If you’re going to rest, could you at least give us cola??
┗Rabbit Hops: (Sticker of a rabbit perking up its ears)
┗Dog That Barks at Idiots: (Sticker of a dog barking like mad)
“Haaaa....”
Every post and every comment was about the newbie.
They were all going crazy over him, barely stopping short of mentioning his username.
‘I’m really worried....’
Though nobody had ever had the same impact as the wiki newbie, there had been people who drew attention before.
It was just that their endings had not been good.
The more the gallery’s attention focused on one person, the greater the aftermath when that person died or left.
The more popular they were, the more they entertained everyone, the more they became something like an idol in this stifling place.
And when someone like that vanished in an instant, everyone was forced to face reality.
‘This really is hell.’
I hoped no one would become depressed.
I wanted them to survive somehow, even if things were hard, even if they were sad. Holding on to the hope that they would escape someday.
That was why I was grateful to the newbie, yet at the same time desperately hoped people would not become too obsessed with him.
I was worried that the newbie might feel burdened for no reason, but—
[New post from WikiPippi]
[First come, first served: one chicken @@@@@@@]
[Author: WikiPippi]
Yeah.
[Comments]
WikiPippi (Author): First place LOL
┗Anonymous: Fuck.
┗dd: Is this guy actually insane?
┗Anonymous: I seriously want to beat the shit out of him;
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: First place!!
┗Anonymous: Too old and slow LOL
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Do you really want to die?!
‘He really doesn’t seem burdened at all....’
I wasn’t sure whether it was fortunate or not that he did not seem to mind in the slightest.
Step.
Smiling as I watched the newbie laugh his way around the gallery, I took a step forward.
I left the hideout, glanced around the dark cavern, then lifted my head to check the timer.
-1534-
[End 30:04:00:37]
[Stage 2:04:00:37]
[378 / 329]
‘Good thing I got the Tower of Fate done in advance.’
My pace had been a little slower than usual, but I had already finished the hardest one, so it should be fine.
Even if I only climbed one floor a day, I would have time to spare.
I still did not know how much time I would need to spend on the 100th floors, but it would probably be similar to usual.
[Tower of Trials]
Rumble...!
The instant the Tower’s doors closed, the scenery before me changed.
Cawww!
Cawww—!!
Late at night, with darkness fallen.
A dim sky where the moon was veiled by clouds, and the unpleasant cries of crows filling my ears.
Swipe.
An ominous forest lay behind me, while before me stretched a narrow, precarious path resembling a cliffside.
“It’s big....”
At the end of the cliff-like path, a tall castle wall had been smashed apart.
There had not been fantasy-type monsters for a while, but judging by its appearance, it seemed to be one of them.
Boom—!!
Craaaash—!!
“Kwoooaargh!!”
“A dragon.”
Something like a sharp claw... tore through the castle wall.
A gigantic dragon placed its foot atop the wall as it crumbled down like sand.
More precisely, I murmured as I looked at the enormous deep-blue dragon that resembled the night sky.
Step.
‘How long will this take?’
Seizing hold of the waves around me, I slowly stepped forward.
At a glance, it looked to be hundreds of times larger than my body.
I had no idea how long it would take.
It might take days, or I might even die.
Still, I was not particularly afraid.
The only thought I had was that I needed to return before anything happened to the newbie.
‘I should finish quickly and get back to drink cola.’
...Other than that, cola was about all I could think of.
Craaaash—!!!
“Whew.”
The dragon kept smashing the castle wall as though it were enraged, and I stretched out my hand.
I had no idea how thick and tough that hide would be, but I figured I would start by peeling it away bit by bit.
Whoosh—
With a casual gesture, I fired a sharp wave of pressure toward the dragon’s head.
Slaaash—!!!!
“Khaaaaargh!!”
A long wound split open from its neck to its face.
As dark red blood spurted out and the dragon screamed, I took another step forward.
‘Shallow.’
It seemed the Tower of Trials would not take very long this time either.
*
[New comment from Not an Eraser]
Not an Eraser (Author)🔸: Tower climb
‘The head mod went in too, so should I head out soon?’
After seeing the notification marking the head mod’s daily attendance, I rose from my seat with a long stretch.
I left the hideout, which had become as familiar as home, and casually looked up at the cavern’s timer.
I had been acting in the gallery as if I were really doing nothing.
As if I were just resting for no particular reason and soaking up attention.
-1-
[End 340:19:47:32]
[Stage 3:19:47:32]
[89 / 28]
But in reality, I had been diligently climbing the Tower of Wisdom for the past week.
There was no special reason to hide it.
I just rested... no, I just hid it.
If I had to find a reason, it was simply because I thought it would be more fun that way.
‘If I pretend to rest, then pull a surprise and come back after clearing thirty floors, they’ll definitely lose their minds.’
You had to give out snacks only occasionally. If you gave them out too often, people got spoiled.
Even if I reported every ten floors each time, they would only get tired of it eventually.
[Tower of Wisdom]
“Whew.”
I steadied my breathing as I looked up at the Tower in front of me.
Over the past week, as I climbed from the 21st to the 49th floor of the Tower of Wisdom, the anomaly had not appeared once.
And if you asked whether anything particularly dangerous had happened while climbing, the answer to that was no as well.
At each floor... no, I had experienced a few heart-stopping moments on the 30th and 40th floors, but in the end, I cleared them neatly thanks to the wiki.
Just as on the 20th floor, the wiki had ended up solving everything for me.
‘I feel like it might have gotten smarter since then, too....’
A walkthrough was not a perfect answer, so I could not be certain, but I did have that impression.
Of course, it could just be my imagination.
‘Let’s just go in.’
Rumble...!!
Clearing away my stray thoughts, I threw open the Tower’s doors.
The doors soon began closing by themselves with a thunderous roar—
Claaang—!!
“Oh....”
In an instant, the Tower transformed into a rural village from a fantasy world.
Intense sunlight beat down from above, and a basket creaked and swayed over a well.
There was not a person in sight, but there were traces of everyday life everywhere.
An ordinary rural village like something from a comic or anime stood before me... one that did not seem all that developed.
‘It’s been a while since I got an outdoor setting.’
Step.
As I blankly looked around, I heard footsteps.
“Ah, you’ve finally arrived...!!”
At the voice that soon rang out, I turned around as though entranced—
“Are you the inspector sent from the capital? From the capital?!”
“...Pardon?”
“You were dispatched to capture the suspicious fellow hiding in our village, weren’t you...!!”
“...”
I blinked blankly at the old man, who clasped my hand and spoke with the desperate eagerness of someone who had been waiting for me.
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