‘My hard-earned 300 TP...!!’
I wanted to get a refund immediately, but unfortunately, no such feature existed. I’d already looked into it once before.
[1L Cola] - 30 TP
‘If only it weren’t for the tariffs...’
My heart pounded.
A small fortune—enough to devour a whole pizza again tomorrow evening—had vanished right before my eyes.
"I should’ve just given it to the mod."
Or I should have sent it to the gallery user who’d taught me the most about swords over the past week.
[★ LOL, did you think I’d defend you if I got this?] (45)
I let out a hollow laugh at the post, which shot straight to the hot posts as comments flooded in.
With bitterness filling my mouth, I clicked on Anonymous’s post.
[★ LOL, did you think I’d defend you if I got this?]
[Author: Anonymous]
(Photo of an empty 1L plastic cola bottle)
If that was what you thought, then surely you are a wise person indeed.
And if you did not think that, then I am once again moved by your boundless generosity.
To think that you would bestow your grace even upon this unbeliever who dared curse you without understanding your will... a single tear falls from my eye before I even realize it.
How pathetic I am. How it contrasts with your warm heart.
The greater my shame toward myself becomes, the more I come to respect you.
Ah, you.
No, Newbie.
This world without you was hell.
Coming here may have been a tragic misfortune for you, but to us, you have become a bright light of hope.
Please remain here forever, eternal and undying.
This humble message is from Anonymous, who will believe in and follow you for life.
The greatest GOAT in Infinite Regression Gallery history.
The greatest GOAT in primate history.
One and only. Untouchable. I worship you...
Upvotes 70 / Downvotes 140
[Comments]
Anonymous: There are seriously nothing but insane bastards here, fuck.
Anonymous: SIUUUUUUUUUU
6373: Telling him to stay here eternally and undying is a curse, though.
┗ Anonymous: That was the point, lmao.
┗ Anonymous: Words born from experience, damn.
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Ah... You need to savor that...!!
┗ Anonymous (Author): The Newbie will surely bestow his love upon us again. It is not such a serious problem.
┗ Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Oh, right!! We can just get more from the Newbie!
┗ Anonymous: These guys just assume they’ll be getting more;
Rabbit Hops: I’m so... so jealous... Why can’t I...
┗ Rabbit Hops: (Rabbit wiping away tears emote)
┗ Dog That Barks at Idiots: (Dog barking like crazy emote)
Anonymous: So what does it taste like..?
┗ Anonymous (Author): It tastes of the truth of the world. A heavenly beverage brewed from God’s tears.
┗ Anonymous: Ah, fuck, why are you the only one who gets to drink itㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Anonymous: Wait, I’m going to curse the Newbie too.
┗ Sword Saint Wiki: Sure, I’m going to make a note about you too.
┗ Anonymous: Just kidding~!
┗ dd: This guy is fucking good at getting on top, lol.
"Is this guy crazy?"
I laughed in disbelief.
I couldn’t stop grinning. Groveling this hard was practically an art form.
Things could have gotten weird if this Anonymous had sincerely come at me, but thankfully, the result exceeded even my expectations.
‘See that? For a mere 300 TP, I became that guy’s god.’
This was more than worth the price of a pizza.
If I had more TP, I would’ve handed out more. I really needed to regress soon and reduce those tariffs.
I wasn’t planning to mindlessly throw it around, but the amount I was able to send right now was far too little.
‘This is the best I can do, though.’
It was just a shame I couldn’t tell them that.
*
[Create Post]
‘This should do.’
I gave the post I’d written a quick once-over, then hit the submit button.
[Master, your disciple has returned.]
[Author: Sword Saint Wiki]
Of course, there are very few among you who gave me proper instruction...
Still, because you mocked me, I was able to realize that I was wrong...
In a way, perhaps your ridicule became the growing pains that helped me develop...
So please continue to mock me for as long as you wish.
"Because I’ll turn that ridicule into cheers."
What I want to say) Get in line. I’m handing out cola.
Only swordsmen, by the way. I’ll require proof that you voted before.
[Comments]
Anonymous: This guy changes his whole gimmick every damn day.
Anonymous: What about mages? What about mages? What about mages? What about mages?
Superiority of Dual Swords: You don’t need any of that, so switch to dual swords right now!!!
┗ Sword Saint Wiki (Author): Okay, then you’re excluded.
┗ Superiority of Dual Swords: Why!!! You don’t have to exclude me!!!
┗ Superiority of Dual Swords: I’m sorry... I want to drink cola too...
Anonymous: Upvote if you’re a sword bro who’s been doing nothing but mocking him but is quietly getting in line now, lol.
Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: I make swords with fire magic and launch sword strikes with wind magic, so I count as a swordsman, right?
┗ Anonymous: Fuck, do you have no pride as a mage?
┗ Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: Does pride put food on the table?
┗ Anonymous: And this guy does?
┗ Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: He’s putting food on the table right now.
┗ Anonymous: ......You’re right? I can use [Wind Cutter], can I get in line too?
┗ dd: Moron and idiot, lol.
Ding!
I snickered at the notifications that kept chiming without pause.
‘That Anonymous from earlier really helped the reaction take off.’
I liked it. They said to strike while the iron was hot, and the synergy with that groveling post was beyond anything I’d imagined.
[TP Held: 2,923]
‘If I spend another 300 from here...’
It was a little wasteful. It wasn’t even a penalty surcharge—the tariffs being ten times higher was brutal.
Honestly, I had no obligation to hand anything out, but steadily building goodwill was more effective.
‘And it won’t hurt if I want to keep getting their help in the future.’
It wasn’t as if I’d received no help at all over the past week.
The first form photo I posted had around a hundred mocking comments; the one I posted after practicing had dropped to ten.
Some gallery users had even uploaded photos or videos themselves.
‘I’ll keep earning TP anyway.’
It wasn’t a bad deal if I thought of it as eating one less pizza.
*
"......!"
Wow.
Uh...
Huh??
This was strange. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
"Urgh...."
A thin scream leaked from my gaping mouth.
It hurt. I felt like I was dying.
I handed out another cola in the gallery and fell asleep from exhaustion, but when I woke up, something was wrong.
‘Could it be what I crashed into earlier...?’
I couldn’t move my body. It felt as though my entire body would shatter if I exerted even the slightest force.
"Huff... huff...."
I drew in ragged breaths.
It hadn’t been this bad before I went to sleep, but cold sweat was pouring down me like rain.
I was fine as long as I lay still, but the instant I so much as twitched, it was straight to hell.
‘There isn’t even a hospital...’
There was no one else in this tower but me.
There was nobody who could help if I got hurt like this.
"Ah...."
I remembered the mod’s notice saying that injuries were truly the worst—that time would just pass while you were trapped there, unable to do anything.
Was I supposed to wait in this state until I healed naturally?
No, would this body even heal naturally in the first place?
I had pushed my body harder than ever yesterday, and I had only just woken up, so all kinds of aches were probably piling up, but...
Even accounting for that, I couldn’t imagine my body getting back to normal in just a day or two.
[Newbie fuking dying]
[Author: Sword Saint Wiki]
My back wnt out and I feel liek I’m gonna die.
Ah, fck... Shouldn’t have gottn cocky...
What do I do..?
It was pathetic that the only place I could turn to for help was an anonymous community.
But I had to do even this. Someone might have a good idea.
‘Even if you’re in pain... even if you’ve been in an accident... a true gallery addict checks the gallery first...!’
Ding! Ding!
‘I can’t even read the comments....’
Simply lifting my head for a moment and moving my fingers was hell.
I really thought this was the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life.
‘Ah, no.’
Had it hurt worse when I threw myself in front of that moving car because of that bastard who ran the orphanage?
I didn’t remember clearly, but it hurt about that much.
"Sob...."
Somehow gritting my teeth through it, I checked the comments—
[Comments]
Anonymous: RIP
Anonymous: Hand out cola before you die@@@@@@@@
Not an Eraser🔸: Are you okay, Wiki?! I told you not to overdo it...!!
┗ Not an Eraser🔸: Don’t look at the gallery. Just get plenty of sleep. There’s nothing else you can do.
┗ Sword Saint Wiki (Author): That doesn’t help at all...
┗ Not an Eraser🔸: I’m sorry I can’t help you... If I could, I’d like to nurse you myself...
dd: If it hurts badly enough that you’re really going to die, dying is an option too.
Anonymous: Go reset yourself.
‘Nothing but useless assholes....’
I hadn’t expected much in the first place, but I still felt depressed for no reason.
Either sleep it off and endure, or go die.
And one Anonymous was still telling me to hand out cola, just like yesterday.
‘You’re going in my notes, fucker.’
Even if I survive and become rich in TP, I’m not handing out a damn thing to you.
"Oh, God...."
Ding, ding—
Comment notifications kept coming, but I didn’t want to look at them.
They weren’t any help anyway, and even looking for a moment was exhausting.
Ding!!
So I wanted to ignore them, but maybe because I was in pain, even the notification sound felt irritating.
I thought I would just turn off the notifications and sleep some more, and the moment I entered the gallery—
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: Can’t you get medicine or something for the Newbie? Like how you got cola or chicken or whatever!
‘......Oh.’
My eyes flew open at the elf’s comment, wondering why I hadn’t thought of that.
Without even thinking to leave a thank-you comment, I entered Starpang as if possessed.
[Bandages] - 30 TP
[Cold Medicine] - 100 TP
[Hemostatic] - 500 TP
.
.
.
[Cure-All] - 4,500,000 TP
[World Tree’s Dew] - 100,000,000 TP
"Urgh...."
The moment I searched for ‘medicine,’ all sorts of products appeared, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
"They’re fucking expensive...."
If I’d known this would happen, I wouldn’t have eaten pizza yesterday.
[Spray Pain Relief Patch] - 50 TP
[Painkillers] - 500 TP
[Muscle Relaxant] - 700 TP
[Total: 1,250 TP]
[Would you like to purchase?]
Tap.
I bit my lip as I made the purchase, then set down my phone and closed my eyes.
[Time Remaining Until Delivery: 5 minutes]
Five minutes. I just had to hold on for five minutes.
I didn’t know whether this would make me better, but it was the best I could do.
There were plenty of things I’d never heard of, like portable nanomachines and World Tree’s Dew... but they were absurdly expensive.
‘Hang in there, Han Seol....’
Even if recovery took a while, saving even a little TP was the right call.
The section timer still had several weeks left, after all.
I had been happily imagining buying a new weapon or skill book with my remaining TP, but I couldn’t spend any more than this.
If only I could have filed an insurance claim....
"Hoo...."
I trembled as I endured for a while.
Ding!
I forced a smile at the notification telling me it had arrived.
—No, I tried to smile, then squeezed my eyes shut.
"Fuck...."
[Delivery Complete]
[Delivery Location: Outside the door]
For something like this, just deliver it right in front of me....
*
Drip... drip....
"One million twenty-one... one million twenty-two...."
I frowned at the beads of sweat soaking the floor.
My arms trembled. I was already dying after doing just twenty push-ups.
"O-one million thirty-five... one million thirty-six...!!"
Another week passed from the day my back pain had knocked me flat.
The medicine I’d bought from Starpang worked better than expected. I didn’t know if I was healing, but at least the pain had definitely lessened.
The best part was probably that there had been more of it than I expected.
I had been depressed about spending 1,250 TP, but the supplies that arrived contained enough for a month’s use, which made it feel less bad.
"I-I can’t do any more...!"
After barely reaching forty, I collapsed onto the floor.
I’d started strength training yesterday, partly as rehabilitation.
After getting hurt, I understood clearly. I had to do it if I wanted to survive. With a body like this, there was no way I would survive for years, let alone decades.
-1-
[End 348:01:12:21]
[Section 4:01:12:21]
[ 50 / 21 ]
‘Still, I made it two hours.’
I wasn’t in good enough shape to challenge the tower right away, but I could at least work out somehow.
‘Anyone who sees these arms is going to fall for me.’
I smiled in satisfaction at my arms, their biceps and triceps already bulging viciously, then picked up the phone I had set aside.
[Breaking)) Newbie missing for a week] (32)
[Did the Newbie die?] (19)
[Gone dark for a week, damn] (24)
[Congressman Wiki! Return to us!!] (20)
‘Let’s go—regret, misery, obsession.’
I hadn’t posted in the gallery since making that post saying I was dying of pain.
For the first day or two, they seemed to think I was deliberately ignoring them, but after that, the gallery’s atmosphere really started to get strange.
[LOL, that guy is definitely lurking and enjoying this, yeah]
[Author: Anonymous]
So please come back, Newbie.
Fuck, I still haven’t gotten to drink cola.
"Heh heh."
I smiled at a post that had figured me out after just two weeks of my being in the tower.
As I browsed the similarly themed comments, I moved my fingers and left one myself.
Anonymous: This is all because of the bastards who cursed the Newbie back then;;
From a burner account, naturally.
Of course, it wasn’t as though I hadn’t been using the gallery this whole time.
I simply hadn’t posted with the Sword Saint Wiki account. I’d been posting diligently with other accounts.
I was too hurt to move, and there was no other entertainment. How was I supposed to live without the gallery?
I had been subtly manipulating public opinion from beneath the surface.
[This is still the Infinite Regression Gallery, but it feels weird;] (11)
[It’s hard to find someone that crazy, seriously] (5)
[It’s not like this is my first time seeing a Newbie, but I’m just waiting for that guy’s posts;] (22)
[I’m a Newbie too. He’ll come back if I post lewd pics, yeah] (18)
‘You only realize it was spring after the flowers have fallen.’
I was a flower that was beautiful, smelled nice, and had great effects, after all.
As I browsed the gallery and headed back to my hideout—
[Wiki, I’ll show you my breasts, so come back]
"......!!"
My fingers moved faster than light at the post that had just gone up.
I hadn’t been the one who said I’d come back if someone posted lewd pics, but maybe they had responded to that post.
[This post has been deleted.]
"Fuck!!"
The mod had reacted with surgical speed and deleted it.
I got there in literally three seconds. I was guaranteed to be view number one.
It was the first time I’d ever been angry because the mod did their job too well.
Ding!
[New comment from Not an Eraser]
[New comment from Not an Eraser]
Speak of the tiger, and the tiger comes right over.
"......Should I start posting again soon?"
I gave a bitter smile at the new comment notifications from the mod and checked their contents.
Not an Eraser🔸: Wiki, you’re okay, right...?
Not an Eraser🔸: Even if you’re hurt or have no appetite, you need to eat some bread and drink water. Make sure to chew thoroughly so you don’t get indigestion...
Not an Eraser🔸: I’m so worried... Are you badly hurt...?
Not an Eraser🔸: (Bizarre creature crying emote)
For the past week, comments had been appearing three times a day on the very first post I had uploaded.
My conscience stabbed at me. The mod was particularly kind no matter what they said, and seeing them waste away with worry hurt my heart.
‘Imagining her as a pretty girl makes me feel even guiltier....’
All the more because this wasn’t why I had gone dark.
"I should make my next plan."
Thinking that I couldn’t put it off any longer, I logged into my main account.
I was mostly done manipulating public opinion, and I wanted to start receiving some direct attention soon.
I also wanted advice on which towers to climb and how to climb them going forward.
‘I need to figure out how to reliably obtain TP and make it work for me.’
After getting injured once, and thinking about it coolly over the past week, I realized that my future wasn’t all that bright.
I couldn’t be sure I would keep surviving forever through sheer luck and the wiki’s help.
For the goal of becoming an Irregular, I needed to plan my future a little more systematically.
Tap... tap!
And so, using that dearly missed nickname, I made a post for the first time in a week—
Dingdingdingding—
I grinned at the notifications going off like mad.
[I’ll come back if you show me your breasts, yeah]
It wouldn’t be any fun if I just came back normally.
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