Chapter 35: The Lucky Long-Eared Noble
*
Thuuuum!!
"It’s here!"
It was a sound she had heard once before.
The instant she heard that the newbie’s gift had arrived, she dashed out of her hideout.
Rustle.
"That smell...!"
When she peeled away the unfamiliar wrapping, the food she had seen in the gallery appeared beneath it.
What was this smell?
She had somewhat imagined it from the pictures, but smelling it in person was on an entirely different level.
A sweet smell, a savory smell, and other scents she had never encountered in her life...
"I-I can really eat this, right?!"
Gulp.
Drool streamed down her chin.
It had already been over four hundred years since she entered this place.
If not for the newbie, she would still be eating nothing but that hard bread.
She would have spent the rest of her life eating only that bread, too.
"Thank you, newbie─!!!"
Holding the Bugi? up toward the sky, she shouted at the newbie, who had no way of hearing her.
"Long live Bugi! Long live the newbie!"
If not for the newbie, wouldn’t she surely be crying right now?
Some might criticize her for shedding tears at her age, but she did not care. Even if they cursed her for not acting her age, it made no difference.
Call it childish behavior if you wanted. She had never met another person in her entire life.
She had never seen or learned how adults behaved, so what did age even matter?
At least in the gallery, she would live however she wanted.
Drip.
"Sss..."
Just how delicious would this be?
She had been incredibly shocked when she drank cola last time, too.
"Cola..."
Closing her eyes, she recalled her first encounter with cola.
Back then, she had been stunned to realize that the newbie could send food to other people!
It felt like only yesterday that she had stared at the cola in wonder.
‘Though I was nervous when I actually tried to drink it.’
The black liquid that looked unsettling somehow, and the gallery users talking about curses and such.
Honestly, she had been scared. But she did not want to go back to eating only bread and water, so she squeezed her eyes shut and gave it a try.
She could not drink it properly because it kept overflowing... but regardless, it was incredible.
"The cola was supposed to be mine too...!!"
The newbie had tricked her.
If he had told her from the start that she had won both prizes, she would not have left that comment.
Honestly, it was deeply unfair, but she decided to forgive him just this once.
After all, the newbie had sent her Bugi too! Next time there was a vote, she would make sure to ask for both.
‘This isn’t the time for that.’
She had to eat before it got any later. Her usual mealtime had already been delayed considerably.
Of course, that was because she had been about to eat her bread when she saw the newbie return and immediately threw it away.
"Thank you for the meal!"
Holding the warm Bugi in her hands, she took a huge bite.
"!!!"
What—what was this flavor?
They were surely all things she had eaten somewhere before.
The bread, the vegetables, the meat, the cheese.
She had surely eaten each of them at least once before she entered this place.
Could simply eating all of them together make them taste this good?
"It’s delicious...!!"
She had never eaten food this delicious in her life.
Not during the four hundred years she had spent in the Tower, nor during the more than thousand years she had been trapped beneath the roots of the World Tree, had she ever eaten anything like this.
"Sob... I can’t believe food this delicious exists in the world..."
This was an even greater shock than cola had been. Tears of emotion even began to leak from her eyes.
From now on, she should be good to the newbie.
There had been a reward for desperately climbing the Tower even when it was difficult and painful.
"Delicious... It’s so delicious..."
She felt as though she had found a reason to survive no matter what.
She had been starting to want to give up on everything, but for the sake of the food the newbie gave her, she thought she could keep living a little longer.
She did not think she could endure any longer, but this seemed like it would let her hold on for a little more.
"..."
Drip, drip.
Both in her original world and in this one.
She had lived without ever once speaking face-to-face with another person, but still, she should keep living.
She did not know what she was living for, but she had been told that she had to live anyway.
Because she was someone chosen by the World Tree.
"It’s okay. I’m used to it."
She wiped away the tears falling for some reason with the hand that held the Bugi.
It had only been four hundred years. Compared to the more than thousand years she spent unable even to talk to anyone, having the gallery now was better.
"Ngh...!"
Perhaps the sauce on her hand had gotten into her eye, because it stung terribly. Her eyes hurt too much to open.
Yet it was so delicious, and she was surely happy, but tears kept coming.
She shut her stinging eyes tight and continued eating the Bugi.
She could endure this much pain, this much loneliness, as much more as it took.
Chomp.
"S’good...!"
*
[★ Fuck, damn it!! It’s a curse!! I’m curseddddd!!!!]
[Author: Anonymous]
(Photo of an empty 1L cola bottle)
Fuck, I chugged this all at once and threw up everything in my stomach.
It looked ominous just from looking at it so I was hesitant, but everyone kept praising it, so I trusted them and drank it, fuck.
Feels like I got stabbed with thorns from my throat to my stomach.
The taste is weird too, and the instant it touches my tongue it just feels fucking strange;
Never drink this shit again, seriously.
If I catch that newbie bastard, I’ll shove this down his throat and show him hell, yeah.
Upvotes: 142 Downvotes: 458
[Comments]
Anonymous: Bitching even after getting something for free.
Anonymous: Caught the idiot who chugged cola in one go LMAOOOO
HolyLight: Black liquid is the source of curses... It is your own fault for attempting to drink it even after seeing it.
┗Anonymous: Why are you saying that when you lined up for it too?
┗HolyLight: You must purify it before drinking it.
┗Anonymous: Dude, you’re fucking nuts;
Anonymous: Fuck, you drank the whole thing anyway and now you’re saying this.
Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: So what does it taste like?
┗Anonymous (Author): I don’t know, fuck.
┗Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: No, fuck, I want to know too!!!!!!!
‘Hmm... It turned out just as that sage regular said it would.’
Overwhelming dislike.
Not everyone’s first experience with cola could possibly be positive.
Of course there would be people who could not handle carbonation.
I was not particularly angry.
It was a bit of a waste of TP, but seeing this, it was something bound to happen someday.
‘Should I give him aftercare or not...’
If he wanted, I could send him something else to drink, whether fresh fruit juice or milk.
The question was simply whether that would be worth ten times the tariff.
"Hmm."
Send cola to a new gallery user versus taking care of an anonymous user who was angry even after receiving it.
Honestly, if I picked the former, everyone would be happy. If I picked the latter, everyone except that guy would be angry.
‘I have no intention of saying anything when he’s already getting beaten up without me stepping in, but...’
People were tearing into him, saying that if he was going to complain after receiving it, he should not have lined up for it in the first place.
It was an honest review, so he did not deserve to be cursed at. The problem was that there were easily hundreds of people besides him who wanted it.
Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: You stole my cola and drank it, and now it’s a curse?! Then you shouldn’t have drunk it!!!
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: I wanted to eat Bugi and drink cola together!!! Because of you!!!!
┗Long-Eared Noble O, Elf X: And what?! You should be thanking the newbie, and instead you’re saying hell?!?!
In particular, Long-Eared Noble, who had posted a lengthy ode praising Bugi, was attacking with the force of a hundred men.
┗Anonymous: Stay out of this, fuck.
┗dd: You should be satisfied with your Bugi too LOL
┗Anonymous: Is she an ally or an enemy?
┗Anonymous: Grandma, stop being hysterical.
Though she was getting beaten up too.
"Ah, whatever."
As the comments continued multiplying, I made up my mind and left a comment.
I asked what he wanted, telling him to name something else he wanted to drink or a fruit he liked.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Countless gallery users besides the author were stunned by my comment and flooded it with replies.
They asked if I was really going to give him something else, begged me not to, and pleaded for me to give it to them instead.
I smiled at the sight of them weeping while growing even angrier at the poster.
┗Anonymous (Author): If I tell you, you’ll give me something else? Orange, yeah.
┗StarpoorWiki: Okay.
┗Anonymous: No, fuck, are you really giving him something again??
┗dd: Ah, please;
┗Baldness Not Stopped Even by a Ninth-Circle Archmage: If you’re going to give it to that guy, hold another drawing and hand out cola instead.
┗Superiority of Dual Swords: I’ve never insulted the newbie even once, so why...!!
[Send Gift]
[Orange Juice] - 30 TP
In response to his comment that he wanted oranges, I coolly sent him a gift right away.
As replies continued piling up, I shrugged and made a new post.
[About Going Forward...]
[Author: StarpoorWiki]
I didn’t think things through...
There are people who have never had cola before, but I got too caught up in wanting to share something I like...
I sent him something else he wanted because I felt sorry..
I hope he likes it this time, and I’d like him to make another verification post so we can check.
Also, I don’t think I’ll be handing out cola from now on..
I’m sharing it because I feel bad eating and drinking it all by myself, but this ability is actually kind of burdensome...
Seeing someone say they’d show me hell made me feel pretty down.. I don’t think I’ll be able to hand things out for a while, sorry...
P.S.
But don’t curse at the person who posted the review too much!
I want everyone to be happy..!
"Hmm, perfect."
I gave him aftercare while setting him up for a public lynching.
I had helped the person who insulted me, even using an ability that burdened me.
That the intervals between my giveaways would grow longer, and that I would no longer hand out cola, were all that anonymous user’s fault.
Adding that postscript made it perfect targeting.
A post written like that, followed by a P.S. saying not to insult him? Anyone could see it was an order to beat him half to death.
‘I’m a saint who gives even after being insulted, while that guy is a devil who gobbled it all up and then begged for more.’
Ding! Ding! Ding!
I smiled at the gallery users who understood my profound intentions.
Comments were probably multiplying like crazy under that anonymous user’s post by now.
Now I just had to go offline for about half a day and come back.
I would make them think I had been hurt and bring the mood down, then later start restoring order by handing out a cola.
The gallery users worried that they might never get to drink cola again?
The anonymous user who would get pounded nonstop for writing a bad review post?
‘I’m the victim here, so whatever.’
I had done absolutely nothing wrong in this matter.
[Gallery Notifications OFF]
In other words! Not my problem!
"Hmm~."
I got up and stretched, then sucked down the remaining cola.
Wiping the grease from the fries on the bag, I headed for my hideout.
‘Time to go shopping.’
Whether the gallery burned down or not, I was going to savor my reward for the suffering of the past week.
*
"Sss..."
Lying on the rough blanket, I let out a deep breath.
This was a dilemma. I was agonizing over how to spend my TP.
[TP Owned: 13,093]
‘If I assume I’ll hand out one more cola later, that leaves around twelve thousand TP...’
I could use roughly 1.2 million won on shopping.
[Practice Steel Sword] - 3,000 TP
[Single Bed] - 3,000 TP
These two were certain, at least.
No matter what happened, I intended to purchase both.
‘It’s fucking expensive for a practice sword, seriously.’
The wooden sword was one thousand TP, but the next step had tripled right away.
I wanted to move straight to the next tier, but I could not even see what it cost in advance.
And as for the bed──
‘I can’t go back to a life without a bed...!’
I could not possibly forget the feel of that bed I experienced in the Tower of Wisdom.
I did not think I would ever be able to sleep again on this straw-like blanket I was lying on now.
"...Let’s just buy them first."
I had looked through various other listings too, but I did not really know what I should buy.
There were so many things I wanted. I had narrowed them down somewhat, but I could not decide for certain which choice was right.
[Practice Steel Sword] - 3,000 TP
[Single Bed] - 3,000 TP
[Total: 6,000 TP]
Gulp.
An amount of money that the me from the first week could never have imagined.
Honestly, even on Earth, paying 600,000 won in one lump sum would not have been easy.
‘Not that installments are even an option.’
[Your order has been completed.]
[Remaining delivery time: 5 minutes]
I did not deliberate for long and completed the purchase immediately.
This would let me see the price of the tier after the Practice Steel Sword.
The price of that sword would determine the quality of the skill book... no, guidebook I would buy.
[Iron Sword] - 10,000 TP
"Holy fuck..."
Not one thousand, three thousand, or five thousand.
Not one thousand, three thousand, or even nine thousand.
It leaped all the way to ten thousand. A million won for just the third tier—wasn’t this pricing a little ridiculous?
‘Then how much is the next tier?’
Fifty thousand? I was at the point of being afraid that, for all I knew, a hundred thousand might pop up.
The thought of how much I would lose if it broke by mistake like the wooden sword made my hand tremble.
Swipe.
[TP Owned: 7,093]
In that case, the skill book... no, the guidebook...
"Ah, I’m just going to call it a skill book."
A skill was a technique, so whatever, it was the same thing.
[Royal Palace Knights Basic Swordsmanship Form 1] - 1,000 TP
[Royal Palace Knights Basic Swordsmanship Form 2] - 2,000 TP
[Royal Palace Knights Basic Swordsmanship Form 3] - 3,000 TP
‘Normally, I think I would have taken the standard route.’
I checked the prices of Basic Swordsmanship Form 1, which I had looked at before, as well as Forms 2 and 3, which suited my increased TP.
Six thousand TP for all three.
It was an affordable price, and considering the price, the chance of it being a scam was low too.
Before I had accumulated this much TP, I had planned to buy these and climb the Tower.
"Hmm..."
What I was deliberating over was whether the wiki would treat it as a skill it could assist with, like parrying.
If the wiki would assist me regardless of which skill book I bought.
If things straight out of a game really did keep happening.
[Wooden Staff] - 1,000 TP
[Beginner Basic Magic Theory] - 2,500 TP
[Royal Magic Academy Official Curriculum] - 4,500 TP
[Introduction to Lightning Magic] - 5,500 TP
I wondered whether it would not be better to learn this kind of magic instead.
If I could just click a skill and use it, if I did not have to master it with my own body, then magic would practically be godlike.
If it was possible at all, learning ranged combat would be more effective for me.
Having personally experienced the twentieth floor of the Tower of Wisdom, I concluded that fighting while physically clashing with someone was fucking terrifying after all.
"Haa..."
[Remaining delivery time: 1 minute]
As I deliberated for a while, I realized there was only one minute left until delivery.
‘...Wait, do I have to bring the bed in from outside too?’
It would be delivered outside my door, in the shared central area. Surely I would not have to drag it in from there and assemble it?
"Nah, probably not."
When I experimented before with bread and water, I confirmed that they were delivered directly to my hideout.
Items originally in the hideout settled into place as though they had been there from the beginning.
Surely the bed would be delivered where it had originally been──
Swipe.
‘...Then where would that be?’
I lowered my head and looked at the blanket covering me.
If a bed was delivered, it would be placed right where I was lying, wouldn’t it?
The odds were extremely, extremely high that it would be put in the spot where the blanket was automatically made every day, weren’t they?
Ding!
[Delivery completed.]
[Delivery location: Outside the door]
With Starpang’s notification that it had just arrived, I cautiously lifted my head.
"...Huh."
I blankly blinked at the black something floating in the air.
That was a bed, right...?
It was not about to fall like that, was it...?
Flash!
‘No, fuck, why is parrying activating now─!!’
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