My life is ruined, Mom and Dad.
At twenty-four, I somehow ended up with an unbelievably beautiful wife, and for some reason, it feels like she loves me so much she’s going to destroy me.
Grrrk...
=====
My current situation.
I used shock therapy on my first oath wife, Enterprise, after she fell into a state of total chaos and destruction.
It hurts like hell because I got shot by an arrow. Thankfully, Enterprise came to her senses. Good, good.
“Th-That’s not... what I meant...”
Watching Enterprise cry so hard her chest was practically soaked through, while Belfast stood beside her shedding tears of emotion, I started wondering how I was supposed to fix this mess. First things first, I needed to pull the arrow out of my leg. I was once a Commander like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee and could no longer be a Commander. Ugh... Skyrim guards, what is that even supposed to mean...!
“Um... Enterprise? Honey? Could you maybe back up a little?”
What I got in return was an embrace so tight it felt suffocating. Sure, having those generous curves pressed against me felt amazing, but wasn’t it a bit much to be unable to breathe to the point of asphyxiation? On top of that, the arrow in my leg started hurting even more. I’d better deal with this fast. Time for my trump card!
Thud
First, I sat down. Enterprise followed and sat down with me. Tears still streaming, she looked at me with a blissful smile. This woman is my wife. Good heavens, what in the world is happening? But after this comes nothing but pain, so I asked Belfast to bring me a white cloth.
“Belfast, bring me a white cloth. As fast as you can, got it?”
“Pardon? Master, what would you be using a white cloth for?”
Sorry, Belfast. For exactly this kind of thing.
“For this.”
Tap, squeeze, rrrrriiiip.
“Aaaahhhhhh, it hurts so fucking baaaad!”
I grabbed the arrow and yanked it out in one go. Good children, don’t do this when you grow up. Hah... the pain was beyond imagination. And then came the massive amount of blood. My blood was gushing away, and so was my sanity. I needed something to stop the bleeding.
“Ah...? M-Master...?”
“Husband...? Husband, husband, husband! Aaaahhh!”
Oh no, the two of them looked like they were about to lose their minds. I needed to calm them down fast. First, I had to tell Belfast what I needed.
“Be... Bell, hurry and get something to stop the bleeding...! Ack, ack, this hurts like hell!”
“Aaaah... yes... yes! Master, here!”
Belfast quickly snapped back to reality and used a pair of scissors nearby to cut off part of her maid dress skirt. Then she handed me the strip of fabric. But it looked like she’d cut off way too much. Belfast’s skirt had practically turned into a miniskirt! Much appreciated, burp. Anyway, at least I had something to stop the bleeding.
“Okay, first... tie it tight here... ngh...! And then if I twist it around here...”
There. Bleeding stopped! Let’s get proper treatment later. What a spectacularly long start to the day. First, I needed to calm these two down before they fully broke mentally. The two of them were trembling over there.
“All right, that’s enough. Belfast? Enterprise? Come on, snap out of it. I’m okay now. It’s just a little hard to walk.”
Hearing that, Belfast rushed over to check my condition, but Enterprise still hadn’t recovered. Look at her, still shaking like crazy.
“Ahhh... What... what did I do to my husband...? Because of me... someone like me...”
Enterprise started crying again, and Belfast began tending to me. No choice. I started crawling toward her. It hurt, sure, but she needed to calm down, so I had to reassure her.
Hug
“Aaaah... Husband... are you forgiving me...? I’m being healed... You’re healing me, stained by sin... Aaaah, my beloved husband...”
Wasn’t a hug the best thing for calming someone down? I hugged her tightly again. Thankfully, it seemed to work. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me back. But because I’d crawled over to her, blood started seeping out again. Just as I thought I’d need to rewrap it, Belfast came over. Ah, she must be about to stop the bleeding for me. The moment I let my body relax and handed myself over to her—
Lick
“Eeeek!”
Belfast knelt down and licked the blood flowing from my wound. This is insanely horror-like. Something about this is seriously wrong. An incredibly beautiful silver-haired, busty maid is kneeling and licking the blood from my wound. The atmosphere is weird.
“Aaaah... a part of Master is filling a part of me. Now I have become one body with Master. Master’s blood is entering my body... I, Belfast, am so happy...!”
Her dead-eyed, blushing face as she licked my blood... I thought there was no service quite like this. But there was an even bigger problem. Enterprise was right in front of me.
“Aaaah... Husband’s blood... it looks delicious... If my man is hurt, then as his wife I must serve him with all my strength...”
Lick, lick, lick
What is this, some kind of insanely elaborate hidden-camera prank?
No, it’s gross. My blood—stop licking it! If you suck all the blood out of me, are you going to give me a transfusion? I gave these two a transfusion, so now I’ve earned two transfusion vouchers. Nice. Everyone! From today on, I’m a blood bag! Come to me and I’ll give you free transfusions!
“Aaaah... Master’s blood, it’s truly... truly... exquisite... ♥”
“Husband... husband... I love you... I really love you... Even if I sacrifice my life... even if I make humanity my enemy... as long as I have you, I’m invincible... ♥”
Two unbelievably beautiful women, both with dead eyes and flushed faces, were panting as they sucked my blood. If a third party saw this, they’d probably describe it as something so grotesque it looped back around into something sacred. I could feel my sanity slipping.
“Well... I guess this is fine for now.”
Thinking I should just let them be until the bleeding stopped, I patted both of their heads. But why are you two trembling so much just because I’m petting your heads? You’re vibrating like motors...
Hahaha.
This is a total disaster.
=====
It was good that the bleeding finally stopped, but my pants were now covered in sticky saliva. Haaah... these pants weren’t even that expensive, but I guess I’ll have to change later... It felt like my dignity as a man had been stripped away.
“Husband, I’m really sorry... If I... hadn’t shot the arrow...”
There she goes, about to cry again. If you cry, I won’t have anyone to support me, you know. Please don’t cry.
Right now, Enterprise, Belfast, and I were heading to the broadcast room. Belfast was behind me, and Enterprise was supporting me with a hand on my shoulder. Why? Because I needed to announce the Commander’s return. But what if I get shelled by the girls? I’ve basically been doing nothing but neglect play.
“Don’t worry, Master. If there is any such subversive movement, I will execute them on the spot.”
“Rest assured, Husband. If there’s any woman like that, I’ll tear her to pieces and throw her to the bottom of the deep sea.”
The atmosphere felt like someone was about to get murdered. Or sunk, in this case. Still, it seemed like my safety was guaranteed, so I figured I should hurry and let everyone know. If I dragged this out any longer, I felt like something—something bad—was coming.
Before long, we reached the broadcast room. When I opened the door and went in, it was full of dust. Well, of course it was. Nobody had been here to broadcast. While Enterprise and Belfast prepared the equipment, I kept thinking about what I was supposed to say. Should I say I’m back? Should I apologize? I had so many things I wanted to say, but now that the moment was here, I couldn’t think of a single word.
Still.
I guess I should just wing it, right?
“Master, the broadcast is ready.”
Right. Just do it like always!
Tap tap tap
The moment I touched the microphone, a huge sound echoed through the speakers. Now, if I spoke, my voice would ring out across the entire dormitory.
All right, here we go!
“Uh, ah, cough...”
What was I going to say again... Right, this is it!
“[♚♚Azur Lane☆♚♚sign-up$$everyone gets resources☜☜construction cubes 100% bonus※ ♜Azur Lane♜log in for just one week and get Prinz Eugen for free￥ special conditions §§collaboration event§§★Royal Navy★hidden skin chance@@ go here]”
Wait, that’s not it.
I shouldn’t have watched a Heroes of the Storm stream the night before discharge. Damn it.
====
In the quiet morning, a voice rang out through the dorms where the shipgirls were still sleeping. And it was loud. The shipgirls who woke up figured some crazy woman in the broadcast room must have turned it on because she wanted to hear the Commander’s voice. They thought that when roll call came later, they’d have to identify and punish this insane woman. How dare she let the voice of God be carried over the broadcast! Blasphemy! Half-asleep, the shipgirls soon drifted back into sleep. If they dreamed, the Commander would appear and take care of them, and if things went even further, they might even get into 19+ situations.
But one person, and only one person, the moment she heard that voice, burst out of her room in her pajamas and started running toward the broadcast room.
“Huff, huff... Commander... Commander... Commander...!”
As she ran, her long silver twin tails fluttered richly behind her, along with her yellow eyes and her voluptuous body covered by white sleepwear. She should have looked pure and innocent, but because of her aura, she instead seemed decadent and sinful. That was how beautifully she ran.
It was Prinz Eugen.
Eugen knew that voice. She was one of the Commander’s earliest members, so of course she knew his voice. She had even dreamed of playing with the Commander yesterday. When she first heard the voice, she had been on edge too, wondering which crazy woman would pull such a cruel prank. Even she, who liked pranks, would never do something like that. She had seen a few shipgirls go down in flames after trying to imitate the Commander. But... but...
That voice had called her name. “Prinz Eugen.” One of the Commander’s early ships had been called by the Commander’s own voice. Of course she remembered. That was exactly what the Commander’s voice sounded like.
Once she realized that, Eugen kicked off from her bed, opened the door at once, and ran toward the broadcast room, believing with absolute certainty that the Commander was there. She ran and ran until she finally reached the door.
The Commander had to be in here. With that fanatical faith, she tried to create the kind of alluring, wicked atmosphere that suited a girl her age. Eugen made up her mind and opened the door.
Creeeeak
And Eugen was rewarded for her faith.
There, she saw the Commander she loved most of all.
“Aaaah... Comman... der? It is the Commander, isn’t it...?”
Even though she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, she took one step after another toward him. Before long, she was close enough to see his face clearly. And the Commander’s face she saw was exactly the same as when they first met. That mischievous expression and tone. That playful atmosphere, just like her own. He was exactly as she always remembered him.
As she drew closer, someone stepped in her way. It was Belfast, the self-proclaimed first maid of her master, and Enterprise, his first oath. Seeing those two, a dark feeling rose up inside her. Jealousy. How dare they... how dare they...! Block me from approaching my Commander...?! Unforgivable...! I’ll kill you!
But the Commander’s sweet voice pushed those two bitches away.
“Calm down, Bell, Ent. I’ll handle this.”
The two women fell back with reluctant expressions. She would deal with those two later somehow. But right now, this was the most important thing. The Commander stood up from his seat and faced her.
Aaaah... yes... this is him... My beloved. I still can’t believe you’re standing right in front of me. If this is an unbroken dream, please don’t go away.
The Commander raised a hand and greeted her.
“Yo, long time no see, Eugen!”
“Kuhuhu... You really haven’t changed. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you made me run all the way here and get my body all heated up, so you’d better pay the price, hmm?”
“Oh? Is that so? Then... here.”
The Commander spread his arms and shouted. She thought that was just like him, but her heart was already overflowing with joy.
“Come on! Jump in, Eugen!”
Filled with joy and rapture, she threw herself into the Commander’s arms. The Commander’s embrace, which she had thought she might never feel again. She was so happy to be held by him once more. The feeling of ascending to heaven, the pleasure she had sought in her nightly self-indulgence while longing for the Commander, couldn’t even compare. The scent coming from the Commander reached her as the greatest bliss of all.
“Commander... Commander...!”
Aaaah, of course it’s the Commander. No matter how much you joke around, this prank can’t hide how I feel. I love you this much. I hope this love reaches you too. Of course, maybe you’ve already noticed? Still, I want to tell you, every second, every minute, before the world ends.
“Ich liebe dich sehr, Kommandant.”
You are my sun, my sea, the meaning of my existence. With you, I can do anything. Luck? I’ll give it all to you.
I love only you, and I’ll offer you my madness. I swear it again here.
The first oath was Enterprise, that Union bitch, who got there first...
But next is me... right?
Belfast, if you so much as try to interfere with this, I’ll tear you apart and throw you to the Sirens’ dogs. You are not the Commander’s second.
It’s me, Prinz Eugen, isn’t it?
Right?
Commander... ♥
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