I ended up with a wife I never expected.
And that wife is Enterprise. Heh heh heh.
====
When I first started playing Azur Lane, the very first ship I pulled from construction was Enterprise—long silver-gray hair, glowing blue eyes, a black naval officer’s coat, and an absolutely ridiculous body. She wore a white sleeveless shirt that hugged every curve, with black straps and a tie that drew the eye straight to her chest, paired with a black skirt and long, slender legs.
She was the number one broken unit in the game: the legendary Enterprise.
I remember thinking, Oh hell yeah, and asking a friend about her, only to find out she was insanely powerful and could smash through any obstacle. Naturally, I bowed to her strength and invested everything. By the time I stopped playing, I had cleared up to Chapter 11, and the fact that she was still my go-to frontline ace said everything.
Of course, she was also my very first oath. I slipped the first oath ring I’d ever earned from an event onto Enterprise’s finger, and then came her line.
“I have run through countless battlefields and experienced countless partings; what I carry on my shoulders is an endless number of hopes and wills. Are you prepared to shoulder them all with me, Commander? ...I see. Then let us walk together until the end of our lives!”
Man, that hit me right in the feels. And the fact that my favorite voice actress was the one delivering the line? It was practically a heart attack. But I was so broke that Enterprise was the only one I could ever afford to oath. I was so out of the loop that I only found out her oath skin had been released on the very day I was discharged from the military.
Because I had pushed the other ships so hard, their affection had all hit 100 and plateaued. Even if I wanted to oath the others, I simply didn't have the resources to buy more rings. Yep, I was a poor Commander. Meanwhile, my friend had oathed almost everyone. What a genius of Azur Lane optimization, huh?
Anyway, Enterprise was my one and only partner. I admit I was heavily biased. I gave her all the gold gear, leveled her to 120, maxed her enhancements, and fully trained her skills. The others were still a ways off... Still, that was the Enterprise I knew.
But... but...!
This was not okay!
“Heh heh heh. Commander, would you like another cookie? I made these after training under Vestal. Vestal herself approved them, so I can confidently say they're delicious, heh heh heh...”
Her hair was a mess, and she was offering tea and snacks to a teddy bear that was serving as my substitute. I mean, come on. At least offer them to me! Though... was I the one going crazy, or did she somehow have this decadent, alluring vibe? Still, Enterprise was beautiful.
Case closed.
Still, I had to do something about this situation. I turned to Belfast, who was standing beside me, and asked how I was supposed to fix this. Her answer was a little masterpiece.
“The way for Master to cure Enterprise would be to pounce on her and claim her first time. Of course, after that, you may devour me as well. If Master wishes it, I can prepare to ‘serve’ you at once. Heh heh heh...”
Ah, so this is what it means to have ships so crazed with love that they'll protect humanity from the Sirens! Humanity's future is terrifying!
For some reason, I felt like if I told them to abandon humanity, they’d smile and do it. No, not just felt like it—they probably would. That’s how far gone they were. But who was I? I was Kwon Yeon-woo, the optimist who scored an eleven out of ten!
First...
I’d have to use shock therapy on my so-called wife!
=======
“Now then, Commander! Is the tea and the cookies I made delicious? It’s a skill Vestal said she had nothing more to teach me, you know? Of course, you may eat as much as you like.”
“Heh heh heh, Commander, you’re so sloppy. You’ve got crumbs all over your mouth. You’re just like a child, Commander.”
“Oh? A guest? Why don’t you sit down and have a bite as well? This probably won’t be enough, so I’ll bring more. Please wait a moment.”
......
“Here~ I brought more. Here...”
“Ah...? Ahhh...?”
“Com... man... der....? Why are you torn apart? Your blood, your body, your arms, your legs... why are they scattered everywhere...?”
“Aaaah.... Aaaahhhhh!”
“Who... who did this to my husband...!”
“It was you...? It was you, wasn’t it...? I treated you well because you said you were my husband’s guest, and yet you committed such a monstrous crime...!”
“Wait just a little longer... I’ll beat this bastard to death and then I'll follow you.”
“How dare you... how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you, how dare you!”
“You did this to my precious husband...! You killed him...!”
“I’ll never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you, never forgive you!”
“Someone like you should rot in the deepest pits of hell.”
“I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you, I’ll curse you!”
“I won’t forgive you...!”
“I’ll kill you.”
“Die right now.”
====
A man and a woman faced off inside a room.
The man was unarmed, but the woman aimed a compound bow, nearly as large as she was, directly at him. She radiated such overwhelming murderous intent that it felt as if she wanted to erase him from existence on the spot. That killing intent saturated every inch of the room.
The maid standing behind the man tried to step in to protect him, but he stopped her. It seemed he wanted to handle this himself. Slowly, the man began to approach the woman.
“Don’t come any closer...! Enemy of my husband! I’ll kill you...! Die... just die!”
The woman drew her bowstring and fired. However, her body was in a severely weakened state. Ever since the Commander had disappeared and she began escaping into her own delusions, she had shut her heart away, refusing to eat or drink until she started treating a teddy bear as the Commander. She was a shipgirl, yes, but she was practically running on empty. Naturally, the arrow she shot—
Whoosh—thwack!
—flew past the man’s side. It barely grazed his face, but it was close. Even in her weakened state, she was still a shipgirl, a being far beyond the capabilities of an ordinary human.
She nocked another arrow and fired again. This time, she aimed to hit.
Whoosh—thud!
It didn't strike the head as she had hoped, but it pierced the man's leg, slowing him down. Now, she was out of arrows. It didn't matter. She would beat the enemy to death with the bow itself. Gathering the last of her strength, she screamed and charged at him.
“Aaaaaaah!”
But she was stopped. Caught by the enemy’s arm. She could no longer swing the bow. If only I had replenished my energy a little more, she thought. Then, she braced herself for the end. She prepared for whatever the enemy would do to her—whether he would take advantage of her weakness or simply kill her. Even so, she would resist with everything she had for her husband. If possible, she would even seek a double suicide. That was the greatest love she could offer him.
She glared at the enemy with wide, trembling eyes. She braced for pain, but what came instead was—
Poof
A hug. And warmth.
“Let go of me! How dare you touch me! Don’t defile me any further! I can’t meet my husband in a body that’s been dirtied like this! If you’re going to kill me, then just do it already!”
Just as she twisted her body in resistance, the enemy’s voice reached her ears.
“Ah... shit... that hurts like hell...! Ugh, ngh...!”
“Eh...? Th... this voice...?”
The woman knew this voice. It was the voice of the husband she loved. The voice of the Commander she thought she would never hear again—the voice that had vanished, the voice she believed was gone forever.
She wondered if she was finally dying and seeing hallucinations. Still, it was a happy moment. The Commander—alive, warm, and tangible—was right in front of her. To savor this fleeting moment, Enterprise embraced the illusion.
But... what she felt was
“Aah... I can hold you...? I can feel you...?”
Real.
She could actually embrace the illusion.
She suddenly lifted her face and looked at him. And there he was.
She saw the Commander’s face, and she felt his cheek cupped in her hand. It was the same face she had seen when they first met—her precious Commander. Her freedom, her sky, her love, and her husband. The unbelievable reality wrapped itself around her.
“Ah.... ahhh.... ahhhhh....”
The woman wept. The thing she had dismissed as a dream had become reality. How much time had she spent in despair just to feel this? How long had she lived hating her own body for not letting her die, cursing everything in this world?
But now, all of that was transforming into love. Every sensation was becoming love. Everything felt precious. Because he existed, because he was here holding her, because she could feel him completely—she was finally able to exist again.
The Commander spoke.
“Enterprise, I’m home.”
Tears spilled even harder from her beautiful, jewel-like blue eyes. Tears that should have dried up long ago, tears she thought would never fall again. These were, without a doubt, tears of joy.
“Commander.... Commander.... Commanndeerrrr....!”
She hugged him tightly, as if terrified he might vanish again. She poured everything she had into that embrace, holding him with all her strength. It was a fierce, desperate embrace—the kind a wife gives her husband returning from the battlefield.
The proof of her existence had finally returned to reality.
============
That arrow hurts like hell. I need to pull it out, but how the hell am I supposed to do that while being squeezed to death?
While hugging the sobbing, wailing Enterprise, I thought to myself. Belfast, please don’t start crying tears of emotion too—help me out here. This arrow. Hurts. So. Damn. Much.
“Huuuuuu...”
I let out a long sigh. I was exhausted. It was only the start of the day, but it already felt absurdly long.
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