'Let's disband.'
Let's just push a little harder.
'We're in our thirties now. Our classmates have stable jobs and are raising wives and kids!'
Even so.
We can still try a little more.
'How long are you going to keep doing this?'
How long...?
Until I pull off the thing I thought would be fun.
'Partner.'
I.
I....
-Throb
My head hurts.
I'm sad. It hurts. It's agonizing. Uweeeeh.
And yet I wanted to smile. Big grin. An angelic smile brightens your everyday life.
Hahahahaha.
......
But me,
why was I doing comedy again?
-Why, you ask.
Yeah.
I was originally a serious kid who wasn't good at getting along with other people.
Of course everyone hated me.
Lonely,
and wanting to change that version of myself, I tried going all out with physical comedy,
and they laughed.
-Live every day doing your best and smiling.
I was happy they recognized that I wasn't some bad guy.
I wasn't lonely.
Little by little, I made more friends, and I stopped hating myself so much too.
I was a funny guy.
Everyone recognized me, laughed because of me, and I wasn't a bad guy.
But then...
-A duo act was impossible.
That was the limit of my talent.
Ugh! You cowardly piece of trash!
Chasing only empty dreams, and now I'm some middle-aged old man in my mid-thirties!
Takaba Fumihiko is an idiot~ A fool who keeps acting up without even knowing he's not funny~
Waaah, that's not true.
I'm funny. I'm a funny guy.
Look, even the audience over there can't stop laughing. They all came to see me.
My popularity drove people insane.
-Pa
rt
ne
r.
Jealous.
I'm insanely jealous of that comedy duo laughing on TV over there.
Are you funny? Are you happy? I bet you are.
Do you trust yourselves? Can you keep thinking you're funny for a thousand, ten thousand years, until the day you retire?
-I don't dislike your comedy.
I wish I had a friend like that too.
If I had a partner who looked at me, I wouldn't be lonely.
-Want to come with me?
I want you to understand me more.
If you understood me more, you'd find me even funnier.
Then I wouldn't be lonely anymore.
-Sorry. I didn't want to do this to you, of all people.
Then why did you betray me? You evil bastard!
You understood me. You told me I was funny!
Was it all a lie? Huh? Tell me...
It's okay. If I can stand on stage with you. I don't want this to end like this.
No! It's not okay. You're the biggest piece of trash in the world. Rot for another thousand years, you damned old fossil!
No. You bastard. Why. It hurts. Why. I'm sorry. Let's laugh.
forthosepeoplelaughingovertherethestagewillneverend
.
.
.
.
.
Now, there was a little commotion~
I am Takaba Fumihiko! I'm 35 years old.
Occupation?
Co
me
di
an
No.
[Jo
ker
]!
"Huh?"
"A comedy battle...?"
At Junpei's brazen declaration, Takaba and Kenjaku snorted.
"I've spent a thousand years watching every funny piece of content out there."
"Don't brag about being an old fossil..."
"Takaba's stage experience is overwhelming too. Think you can beat us?"
Realistically, there was no way Junpei and Nobara could beat Takaba and Kenjaku at comedy.
Not only was there a difference in experience, but their chemistry, timing, and improvisational ability made their synergy overwhelming.
This wasn't a level that a pair of rookies thrown together at the last minute could win.
"What, you scared? You fucking cowards. Go suck my dick."
"Junpei!"
Instead of backing down, Junpei kept provoking them with a vulgar attitude, and Nobara grabbed him.
As she looked up at Junpei, her eyes were full of worry.
"Hey, what are you planning?"
"You told me to match your pace earlier, right?"
"Uh, yeah..."
"I have an idea."
It sounded crazy, but everything Junpei was doing was the result of careful calculation.
The clear condition for the [palace] was to bring down its owner, Takaba.
But in his opinion, that wasn't something that could be achieved through simple physical impact alone.
'As long as Takaba's will doesn't break, this space won't end.'
That was why he chose a comedy battle.
The key to the plan was to strike at the core of Takaba's 'desire.'
He hadn't even considered any other method.
"So, are you going to accept it?"
"Hey, partner. What do you think?"
"......"
After a brief silence, Takaba, or rather Sorrow, nodded.
"Fine... I'll take it."
"...!"
Just as expected.
"Who's going first?"
"We'll go first..."
"Hey, partner."
"It's okay.... Let's show them."
Rather, it was Kenjaku who looked flustered, while Takaba seemed to be taking this seriously.
With a sharp snap of his fingers, the stage's layout changed.
"This is..."
"You know C-1, right? That famous Japanese comedy survival show..?"
Escaping the barrage of reckless memes and nonsense, they would go for something a little more refined and clean.
Let's compete with comedy that had proper "form."
Because that was what it meant to be a "pro."
"This feels a little awkward."
"Yeah... it does."
"Let's go."
Soon the curtain at the back of the stage was drawn back, and Takaba and Kenjaku, now in suits, walked out toward the microphone.
"Hello..."
"We're Pinchan. Remember us as Pinch and Chance."
Takaba & Kenjaku.
The survivors of the C-1 finals.
That stage begins now.
Takaba and Kenjaku, a.k.a. 'Pinchan,' had finished their act.
-Clap clap clap clap clap
Even the dolls that had been laughing so flatly gave them thunderous applause.
The judges seated in the place of honor with solemn expressions, the girl fans who had fallen for Kenjaku's face, and the ordinary fans who simply loved comedy.
All of them, as one, cheered for their collaboration.
It was certainly an amazing stage.
They perfectly understood the roles of 'tsukkomi' and 'boke,' and even the flow of their lines was clean and uncluttered.
Kenjaku, who kept firing off nonstop gags based on the famous Momotaro legend, and Takaba, who kept tossing out razor-sharp punchlines to keep him from going off the rails, were a perfect match.
Even a layman who knew nothing about comedy could tell that the natural vibe between them was something only a pair who had spent more than ten years together could produce.
"Hmm."
It would have been understandable to feel uneasy, but Junpei didn't lose his composure.
"Wow..."
"They're good."
"Aren't you nervous? How are we supposed to beat that...?"
Nobara was anxious, but that was actually a good sign.
It was proof that Takaba was taking this stage seriously.
The dolls, now a little more human, were showing it in their reactions.
"Let's go. It's our turn."
"Damn it, seriously. How did I end up..."
With a conflicted expression, Nobara covered her eyes.
She might be anxious now, but later she would think she was glad she came along.
Junpei gave a faint smile and led her arm toward the stage.
"....."
Once they stepped onto the stage, the dolls' cheering changed completely.
As if the laughter from a moment ago had been a lie, the dolls with expressionless faces fixed their sharp gazes on them.
Junpei swallowed hard and steadied his emotions inside.
'I can do this.'
This is the answer.
Even if I'm not good at it, I just have to do my best.
From the start, I never intended to win.
"Junpei..."
Nobara was still looking at him with worried eyes.
'Cute.'
From here on, her role was important too.
Junpei gave her a light smile to reassure her, then stole her lips in a sudden kiss.
-Smack
"..!"
Resonance of souls.
Now that she had broken the brainwashing on her own, she should be able to do it too.
"Ah."
Startled by the sudden kiss, Nobara's attitude gradually changed as she tried to push him away.
Starting with the trigger of "kissing," their souls intertwined, and their imaginations began feeding back into each other.
'So that's what it was?'
'Yeah.'
'Haha.'
No words were needed.
If you were someone you had entrusted your body and heart to, you could tell what the other person meant just by looking into their eyes.
As Nobara realized the essence of the technique, her eyes shone, and she immediately responded to the kiss with fervor.
-Smack, smack, chwaaah.
After greedily devouring each other's lips, Junpei and Nobara pulled apart and naturally began trading lines.
They were fully immersing themselves in the stage through the resonance of their souls.
"Guess what I ate yesterday."
"That's not something you ask a lady!"
"Natto."
"Are you actually stupid? Let's break up."
"If you break up with me and date another guy, you still won't be able to forget me. I took all of your firsts! In the end, you'll be unable to bear the loneliness and come back to me, and the man you chose will just spend his life earning money like an ATM before dying alone! You need to understand how scary washup theory is!"
"That's a story from another country!"
"International marriage is an option too, I guess. Would you become Nguyen Bojikkong to Yoshino Bojikkong?"
"Like hell I would!"
"Since we're already talking about other countries, let's go exotic. You know the Dangun legend, right?"
"I think I've heard of it....."
"I'll summarize it for you. A vegan god who loved animals way too much locked a tiger and a bear in a cave and made them gorge on garlic and mugwort. The tiger realized the ugly underside of the animal protection society and escaped early, but the foolish bear missed its chance to get out and ended up being forced to marry the god."
"What kind of legend is that?"
"It's closer to a eugenic theory that Koreans are the descendants of furry lovers, www."
"I understand even less now."
"If you don't understand, you'll have to try it yourself, right? From now on I'm the mother carrying rice cakes for the starving siblings. You be the tiger."
"Why did the story suddenly change?! Do it properly!"
"Oh dear... I'd better bring some delicious rice cakes for my son and daughter..."
"Grrr~! If you give me one rice cake, I won't eat you!"
"Instead of rice cakes... some wrinkly... old lady... and... another kind of rice cake...."
"Aren't you a fucking lunatic!"
"Hii, hiiik! These are rice cakes I got through government subsidies! If you take them all, what are we supposed to eat and live on!"
"Who said I wanted them all? I just want one!"
"Sigh... can the poor even live with this kind of misery? I should have voted for Candidate No. 1 for magistrate...."
"This won't do. Just hand them all over."
"Eek eek eek!!"
"And so the mother got eaten. Now it's time to go find the siblings."
"Mom should be coming soon. I'd better hurry up and jerk off, then clean up after myself."
"Why did the son suddenly become a teenage boy?! The worldbuilding is falling apart!"
"We already know everything there is to know! Hurry up and show me your hand!"
"Kids~ Mom's home~"
-Lick
"Why are you licking!"
"This taste is.... the taste of telling [lies]!"
"Forget it all! I'm just going to force my way in! You damn bratty little shits, I'll eat every last one of you!"
"Eek! I just jerked off and haven't washed my hands yet! Instead of someone as filthy as me, eat my still-soft little sister first!"
"What a piece of trash of an older brother."
"Little sister shield! Now's our chance to run!"
"So they've tossed the setting out the window too."
"Since we're up in the tree, the tiger can't chase us!"
"Damn it...! How did you get up there!"
"Are you stupid? Tigers are naturally good at climbing trees."
"Stop with the realism!"
"Aah! Now there's nowhere left to run! God! If you pity me, please lower a titanium alloy wire!"
"No, wait! There's no way God would save a trash brother who abandoned his little sister and ran away!"
"If the eldest son survives, the family can be rebuilt. It's the obvious logic of a feudal, male-dominated age."
"Damn it! I can't lose! God! Lower a lifeline for me too!"
"Is the tiger male or female?"
"...? Female, I guess."
"Luckily, God was a gender egalitarian and lowered a lifeline for the tiger too. Be grateful for that mercy."
"This isn't about gender! Besides, just a second ago you were talking about a male-dominated society and all that!"
"Aaagh! The tiger's coming! Father! Save me!"
"You can't run now!"
"Then suddenly a ninja burst in and killed the tiger."
"Why did it suddenly turn into a ninja massacre ending right when it was going well?"
"It's gotten boring by now. Let's just have everyone die."
.
.
.
.
.
.
The stage was over.
"Haa, haa..."
"Wow...."
Junpei and Nobara looked at each other with flushed faces.
'Pretty...'
'I think we did pretty well?'
-Waaaahhhhh!!!
Before they knew it, the audience was filled with cheers.
They were sincerely laughing, paying respect to the amazing stage the rookie couple had pulled off.
It felt like a ticklish sense of accomplishment was stirring somewhere in their hearts.
"How was it?"
"Our skill."
Takaba and Junpei's eyes met.
"....."
For some reason.
He looked like he was about to cry a little.
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