Since [Complete], I had never been outmatched in hand-to-hand combat.
Even aside from Naoya, that was especially true when it came to speed.
And yet, I hadn’t been able to react to the blow just now.
"My cursed energy output shot way up. And on top of that..."
That dropkick didn’t even look like a proper attack.
It had come at me with an almost guaranteed-hit feeling, like there was no way it wouldn’t land.
It wasn’t that the man had gotten absurdly faster. It felt more like some unknown force had been applied to keep me from reacting.
"Did we get him?"
As the man struck a ridiculous b-boying pose and muttered that, Kenjaku lunged at him.
"You bastard, don’t tell me you’re using a resurrection spell!"
"Huh? This is my fault?!"
They started bickering in the middle of the fight.
Whatever was going on, this was a chance.
Smack!
"Kyaaaagh~!"
As Maki rushed in and smashed him in the solar plexus, the man let out a shriek and flew back.
Even after landing a clean hit, Maki’s expression remained stiff.
"Something feels off when I hit him."
It felt like she was punching an illusion instead.
Her bad feeling wasn’t wrong, and the man, blood leaking from his mouth, got back up with ease.
"How cowardly, launching a sneak attack! That kind of attack won’t work on me!"
"You’re bleeding."
"No! That’s fake blood for makeup! Zero damage!"
He was bleeding, but it didn’t seem to affect him at all.
He hadn’t used a cursed technique reversal, and he hadn’t even bothered to defend.
Why? The more she thought about it, the more confused her head became.
"Ah, strawberry flavor."
Chomp chomp
As the man scraped up the blood at the corner of his mouth and ate it, real blood flew at him this time.
[Piercing Blood]
Choso, who had been waiting for an opening, fired [Piercing Blood] in a surprise attack.
Even that speed, beyond the speed of sound, was casually evaded by the man.
Even if it had hit, the result probably wouldn’t have changed much.
"[Slow.]"
"Damn it, what the hell is wrong with this guy!"
He was infuriating in the worst possible way.
And stronger than expected. So strong, in fact, that it made you wonder why someone like that had been hiding until now.
As Choso bit his lip, Yuta, who had been watching until then, stepped in to mediate.
"Um, you’re an awakened-type player, right?"
"Yep!"
"Why are you cooperating with Kenjaku?"
"That’s a secret between men♡"
"Don’t joke around. That man is a crazy terrorist who staged a death game against the entire world. What exactly did you see in him?"
"Huh, good question? Hold on...."
The man’s eyes clouded over as he thought.
"Why did I follow this guy again?"
Even when he tried to recall the original reason, it felt like fog had settled in his head.
Well, whatever.
It was fun being with him.
"Because he said my jokes were funny?"
"......"
"I’m serious, y’know."
In the silence that followed, only Kenjaku was laughing.
Yuta glared at him quietly, then remembered the time, before entering the Culling Game, when the jujutsushi of the Kamo clan had collectively suffered mental confusion.
"Hypnosis? Brainwashing? Not quite. It’s like he’s put a brake on his head."
The man’s liking for Kenjaku was probably genuine.
But he didn’t look like someone who would join in on a lunatic plan like this.
Maybe he had been given suggestions that severed his psychological brakes—his sense of ethics, his motives, all of it.
"I don’t want to fight you. If you back off here, we’ll quietly take Kenjaku and go home too."
"You think I’d fall for that? Hahaha, I know everything!"
"I’m serious. And what exactly am I supposed to be hiding...?"
"You’re after this guy’s body!"
That filthy gay joke made Yuta freeze up.
Kenjaku twisted his nonexistent arm and let out a girlish scream.
"Kyaaaah! Pervert! Molester! Somebody help me! I’m already married and I’ve even had a son!"
"Don’t worry, lady. For guys like that, getting them to cry once is all it takes to send them to prison."
"Ohtoke ohtoke! Don’t bring me some man-hating cop, bring me a female cop, unni!"
"Ah, that’s fine."
"Why?"
"I’m a feminist!"
Nothing made sense. No, honestly, she didn’t even want to keep talking anymore.
Just having a conversation felt like it was draining her energy straight out.
If she went along with that annoying gag, she might end up with a messed-up head too.
"...Do we really have to see blood?"
"Huh? I don’t want to see it."
"What’s that supposed to mean?"
"I, Takaba Fumihiko, am a comedian."
With a snap, Takaba struck a pose and swept his gaze over Maki, Choso, and Yuta in turn, then grinned.
"I’m not going to steal laughter from other people!"
"Are you serious?"
"Don’t worry. If you laugh hard enough, everything will be over before you know it. I’ll play around a bit, then hit you hard."
"......"
"Watch closely! And go tell everyone about it! My trump card gag!"
As Takaba shouted with solemn intensity, Yuta, already irritated to the limit, grabbed his own head without realizing it and snapped back.
"Could you maybe stop already? Your jokes aren’t funny."
"Whaaat~? You little..."
Not funny.
That must have hit a nerve, because Takaba’s face twisted into something monstrous.
It looked like the face of a bald karate instructor who ruled some community somewhere in Tokyo.
"So that’s how it is! Then I’ll show you!"
The space rippled at the tips of Takaba’s fingers as he struck a bizarre pose.
"Listen up, you punks. This is [LESSON 5]...!"
Before they knew it, they had fallen into a reality where everything was a chaotic mess.
Into an alien space where the scenery around them kept changing and frantic laughter rang out.
"A [Domain Expansion]...?"
Impossible.
He hadn’t formed a hand sign, and he hadn’t chanted.
Then this meant it was a space created purely by Takaba’s technique.
"Welcome to my comedy society."
Was something like this even possible?
To interfere with space using only a technique?
And by an awakened-type player who had only just awakened his technique?
"What the hell...!"
"Surprised? How delightfully absurd."
It was a jackpot.
One on a completely different level from the rankers.
"I, former Tokyo mayor Takaba Fumihiko, will teach you all about comedy."
He wasn’t just on Higuruma’s level.
What kind of monster were they fighting, exactly?
"Rika!"
Yuta quickly called Rika out.
This was an opponent they could never afford to let their guard down against.
He might not die, but in terms of raw strength alone, he could overwhelm even Kenjaku.
"I can’t fully manifest, but if I can figure out the weak point in the middle of his technique...!"
Then it happened.
"Look out---!!"
An 8-ton truck came barreling toward Rika from nowhere.
Takaba Fumihiko’s technique, [Superman], turns whatever Takaba thinks is funny into reality.
It ignores all physical laws and causality, and exerts absolute force over every phenomenon.
He himself is an awakened-type, and because of his "binding" he doesn’t even understand his own technique very well, but if used properly, it’s a terrifying technique that could even go up against Gojo Satoru or Sukuna.
That was why Takaba Fumihiko could not kill people.
Unless you were some psychopath who found human death funny, there was no way killing someone with imagination would be easy.
Even though Kenjaku’s suggestion had led him to follow him, the good foundation at the core of his technique had not changed.
Within the space created by his technique, which he ran as a "simulation," no matter what attack they received, the opponent would not be brought to death.
However, curses and shikigami were a different matter.
"(You) look out---!!"
You can’t apply the ethics of the human world to inhuman beings.
Takaba Fumihiko could not kill "humans," but that did not make him some weakling who couldn’t smash an unknown enemy charging at him.
"Rika...!"
Forget full manifestation—if that thing hit her, she’d be smashed to pieces on the spot.
His body moved before his mind did, and Yuta threw himself forward to shove Rika aside.
KWAANG!
Yuta collided with the truck, flew up into the air, rolled a long way, and finally came to a stop.
Rika flew toward him, grabbed Yuta’s cold body, and wailed like a scene from a drama.
[Yuta--!!]
For the record, he wasn’t dead.
He’d taken damage, but he could still hold on for now.
It was just that if he got hit like that a few more times, he really would be done for.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Hey, what are you doing speeding like that in a school zone!"
Maki, who looked like some random auntie passing by, no—Maki, startled, scolded Takaba after he got out of the driver’s seat.
When Maki met the eyes of Yuta, who was lying there, she suddenly realized what she was doing.
"What the hell? Why am I doing this?"
She had been going along far too naturally with this ridiculous roleplay.
It had to be the man in front of her.
Forcing people’s behavior like that—what a terrifying ability.
"Oh dear, my apologies."
"You should be apologizing to that kid, not me!"
"What can I do? He’s already dead, and the living need to stay alive. How about we settle this by making an ‘Okkotsu Law’ or something?"
Bam!
Unable to hold back, she threw a punch, and Takaba collapsed with a dramatic "Kyaaaagh!"
Rolling over to Yuta’s side, Takaba’s eyes flew wide open.
"W-wait a second...!"
"What?"
"That isn’t Okkotsu!"
That was right. The one who’d been hit by the car wasn’t Yuta.
With fluffy fur and dark circles covering its eyes.
Yuta’s corpse was nowhere to be seen, and instead there was a panda there!
"This is... not Fubao, no, it’s ‘Ohtbao’!"
"O-Ohtbao?"
"Nooooo!!!!!"
The people who had been passing by indifferently until Yuta got hit—people Takaba had created through imagination—suddenly burst into tears and crowded around Yuta, no, Ohtbao.
As they shook and hugged the suddenly panda-fied Yuta’s body from every angle and started wailing and making a complete mess of things, he no longer had any idea what was going on.
"Hwaaaah!! Ohtbao, don’t go!!!!"
"Ohtbao, be happy even when you get to Panda Planet!! Huuuuung!!"
"We’ll remember you....sob sob sob."
"I’m not dead yet, you know?!"
As Ohtbao made a cute little fuss and waved his front paws, the tears stopped.
The people who had been squeezing out tears like they were about to drown all of Japan in sorrow suddenly stood up together and started dancing and doing somersaults.
"Woooaaah!! Ohtbao’s alive!"
"Hurray, hurray~"
"Uwahaha, fanfare~"
Among them, a hand reached out and grabbed Ohtbao.
Before he had time to resist, Yuta was dragged away, and his vision flipped. Before he knew it, he was standing in the middle of a parade ground in military uniform.
"Welcome to the Culling Fortress, recruit!"
Takaba, wearing a red cap and red underwear, greeted him from the podium.
On top of the hideous building that looked like it reeked of absolute filth just from seeing it, a red Odo-bongo had been placed, and in front of it Choso hung there like a blood bag, his eyes flashing.
Following the guidance of Choso, who had joined his hands together and extended them, the bead of blood moved and exploded right in front of Takaba’s face.
[Supernova]
Boom!
Incredibly, Takaba stood there calmly even after taking the blood shotgun blast head-on.
He had treated every threat directed at him as a "simulation," so he took no damage at all.
Ignoring Choso, who was clutching his head at the absurd sight, Takaba licked the blood off his face with a cute little tongue flick.
"Mm... this is!"
"No, what the... how is this even..."
"Tasty marine blood pudding! Thanks for the meal, blood-fountain marine!"
"Where did Maki go?!"
"No female with a disgraceful gender may set foot here!"
Ra-ra-ra-cha-cha-cha!
Takaba, striding down the street with a magnificently spirited gait, pulled a full combat pack weighing a total of 20 kilograms out of his underpants and strapped it onto Ohtbao’s back.
"Marine Ohtbao, the reason you were brought low by a charge from a filthy civilian was all because you lacked marine spirit! How could one not lament this filthiness? Today I shall make you into a true marine panda!"
"No! Don’t do it!"
"No...? Don’t do it...? Ah, I see! I know exactly what you mean!"
Unfortunately, Takaba’s marine-grade intelligence, which was nowhere near as sturdy as Kenjaku’s brain, failed to understand Ohtbao’s desperate refusal.
Forced onward, he began running laps under the blazing sun with the full combat pack on, driven by some unknown coercive force.
"Ra-ra-ra-cha-cha-cha!"
"Aaaagh!"
"Ah! Excellent cry! You little... spirited!"
With every step, it felt like all the cursed energy in his body was melting away.
Neither cursed energy reinforcement nor the body he had trained so desperately mattered in this hell.
By the time the march was over, not a trace of cursed energy remained in Ohtbao’s body.
"Uuugh...."
The moment Ohtbao collapsed from exhaustion, someone kicked open the Culling Fortress’s front gate and charged in like a tiger.
Maki, whose whereabouts had been a mystery, stood there in a suit.
As Takaba looked at her with a puzzled expression, Maki held out a warrant.
"Takaba Fumihiko. You are under arrest for involuntary manslaughter."
"Thaaang!"
The bizarre sound of Takaba being hauled away vanished beyond the door, and the scenery flipped again.
Before long, Yuta, Choso, and Maki were all in a courtroom.
"Order!"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
As they looked up at the judge’s voice and hammer, a familiar face came into view.
The person standing on the highest bench, wearing a judge’s robe, was....
"Kenjaku!"
"Who dares call the judge by name! I sentence you for contempt of court! Take them away!"
"H-hey! I’m a witness!"
Before he could even protest, Choso was dragged out on Kenjaku’s orders.
"What the hell is this?"
Yuta felt like he was going insane.
What was going on? Why was Kenjaku up there, and why was this virtual reality changing according to his orders?
What was that change that had just happened to my body, and where the hell did Rika go?
And why was everyone acting and moving like characters in a roleplay?
"What the fuck is this!!!!"
For the first time in a while, harsh words burst from Yuta’s mouth.
Order! Order! Kenjaku’s nonsense didn’t even register in his eyes.
The defining trait of [Superman] was that when the opponent was drawn into the technique, it also responded to the opponent’s imagination.
When the user laid down the basic framework, the opponent’s brain fed back in response, and that was reflected as a simulation. In other words, if you acted according to the situation inside it, you could imitate the same kind of power Takaba had.
Though all that really meant was that Takaba took no damage at all, while the opponent was the only one who got knocked out.
Yuta, Maki, and Choso had all roughly figured that out already.
But what could they do? Takaba was invincible in here anyway.
What could we possibly do, you worthless special-grade lackeys?
"Yeah, right?"
As Yuta’s overloaded brain spun furiously, it reached a conclusion.
"Fuck it, I don’t know either."
Just let your body take over!
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