"The second phase is cooking!"
The second phase was nothing special.
After making us run a hundred-kilometer marathon in the first phase, I wondered what kind of bullshit they would pull next, but they gave us something ridiculously normal.
Which was only right.
You are not supposed to make beginners do difficult stuff on the beginner course.
Here, this is a click.
And this is called a keyboard.
That was the proper difficulty level, but because of one goddamn clown, I had started thinking hardcore was the norm.
Fucking bastard.
For the record, Hisoka showed up at the second examination site looking perfectly fine.
He had even made himself new ears with Texture Surprise.
Well, I had not expected much. He was not the kind of guy who would die from a bomb worth a mere million Jenny.
Still, I spent at least several hundred coins' worth of a million Jenny. The least he could do was look like it hurt.
What a fucking waste of money...
The second phase had two examiners, each of whom assigned one task.
The pig demanded cannibalism of his own kind by telling us to bring him whole roast pig, while the big-breasted woman with star-shaped hair told us to make sushi.
Fucking peaceful.
We just had to cook individually, right?
I hope every test from here on out is like this.
.
.
.
"There are zero passers in the second phase!"
Fuck this.
**
The pig-on-pig cannibalism test had not been a problem.
The bastard said everything tasted good, so it had basically been a first-come, first-served test.
If the pig's stomach had allowed it, everyone here probably would have passed.
The problem was the sushi.
To begin with, there were only about two people who even knew what sushi was.
A bald ninja who looked like he would be great at shouting, "Ryu Seung-ryong, gimochi!"
And me.
Kurapika seemed to have heard of sushi before, but apparently that was all he had done—hear of it.
Fuck, how are you supposed to make it by clumping rice together without even slicing the fish into sashimi?
What are you, British?
The shocking part was that every single one of them looked like that until the ninja bastard and I submitted our dishes.
You goddamn bastards who have turned your backs on homemaking.
Every last one of you could roast a whole pig beautifully, yet you were all hopeless at this.
Me?
I made it properly.
At first, I tasted the seasoning because I was worried it might be a different dish with the same name, but after seeing the ninja Hanzo make his, I knew it was that sushi after all.
Then it was simple.
Catch some fish, slice it neatly into sashimi, add vinegar to the rice, and lay the fish on top. Since she said hand-pressed sushi, I gave it one firm squeeze in my hand like a Japanese craftsman, pressing it all together.
You had to be careful about the amount of rice you held in your hand at that point.
Too much would ruin the fish's texture, while too little would be no different from eating ordinary sashimi.
Thankfully, thanks to some chaebol chairman from somewhere, I could grab the proper amount in one go.
Dojun, how many grains of rice are there?
Three hundred and twenty, Chairman.
Hm. I acknowledge you. You truly are my grandson.
Cheers to my brain for remembering even the number of rice grains after ten years.
But could you remember the original story instead, if possible? I did not even know there was going to be a cooking test.
'Fuck off.'
Ha ha. What brain cells that treat their master like a stone.
You stabbed me in the back during the college entrance exam ten years ago too. You really have not changed.
I want to rip you out right now, but then I would be fucked, so I will refrain.
"Failed!"
"Pardon?"
What did you say?
Unable to believe the result, I checked the dish I had submitted again.
The fish? Fresh.
The vinegar? I used the kind the examiner had prepared.
The number of rice grains? Chairman style.
"What is the problem?"
I had made it fucking perfectly. The shape was lovely, and the color looked appetizing.
"The rice reeks of metal. Did you not wash your hands? Failed!"
Ah.
**
I apologized to the examiner, Menchi, then went back and washed my hands first.
I would fucking hate it too if a chef made me sushi with fingers he had picked his nose with.
I felt really damn sorry.
I had even braced myself for a beating, but perhaps because she knew I had not done it on purpose, the examiner let it go fairly gently.
Meanwhile, Hisoka was watching and laughing with hearts floating around him.
Do not laugh, you piece of shit.
This is because of you.
If it were not for you, would I have ever had to handle money until my hands smelled like filthy cash?
You failed because you were shit at cooking too.
"What did you say?! It is a simple dish! You just shape the rice into a bite-sized rectangle, then put wasabi and sliced fish on top! It will not taste all that different no matter who makes it!!"
This fucking bald Hanzo.
Why would you go and say that?
If you leak the test recipe, she is going to raise the grading standard.
"Simple...? It will not taste all that different...?"
Crazy bastard.
He just told a Michelin inspector, "Oh, you can go to any other restaurant and get the same thing. That is just what this food is like."
Hanzo had to listen to Menchi tear into him for quite a while after that.
Poor bastard.
Do not ever run your own business.
You would get review-bombed and go under within three months.
After that, things went exactly as expected.
With her mood soured, Menchi found fault with every piece of sushi she put in her mouth, and none of us could satisfy the palate of a woman used to eating at three-star Michelin restaurants.
And so, there were zero passers in the second phase.
Not zero as in "zero applicants wanted." Zero as in nobody passed.
This was fucking unexpected. Did the original go like this too?
The Hunter Exam I remembered had some kind of tournament.
There had even been interviews about whom they wanted to fight.
I also remembered it being around then that Illumi, disguised as Gittarackur, pulled out his needles and gifted Killua some mental illness.
But everybody failing in the second phase?
'What the fuck?'
I mean, I deserved to fail for cooking without washing my hands like an idiot... but should not the main cast be passing?
They are the protagonists, more or less. Is it really ending this pointlessly?
Or was there more that I could not remember?
"Even so, is it not a little harsh to have no passers?"
Ah, fuck, of course.
You scared me.
There was no way it would end like this.
Someone's voice came through a loudspeaker overhead. So there was more after all.
I was scared shitless that everyone had failed because of a butterfly effect caused by me not washing my hands.
"That airship bears the Hunter Association's emblem! Is it the review committee?!"
Thank you for the helpful explanation.
Thanks to people like you, I keep learning this world's common sense.
As though to confirm what that extra had said, someone dropped from the Hunter Association airship.
"Chairman Netero of the review committee... He is the Hunter Exam's highest authority."
His hair was tied up in a single topknot.
Loose traditional clothing and wooden clogs fluttered in the wind.
Deep wrinkles that showed his age, and a long white beard.
He had appeared.
'Whitebeard...!'
.
.
.
"...I am sorry. I get too serious whenever cooking comes up. I am unfit to be an examiner. I will resign, so please declare this examination void."
"Ahem. It seems the menu's difficulty was a little too high."
At the appearance of the world's strongest man, the era's eternal runner-up, Menchi immediately shriveled up.
As expected of an old man. His mere presence turned a professional Hunter into a high school girl being confessed to by a loser.
His aura was incredible in every respect.
The way nobody could so much as open their mouths when he appeared, and the fact that I could not feel any aura from him at all.
Hisoka was openly provoking him with Nen, yet he did not so much as twitch. That was fucking awesome.
At his peak, this old man was on Gon Meat Monster's level, or even beyond...!
Of course he was.
In a manga setting, it is common sense that children and old people are the strongest, right?
And I was neither.
Fuck.
Chairman Netero did not let Menchi resign. Instead, he had them hold a new test and made Menchi demonstrate it herself.
The test was to leap from a cliff and retrieve spider eagle eggs.
It was fucking high. Anyone with a fear of heights would not have been able to jump.
Of course, our protagonists and their friends did not give a shit about that and brought back eggs with ridiculous ease.
"That is insane... They jumped from here."
I thought so too.
They did not even know Nen. If they slammed their heads into the cliff, they would just die.
But I did jump.
Because Illumi was giving me an insane amount of side-eye.
If you are going to stay transformed into Gittarackur, could you not at least pretend to be a stranger all the way through?
Fucking bastard.
Killua had passed, so he was probably ordering me to stay in the exam and keep watch. He could not approach while disguised.
"Are the rest withdrawing? That is fine. Knowing when to quit is courage too. The exam is not held only this year."
Everyone else whose will to challenge had broken withdrew.
Like Netero said, there would be an exam next year too.
Well, Tonpa, the blue juice villain, was out anyway the moment he failed to jump.
All those who passed boarded the Hunter Association airship that Netero had arrived in.
Forty-three people remained.
For the record, the spider eagle eggs we retrieved were shared deliciously among the staff.
**
"Let me properly introduce myself to the remaining forty-three of you. I am Netero, the chief representative of this examination's review committee."
Wow! Netero! You know him!
He is seriously. Fucking. Strong.
Even if Hisoka and Illumi teamed up against him right now, one click of [100-Type Guanyin] would finish them in three seconds.
And Meruem beat the ever-living shit out of Netero.
The Hunter world is terrifying.
Master Togashi is terrifying.
I have not even done anything, yet death flags are lurking everywhere.
"Originally, I was only planning to appear for the final phase, but when I came to the site... I sensed an indescribable tension. Very nice. Since things have come to this, I shall accompany you to the end."
Netero apparently found watching newbies struggle cute, because he openly declared that he would voyeuristically watch us.
Is newbie-pounding really the only remaining content for veteran players?
That old man had earned the right.
"We are expected to arrive at the next destination at eight tomorrow morning. Until we contact you, please spend your time freely."
A tiny woman who appeared to be a Hunter Association employee spoke.
She was fucking adorable.
The Hunter Association must have a recruitment track for living plushies.
Gon and Killua went off to explore the airship, while everyone else either rested or fell asleep while preparing for an attack.
Leorio and Kurapika looked exhausted, but they could not rest.
Tonpa had warned them that they did not know what might happen while they slept. Then he gave them a sinister grin from behind.
Is this guy better than I thought?
What he said was true.
Someone could attack while they slept, or the next test could suddenly begin.
Was that not some fucking meaningful advice?
Come to think of it, the people who died in the Numere Wetlands might have lived if they had drunk Tonpa's diarrhea juice. They would never have made it that far.
Was this guy actually a Celestial Dragon?
Like Saint Charlos, traumatized by human hunting, had he grown sick of Hunter Exams where people died and been doing this all along?
For thirty-five whole years?
'Damn it, everyone, drink the diarrhea juice! You must not die! Cherish your lives!'
Sob... Lord Tonpa. And I never knew...!
Yeah, right.
He was just a warped bastard whose hobby was crushing newbies.
Kurapika and Leorio seemed to have passed anyway, so I would not worry about them.
More importantly, I needed to sleep.
I was fucking tired.
I had been constantly on edge because of a certain redheaded clown bastard.
I needed to get at least a little shut-eye.
**
"Hey, how many do you think will remain this year?"
Before the third phase began.
Inside the airship.
Menchi asked when the three examiners from the first and second phases gathered in an area accessible only to Hunter examiners.
"You mean passers?"
Buhara asked back. Although he had devoured seventy whole roast pigs at lunch, he was greedily tearing through dinner again.
"Yeah. I know I should not be the one saying this after failing everyone... but there were some who gave off pretty impressive aura, right? What do you think, Satotz?"
"Hmm, I wonder."
Satotz thought about it. Number 294, 300, 301, and 404. All of them possessed exceptional talent.
But the one who stood out most was surely...
"The newcomers are decent this year. Without question, I would choose Number 99—Killua."
"Ahh, that kid! He is way too self-centered. He is definitely type B! Let us see, I pick the ninja at 294 and Number 300! They both knew what sushi was. Though one of them was bald."
So baldness affected your opinion of them.
Satotz once again questioned Menchi's standards for choosing passers, but quietly let it slide.
"What about you, Buhara?"
"Well... not a newcomer, but... if I had to pick someone."
—It would be Number 44, after all.
Well, well.
I had deliberately avoided mentioning him.
The atmosphere in the room sharpened at Buhara's words. For just an instant, Menchi even released bloodlust.
As expected.
The other two had felt it too.
"It was uncontrolled bloodlust. He kept picking fights from the moment we appeared. Honestly, he is why I was so on edge during this exam."
"Eh, really?"
"Buhara is not particularly sensitive to detection. He did it to me too. He is the same kind of person as us."
The type who constantly seeks worthy opponents and enjoys life-or-death battles.
In a way, his aptitude as a Hunter might be the greatest among this year's applicants.
After all, Hunters are people who take on challenges.
"However, he belongs to a far darker side than we do."
A being who hits the accelerator when he should hit the brakes, beyond control and restraint.
A mutant whose own interests transcend ethics.
"He is dangerous."
**
.
.
.
When I woke up, I saw the second face in the world I least wanted to see.
"Hello♥"
Fuck, was I still dreaming?
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