Fortunately, Gon was alive.
It was not because Illumi had told them; Gon had come to the Zoldyck estate on his own with Leorio and Kurapika.
Right. He is the protagonist. He cannot just fucking die.
"Mr. Gotoh!"
He is waving at me like he is fucking thrilled to see me.
I can see you just fine.
But his face was swollen all over, like he had gotten the shit beaten out of him somewhere.
Why is this kid so banged up?
Did he not just push through the Testing Gate?
"Canary took action against them."
When I wondered about it, another butler standing beside me explained in a whisper.
I see. Well, this is a place no one is supposed to enter in the first place.
Since I am often away from the butlers' quarters, I occasionally miss little details like this.
With this family giving me shit day in and day out, there is no way I have time for my actual job.
So stop fucking calling for me.
You can just have somebody else mow the lawn.
Why do you specifically pick me for it?
Anyway, they do not give a fuck about seniority around here.
Of course, old man Zeno is the exception.
When I trot after him, he lets me eat food that is not poisoned. Though last time, I nearly got assassinated with poisoned yokan.
When Kikyo starts throwing a fit, he also occasionally calls me over and gets me out of there.
Though really, it is probably because he would be inconvenienced if no one waited on him.
Still, if I have to keep working as a butler, I would rather be old man Zeno's personal attendant.
"The mistress contacted us and instructed us to formally receive all of you as guests."
"We appreciate the consideration, but we came to see Killua. Mr. Gotoh, Killua is here, right?"
Leorio asked with solemn eyes. I hear this guy opened the second gate?
An eight-ton gate in less than a month.
Leorio, I thought you were at least a normal human being, but apparently not.
Before these guys started smashing property with their eight-ton fists, I quickly gave the protagonists the answer they wanted.
"This is the butlers' quarters, but Master Killua will be coming here shortly. Please make yourselves comfortable while you wait."
"Really?! That is great!"
The mood instantly relaxed.
These bastards had been planning to tear through the entire estate if things did not go their way.
Whether I could stop them or not, it pisses me off that they even considered it.
If you guys go running around, I will have to do twice the fucking work.
Do you not feel even a little sorry for me?
But if we get too close, I might get dragged into the Chimera Ant arc, so let us maintain this much distance.
While Gon's group chattered excitedly, I looked at Canary.
There was a hole in her head.
'That is not an injury from a fight.'
Canary hesitated, then finally answered when I continued staring at her.
'The mistress shot me with a gun.'
Kikyo again?
Fucking Kikyo is near the bottom of the family in terms of combat ability, yet she seems to beat people up more than anyone.
She is still an apprentice. How can you shoot her in the head?
'You have had it rough.'
Canary only gave a slight nod. Fuck, I feel bad for her. I should at least make sure she gets a bonus later.
More importantly, there is something I need to do right now.
"Everyone, if you are bored while waiting, would you care to pass the time with a game?"
"A game?"
I wanted to try this.
The only event in the original where Gotoh can have fun without raising a death flag.
I immediately took out a coin and flicked it into the air, clenching both hands into fists almost simultaneously.
You get the idea, right?
A simple coin-shell game.
"Would you like to guess which hand holds the coin?"
Gon's group apparently thought it sounded fun, because all three of them had smiles creeping onto their faces.
The three pointed at the same place.
"The left."
When I opened my hand, the coin was in my left hand, just as Gon's group had thought.
"Correct. Then I shall make it a little faster this time."
Once more. This time, a little faster.
I crossed my hands and palmed the coin.
"Now, which hand is it?"
"The left again!"
Correct again.
"Excellent."
When I opened my hand to show them where the coin was, the other butlers applauded.
Why the hell are you clapping?
If you were going to clap, you should have done it from the first round. That came out of nowhere.
"Then, this time, I shall show you a little skill."
This is going to be fucking fun.
Still, I would not crank up the difficulty to anything ridiculous.
I will keep it at a level they can follow with their eyes.
Ping—
I flicked the coin.
Then this time, I swung my hands fast enough to leave afterimages.
"What...!"
"Now, which hand is it?"
Is that a little too hard?
Still, they should be able to handle at least this much.
"Um, I am not sure, but maybe the r-right?"
No, you idiot.
Leorio, this bastard has done nothing but build muscle at the foot of the mountain.
He got it wrong so fucking fast.
"...Are you certain?"
He had gotten it wrong so quickly that I decided to give him one more chance.
"Aha! You are asking that because I got it right and you want me to change my choice, right? But I will not fall for such a cheap psychological trick, sir. I am sticking with the right!"
You idiot.
Seriously.
I stared blankly at Leorio, utterly dumbfounded.
How is this guy one of the main cast?
I mean, you do not have to determine the protagonist party solely by combat prowess... but this is a bit much, you bastard.
I am fucking showing him the coin gleaming between the fingers of my left fist even now.
Could you look at my hands instead of my expression?
Since I kept my fists tightly closed rather than opening them, Leorio became even more confident.
But perhaps Leorio's attitude grated on him, because one of the butlers behind me suddenly spoke up.
"...Mr. Gotoh has watched over Master Killua ever since Master Killua was born."
?
What is with this guy now?
Why is he suddenly talking to the kids?
"It may be presumptuous to say so before our guests, but Mr. Gotoh is practically Master Killua's godfather. Master Killua likely sees it that way as well. Yet you are trying to take Master Killua away from him."
Another butler behind me picked up where he left off.
What the fuck are these idiots talking about?
Why are they suddenly putting on a musical?
And godfather? Who is?
I do not fucking feel anything for Killua.
I only treat him like a child because he is a fucking little kid.
Try saying that in front of Killua. He would be fucking dumbfounded.
"You lot... do not say unnecessary things."
Gon's group flinched.
They are fucking tense now.
I just wanted to enjoy a coin game, unlike in the original.
How did I suddenly end up looking like I was threatening them?
Fuck.
"...Which hand is it?"
The atmosphere turned heavy.
This is awkward as hell.
I should put those bastards behind me through some ideological training later.
They were normally good at keeping their heads down and doing their jobs. Why are they being so weird today?
"The left."
Kurapika answered.
"Correct."
Right. Fuck. I had been giving it away this whole time.
Thank god you are not blind as a bat too, Kurapika.
If you had gotten that wrong, I would have seriously had to consider training you all.
"Please forget what our butlers said. It appears these fellows have misunderstood something."
"Mr. Gotoh...!"
Shut your mouths. Do you assholes want to act like that in front of guests?
The mistress told us to treat them well in the first place, so why are you making a fucking scene?
When I glared at each of them, they all fell silent.
Have these guys been at the Zoldyck estate so long that they think they are something special?
Every last one of us butlers, myself included, is fucking weak, you idiots.
Anyway, there is still some time before Killua gets here.
I should play a little more coin guessing.
"Shall we raise the difficulty a little more this time? To make it more exciting, how about no retries if you get it wrong?"
First, I need to get idiot Leorio out quickly.
That guy answered wrong so confidently that Gon was looking at him like maybe he was right.
"Does that include entering this estate?"
"So that is what he means...! Damn it."
"If all three of us are out, we will be kicked out!"
Kurapika asked a very sharp question.
Sharp only from the perspective of their own situation, though.
And then they eagerly ran with that bait among themselves.
No, I just said let us guess a fucking coin.
I am fucking good at this.
I have nowhere else to show off my skills, so is it really that offensive that I want to flex a rare skill while you are still newbies?
These fucking shitty junior butlers.
You ruined everything, you assholes.
Why do I have such shit luck with workplaces?
Usually, if your boss sucks, should not your juniors at least be dependable?
Fuck me.
I do not even care anymore.
Think whatever you want.
I am just going to toss coins. Fuck.
"I shall begin."
I moved my hands about five times faster than before. Most of it was misdirection anyway. If they focused on the final moment, they should be able to get it right.
"Ghk! I cannot see it!"
Of course you cannot see it, Leorio. Your fucking glasses are slid all the way down to the tip of your nose. What exactly are you trying to see, idiot?
"I-I choose the left!"
Okay. Wrong.
"The right."
"Me too."
The other two got it right.
"The answer is the right. For now, Mr. Leorio is out."
"Ghk~!"
You got it wrong last time too, so what are you disappointed about?
"Straight into the next round. Focus."
Ting—
Only two remained now, so they would naturally pick one side each. I raised the speed even further.
If I was going to show off, it had to be at least this fast.
But the protagonist party I wanted to show it to was fucking tense, watching with difficulty, while only the useless butlers were acting proud.
These fucking unhelpful bastards.
"Now. Which hand is it?"
As expected, the two had lost track of the coin and chose different hands.
The one who survived was Gon.
It should be about time for Killua to arrive.
"Now then, shall we have one final round?"
"Wait a moment, Mr. Gotoh."
"Hey, if you are only trying to stall for time..."
Shut up, idiot.
Before I seriously haul you before a disciplinary committee.
You want to spend some intimate quality time with Nanika?
Though that is a little too cruel. I should just dock your pay.
"Take as much time as you need."
Once I gave permission, Gon borrowed Leorio's knife and cut open his swollen eyelid, draining the blood.
Ugh, that must fucking hurt.
"Good. I can see clearly now! Go ahead, do it as much as you want."
"Understood. You two? Would you assist me?"
To seal the tongues of the butler bastards, I called over the two problem cases who had been speaking out earlier.
If I give them work, they will not run their mouths.
Ting—
I flicked the coin.
And then the coin—disappeared.
"!!!"
The two butlers and I even used aura as we shuffled the coin at top speed.
Well, top speed adjusted to the pace of the slowest one, but still.
It took less than three seconds, but we shuffled the coin over a hundred times, and the final coin ended up in my hand.
If I gave it to them, they looked like the type who would hide it and lie that he was wrong.
"Who do you think has the coin?"
Three people. Six fists. One coin.
Even in this situation, Gon grinned and pointed at one person.
"It is this person in the back, right?"
...
...
...
You fucking idiot, what am I supposed to do if you get it wrong?
What now?
Should I show him the coin and go, "Huh? No, it is not," in that SpongeBob voice?
But his expression is fucking world-class.
If I tell him he is wrong, that kid's whole world will come crashing down.
He will feel like someone who always beat his friend at fighting games, only to learn the friend had been going easy on him for ten straight years.
Ah, fuck it.
I do not know.
'Hey. I will give you the coin, so hold it in your hand.'
'Pardon? Why? We won.'
Won what? I have been saying we were just playing around. Does this look like a fucking competition to you?
'Just do it.'
Using aura in secret, I moved the coin in my hand into my sleeve, then flicked it hard downward.
'[Water Skipping].'
Unlike with Hisoka, I sent it gently toward the floor so the catcher would not get hurt, and true to a technique born from assassination skills, it slipped stealthily into the fellow's hand.
"Correct."
Only then did the butlers realize that I had wanted Gon to win, and they all applauded together.
Wow! Gon! You are the hero of the butlers' quarters!
What a bunch of fucking idiots.
Still, I should wrap things up so they would not feel awkward.
If the people above found out they disobeyed orders and acted up, these guys would be fucked.
"You lost track of time, did you not? Was our acting convincing?"
At my words, Leorio checked his watch and made a startled face.
"Whoa! It is already this late? Wow, Mr. Gotoh. That was some seriously thrilling acting!"
"I arranged it because I thought you might become bored sitting still. Please forgive us if it seemed rude."
"No, we had fun too."
Fortunately, judging by their reaction, they would not take it seriously.
"Gon!"
Killua arrived right on cue, and we saw off the three, who had now become four.
"Have a safe trip, young master."
.
.
.
"Everyone, drop and give me push-ups."
Today, you are getting ideological training.
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