Riiiiiiiiiiing—!
A fucking loud bell rang out.
If you’re in a public place, turn off your alarm. Basic manners, man.
"That concludes registration."
Oh, he was the examiner.
That guy should set an alarm, then. Okay.
"Now then, the Hunter Exam will begin. This way, please."
A middle-aged man with a perfectly center-parted hairstyle and a Pringles mustache began leading us through the dark underground passage.
As he walked, he muttered something about how we might get injured or die during the exam.
All events that occur during this examination are the sole responsibility of the applicants. Something like that.
He said anyone who was scared could bail now, but nobody left.
"Very good. All 404 candidates will be participating in the first phase."
"Naturally, not a single person’s turning back..."
A Hunter license sold for a hundred million Jenny, didn’t it?
Looking at this exam site, which was obviously full of nothing but non-regular workers, there was no way anyone would give that up.
"H-Hey. Wait a second."
"He’s speeding up!"
"Damn it! Run!"
As the examiner pulled ahead on his long legs, the flustered applicants began sprinting.
"My introduction was late. I am Satotz, the examiner in charge of the first phase. I will guide you to the second examination site."
"The second? Then what’s the first?"
"Following me to the second examination site. That is the first phase."
A basic stamina test, huh.
A fucking easy, newbie-friendly exam.
If you’re going to be panting after a little run, drop out now—that was the idea.
I focused my eyes a little and used Gyo to look, but the examiner wasn’t even using Nen.
Anyone who failed this was an idiot.
Is there no rule like, anyone dressed as a clown gets disqualified?
If there were, I’d take this exam fucking seriously.
**
After roughly six hours of running, people started dropping out.
Had we run around eighty kilometers?
I’d estimate about thirty people had failed.
Surprisingly, Tonpa, that third-rate villain, was keeping up so far.
So this wasn’t where the bastard got eliminated. Still, he wasn’t completely pathetic.
Stairs started appearing halfway through, and we climbed those for another hour.
Yet there were still over three hundred people left. I guess everyone’s knee cartilage was fresh.
On the stairs, Pringles showed off his long legs by taking three steps at a time.
Fuck. Was he bragging about being tall right now?
But I’m tall too.
I was about to climb three steps at a time as well, but then I spotted the clown nearby and slowed my pace.
He scared the shit out of me.
I needed to play it safe.
It was even scarier because I could see why that bastard was hanging back there.
Wasn’t he looking for someone whose throat he wanted to slit later?
He could have easily followed right behind the examiner if he wanted to.
Just in case, I loaded coins into my sleeves.
That lunatic might suddenly tell the original story to go fuck itself.
I was fucking tired.
Killua and Gon were running at the very front, almost side by side with the examiner. Since I was farther back, Killua hadn’t spotted me yet.
When should I talk to him?
Once there were fewer people, I’d loiter around and let him discover me then.
**
"...That is why this wetland is called a den of swindlers. Do not be deceived, and make sure you follow closely behind me."
After we finished climbing the stairs, a fucking enormous wetland stretched out before us.
It was only about a hundred kilometers from the city, and there was a place like this?
The Hunter world really was a demon-infested hellhole.
According to Pringles’s explanation, this place was called the Numere Wetlands.
The animals and magical beasts that lived here specialized in deceiving people.
This time, it was a test of observation.
"It’s a lie! That guy is lying!"
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
The NPC was explaining things right now.
What kind of lunatic interrupts during the tutorial?
The sort of bastard who attacks while a magical girl is transforming.
The sort of bastard who wouldn’t explain his ability even after using Bankai.
A bastard like Urahara Kisuke.
Who was this troll breaking the rules of battle shonen?
"That guy is a fake! He isn’t an examiner! I’m the real examiner!"
He’d already been beaten to a fucking pulp.
A person covered in blood emerged beside the concrete outer wall.
"A fake? What do you mean?"
Oh. It was Leorio.
He looked fucking weathered.
I’d believe he was the same age as me, but that guy was a teenager?
He must have lived a hard life.
Nice to meet him and all, but I didn’t want to make eye contact with those goddamn nipples, so I wished he’d put on some clothes.
"Look at this! It’s a human-faced ape that inhabits the Numere Wetlands!"
Oh.
It did resemble Mr. Pringles.
"Human-faced apes enjoy fresh human flesh... But they are very weak. So they cleverly pretend to be humans and lure people into the wetlands, then catch them by teaming up with other creatures!"
Thanks for the introduction.
Like a creature like that would run at the very front of a hundred-kilometer marathon.
Mr. Pringles looked relaxed on the surface, but perhaps he was in a somewhat foul mood; his Nen aura wavered a little.
However, several applicants, including Leorio, who couldn’t see Nen, seemed confused.
Hmm.
If Hisoka hadn’t stepped in here, would Leorio have failed?
Whoosh—
With a fucking menacing sound, playing cards flew through the air.
Several toward the human-faced ape.
Several toward Pringles.
And several toward me.
?
Fuck. Why me?
"Guaaagh..."
"There we go, there we go♣ That settles it◆"
What the fuck did that settle, you son of a bitch?
He’d even infused them with a little Nen.
Was he actually insane?
It was a good thing I knocked them all away with the coins I had prepared earlier. I almost died.
"You’re the real one♥ Since examiners are Hunters hired for the job♠ there’s no way a Hunter would be unable to block an attack like that♣"
"Cards flew at me as well."
What about me, you fucker?
"Ah◆ Yours went astray♣ My mistake♥"
You fucking bastard.
**
The crazy psycho clown got a warning from Pringles.
He said he understood the intention, but if he pulled any more shit, he would be disqualified.
Apparently made wary by what had just happened, the applicants followed Pringles with every nerve on edge.
There was just one minor problem...
"Gotoh, why are you here?"
"Young Master Killua."
Killua spotted me because I’d blocked those cards.
It wasn’t as if I intended to hide forever, but timing was a thing, you know.
I’d planned to casually withdraw and make a run for it if Illumi started giving Killua enough trouble after seeing him, but I hadn’t expected to get caught already.
Still, for Killua, it was fortunate that he’d run into me.
If he’d met Illumi, Killua would’ve pissed himself.
He probably wouldn’t have been able to take the exam properly, either.
"Gotoh, did you come to catch me?"
Our third young master seemed very anxious.
Technically, I had come to catch him, but I gave him a convenient lie.
"No. I came because I need a Hunter license for a mission. I did not expect to encounter you here, however..."
The mission equaled bringing Killua back, so I did need one.
That meant I hadn’t even lied.
"Is that so? Hmm..."
Killua pretended to be suspicious, but it was obvious how fucking relieved he was.
He really was still a kid.
If he wanted to become an assassin, he needed to learn how to hide his expressions better.
"Who’s this guy?"
Holy shit. It’s Gon Meat Monster. Run.
He’d finally appeared.
A spiky-haired boy who looked around Killua’s age asked with an utterly harmless expression.
"Oh, Gon. He’s Gotoh, my family’s butler. Gotoh, this is Gon. We met at the exam site."
"How do you do?"
So I finally meet the future Gon Meat Monster.
But no matter how I looked at him, compared to Killua, he was as weak as a rabbit in front of a lion.
This kid was going to grow strong enough to go toe-to-toe with Meruem later?
Protagonists really were different.
This was a fucking broken game with absurd growth modifiers.
Fix the game already, God Changseop.
"A butler? Then Killua’s the young master of a rich family? Whoa!"
That was what caught your attention?
Damn it, Gon. Was your talent for being a money grubber also the strongest?
"Uh, yeah. I guess so?"
Well, look at that.
And you’re actually admitting it.
Watching them talk, the two of them got along quite well.
It was like they had the same art style.
Which was only natural, since they were characters from the same manga.
Gon gave Killua a thumbs-up, then walked closer to me.
"Sniff, sniff."
"? What are you doing?"
"Killua! This butler guy is super strong! Amazing!"
How the hell could you tell that by smell?
Are you Kamado Tanjiro?
Go become a graduate student, Tanjiro...
"You figured that out by smell?"
"Yeah! I’m not totally sure, but he’s the strongest person I’ve met since leaving the island. He smells like Kaito."
If I was Kaito-level, that meant I’d get torn apart by a cat.
I was fucking weak.
At the very least, he needed to say, ‘He’s way stronger than Kaito!’ for me to feel reassured... Had I not trained enough?
When I got back, I should ask old man Zeno to put me through the wringer.
"Heh... I don’t know who Kaito is, but you have a good eye. Gotoh is the strongest of all our butlers."
That’s because the butlers of our family are fucking weak, Young Master.
If even one member of the Phantom Troupe invaded, all the butlers would probably die.
"The people I serve are exceptionally extraordinary, so it is difficult to keep up with them. I must work harder."
But giving a grade-schooler the red pill was too cruel, so I brushed it off.
Now that both the clown and Killua had noticed me, there was no reason to pace myself anymore, so I ran at the front alongside Gon and Killua.
Come to think of it, the Pringles examiner must have heard our entire conversation.
He knew I was a butler of the Zoldyck Family now, too.
Good job, Killua.
For an assassin family, the Zoldycks seemed to give absolutely no fucks about keeping secrets.
"The fog... Kurapika, Leorio. Do you think they’re okay?"
"Don’t let your mind wander. This isn’t the time to worry about other people."
"Yeah..."
As the fog thickened and screams came from the group behind us, Gon kept looking back, apparently worried about his companions.
Wasn’t this where he fought Hisoka for the first time?
I thought Hisoka cut down a few extras while all the protagonists survived.
I hoped this part would go according to the original story.
"Gon!"
Unable to endure it any longer, Gon finally ran toward the rear.
"Damn it. That Gon..."
"Are you worried?"
"No, forget it. He fell behind, so he’s probably dead. Idiot..."
Colder than I expected.
Then again, they hadn’t even known each other for a full day yet.
They’d become friendly, but not enough to risk their lives for each other.
Hmm.
But I had to go.
"I will go check on him."
"What? You, Gotoh?"
Fuck.
I hadn’t expected to say that myself.
But ever since the fog rolled in, some crazy clown bastard behind us had been constantly throwing cards at both you and me.
Since I kept defending without reacting, he was glaring at you like crazy.
"...There’s no need. He chose to do it himself. There’s no reason for you to take that risk, Gotoh."
No, fuck, it was more dangerous here right now.
Even with this much fog and distance between us, cards were accurately targeting Killua. That bastard must have done something to him.
He’d probably stuck something like a Nen thread onto him.
If I didn’t cut it off now, Killua would have a GPS attached to him for life.
I can erase the thread, but then he’ll just attach another one and pull more shit.
That clown bastard was fucking deranged.
I should’ve let one of those cards graze me earlier and pretended to be an ordinary person.
"Young Master. Who am I?"
It couldn’t be helped.
Time to bullshit a little.
"Huh?"
Killua looked at me as though taken aback.
"I am a butler of the Zoldyck Family. A tool that carries out orders. And in the past ten years, I have never failed a mission."
The ten years before I transmigrated didn’t count, so cut me some slack.
Killua looked like he was wondering what that had to do with anything.
"So if you give the order, I will return safely with Master Gon."
Killua’s eyes widened.
But he could not answer immediately and appeared to be deliberating.
Decide quickly.
Cards were still flying at us like crazy.
That bastard only had to throw cards, but I was losing cash.
It was fucking unfair.
"...Why would you go that far for me?"
"Who knows?"
Because I had to go to the back and beg the clown to spare me?
If I stayed with you, I’d have to fight while protecting you.
"Because this is the first time I have seen you smile with such a peaceful expression, Young Master."
"!!!"
I spoke with the kindest smile I could manage.
Though there was a limit to how kind Gotoh’s face could look.
Still, with the fog so thick, it must have looked convincing enough.
It seemed to work on Killua, at least in its own way.
"Gotoh. Please. Bring Gon back."
That was what he said.
"As you command."
Without hesitating, I began running back through the wetlands.
**
Fuck. If I pick up the coins as I go, I’ll be late, right?
Comments (0)
Please log in to leave a comment. Login or Register