Chapter 8: Carmen
"I went over to talk to you out of the blue, and I got kidnapped..."
Carmen muttered with a sniffle.
"Originally, I was only going to make a slight connection to your consciousness, you know? It wasn’t anything major—I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. But then this weird guy with an inverted eye activated suddenly showed up."
She shook the red threads binding her body.
"He said, ‘You need an assistant,’ and dragged me here just like that."
"And you just let yourself get caught?"
"I didn’t just let him! I resisted. A lot!"
"Then... why are you tied up?"
"That guy’s kind of cheating..."
Carmen puffed out her cheeks.
"It feels like he’s connected to the world itself. It’d be a pain to confront him head-on."
"But... you."
Carmen suddenly tilted her head.
"You’re worse off than I expected."
"...What is?"
"Your guilt."
"....."
"...I understand why you’re connected to Repentance, too. You keep clinging to it, refusing to let go."
"That’s how people are."
"They hide whatever hurts most in their deepest place."
"...."
"But you know something? It doesn’t disappear just because you hide it."
Carmen continued quietly.
"If anything, it just keeps rotting inside you."
"...Don’t act like you know me."
"I’m not acting."
Carmen stared straight at me.
"I’ve seen so many people like that. I may not look it, but I’ve seen a lot of people..."
"...."
"People crushed beneath their own sins. People who hate themselves—and yet still try to live on."
"I wanted to help them. That’s why I founded the institute."
Her eyes faintly wavered.
"But you know what? Do you know what I learned from that?"
Carmen slowly smiled.
"People can’t look their own wounds straight in the eye."
"What do you mean...?"
"They keep running away."
"Making excuses."
"Burying them away."
"Or they break down while accepting their sins as something only natural."
"Because... my colleagues and I were like that, too."
Silence.
Then—
Carmen spoke very softly.
"That’s why I..."
Her red eyes gave off a faint glow.
"I make them face it, even if I have to force them. So they won’t become like me... so they can face the light within their own hearts."
In that instant, the space rippled.
"What is this...?"
The room swayed like water.
Carmen’s figure blurred.
And then—
Slowly, it changed into another face.
"Captain Mir...?"
A black uniform and those distinctive scarlet eyes.
Mir looked at me, one hand gripping her sheathed sword.
That familiar, sly smile she always wore.
But it was far too cold. As though it were piercing straight through my heart.
"Hey."
"Why were you late again this time?"
My breath caught in my throat.
"Don’t... say that. Don’t say things like that while wearing the face of someone precious to me."
"No, I’m honestly curious."
Mir slowly approached.
The tip of her sheath scraped across the floor.
Srrrk.
"You were late back then, too."
"And you were late this time, too."
"I thought this time would be different. Why are you always one step too late?"
"Don’t be ridiculous."
"Ah...!"
"Are you going to make excuses again?"
"...."
"That you did your best this time?"
"That there was nothing you could do?"
My heart suddenly throbbed.
Mir’s eyes narrowed.
"But the result is the same, isn’t it?"
"."
"You failed to protect someone again, didn’t you?"
My breath stopped.
"Shut... up."
"Your face when Yuri collapsed was interesting."
Mir gave a quiet snicker.
"You couldn’t even breathe."
"Your hands were shaking."
"You looked like you were about to cry at any second."
"Were you scared?"
Those scarlet eyes looked directly at me.
"Scared you’d lose someone again?"
My lips trembled.
"No..."
"Don’t pretend it isn’t true."
Mir lightly tapped her sheath.
"You’re already broken beyond repair."
"And yet you throw yourself into danger again, saying you’re going to protect someone."
"Only to lose everything again in the end."
Mir’s smile deepened.
"You’ve got a talent for it, don’t you?"
My fingertips trembled.
Boom!!
The space twisted.
It shook again.
This time, it was Doyoon.
An expressionless face.
Cold eyes.
"Your judgment was too slow."
My heart sank.
"You failed to properly control the risk factors."
"You even allowed the corrosion to go unchecked."
Doyoon spoke evenly.
"I am disappointed."
"Were you not unqualified from the start?"
"You always act on emotion."
"You are always late."
Doyoon slowly raised the tip of his spear.
"In the end... there was another incident."
"Who will die next time?"
The space trembled again.
Nova was there,
smiling with her long rifle slung over her shoulder.
It was nothing but an empty smile.
"Wow~ You’re really dangerous."
"This time, it was Yuri."
"Who’s next?"
Nova narrowed her eyes.
"Captain Mir?"
"Doyoon?"
"Carmen... please... please stop."
"Or will it be me?"
"Keep this up, and someday you’ll really get everyone killed, you know?"
Nova snickered.
"You’ve got talent~"
"Hey, don’t make that face like you’re falling apart."
Nova’s smile deepened.
"I really mean it as a compliment."
"You have a talent for making the people around you miserable."
My nails dug into my palms.
Even breathing was difficult.
And then—
The space shook once more.
This time, it was Yuri.
She looked perfectly fine.
Her neat employee uniform, just as always.
The edge of the gloves she habitually touched whenever she was nervous.
A familiar face.
A familiar smile.
"Han..."
My breath stopped.
"Yuri...?"
Yuri gave a quiet snicker.
"Why are you so stiff?"
"..."
"I’m not dead, you know?"
Yuri shrugged.
"You look like someone who just came back from a funeral."
My fellow new hire.
A memory flashed by—of us awkwardly greeting each other for the first time in the training room.
"You..."
"Yes?"
"You’re okay, right...?"
Yuri blinked.
Then—
She smiled, very slowly.
"Who knows?"
In that instant—
Drip.
Red blood fell onto the floor.
"Huh...?"
The flesh beneath Yuri’s throat was slowly splitting open.
Red blood poured forth in a rush.
Her employee uniform was stained crimson in an instant.
"Ah..."
I couldn’t breathe.
Yuri was still smiling.
But her face was steadily growing pale.
"This time, too..."
Yuri laughed in a trembling voice.
"You were late."
"No."
Yuri took one step closer.
Blood spread beneath her feet.
"If you’d been just a little later..."
Yuri let out a breathy laugh.
"I really would have died."
"Don’t say that."
"Why not?"
Yuri smiled.
But that smile was so cold.
"It’s true, isn’t it?"
"..."
"You’re always late, Han."
My heart dropped.
"You always regret it."
"You always fall apart."
"But not a single thing ever changes."
Yuri tilted her head.
"It was the same this time, wasn’t it?"
"Yuri."
"Nobody wants to die."
Yuri’s voice lowered.
"I didn’t want to die."
"And nobody wants to die."
Red blood trickled from her chin.
"But you always..."
Yuri smiled.
"Act like you’re the only one suffering the most."
My breath caught.
"That’s..."
"Then what should you have done, Han?"
Yuri stepped closer.
Splash.
"Should you have died with me?"
"Or should you have done nothing from the beginning?"
My throat closed up.
I couldn’t answer.
Yuri only stared at me.
With blood-soaked eyes.
"But you know..."
Yuri tapped her own chest with a bloodied hand.
Splash.
Red blood splattered.
"It ended up like this, after all."
"It really is your fault, Han."
In that instant—
My mind went completely blank.
"Ah..."
"Always late."
"Always acting on emotion."
"Always trying to carry everything alone."
Yuri’s smile grew more and more distorted.
"But what was the result?"
"I almost died again this time, didn’t I?"
My breath caught in my throat.
Yuri slowly approached.
Then—
She spoke as though whispering into my ear.
"Why do you always reach out your hand when you can’t even protect anyone, Han?"
My heart sank all the way down.
"Stop... stop it."
My voice cracked.
Yuri looked at me and smiled very slowly.
But that smile...
Was no longer the face of the Yuri I knew.
"Do you still... still not understand?"
"Han..."
Yuri’s eyes rippled red.
"You aren’t saving anyone."
"You’re just struggling to ease your own guilt."
My mind went numb.
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
Yuri snickered.
"If it had really been for my sake..."
"You wouldn’t have acted so recklessly. Who was it that nearly died from overexerting himself while fighting alongside me?"
Yuri tapped her own chest with a finger.
Splash.
Red blood ran down.
"Me. Because of your recklessness, Han."
"You say you know the future? That you’re twisting fate? You sure are twisting it—almost getting someone who was fated to live killed."
I couldn’t breathe.
A ringing sounded in my ears.
My fingertips trembled.
Looking down at me, Yuri quietly muttered,
"You’re so cruel, Han."
"If you’re going to save someone, save them properly."
"Otherwise, don’t give them hope and make them expect something from the start."
My vision shook.
And then—
Gray-haired Carmen came into view again.
"It hurts, doesn’t it?"
Carmen spoke quietly.
"Why...?"
My voice cracked.
"Why are you showing me this...?"
Carmen said nothing for a while.
Then she opened her mouth very slowly.
"Because you keep running away from it."
"..."
"People don’t want to look properly at their own sins."
"They keep covering them up."
"They keep turning away from them."
"And eventually, they rot inside them."
Carmen looked at me.
"But you’re especially bad."
"..."
"You cling to your guilt..."
"But at the same time, you never truly face it."
My breath caught.
"You keep running away."
"Not toward, ‘It’s not my fault.’"
"But toward, ‘I just don’t have to think about it.’"
"Shut up... shut up!!!"
"That’s why I showed you."
Carmen’s gaze deepened.
"The voices you most don’t want to hear."
"The stares you fear most."
"Because that..."
Carmen smiled quietly.
"Is the true voice inside you right now, and the light within your heart."
The space shook again.
Much more violently this time.
For the first time, Carmen’s expression hardened.
"Huh...? What—wait."
Carmen furrowed her brow.
"This isn’t something I touched."
In that instant—
The entire room split open in black cracks.
Then—
Someone walked out.
A school uniform.
A black winter uniform.
An ordinary male student.
My breath stopped.
It felt as though my heart had fallen straight to the floor.
Familiar.
Familiar.
I had never forgotten.
Not even once.
"Why are you...?"
My voice trembled.
The boy slowly raised his head.
Then he smiled.
It was a warm smile.
"It’s been a long time, ■■."
I couldn’t breathe.
My vision shook.
Carmen looked at the boy.
For the first time, wariness filled her eyes.
"What... are you?"
The boy glanced toward Carmen.
Then he spoke very softly.
"It is too early."
Silence fell in an instant.
Carmen’s eyes narrowed.
"Why are you here?"
The boy did not answer.
He only looked back at me.
"It’s okay."
"It wasn’t your fault."
In that instant—
I began to hear the sound of water in my ears.
Splash.
Splash.
My breathing grew ragged.
"Back then, too..."
The boy smiled quietly.
"You didn’t do it on purpose."
No.
Don’t listen.
"It’s okay."
"Don’t... come closer."
"You did enough."
"DON’T COME CLOSER!!"
I couldn’t breathe.
My hands shook.
My vision collapsed.
The smell of rainwater.
A cold sensation.
Screams.
"No..."
The boy reached out his hand.
"You can stop suffering now."
"Aaaagh!!"
In that instant—
Crack!!
The space shattered into pieces.
I couldn’t breathe.
My body trembled.
Someone grabbed my shoulders.
"Hey!!"
A familiar voice.
"Get a hold of yourself!!"
My eyes snapped open.
Ragged breathing.
Blurred vision.
And then—
Scarlet eyes.
"Captain Mir? Where am I...?"
Mir was looking down at me with a furrowed brow.
"The infirmary. Did you have a nightmare or something?"
At that moment, I realized my hands were still trembling.
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