Chapter 19: Human Nature Is Inherently Good (Side Story 2)
人之初 性本善
At the beginning of humanity, nature is inherently good.
It means that humans are inherently good.
Ever since that day, I had always carried those words in my heart.
To become like the person who saved me.
To avoid casually giving up on someone, just as the person who gave me another chance at life had not given up on me.
And to look upon others without prejudice, and act as they did.
At first, I really had been like that. No, at least when I first came to the Safety Team, I had sincerely intended to be.
"Nova."
"Yes~"
"The new hires are coming."
I sat up from where I had been reclining on the sofa.
Several weeks had passed since I came to the Safety Team.
Everything had felt unfamiliar right after I was practically chased out of headquarters and transferred here, but by now, I had adapted to some extent.
Did those bastard headquarters people seriously think it made sense to forcibly transfer me, slap a Grade 5 title on me for appearances’ sake, and then not send us any new hires for several weeks as payment?
Still, Team Leader Mir was as loud as ever, Doyoon was still cold on the surface but softhearted underneath, and I was still hugging Abraxas and smiling vaguely.
"New hires?"
"Yep."
Team Leader Mir waved the documents in her hand.
Her brown hair swayed against her shoulders.
"A few of the ones who finished training this time are supposedly coming to our team."
"Wow~ Am I finally getting juniors?"
"Looks like it. You’re a senior now too. Though, didn’t you have plenty of juniors back when you were at headquarters?"
"That was different~ So does that mean I get treated like a senior in the Safety Team now?"
Doyoon spoke beside me as he turned over some documents.
"Before that, try behaving like a senior in front of the new hires."
"That hurts~"
"You are not injured."
Sometimes I genuinely couldn’t tell whether he was playing along with a joke or just hitting me with one.
Still, I wasn’t in a bad mood that day.
New hires were coming. New people were joining us.
For someone, it would be a day to start over; for someone else, a chance to turn their life around.
But at the very least, I did not want to let them die easily in this hell.
Just as that person at headquarters had done for me.
If I could save someone, I wanted to save them. I wanted to help everyone, regardless of where they came from.
The door opened, and several tense faces entered.
There was someone who looked like they came from the Backstreets, someone who seemed to have been dragged in from the subcontractors of some Wing, and someone whose rigid posture made them look like they had come from an Office.
They all came from different backgrounds.
Some were so obviously from the Middle that you could tell at a glance. There was someone who looked like a Fixer, probably in the middle of quitting and running away, too. They came in all varieties.
Still, they were all equally nervous because it was their first time.
"Hi~ Looking forward to working with you. I’m Nova, your senior in the Safety Team~"
"Senior, my ass."
Doyoon muttered under his breath.
"Why? It’s true~"
"Your behavior is the problem."
"You’re so mean~"
Team Leader Mir laughed as she watched us.
"Anyway, welcome. This is the Safety Team. It’s called the Safety Team, though I’m not sure how safe it actually is."
"Team Leader..."
Doyoon immediately cut her off.
"Please do not say things like that on their first day."
"Why? It’s true."
"Even if it is true, there are things one should and should not say."
"Fine, fine."
Team Leader Mir shrugged.
"Still, I’ll promise you one thing. Now that you’re here, we won’t give up on you easily."
At those words, the new hires’ faces relaxed a little.
I smiled as I heard them too.
Right. That was how it should be.
Let’s make sure there are no more people like us.
That was the promise Team Leader Mir spoke, Doyoon agreed to, and I nodded along with.
Back then, I still did not know how heavy that promise was.
The first day passed more normally than expected.
I taught the new hires the basic procedures for managing Abnormalities.
How to write records.
What to check before entering an isolation chamber.
How to inspect E.G.O equipment.
Do not force yourself to endure it when your sanity is wavering.
Run when you need to run.
And never make decisions alone.
"Do you know what kind of people die most often here?"
When I asked, one of the new hires cautiously raised a hand.
"Weak employees...?"
"Wrong."
I wagged a finger.
"The ones who pretend they’re smart all by themselves."
...Like I used to.
A few of them laughed awkwardly.
I didn’t mind that laughter.
It seemed like they had relaxed a little.
"Say something if you’re scared. If you can’t do it, say you can’t. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. The dumbest thing is dying here because you were too worried about looking pathetic."
That was what I told them. I think I meant it sincerely.
Doyoon separately made a training plan.
He checked each person’s stamina, reaction speed, and equipment compatibility, then assigned schedules that would not push them too far.
He looked cold and stiff, but in truth, he was more meticulous than anyone.
"Isn’t this training volume a little too easy~?"
I asked teasingly, and Doyoon answered without even looking my way.
"Unless you intend to break them in their first week, this is appropriate."
"Wow~ How sweet."
"Do not mock me."
"I’m complimenting you~"
"Do not compliment me in that tone of voice."
Team Leader Mir was even more blatant.
At lunchtime, she dragged the new hires along and made them eat.
If someone’s hands shook, she silently pushed a glass of water toward them. If someone could not answer, she deliberately changed the subject.
Being able to look after strangers that naturally was a genuine talent.
That was what I thought at the time.
And I tried to follow her example.
If a new hire froze up in front of an isolation chamber, I stood beside them.
"Scared?"
"N-No, I’m not."
"You’re bad at lying~"
"I’m sorry."
"Don’t apologize. If you’re scared, say you’re scared. That’s how you live longer."
Eventually, they nodded.
I leaned against the wall beside the door and spoke.
"Go in. I’ll be watching from outside."
And I really watched until the very end.
The moment they came out after the work was done, they collapsed to the floor.
Smiling, I held out my hand.
"You survived?"
"Yes..."
"Then that’s all that matters."
Back then, I believed words like that saved people.
That just knowing someone was beside you could give you the strength to endure one more time.
Team Leader Mir was like that. Doyoon was like that. And so was I.
That was how we sent off our first new hires.
I thought things would go well. I thought life would end in a happy ending, like a fairy tale.
But it didn’t...
Not long after that, the first one died.
It happened during management work.
The work result fluctuated slightly, our response was late, and the Abnormality did not wait for us.
By the time we went in to rescue them, it was already too late.
I remember the first new hire’s name.
Their face, what they liked, their family.
Even the way their hands trembled before the isolation chamber door at the end.
That day, I wrote a report. A report stating the cause of death and requesting a new hire.
As though I were requesting a replacement for a broken part.
I had surely done it while I was at headquarters, yet my heart felt heavy.
It hurt like I had been stabbed.
Doyoon silently organized the records, while Team Leader Mir stood in front of the morgue for a long time.
No one joked around.
The next day, as requested, a new hire arrived.
And we did the same thing all over again.
We memorized their names, trained them, and helped them when they made mistakes.
When they were afraid, we waited for them.
So there would be no more people like us.
We tried to keep that promise, foolishly...
The second died in an escape incident.
The third died from corrosion.
The fourth died trying to save a colleague.
The fifth survived, but applied to resign not long afterward.
If they had known what resignation meant, they would not have done that...
They had applied to resign without asking us, so there was nothing we could do.
The sixth cursed us out.
"Who the hell do you think you are?!"
They clutched their bandaged arm and glared at us.
"Why do you keep pretending to help me?"
"We’re not pretending to help..."
Team Leader Mir tried to speak, but they shouted.
"Just leave me alone!"
Her mouth closed.
"Isn’t it my business whether I live or die? Why do you keep trying to save me however you see fit?"
No one could answer right away.
"Stop acting so self-righteous..."
Even Team Leader Mir paused for a moment, and Doyoon tightened his grip on the record sheet in his hand.
I tried to smile.
I tried to brush it off like I usually did.
I made a mistake... I should have taken better care of my juniors.
But it did not work.
Similar things kept happening after that.
Those from the Backstreets could not trust anyone’s kindness.
Those from the Fingers calculated everything in terms of hierarchy and debt.
Those from Wings regarded our team as little more than a temporary shelter.
Those from Offices thought they had been abandoned.
Some died.
Some left.
Some resented us.
At first, I tried to understand.
Because everyone had lived through a different story.
Because, as that person had said, humans were inherently good.
I thought they simply could not express it.
So I got closer.
I explained more.
I waited longer.
But at some point, a thought came to me.
What am I even doing?
The hands I held out to save people were slapped away. The people I dragged out by force went back in to die. The people I barely managed to save hated us.
Those meant to die, die. Those meant to leave, leave.
That truth slowly seeped into me.
Team Leader Mir remained the same.
Whenever a new hire arrived, she memorized their name.
She comforted them when they cried, and stopped them when they tried to run away.
Even when they cursed at her, she went to see them the next day just the same.
Doyoon changed a little.
He still looked after them as before.
But he drew a line.
He only told them what they needed to know, and intervened only as much as necessary.
Like someone who had learned that was the way to endure longer.
I was worse.
At some point, I stopped memorizing names.
Even when I did remember them, I erased them quickly.
I stopped counseling people too.
Even if someone trembled in front of an isolation chamber, I just walked past.
After all, even if I stood beside them, those meant to die would die.
After all, even if I waited, those meant to leave would leave.
It was easier that way.
Once I admitted that I had given up, it actually became easier.
That was why I hated the way Team Leader Mir sometimes looked at me.
She did not say anything.
She merely looked at me, but that look irritated me so much.
Because it was a look like she knew exactly where I had gone wrong...
And because it was a look that pitied me...
Then a year passed.
"Hey!! Nova!! How long are you going to space out?! Today’s the day new hires join our team!!!"
"Haa..."
I lifted my head from the desk where I had been lying face-down.
"I’m coming~ I was thinking about our cute new hires~"
"Don’t bullshit me. You were sleeping, weren’t you?"
"I was thinking with my eyes closed?"
"That’s called sleeping."
Team Leader Mir held a set of documents.
Doyoon was already beside her, organizing the orientation materials.
He really was diligent.
Didn’t living like that get exhausting?
The door opened.
Two new hires entered.
The first thing I saw was a red-haired girl.
Her name was Yuri.
She’s pretty young... It’d leave a bad taste in my mouth if someone that young died...
A nervous expression, hunched shoulders, hands clenched tightly.
She’d probably cry and make a fuss, then die soon enough...
Beside her was a black-haired boy.
His name was Han.
Rumor had it he was a new hire with an error on his employee ID. I remember thinking that even a big Wing made mistakes like that.
Han was ordinary.
For someone from the City, he seemed strangely out of place somehow, but I did not bother thinking about it then.
Just another weird new hire had joined us.
That was all there was to it.
"Um... I look forward to working with you."
Yuri spoke quietly.
"I look forward to working with you."
Han bowed as well.
I waved my hand.
"Yeah~ Looking forward to it."
My mouth was smiling, but I did not think much of anything inside.
Another set of new hires. How long would these ones last?
A week?
A month?
A little longer if they were lucky?
That was all.
On her first day, Yuri flinched at even minor things.
Han was oddly calm beside her.
It was not that he was fearless. Unlike the other new hires, he seemed to know what Abnormalities were.
They were a strange pairing.
Still, I paid them no attention.
Getting interested made things annoying.
Memorizing their names made things more annoying when they died.
So I merely smiled vaguely.
"Oh~ The new hires are working hard."
"Senior Nova..."
Yuri lowered her head.
"Don’t be so tense. Being tense makes you easier to kill~"
"Please don’t say things like that..."
"She’s not wrong, but..."
Han spoke from beside her.
Yuri looked at Han.
"Han..."
I snickered.
It was a little funny.
My internal evaluation of him rose slightly.
From a slightly strange new hire who seemed likely to die soon, to one who might live fairly long and ease my discomfort by at least a little.
On the third day after they joined, I saw them eating together.
They joked around with each other and seemed to have grown a little... closer.
On the fifth day.
They were looking through training materials together.
Han was telling Yuri about Abnormalities.
I wondered why he knew things that were not even well-known at headquarters.
Still, I let it go. It was good for me if knowing that helped them live even a little longer.
Then came their seventh day.
The mercenary escaped.
Unfortunately, near the new-hire sector.
Beeeeep—
Red emergency lights stained the corridor.
[Information Team WAW-class Abnormality has escaped.]
[Variant of the Red Hooded Mercenary confirmed.]
Team Leader Mir’s voice came through the radio.
[Doyoon.]
[Listening.]
[Go ahead with Nova.]
Doyoon moved at once.
I pressed the radio button.
"Aw~ I’m sure the kids will run away on their own."
Snicker.
A laugh slipped out.
"And if they die, wasn’t that just as far as their fate went?"
There was a brief silence.
Team Leader Mir’s voice lowered over the radio.
[Nova... Do you think this is... a joke?]
"No..."
It was the first time.
The first time Team Leader Mir had spoken to me like that.
The person who had said nothing even as I gave up on the new hires and neglected them was showing hostility toward me.
My heart hurt.
Because it felt as though I had grown distant from a precious connection.
And because it was obvious that I was the cause.
Because I was the one who had failed to keep and broken that promise.
[You’d better get there right now.]
Has she completely given up on me...?
At that moment, Han’s voice cut into the shared channel.
[Team Leader, Team Lea—]
"Ah~ Seriously."
I picked up Abraxas.
"This goddamn company can’t stand letting people rest."
By the time Doyoon and I reached the Information Team’s blockade, the way was already blocked.
People from the Command Team were maintaining the barricade, and Seo-hyeok, the Information Team leader, stood there with his arms folded, smiling.
"The Safety Team sure is in a hurry."
I hated that face every time I saw it.
"I heard the line to the Training Team has been breached?"
When I said that, Seo-hyeok shrugged.
"I know."
"But what can we do?"
"Rules are rules."
Doyoon’s eyes narrowed.
"There is no reason to delay right now."
"I have one, though?"
Seo-hyeok smiled.
"If they’re new hires, isn’t it only natural they might die?"
"This is that kind of place."
He was right.
That was why it irritated me even more.
I could have broken through easily enough.
Doyoon probably could have too.
If we set our minds to it, a blockade like this would not take long.
But I did not move right away.
Why?
Because it was probably already too late.
Doyoon must have felt the same way, which was why he went along with it.
Gunshots rang out.
The mercenary had probably fired them.
Which meant there was a high chance the two new hires were finished.
They were only Grade 2, at best.
Even if we went now, we would only be collecting corpses.
That was what I thought.
Then Team Leader Mir arrived.
Her expression was murderous.
"Hey. Move."
Seo-hyeok snickered.
"And if I don’t want to?"
The next instant, a blue sword flash cleaved through the blockade barricade.
The severed metal rolled across the floor.
The corridor fell quiet.
Team Leader Mir glared at Seo-hyeok.
"Didn’t I tell you not to make me say it more than three times?"
Then she ran.
Only then did I move as well.
Doyoon ran with me.
It was too late. It definitely had to be too late.
But when we reached the scene...
It was not over yet.
Yuri had fallen.
I saw blood.
Her shirt was soaked red.
Han stood in front of her.
Covered in blood, precariously.
His legs were shaking, and even the hand gripping Repentance could not steady itself properly.
The mercenary was raising its axe.
To kill him.
To finish it.
And Han did not run away.
Why?
That was genuinely the first thought that came to me.
Why isn’t he running?
He could have lived if he abandoned Yuri.
At that distance, he could have retreated.
Why is he still standing there?
In that instant, an image from long ago overlaid itself in my mind.
Me, walking blankly toward Apocalypse Bird.
The person who had stood in its way.
My benefactor, who shoved me aside and was torn apart in my place.
I did not understand back then either.
Why they had not run when they could have lived.
Why they kept saying humans were inherently good until the end.
And why they had not given up on me until their last moment.
I thought I understood.
I tried to become like that person.
I tried to believe in the words they left behind.
Even after coming to the Safety Team, even after meeting Team Leader Mir and Doyoon.
I had definitely vowed that we would make sure no more people like us existed.
So when had it started?
Those meant to die.
Those meant to leave.
Those meant to resent us.
At some point, I started calling people that.
When new hires came in, I thought of their survival time before their names.
When someone died, instead of grieving, my first thought was when the next new hire would come.
Haa...
This is really funny.
After hearing those words from someone who died trying to save me, I was wasting the life they had thrown away for me.
I had told Team Leader Mir that I would try again, so what the hell had I been doing all this time?
The Han before my eyes was still holding on to what I had thrown away.
He could have at least saved his own life if he left Yuri behind.
But he did not do that.
No. More precisely, he was making the same choice as the person I had once admired.
My thoughts stopped there.
Team Leader Mir moved first.
"[Azure Qilin Style Secret Technique]."
A blue sword flash split the corridor.
"[Fallen Dragon]."
The mercenary’s arm flew off.
Doyoon immediately drove Janseong in.
"Escape route blocked."
A black lance pierced through the mercenary’s leg and embedded it in the floor.
Its movements stopped.
I raised Abraxas.
Now then~ Shall we finish this?
I tried to say it like I usually did.
But strangely, my mouth moved late.
The scene before me lingered in my mind.
Yuri, fallen on the floor, and Han enduring in front of her.
Though he could have lived.
Though he could have run.
He remained until the end.
And over him, the final image of my former team leader overlaid itself.
This time, I could not pretend not to see.
"Abraxas."
I gripped the gun barrel.
Take one week of my happiness.
Abraxas trembled low.
Contract concluded.
My smile disappeared.
One week of happiness might not sound like much, but it was actually quite expensive.
Far too extravagant for a mere WAW-class mercenary.
Because it was an emotion I had only just managed to find again.
Still, it was fine.
Because this time, I had been wrong.
And because this was a slightly belated act of atonement.
For that person. For the new hires I had turned away from.
And for those two who were still alive.
Haa... Still, I would have to pretend to be happy for a while...
I should not make them worry for no reason.
"Deploy."
The Red Hooded Mercenary raised its gun with its remaining arm.
"But what can you do~ It’s already too late~"
I pulled the trigger.
A roar closer to an explosion than a gunshot shook the corridor.
The bullet pierced the mercenary’s head.
Half of its head exploded away.
The mercenary stopped moving.
Shortly afterward, its body melted down like black mud.
That was how the mercenary incident was resolved successfully, aside from the not-at-all-minor incident of Han’s corrosion afterward.
At dawn that day, I sat facing Team Leader Mir.
Only one light was on in the office.
Doyoon had gone to organize the reports, while Yuri and Han were in the recovery room.
"Nova."
"Yes~"
"Why did you say that earlier?"
"Say what?"
"That if they died, it was fate."
I did not answer.
Team Leader Mir sighed.
"You meant it."
"..."
"Nova."
"Team Leader."
I spoke first.
"I worked hard at first too."
The words came out of my mouth more easily than I expected.
"But it didn’t work."
"Even if I tried to save them, they died. Even if I helped them, they resented me. Even if I held on to them, they pushed me away."
"After a while, you start thinking, don’t you?"
"Maybe it’s better to just leave them alone."
"Maybe those meant to die will die, and those meant to live will live."
Team Leader Mir did not say anything.
"But after seeing today..."
"I guess I was wrong again."
"Those two new hires..."
"Yuri was terrified enough to die, but she did not run."
"Han could have lived if he abandoned Yuri, but he did not abandon her."
"..."
"So thank you."
"Because they let me realize I was wrong."
"Because I think I understand a little better why the benefactor who saved me made that choice."
Silence passed for a while.
Team Leader Mir looked at me for a long time.
Then she spoke softly.
"You only realized that now?"
"You idiot."
I snickered.
Team Leader Mir sighed.
"I was really angry."
"When I heard what you said earlier."
"I really wanted to hit you."
"Yes~ I’m sorry."
"Don’t joke around. You meant it then."
"..."
"But..."
Team Leader Mir paused.
"Still, it’s a relief."
"What is?"
"It’s not over yet."
"You weren’t completely broken."
"So."
"Don’t let go of that feeling this time."
"Now that you’ve barely found it again."
The next day, several nutritional supplements good for the body were placed in front of the recovery room.
There were sanity recovery drinks too.
Who left them there? I wonder.
Yuri saw them and looked around.
"These... Who..."
As I passed by, I said,
"Huh~ Looks like someone left them here."
"Senior Nova..."
"What?"
"Could it be that you..."
"Why would it be me?"
I smiled.
"I’m not such a nice person~ I’m the one who told you to die the first time we met~"
Yuri silently looked down at the drinks.
Han looked at me briefly from beside her.
Did he notice?
Well... It did not matter.
After that, I went to the training room from time to time.
Team Leader Mir put Han and Yuri through the wringer.
Yuri looked almost ready to cry, while Han gritted his teeth and endured.
"Yuri."
"Yes..."
"Pick up the twin blades."
"I can’t lift my hands..."
"Pick them up."
"Yes..."
Watching from the side made me laugh.
"Wow~"
"That’s seriously brutal."
Han looked at me.
"Aren’t you going to stop her?"
"Why?"
I shook my drink can.
"It’s fun~ And nice to watch too~"
Han’s expression soured.
Yeah, that expression was more entertaining than expected.
In truth, I had not come to tease them.
I was just worried. Worried whether they would be able to do well.
I simply did not say something like that out loud because it would be strange.
Once, Yuri’s hands were shaking after training.
I tossed a sanity recovery drink beside her.
Yuri caught it in surprise.
"Uh..."
"I had extras, so I was going to throw it out."
"But it hasn’t even been opened..."
"Then you throw it out."
"...Thank you."
"I said throw it away."
Yuri smiled softly.
Ah... So she could smile.
A few days passed.
During that time, Han and Yuri endured better than I expected.
They did not die, nor did they run away.
They did not resent us, either.
Rather, they seemed to be gradually adapting to this company.
I did not know whether that was a good thing.
One night.
I was crouched in front of a vending machine.
In my hand was Enkephalin, my old friend.
I think I had cut down a little after the mercenary incident, but today I wanted to get drunk for the first time in a while, so I came back.
And, true to this damned company, the effect was certainly potent.
"Senior."
I raised my head.
It was Han.
"Yeah~?"
"Do you have time tomorrow?"
"Why?"
"There’s something I need help with during work with the mercenary, so I wanted you to come in with me."
I shook the can.
"Oh~ Then why not bring Team Leader Mir~?"
"..."
Even as I said that, I intended to go with him.
He was a friend I was grateful to, one who had allowed me to continue dreaming again after I had forgotten kindness and given up on everything.
Still, it was fine to tease him a little, right?
"Don’t tell me~ You’re finally planning to cause trouble~?"
Han was silent for a moment.
So that guy could get flustered too...
Still...
"Fine, I’ll go with you~ If a junior asks for help, of course a senior should help."
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