"Haa... This has gotten really troublesome~"
I looked up at the Apocalypse Bird.
My junior was probably chasing after the hunter by now.
The cabin held the mercenary at the heart of this play, and every clue to resolving this situation was over there too.
Then what I had to do was obvious, wasn’t it?
"Buy time."
"Buy even one more minute so our cute junior can end this play~"
I sighed.
"The thing I hate most~"
Cawwwww—!!
So noisy.
Why was that thing always getting in my way, back then and now?
"You know? Even though I said all that, I’m... still full of hatred for you. I still can’t forgive you for killing him. But I’m doing this because I’m following his words, and because I want to save my precious new connections.
"So~ come at me already~"
Countless eyes turned toward me.
I raised Abraxas.
"...Abraxas, you’re listening, right~?"
A snicker slipped out.
"My sense of smell."
"My hearing."
"My sense of taste."
I thought for a moment.
What else would satisfy this greedy thing?
Then I had a good idea.
"Ah~"
"I can give you that."
I looked down at my left arm.
"My left arm too."
"I’ll lend it to you for a week."
Abraxas trembled faintly.
Contract concluded.
The scent of the forest vanished.
The sensation on the tip of my tongue too.
The sounds around me too.
My sense of touch too.
And my left arm too.
It must have taken them all.
"Haha~ As expensive as ever."
I shifted my grip on Abraxas.
"Still, I sent my junior in alone. I should do at least this much~"
"Abraxas, deploy~"
At the same time—
Cawwwww—!!
The Apocalypse Bird shrieked.
And a single light came on in the darkness.
I raised Abraxas.
The small beak. Let’s aim there first.
One at a time. Slowly. Don’t get impatient—start with the weakest one.
Ten shots should be enough for now. Then—
Wait~ I’m curious~
Was that light that color the first time I saw it too~?
I think it was yellow~
Or was it a little brighter~?
I narrowed my eyes.
Come to think of it, that light is kind of pretty. It’s floating there alone in the middle of the forest, and it makes me want to go toward it—
Kwwaaang—!!
A yellow eyeball blasted away the tree I had been standing on.
"...Huh~?"
The broken tree toppled to the side.
Fragments grazed my face.
Only then did I throw myself away.
I landed, rolled, and got back to my feet.
"...Ha. I almost fell for it again~ Just as pathetically as last time..."
The lamp before the Apocalypse Bird glowed again.
It was stronger than before.
I immediately raised my gun.
The small beak.
It’s bright...
The small beak.
The small beak.
Pretty too~
Start with the small beak.
Get a grip. Don’t make yourself look pathetic in front of your junior.
I kept repeating it to myself.
Don’t think about anything else.
Don’t look at that light either. Just the small beak.
Still, the corner of my vision kept bothering me.
As if someone were constantly tugging at my collar, my thoughts and actions were trying to twist out of shape.
"Wow~ You really are damn annoying~"
Bang—!!
This time, I pulled the trigger right away.
Before my thoughts could wander elsewhere.
A golden bullet flew forth.
An attack from Abraxas, which imbued the bullet with the enemy’s weakness attribute.
That bad friend takes a lot, but its effects really are good~
It struck the Apocalypse Bird’s small beak.
Right in the center, it cracked with a crunch.
Cawwwww—!!
The Apocalypse Bird roared.
"Good~ That went in nicely. About six more shots, and the small beak breaks~?"
Kwakwakwakwaang—!!
Yellow eyeballs came flying at me again.
I leapt up into the trees.
"Ah~ Does it hurt? But you know~? Ever since then, there hasn’t been a single time when thinking about you didn’t hurt me too."
The Apocalypse Bird’s gaze followed me.
Yellow eyeballs fired again.
To the right.
To the left.
Down.
Up.
The entire forest was being smashed apart.
"Seriously, give it a rest~"
While the Apocalypse Bird’s attacks continued, I attacked through that brief gap between one attack and the next.
Bang—!!
Another shot hit the small beak.
The crack spread wider.
Then the Apocalypse Bird’s beak opened.
A red light.
"...Ah."
"I don’t like that one~"
Kwwaaang—!!
A red flash devoured the forest.
I twisted my body.
I couldn’t avoid it completely.
My back was torn open, and it felt like my side had burst apart.
Thankfully, blood sprayed everywhere, but I was alive.
Another fortunate thing was that I couldn’t feel my left hand anymore, so it didn’t hurt?
"I said it hurts~ Seriously."
I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth.
Then I raised the long gun again.
Bang—!!
Bang—!!
I kept firing rapidly at the small beak.
Perhaps because it hurt, the Apocalypse Bird moved to avoid my attacks.
The ground split, and trees fell.
Then its long arm moved—a massive arm wrapped in bandages.
"...That’s cheating~"
With a jingle of bells, the scales that had always tipped to one side moved.
"...Ah, I don’t like that~"
Another jingle, and pain as though my whole body were being torn apart surged through me.
"Ghk... That hurts~"
Blood pooled in my mouth.
My knees trembled.
My vision blurred.
"That’s seriously cheating. It’s unreasonable~"
Kwwaaang—!!
A huge wing came crashing down.
I rolled away.
The spot where I had been just moments ago was pulverized.
Dirt erupted upward, and a nearby tree was uprooted whole by the impact.
"That was dangerous~"
Cawwwww—!!
The Apocalypse Bird shrieked again.
The lamp glowed among its countless eyes.
"...Again?"
My gaze was pulled toward it.
My mind grew hazy.
This was worse than before...
Was it because of my wounds? Or the blood loss?
My focus had slipped.
It was hard to tear my gaze away from that eye.
"...Damn it."
Yellow eyeballs flew at me again.
I saw them too late. My mistake~
Kwwaaang—!!
An explosion, and my body was sent flying.
I rolled several times.
My ribs screamed.
I couldn’t breathe.
"Ha..."
"I really am going to die~ I’ve always wanted to die, but now that the time to really die has come, it might feel a little empty... This is when I should drink some Enkephalin and kill it~"
I staggered to my feet.
The Apocalypse Bird approached.
Its long arms, big eye, and small beak were all turned toward me.
"But~ You’re hurting quite a bit too, right?"
I loaded.
I aimed.
I fired.
Bang—!!
A golden bullet pierced the small beak.
With a crunch, the crack spread all the way through.
And for the last shot, carrying the wishes of the people precious to me—
One final bullet.
Bang—!!
The Apocalypse Bird’s small beak shattered completely.
Fragments scattered throughout the forest.
Cawwwww—!!
The Apocalypse Bird shrieked madly.
"Oh~ That’s one down."
I coughed up blood.
My left arm wouldn’t move.
A few of my ribs were gone too.
My vision was blurring.
Meanwhile, the Apocalypse Bird was still strong.
Both the big eye and long arm remained.
"...Junior."
You’ll get scolded if you’re really late getting to the cabin~
The Apocalypse Bird raised its enormous foot.
It was going to stomp down.
I raised my gun barrel.
The foot, or the long arm.
If I shoot the foot, I can stop it.
I could hold out a little longer.
Five minutes at most.
But after that?
My junior would come back.
If he succeeded, he would bring the mercenary too.
Even so, the Apocalypse Bird would still be strong.
They couldn’t win in that state. That was certain.
"...Then the answer is decided~ It’s an answer I should have handed in long ago."
The barrel moved.
From the enormous foot to the bandage-wrapped long arm.
The Apocalypse Bird’s foot began to fall.
As though the sky itself were collapsing.
But I didn’t dodge.
I should have died back then, and I’m dying now instead, right? That’s a net gain, isn’t it?
The barrel didn’t waver either.
I looked only at the long arm.
"Rookie—no, Han~"
The corners of my mouth curled up.
"Even if this senior seems like a lunatic sometimes, I make the right choice too~"
"Abraxas, I’m in a good mood~ I’ll give you everything I have, so make sure your final service is worth it~"
I pulled the trigger.
Bang—!!
At the same time, the massive foot stomped down on me.
My vision flipped over.
Huh... That’s strange.
I can’t hear anything.
Ah... Right.
I gave away my hearing too...
I could see the sky.
The black forest and the Apocalypse Bird both seemed to be drifting farther away.
The Team Leader too.
Senior Doyoon too.
And our rookies, who must still be having a hard time even now.
Yuri too.
Han too.
They’ll all be okay, right?
Haha~
Now that I’m about to die, I can’t stop laughing~
Come to think of it, will Abraxas be okay?
It’ll have a hard time finding its next owner after I’m gone...
That greedy bastard.
It really took so much this time, and it’s the last time too... Wow...
Thinking about it, Abraxas had a really nasty personality when I first met it too.
But compared to now...
It was very different...
My rising body began to fall.
Then I was caught in someone’s warm embrace.
Brown hair covered my face.
I have to say it... I have to ask Han for help...
My eyes closed.
They say each person is the protagonist of their own life.
But the important thing is that while everyone is the protagonist in a performance called life, each person’s performance is different.
I was from the Backstreets.
If you gave the performance called life a grade, mine would probably have been an F.
The very bottom of the scale, at that.
Because the Backstreets where I was born happened to be ruled by the Ring.
Every day, someone disappeared after becoming one of the Ring’s art pieces.
Without a sound or trace.
My family was among them.
And so, the little girl who lost her family lived desperately.
I became a Fixer in my early teens.
Murder.
Kidnapping.
Escort work.
Tracking.
I did anything that made money.
To survive.
To see tomorrow.
Something must have broken in me from then on.
Living as though I were being chased, I found myself in my late teens.
I became an adult, and I began receiving not-bad evaluations even among Fixers.
Then one day, I received an offer to join the newly founded Wing, L Corp.
I was truly happy then.
It felt as though the grade of my performance called life had risen from F to S.
Looking back, it’s a funny story.
Fuck.
I should never have done it.
Back then, I was proud to be assigned to Headquarters.
And it was even the Disciplinary Team.
A department with considerable authority, even among Fixer Offices.
That was where I first received Abraxas.
And I was a loner.
I pushed people away when they approached me.
If they spoke kindly to me, I cursed at them first.
I didn’t trust even people who tried to help me.
After that happened several times, people gave up too.
They began leaving me alone.
Everyone except that person.
That person was the Disciplinary Team Leader.
He was a high-ranking employee.
High enough to trade jokes with Gebura, the Sephirah in charge of our team.
He was kind and innocent, yet capable enough to be recognized by everyone.
That was why he had risen so high.
"Nova? What are you doing here?"
"..."
"There’s plenty to do. Shouldn’t you get to know your teammates too?"
"What do you know?"
"Hm?"
"Just leave me alone."
I had said it in an irritated voice.
"I’ve never trusted anyone here. Not once."
"They’re just people from work."
"A place where we work for money."
"Nothing more and nothing less."
"So just leave me alone."
The Team Leader looked at me for a moment, then smiled.
"I see."
That was all.
There was no lecture, anger, or coercion.
He simply came over and ate with me, chatting casually whenever it was time for a meal. Whenever I was injured fighting an Abnormality, he wrapped bandages around me with those warm, rough hands.
I think that made me even more irritated. I hated that something so trivial might make me trust him.
Then, one day—
It appeared.
One day at Headquarters, after we had reached the Trial of Dusk.
A clerk died.
And damn it, that fulfilled the condition for Big Bird, which had been on the verge of breaching.
Big Bird escaped.
In the process of suppressing it, Punishing Bird escaped.
And then, due to a lapse in management, Judgement Bird escaped too.
That was how the Apocalypse Bird appeared.
The atmosphere in the Disciplinary Team wasn’t bad at the time.
We had a dependable Team Leader, and the team members were strong too.
I was also a Level 4 employee, about to be promoted to Level 5.
I thought we could defeat the Apocalypse Bird.
At least, until then.
It happened in an instant.
Truly in an instant. There was no way to explain it except with the word misfortune.
The Apocalypse Bird happened to move into the area where I was.
Big Bird’s charm happened to activate.
And out of all those people, I happened to be caught by it.
I walked.
Blankly, without thought, unable to feel anything.
To die.
And when I came to my senses—
It was after someone had shoved me away.
I fell backward.
The Team Leader stood before the Apocalypse Bird. He had run all the way from far away to save me as I walked to my death.
"...Huh?"
In that brief moment—
The Team Leader turned around.
And smiled.
That was the last thing he did.
The Apocalypse Bird’s maw closed.
And the Team Leader was split in half.
"...Why."
My voice shook.
"Why..."
I couldn’t breathe.
"Why did you do that?"
"You..."
"You didn’t have to do that..."
"I..."
"I’ve treated you like such shit all this time..."
"Why..."
Even as he coughed blood, the Team Leader smiled.
"Nova..."
"You see, people..."
"When someone before their eyes is walking to their death, if they can save them, they do."
"...Why."
"Why, you ask?"
The Team Leader smiled faintly.
"A man named Mencius once said this."
"That human nature is originally good."
"People are born good."
"If a child is about to fall into a well, anyone would be startled and rush to them."
"Not because they want praise or seek profit, but simply because they cannot stand by and watch."
"That is the goodness people possess in their hearts from birth."
"I’m... I’m a murderer..."
"So am I."
"Don’t talk as if you’ve never killed anyone."
"I too have committed many sins. Enough that I could never wash them away in my lifetime."
"But still."
"I still believe humans are good by nature."
"Because even people who have committed sins..."
"Hesitate when they see someone dying."
"They suffer when they hear someone cry, and they want to protect someone."
"A person without goodness would not even have such conflicts in the first place."
"I knew."
"That you were only a child carrying many wounds."
"That is why, all the more... you have to live."
"If hatred and wounds have only made you lose your way, then you can still return."
"So..."
"Shouldn’t you live instead of an old man like me?"
"If you survive and leave Lobotomy Corporation..."
"Find someone named Jade Qilin."
"Tell him the Heavenly Star sent you."
"He’ll understand."
"..."
"So... please live your life."
That person died like that.
And then—
Even though he had died, the company did not change.
The Apocalypse Bird was suppressed.
It was separated into three birds and contained once again.
Everything was over.
Except for me.
At first, no one said anything.
It was simply quiet.
Whenever I entered the break room, whatever conversation had been going on stopped.
Whenever we met in the hallway, people’s eyes wavered.
Some tried to comfort me.
Some acted as though nothing had happened.
But I knew.
Or maybe I only believed I knew.
If I hadn’t been there that day.
If I hadn’t been the one caught by the charm.
The Team Leader would have lived.
So even people’s silence—
Even their gazes—felt like resentment directed at me.
Even though no one had actually said such a thing.
Every day, I told myself—
That I should have died instead.
That he should have lived, instead of a Backstreets stray like me.
That was how I gradually crumbled.
My performance declined.
My evaluations scraped the bottom.
Reports piled up.
And eventually, Headquarters transferred me to a W Corp branch that had recently been wrecked by an ALEPH-class Abnormality.
There—
I met new connections.
"Hello?"
A woman I had never seen before waved at me.
"I’m Mir."
"My position is Team Leader of the Safety Team."
"Well."
"Right now, it’s just me and the deputy team leader."
"But a Team Leader is still a Team Leader."
"..."
"Oh?"
"You’ve got the nerve to ignore the Team Leader and glare at her too?"
"...So what?"
"I don’t acknowledge you as my Team Leader."
"Ha."
Mir smiled.
"Then there’s a good way to settle this."
"...?"
"Let’s go to the training room."
"By the way, you can use your E.G.O weapon."
"...Just don’t die. Because I really will kill you."
And then—
I got the absolute shit beaten out of me.
I didn’t land a single shot.
"That can’t be..."
"I... can’t have lost like this..."
"Well."
Mir shrugged.
"A loss is a loss."
"You’ll listen to me properly from now on, got it?"
"..."
"You know."
"I looked into you a little."
"I heard you caused an incident at Headquarters?"
"...That was."
"I know."
Mir nodded.
"It’s common enough."
"Ah... It’s common..."
"Then are you going to throw away the final wish of the person who died in your place?"
"Without doing anything?"
I couldn’t say anything.
"Our team, you see."
"Everyone has a wound or two."
"So we have one goal."
"To make sure there won’t be another us."
"To make sure no one else loses someone and falls apart again."
"..."
"So."
Mir snickered.
"Loosen that expression a little."
"You’ll scare the rookies who come later."
The next day, I... put on a mask.
"Team Leader~"
"...?"
"So~"
"What are you going to do~?"
Mir stared at me for a long while, then said,
"Um..."
"I didn’t expect you to change like this..."
By the way, the look of alarm on her face back then was... kind of cute, I think.
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