"Huff... huff... Next! Which way from here?!"
"Th... turn left, then right after three steps!"
"Okay!!"
We sprinted through the twisted, tangled back alleys, with the pickpocket already on my back, completely exhausted, while I ignored the limits of my own stamina.
"Stop right there, customer!"
"If you stop now, we’ll let you off with just 100 Ultra-Doimas!!!"
"If you don’t like that, then 50 Ultimate Pots!!"
"If even that’s too much, then 10 Super Blenders!!"
Behind us, those so-called instructors were chasing after us with wild eyes, shouting sales pitches from their mouths.
Fortunately, I had that pickpocket, who seemed to know the streets well, so we could keep moving without much trouble. But my stamina was getting dangerously low.
On the other hand, the people behind us seemed to know the roads poorly and were getting lost a lot, but they had endless energy and kept pursuing us doggedly.
"Now! Right!! We’re almost there!!"
"Damn it, what the hell is going on here?!"
I spun on my heel and cut into a side alley.
...! Found it, the exit!
"Damn it, this is finally over...!!!"
"Waiiit!!!"
"Ghk?!"
Just as I was about to burst out of the alley, the pickpocket on my back stopped me cold. Damn it, my shoulder, my shoulder...!!
"Hey, wait, what the hell are you doing...!! Why are you suddenly pressing down on my shoulder without saying anything...!!!"
"No, um, just wait a second. Could you wait a little longer before going out...?"
".......Huh?"
......What the hell is this supposed to mean?
"No, do you not understand the situation right now?! They’re coming from behind us!"
"No, um, still, just a little longer, please....!!"
??????
".........Uh, um... are you perhaps... no, I’m pretty sure there aren’t any fairies here....."
"What are you thinking about?!"
Smack, she hit me on the head. Damn it, that had some bite to it....
"There he is!!"
"Buy 10 Hyper-Ultra Burners!!!"
"If you buy them, we’ll let you off!! And add 50 Gigant Spoons too!!"
......Damn it, they’re already here?!
"No, wait, let go of me, you girl!! Can’t you see they’re coming up behind us?!!"
"So, just a little longer...!! Please trust me just once!!"
"Kek, no, my throat, my throat!! You pickpocket!!!"
No, damn it, why are you making such a fuss just to keep me from getting out?! Damn it?! And there’s something else making a racket outside too...!!
If we get out into a crowd, this is going to be a pain...!! We’ll get shoved around by the people...!!
"So, just let go of this...!!!"
"So please! Just a few more seconds! Ten seconds! Just ten!!"
"No, forget ten seconds and just look behind you, damn it!!"
"Ultra Doima!!"
"Gigant Spoon!!!"
"Ultimate Pot!!!!"
"Super Blender!!!!!"
" " "All together now, the King-God-General-Emperor Cooking Utensil Set!!!!!!!" " " "
"Eeeeeeeeeh?!!!!!!"
They were right there, kicking up dust and clanging their cookware as they ran at us! If they caught us, it would be forced purchase, forced purchase!! We’d be forcibly inducted into a pyramid scheme, I’m telling youuuuu!!!!!
"E-even so, three seconds! Just three seconds left!! Just three more seconds!!!"
"So what the hell is that three seconds supposed to mean...!!"
"3, 2, 1, ding! Now!!"
"Hey, wait?! If you let go here and suddenly shove me...?!"
Before I could even finish speaking, the pickpocket counted three seconds on her own, let go of my neck, and shoved my back, sending my body off balance and tumbling outward.
"Kek, kak?!"
"Ugh?!"
The moment I burst out of the alley, I slammed into something. Unlucky. The feel of it was vaguely like one of the Fang clan...!!
"You bastard!! How dare you act so insolently!!"
"Khk, th-that is...!!"
Damn it, of all things, a hothead?! The Fang clan was already famous for having terrible tempers...!!
I was hauled up by the collar. Looking around, all I could see was the crowd I’d expected and...
"Is something the matter?"
At the center of that crowd stood a noble-looking figure in blue, surrounded by several members of the Fang clan, with a gray mane...
Wait, isn’t that the lord of Oxford...!! The current chief of the Fang clan. Duke Woodworth...!!! So that’s why this crowd had gathered...!!
"Yes! Well, this guy suddenly came bursting out of the alley...!!"
"Hmph. And you make such a fuss over something like that? It is common enough for one to lose sight of the road when running too quickly. Let him go."
"Yes, sir! Consider yourself lucky...."
"Y-yes....!!"
My lifted body was tossed aside without ceremony. Damn, that hurt....!! Still, I’d gotten lucky. If I hurried and bolted with that pickpocket now, I could still escape easily...
"Found them!! They came out!!"
"Buy the King-God-General-Emperor Cooking Utensil Set!!! Buy it now!!!!"
"Hurry!! Sign this contract!!!"
".......Huh?"
With a loud clanging racket, the instructors burst out of the alley. Their eyes looked completely crazed, and one arm each had the pickpocket tucked under it. Panting hard, they shouted at me.
But you people, do you not understand the situation?
"Buy it! Buy it! If you buy just this one thing, I’ll be promoted straight to platinum grade... promoted...!!!"
"Authority...! Wealth...!!! The Hyper Cooking Network pyramid business will suc...!"
"......Who just said pyramid scheme?"
The instructors, who had been babbling without even knowing who was passing by, fell silent at once.
Right after that, with a grim aura, the lord of Oxford stepped forward without even bothering to hide his anger.
"M-my lord, this, this is not what it looks like...!!"
"If not that, then what is it? Are you saying my ears are faulty? That your words slipped out by mistake? Go on, then. Say more."
They seemed to be sputtering out excuses, but they were already on the verge of losing their minds. I could hear the lord grinding his teeth.
"Th, th, that is........."
"Come now, say something. Ah, and come to think of it, was that young man’s frantic dash out of the alley your doing as well?"
"............"
"No answer. Are you too frightened of me to speak, or have I struck the mark?"
The lord’s anger was obvious. His words were calm, almost gentle, but the pressure was completely different. As if he were forcibly suppressing his rage, the fury he could not fully contain leaked out through his entire body.
"Haa... fuu... Hey, take these fools away. I’ll need to question them. And you there, the one collapsed on the ground, come along too."
<<Yes, sir!!>>
"Yes, understood.....!"
Not long after, he suppressed that anger and, with a composed air, gave orders to his attendants and to me.
"W-what happens to us...?"
One terrified instructor forced the words out and asked the lord.
"Do not worry. After a thorough interrogation, if nothing is found, we will send you back. A small amount of compensation will also be paid. But if this pyramid scheme is real..."
The forcibly restrained fury began to pour out of him again from head to toe. A sinister, ominous rage, like the instinct of the Fang clan itself, as though his very reason for being had been insulted.
"You will regret, even in death, ever daring to commit such a thing in this city entrusted to me by Her Majesty...!!!!"
*
After that, everything moved like clockwork.
The instructors, broken by the lord’s fear, spilled everything about the pyramid scheme, and the lord’s troops immediately raided the operation.
They arrested the members at the equivalent of platinum and maximum diamond rank in that world’s terminology and sent them straight to trial.
And in the process, the pickpocket and I, by guiding them through the maze-like back alleys and providing a few testimonies, ended up making a major contribution to the complete takedown of the pyramid scheme operation.
"......I didn’t do anything, and yet my money increased?"
My precarious capital had grown to at least twice what it had been before.
.......So in the end, the pickpocket had been right.
Well, that was fine, but...
".....Why are you still hanging around me...?"
"W-well...?"
" ".................." "
For some reason, I’d ended up with a worker or a piece of luggage attached to me.
Answer me, Capris. What kind of expression am I supposed to make in a situation like this?
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