Chapter 3: Big Brother, a Gentle Touch, and Udon

Eigo stopped petting Pochita.

Then he gave Denji another slow, thorough once-over. Baggy clothes, wrists so thin the bones stood out, and eyes that held no hesitation in calling this warehouse "home."

About... ten years old? And a kid like that is living in a place like this...?

Without a word, Eigo withdrew his hand and rose to his feet. Denji stiffened in surprise, but Eigo gave his head a single pat before looking around the inside of the warehouse.

"Right. Denji, this is your home?"

Denji narrowed his eyes as he answered.

"...Are you deaf? I said this is our home."

"Watch your mouth when you talk to your elder, brat. How old are you?"

"W-Why the hell do you wanna know that...?"

Despite Denji's blunt reply, Eigo merely nodded without any change in expression.

"Fine. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

He simply smiled faintly and laid a hand atop Denji's head as if petting him. At that moment, Pochita bared his teeth and growled at Eigo.

"Easy... You don't need to be so wary, Sausagita. I'm not going to hurt your friend."

Eigo stretched out his other hand and petted Pochita. Then he closed his eyes and focused his senses on the hand resting on Denji's head.

. . .

A rainy alley. The stench of rot. A small body, perhaps only five years old, clutching its empty stomach as it staggered along, on the verge of collapsing....

A life where he was beaten if he stood out, beaten even worse if he ran, and beaten even if he did nothing to draw attention. Days that should have shone brightly for a child held nothing but a cold, dark cycle of violence.

The next scene followed.

The smell of alcohol and blood, and the word "debt." Beyond memories the child had locked away himself, all that had been left to him after an adult's death was a cruelly accumulating string of zeroes.

Ah...

Eigo's brow creased ever so slightly.

The child knew nothing of school. He had no friends and had never imagined tomorrow. All he knew was how to cut down Devils, how to endure hunger, and how to survive today.

Time had flowed on without rest until it reached the present. The child's life amounted to only twelve years.

His past, spanning a time that was by no means short, had always been stained with hunger and pain, and his present was riddled with misfortune. And the future awaiting him....

...Hah.

. . .

After seeing the scene where he sold one of his balls for less than a hundred thousand, Eigo opened his eyes as if he could not bear to watch any further. Without taking his hand off Denji's head, he gently stroked it.

"...I see."

Denji was still glaring at Eigo. He seemed to have no idea what Eigo had done to him.

"What do you mean?"

Eigo did not answer the wary question. Instead, he lowered himself until he was beneath Denji's eye level for a moment, so they could meet each other's gaze.

"I shouldn't have asked. About your age, I mean."

His voice was neither light nor heavy. He merely continued with a calm smile, so Denji would not be afraid of him.

"Denji. Today...."

Eigo looked around the warehouse once more. A worn-out mattress, a blanket full of holes, windows that let the wind whistle right through.

"Could you let me crash here for a night?"

Denji's eyes widened.

"...What?"

"Just for tonight. Like I said before, I don't have anywhere to sleep either. Of course, I won't ask you to put me up for nothing... I'll clean the floor and fix up those windows a little. Oh, right."

Eigo rummaged through the bag he had tossed onto the mattress and took out a rice ball.

"Want to eat this with me?"

Grrrrumble...

Eigo looked at Denji for a moment, startled by the thunderous growl of his stomach.

"What are you looking at...? That wasn't my stomach...."

Eigo looked back and forth between Denji's face and his stomach, then silently took out another rice ball. He unwrapped it, split it in half, and held it out toward Denji.

"Then I guess it was mine. I haven't eaten anything all day, and it's raising hell demanding food. Hahaha."

"..."

Denji glared at the rice ball for a long time, then glanced at Pochita. Pochita nodded as though to say it was all right.

"...Guess so."

After saying that, Denji snatched the rice ball from Eigo's hand as though he were stealing it. One bite, then a second one almost reflexively.

"...It's good."

Eigo said nothing as he quietly watched. He simply waited until Denji had chewed and swallowed every bite of the rice ball.

"You can eat slowly. Nobody's going to take it from you."

The moment Eigo finished speaking, Denji began coughing as if the rice ball had caught in his throat. Pochita pressed close to Denji, wagging his tail anxiously.

"Are you okay?"

Eigo took out a cola, twisted off the cap, and set it in front of Denji.

"I don't have any water... but drink this, at least."

After a brief hesitation, Denji accepted the drink and gulped it down. The sharp carbonation burned as it went down his throat, but Denji did not care at all.

"Make yourself comfortable while you eat. I'm just going outside to take a piss."

*

I stared blankly for a while as the man who called himself my elder walked out of the warehouse.

I looked down at the rice ball left in my hand. There was still about half of it remaining.

...What a weird guy.

People hit me whenever they see me. Saying I should pay back my debt, that I'm a bastard without parents, that I'm filthy.... Everyone I run into comes up with some reason or another to beat me.

Sometimes they hit me just because they were in a bad mood, or even for no reason at all. But that guy hadn't done that.

He didn't hit me or curse at me. Instead, he gave me food. I hugged Pochita.

"...Don't you think that guy's weird?"

Pochita lightly wagged his tail in my arms.

"Woof!"

"I don't know.... I've never been to school or anything... so I don't know what you're supposed to do in a situation like this...."

I took another slow bite of the rice ball. By the time I had nearly finished it, the man who called himself my elder came back.

Afraid he might beat me and demand it back, I hurriedly shoved the rest of the rice ball into my stomach. Fortunately, it did not get stuck in my throat this time.

"What? You're done already?"

"I ate it all. Unless you're gonna kick my stomach and make me puke it up, I-I can't give it back even if you tell me to."

I spoke as forcefully as I could, with a little bravado mixed in, to the man who sat beside me as though nothing had happened. He slowly reached out and placed his hand on my head.

Any second now, that tough fist would slam into my stomach. Or maybe my knees...?

I closed my eyes. Maybe I shouldn't have acted tough.... I didn't want to, but my body trembled on its own at the pain that was coming.

But no matter how much time passed, the pain never came. I wondered if I'd built up some kind of resistance to pain after getting beaten so much, but that wasn't it.

I opened my tightly shut eyes just a crack and looked. The man who called himself my elder wasn't doing anything. He was only stroking my head.

Why did I suddenly think of Mom, who coughed up blood and died because of her heart disease...? Tears welled up in my eyes.

He didn't yell at me, either. He spoke in a gentle voice like Mom's, a voice I had thought had faded so much I'd forgotten it by now.

"Why would I make you throw up something you ate? I gave it to you to eat in the first place. Looking at you eat, Denji, I don't think one rice ball will be anywhere near enough.... Could you close your eyes for a second? I'll show you something amazing. Close them and count to exactly ten."

I squeezed my eyes shut, just as he told me. What was this even for...? Strangely, I couldn't refuse anything this person said.

It wasn't the fear that I'd get hit if I didn't do what he said. If that were it, no matter how scared I was, I'd at least feel the tiniest bit of resistance.

"One... two...."

Even as I counted in my head, I sharpened every sense in my body. I didn't know when a fist might come flying at me.

But I couldn't hear a thing.

"...Six, seven...."

When someone is angry, every single time, their breathing changes first. But I couldn't feel anything like that from him.

"Nine... ten."

"All right, open them."

I cautiously opened my eyes. He was still sitting beside me.

"What? Nothing..."

I was about to kick him and yell, Nothing changed! But my foot froze halfway in the air.

"What...? This delicious smell...."

"Don't just look at me. Look beside you too, little Denji."

With that, he took my head and turned it. My head turned obediently, without any resistance, surprising even me.

"Th-This is...."

"Never seen it before? This is called udon. The one beside it is Pochita... no, sausage. And there's braised potatoes, fish cake, chicken skewers.... I brought everything that looked good. There's dessert, too, so let's eat until we're stuffed today. All right?"

"Why...?"

"Hm?"

"Why... are you... giving me this stuff...? I... don't have any money...."

This wasn't okay.... The tears I had forced myself to swallow once were about to spill out again.

"I... I'm filthy... I stink... I don't have parents... and I have a shitload of debt... They call me... a piece of human trash.... Sniff... I can't... Hic... accept this...."

Once they started flowing, the tears poured out without end, like a broken faucet. I really... shouldn't be doing this....

All at once, I felt something warm. It felt like when I hugged Pochita... but it was different.... It wasn't just my stomach that felt warm... I was warm from head to toe....

"There is no such thing as human trash. If a person is dirty, they can wash and be clean again. When something is within reach, but you don't reach out for it, you end up regretting it so much you could die. I just don't want that. That's all. So it's okay. You can accept it."

Before I knew it, I had wrapped my arms around him. Only then did I realize he was hugging me too.

I had sworn I would never cry again after Mom died.... But I sobbed like a little kid.

Tears and snot ran all over the place.... Pochita, caught between us, carefully licked them away.

Somehow, it didn't feel bad.

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