Chapter 14: Belonging, Apology, and a Business Trip

The hallway was quiet.

More precisely, it was pretending to be quiet.... Sitting on a chair set off to one side, Eigo could hear it all: people’s footsteps, the rustle of documents being turned, telephones ringing in the distance.

The meeting room door was closed. What kind of conversation was taking place inside?

Eigo took out his pocket watch. He opened the cover, then closed it again. He opened it once more, but this time he did not close it.

Time is passing properly, at least.

The second hand moved diligently. Watching it, Eigo took a deep breath for no particular reason.

The air felt awfully rigid.

I really am not suited to places like this.

No one had said anything to him.

No one was staring at him, either.

And yet, his back gradually stiffened. Eigo turned his gaze toward the framed displays on the wall.

Some medals, group photographs. Slogans whose meaning he could not make out.

Responsibility, nation, order. The artificial sight of such pretty, pleasant-sounding words plastered everywhere made nausea rise in his throat.

So he did not look at them for long. He closed his pocket watch again.

Rather than putting it away, he held it in his hand.

Maki is... in there right now.

Inside the meeting room, at a long table. A composed face, an impeccable posture.

She fits right in.

That was his first thought. To fit in meant it suited her.

Eigo lowered his head slightly. Looking at his toes, he stared aimlessly at the pattern on the floor.

He rolled the pocket watch lightly in his hand. The metal slowly warmed as it took in the heat from his palm.

He raised his head and stared briefly at the tightly shut meeting room door. That place was, in a word, a world of obstinacy.

A world of people who assigned meaning to every trivial thing—the way one spoke, the way one looked, even the way one breathed—and loved to seize upon it and tear it apart....

That’s why I prefer the outside. The real world is outside the door they’ve locked so tightly.

He also thought that this spot, waiting before the meeting room, was exactly where he belonged. When he imagined himself going in there and sitting in one of those chairs, a laugh escaped him first.

What kind of face would I even have to make? Sit there all prim and stiff?

Just imagining it made his shoulders ache. Eigo crossed one leg over the other, then set it back down.

Then, someone passing by at the end of the hallway glanced at him. Their eyes met for only an instant, but the contempt in that person’s gaze toward Eigo was unmistakable.

It was the sort of look rich ladies might cast while judging luxury handbags in a department store—one that did not see people as people, but as objects. Eigo had hated that attitude for a very long time.

So he turned his eyes back to the watch. The second hand was still moving steadily.

Time doesn’t lie.

A whisper made of nothing but hands and numbers. He liked its simplicity.

Then, a faint sound leaked out from beyond the meeting room door. He could not tell whether it was chairs being moved or documents being gathered.

It’s over. Finally. People should start coming out soon.

Eigo hurried into the restroom. Standing before the mirror, he fussed with his face from every angle, arranging his expression into something natural—his usual smile.

He could not have a worried expression. He could not look uncomfortable, either.

I was just waiting, that’s all.

Preparing to smile as though nothing had happened when Makima opened the door and came out, Eigo stepped back into the hallway.

Checking his watch and smoothing his bangs, he stared at the firmly closed meeting room door.

Everyone else has already left... and Makima still has a few minutes before she comes out.

Eigo naturally slipped the pocket watch into his breast pocket. He lightly shook both hands as though casting off his tension and let out a breath.

It was fine. Just stand here looking fine.

When the meeting room door opened.... He would greet Makima with a smile, as though nothing had happened.

*

After rising from my seat, I took one more breath at the door before opening it.

"Oh, you’re finally out. Maki, why did you take so long?"

"I was just organizing my thoughts...."

"What’s wrong? What did you hear in there that has you looking so down~?"

"...Shall we talk while we walk?"

Eigo nodded.

"Sure. Let’s do that."

We began walking side by side. After a few steps, I spoke first.

"I’ve been assigned a mission."

"Figured as much. They called a Devil Hunter directly under the Chief Cabinet Secretary to the Cabinet Secretariat. What other reason could there be?"

"They want me to go somewhere called Kiribashi."

"That’s pretty far.... So when are you going?"

"...Tonight."

"So that’s why you’ve looked like that since earlier? You got sent on a business trip that wasn’t even planned."

"I... thought I was managing my expression... was it that obvious...?"

"No. Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed."

At that, my eyebrows twitched ever so slightly.

"I noticed because it’s me. I’m Maki’s one and only friend~!"

Eigo laughed as he put an arm around my shoulders. Hearing his laughter made the corners of my lips rise as well.

Holding tightly to Eigo’s arm and feeling his warmth, I took a breath. As I thought about what I had to tell him now, and anticipated how Eigo would react, the smile that had been on my lips fell away before I knew it.

"So, Eigo...."

"Yeah?"

"You’ll be coming on this business trip too...."

"Of course. Public Safety’s minimum operational unit is a two-person team, right? Then naturally we have to go together."

Those words were closer to an excuse than an explanation.

"Ordinarily, I should be going alone.... But it seems the Cabinet Secretariat has found out you exist too. I don’t know how they found out when no report has even been filed yet...."

At that instant, Eigo stopped dead in his tracks.

"The Cabinet Secretariat... knows about me? How do they know about ‘me’...?"

With that one sentence from Eigo, the air around us froze in an instant. Looking up at him through eyes so unfocused they seemed to be shaking, I—

His face was twisted into a frown, and one eye was covered by his palm. It was an expression he had never once shown me before.

I forced out a voice that trembled violently.

"They probably... don’t know you personally. It seemed they only knew that I, who had only ever used secretaries or attendants until now, had been assigned an official buddy."

Eigo did not respond at all. He still wore that frown, and my chest clenched tight.

"Eigo...? What’s wrong...?"

I could not continue. I knew this feeling—when no voice would come out, when your body shivered uncontrollably....

The feeling I had always known while being raised as a state test subject, the [Humanity Devil] meant to stand against the power of Devils. This feeling was...

I’m scared....

A feeling I had believed I would never experience again after escaping that facility returned, and my body began trembling beyond my control. Tears welled up in my already blurred vision, until I could not see anything at all.

Eigo said nothing for a long time. Beyond the eye he covered with his palm, I could only sense him steadying his breathing.

I could not bear that silence. The thought that I had brought it up wrong—or rather, that I never should have brought it up at all—came crashing in too late.

"I-I’m sorry...."

My voice was weaker than I had expected.

"For springing this on you like this.... Whenever the Cabinet Secretariat called for me, it was only to give me dangerous work... so... I should have told you beforehand too, Eigo...."

I knew I had to keep talking, but the next sentence would not come. If I opened my mouth, it felt as though I would only make an even bigger mess of things.

"S-So please don’t get angry.... Please... don’t scold me...."

Then Eigo slowly lowered his hand. My vision was blurred by tears, so I could not tell what expression he wore, but his voice was no longer sharp like before.

"Maki."

The voice that called my name was low. Astonishingly calm.

"You must have been really startled. It’s okay. I’m not angry."

Then Eigo turned and embraced me.

"It’s just... there’s someone working at the Cabinet Secretariat whom I know... and we have a rather unpleasant relationship. I was only startled because I was worried that person might have gotten information about me...."

With rough, callused fingers, Eigo took my chin and raised it, wiping away the tears gathered in my eyes.

"Other than knowing my friend has a buddy, the Cabinet Secretariat doesn’t know anything, right?"

In my clearing vision, Eigo wore the same warm smile as always. Overwhelmed with relief, I buried my face in his chest and nodded furiously.

I had deployed not only rats and birds, but even insects like gnats and cockroaches, to monitor every Cabinet Secretariat official in real time. They only knew that I had a buddy. No one knew it was Eigo.

"Then it’s fine."

I hugged Eigo tightly. I thought I finally understood the nature of the feeling I had experienced before leaving the meeting room—and the feeling I was experiencing now.

This feeling was...

"I’m sorry... I’m sorry..."

"H-Hey, friend?! I’m really not angry, so..."

No matter what Eigo said, I only kept apologizing.

"Leaving the country so suddenly today too... lying to you too... even being friends with someone like me... all of it...."

"Lying? What are you talking about?"

"I’m sorry... I’m sorry...."

I did not know why. The tears just came.

Eigo had said I could do whatever I wanted in front of him. So I did what I wanted... I cried.

Eigo held me tighter. The tears would not stop under the gentle hand stroking my hair.

"When you say lying... you mean something like a secret you can’t tell me, right? My friend isn’t the type to lie on purpose, so it’s okay. I have secrets I can’t tell too, you know? Even friends don’t share everything. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Someday, when you want to tell me, when you’re ready... I’ll wait until that day comes."

Eigo continued stroking my hair and patting my back. For a while, I could not say anything.

Instead, I tightened my grip on his shirt. It felt like I could not let go.

"...Thank you."

It was the only thing I could finally manage to say after a long while. How much time had passed?

By the time my breathing had settled and my tears no longer flowed, I slowly pulled away from his arms. When I lifted my face, he was still looking at me with warm eyes.

I straightened my posture and recovered my usual expression. One by one, I gathered the emotions disordered by my crying and pressed them back inside.

And through that process, one thought remained very naturally.

...I think I’ll have to deal with the attendant who was monitoring me soon. Did those government bastards really think I wouldn’t know?

Until now, it had been fine. If they merely monitored me—their dog—I could tolerate it.

I was used to it.

But...

They made things difficult for my friend too.

That crossed the line. Looking at Eigo as though nothing were wrong, I spoke.

"Let’s go now. Miss Enonoka will be waiting. We need to prepare for the business trip too."

"Yeah."

Eigo nodded without knowing anything. That unguarded reaction pricked somewhere deep in my chest.

The Control Devil, the Japanese government, the facility, attendants, surveillance, the government’s dog....

I would not let him know. This person did not need to know about such things.

I smiled quietly. Carefully taking his hand, I pressed it to my cheek and rubbed against it.

"My friend is such a spoiled child."

"...No, I’m not."

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