To recall the beginning is to consume regret.
To look at tomorrow is to exhale fear.
*****
Liltotto had enjoyed a relatively leisurely life for the past few years.
Recently, she had been running around like her feet were on fire to prepare for the sudden raid operation, but still...
The Sternritter, who by all rights should have been busier than anyone under the Emperor’s direct command, were instead—or rather, as they always did—just living their lives.
By that, I mean they were all playing, eating, sleeping, and shitting exactly as they pleased.
In the first place, even if these morons tried their best, their shattered social skills and fragmented leadership would only lead to them fighting each other or making their subordinates' lives a living hell.
The losses would far, far outweigh the gains.
Knowing this, the Grandmaster Haschwalth and Quilge were the ones working themselves to the bone in silence...
Or perhaps only the perfectionist fanatics like Äs Nödt or Lille were putting in any real effort.
Of course, in an actual battle, they would all be of one mind and soul in slaughtering the Soul Reapers.
Hmm.
I’ve strayed a bit off-topic, but anyway, Liltotto herself, as well as the other female Quincies, were feeling a sense of ease.
And ninety percent of that was due to not being on the receiving end of Bambietta’s hysterics.
Bambietta Basterbine... she was a woman who was like a truly angry chihuahua.
Annoyed every single day. One moment she’d be in a decent mood, and the next, if even one little thing went wrong, she’d blow things up and break them. And then she’d get angry at us all over again.
Candice had a fierce personality, so they’d fight; Meninas was naturally emotionless; and Giselle was just a complete airhead.
Even if she didn't show it, Liltotto had been inwardly piling up stress.
But in the end, according to the law of the jungle in this society, she was in a position where she didn't really have the right to refuse... that was her lot in life.
It sounds a bit miserable when I put it like that.
Then one day, when Bambietta snatched up a man because she was "annoyed," Liltotto genuinely wondered if the girl had finally lost her mind.
She took a Soldat away as a vent for her anger, claiming the guy had looked at her the wrong way...
The guy was wearing a mask, so you couldn't even tell where he was looking. It was obvious she just took him to blow off steam.
Honestly, Liltotto didn't care if she killed a regular Soldat—someone not even on the level of a Sternritter—or did whatever else to him to vent.
She figured that if killing a single grunt they had no camaraderie with would reduce the hysterics, it was a net gain.
It was the first time Bambietta had used a human as a vent, but... well, what did it matter?
'Is she going to sleep with him and then kill him? Knowing her, she might even torture him.'
While Liltotto was killing time with such trivial thoughts, she saw the guy who had been dragged away earlier walking out of the room perfectly fine.
She wondered if Bambi had actually managed to hold back, but knowing that was impossible, she kept watching.
Nothing much happened after that.
Whether they’d shared a meal inside or just hit it off, the two of them somehow stuck together from then on. Actually, it was more like the Soldat was constantly following her around.
However, after that, Bambi’s personality gradually softened, and as the time she spent with the guy increased, the rest of us became free.
Satisfied with having a personal butler who only looked at her, she now roams around here and there with only that fellow in tow.
I don't know if he's just a good kiss-ass or if he's good at sucking other things, but regardless, the guy has had a positive influence on us too.
Feeling like I was watching a commendable child, I'd strike up a conversation whenever I passed by, and just like Gremmy, I was able to get snacks out of him.
He was even more commendable for that.
Well.
So.
What I'm trying to say is...
I'm living a damn comfortable life right now.
*****
"Hmm..."
"What are you doing?"
"I just felt like someone was talking about me."
Suddenly feeling an itch in his ear, he tries to stick his pinky in, but he's blocked by the stuffy material of his mask.
Instead of the relief of reaching his ear canal, he only feels the dull, thudding sensation of the solid mask.
He feels a pathetic gaze directed at him from the front.
"Want me to blow a hole in it for you?"
"No. If you do that, half my head will disappear along with it."
He moves his hand away from his ear and scratches the back of his head. He feels no sensation through the fabric.
"I feel like I just heard a very disorganized and scattered evaluation of myself."
"That's unusually specific. Whatever, you're done, right?"
"Ah, yes. Good work today."
Inside Bambietta’s room, he had stubbornly come to explain the key personnel of the Gotei 13 and the outline of the operation to her.
He was certain she wouldn't read it otherwise, and it was clear that her getting hurt due to a lack of information was something he wouldn't welcome at all.
Even with his somewhat lacking emotions, he could tell that much for sure.
Of course, no one stopped to consider the serious and weighty implications of a large man entering an adult woman's bedroom.
"Ugh, what a pain. I told you I can wipe them all out even without this stuff. Do you not trust me?"
"The point is to prevent any unforeseen variables. It's all because I'm worried about you, Miss Bambietta."
"...Hmph."
Bambietta pouts her lips and glares, expressing her dissatisfaction.
"You've been getting cocky lately. You used to be so sharp and attentive. You've gone soft."
At Bambietta’s words, he simply shrugged his shoulders casually. To him, such an evaluation meant he had become more flexible than before. It was nothing but good news.
However, from Bambietta’s perspective, his slick attitude didn't seem to sit well with her, as she continued to pout.
"I feel like you're starting to resemble that sly guy more and more. Hmm?"
"That sounds quite fatal."
"Ah, how annoying."
She exaggeratedly moves her hands behind her neck to strike a pose. With a soft sound, her head tilts back, revealing a slender neckline without an Adam's apple.
The thought suddenly occurs to him that she is quite alluring.
"Listen, you. Find your original intention."
"...My original intention?"
"Yeah, your roots."
Hmm.
Original intention.
My roots.
What was my beginning like again?
*****
For a moment. Just for a brief moment.
He looks back at the past.
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