What kind of creature is a man?
First, they can be defined by a few distinct characteristics.
One: Their way of thinking is extremely simple.
This doesn't mean they are stupid or short-sighted.
In fact, regardless of personality, many are highly intelligent.
It’s more like this: even if they stub their toe, if they manage to flip a plastic bottle and make it land upright on the first try, they completely forget the pain in their foot.
This is a concept entirely different from simply being in a better mood.
Two: They go crazy for things that are shiny, sleek, and especially big.
Just look at a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur robot.
Three: Regardless of age, their intelligence is inversely proportional to the number of men gathered in one place.
Indeed.
Opinions may vary from person to person, but most would agree on the general framework.
And Bambietta was currently witnessing a scene where these characteristics were on full display.
"We'll hang a massive banner from the window frame! Write 'CONGRATS) Lord Jugram Haschwalth's Birthday! (CELEBRATION' in huge letters!"
"Can we add comments on the side?!"
"Limit of five characters per person!"
"What shape should the cake be?!"
"One normal-sized one to smash into his face! And one massive one for us to eat!"
"Let's put a plastic model inside the big cake! How about a Tyrannosaurus Rex!"
"Let's put a glowing Mecha Godzilla in there!"
"Put Excalibur in it and embed a real rock at the bottom!"
"How about we get those mustache glasses but with actual prescription lenses?!"
"Nice shot, Boss!"
"...Wow."
Bambietta could say with absolute certainty that she had never seen such a dizzying sight in her entire life.
Not that she ever wanted to.
The feeling that every single sentence should end with an exclamation mark... well, it certainly conveyed their passion.
It hadn't been this bad at first, but the atmosphere was accelerating as if someone had slammed their foot on the gas pedal.
"So, unity among the Sternritter actually was possible."
"I guess so..."
Even setting aside the absurdity, it was a surprising sight.
Up until now—and likely into the future—she had thought the members of this knighthood were capable of nothing but mutual suspicion and hostility.
To see them acting like this, like friends who had known each other for a very long time...
It was truly strange.
But it wasn't bad.
And then there was the mastermind behind this whole situation.
Her Soldat was watching everything like a shadowy puppet master... or not.
"Then how about a Tyrannosaurus Rex pulling out a glowing mechanical Excalibur that transforms into Mecha Godzilla? I've already drawn up the blueprints."
"This guy's got talent!"
"Let's go with that!"
"Hehe."
I don't even know anymore.
As long as they're having fun.
*****
30 minutes ago.
"What?"
A man with an impressive red mohawk.
Schrift H, Bazz-B.
A Soldat had approached him.
Strictly speaking, he wasn't meeting Bazz-B alone.
They were in the common area for the Sternritter.
A marble meeting room with a long table.
In fact, because of its massive scale, it was treated more like a plaza within Silbern than a mere meeting room.
Because of that, people could sit and rest or wander around as if they were taking a stroll in a park.
The point was that there were many other Sternritter present besides the two of them.
And the Soldat's voice wasn't particularly low, as if he wanted everyone to hear.
"So, you want me to play along with this prank of yours?"
"If you are asking about your willingness to participate, Lord Bazz-B, then yes."
"Haha! This guy's a riot."
Clatter!
The chair fell backward from the force of Bazz-B standing up roughly.
He lowered his head, placing a hand on his forehead as he chuckled darkly.
"Wow... do I look like a joke to you? A mere nobody like you dares to say that to me?"
Tap.
He placed his index finger right between the eyes of the Soldat's mask.
The arrow-shaped pattern on his glove was visible right at the fingertip.
"Have you forgotten your place just because you've been hanging around a Ritter lately?"
"Get your finger off him, Bazz-B."
"Heh."
Bambietta countered, her legs crossed.
She tapped her ankle irritably, making her displeasure clear.
"You look like you're ready to give him your heart and soul, Basterbine. Has he completely wrapped you around his finger?"
"If you don't lower that hand right now, you'll never be able to use those precious fingers of yours again."
"Whoa. Scary."
Their gazes locked, sparks practically flying between them.
The atmosphere felt like a powder keg on the verge of exploding.
"I apologize."
"What?"
"That was not my intention, but if you felt that way, Lord Bazz-B, then it is my mistake."
The Soldat bowed his head without hesitation.
"...Hey."
"I also apologize to Lady Bambietta for causing you discomfort."
"Sigh..."
Bambietta eventually turned her head away, resting her chin on the hand she had placed on the table.
'Why did he ask me for a favor like this?'
A little while ago, before arriving at the meeting room, Nachahmer had asked her for one thing.
To help persuade any Sternritter who might object to the proposal he was about to make.
Of course, it wasn't exactly persuasion through words, but she had taken his side, so that was that.
'What kind of proposal is it that you need that?'
'I will tell you later. More importantly, are you really okay with this?'
'Who do you think I am? Of course I can handle that much. But who is this proposal for?'
'It is a proposal for all Quincies, but before that, it is for me, and above all, it is for you, Lady Bambietta. As it has always been.'
'This should be enough.'
She definitely hadn't agreed to it on a whim just because she was charmed by those last words.
"What kind of nonsense is this?"
"I heard that you and Grandmaster Haschwalth are childhood friends, Lord Bazz-B."
"Look at this guy changing the subject. So?"
"If that is the case, I dare to assume you understand the Grandmaster's responsibilities and fatigue better than anyone else."
"...Now I'm curious. Keep talking."
Bazz-B relaxed his stance and shoved his hands into his pockets.
He stood with his weight on one leg, revealing his naturally rebellious attitude.
At the very least, he seemed willing to listen.
"For over 900 years, the Grandmaster has been devoted to his duties without a single day of rest. Of course, being the thorough man he is, he must be managing himself.
However, no matter how flawless a person is, repeating labor for such a long time without a holiday is bound to leave a trace of accumulated stress, wouldn't you agree?"
"..."
Jugram Haschwalth and Bazz-B.
The most senior members who had been part of the Wandenreich since the era of the first blood war a thousand years ago.
And famous childhood friends who had spent more time together than anyone else since they were young.
Even if they didn't 'look' very close now due to their social positions or changed personalities.
Nachahmer could tell.
Even if he wasn't sure about Haschwalth, Bazz-B still considered his old friend closer than anyone else here.
Haschwalth probably felt the same... although Nachahmer hadn't seen him in person yet.
In fact, this was the primary goal of this proposal.
To see Haschwalth in person.
However, simply going to find him carried the risk of having his intentions read, so he had sought an indirect method.
And among those methods, friendship was particularly effective, alongside love.
"In short, you want to give him a surprise to help him blow off some steam?"
"In terms of format, yes."
"What the... I don't even know where to start nitpicking this."
Bazz-B, who had been listening quietly, scratched the back of his neck as if it were a hassle.
"That guy wouldn't even want something like that. He'd just go on and on about how ordinary Ritters shouldn't approach the Grandmaster for personal reasons and blah blah blah.
It was a decent idea. I can see your head is full of sunshine and rainbows."
Just as he was about to turn around as if he'd said all he had to say.
"Why? I think it sounds okay."
"...Nakk Le Vaar."
An ally appeared from a completely unexpected direction.
"Why the hell are you agreeing with this? Don't tell me you're in league with this guy too?"
"No way. I just heard it for the first time too."
Askin's slick response was just like his usual self.
He waved his hands around, using body language to proclaim his innocence.
"You know what drives me is always 'curiosity.'"
"Don't you know curiosity killed the cat?"
"If I die knowing something, being a cat wouldn't be so bad."
He chuckled.
"Well, our Grandmaster is always so stiff. I just want to see a different side of him, you know?"
'This guy...'
It probably wasn't as simple as he made it sound.
He was a man who constantly looked for ways to survive every single moment.
Haschwalth always lived with almost the exact same routine, so he rarely encountered any external stimuli.
In other words, the rest of his facets were invisible, like the dark side of the moon.
'He's probably trying to figure out Jugo a bit more. Since he didn't initiate it, he won't be held responsible. It's a 'if I gain something, great; if not, whatever' kind of deal.'
But did it matter?
If Bazz-B didn't agree, it wouldn't happen anyway...
"Hmhaha! That sounds like it would be truly fun!"
"?"
Schrift S, Mask De Masculine.
And the small boy who followed him, James.
"It would be the perfect stage for a Superstar to shine! Isn't it, James?"
"Yes, Superstar!"
'These crazy bastards.'
The ones who truly didn't think things through had finally appeared.
This guy was someone whose inside and outside were creepily identical, plans be damned.
"...I think it's okay too?"
"Hahaha! Something interesting is happening!"
"Whoaaa, sumthin' fun is goin' down!"
Nanana Najahkoop, Gerard Valkyrie, and even Nianzol Weizol.
Besides them, various others were starting to gather, drawn by the commotion.
'Damn it. Things are getting messy.'
The number of people agreeing was growing.
Did that Soldat plan for this by speaking in the meeting room from the start?
"Have you all collectively lost your minds?"
"Gwahahaha! Still, wouldn't it be nice to get one over on that guy Haschwalth like this?"
"Berci..."
This was bad.
The momentum was building.
"Lord Bazz-B."
"You bastard... were you aiming for this from the beginning?"
"I will not deny it. However, my concern for the friendship between you two is also sincere."
"You dare to judge Jugo and me?"
"No. It is just that I know the feeling of wanting to lighten the burden of a precious person even a little when they are carrying it all alone."
"You do?"
"Yes."
For a very brief moment, the Soldat's eyes moved.
It was as if they were reflecting a head of purple hair.
"...Because I am also doing my best to help in my own way."
"Sigh..."
It was a pathetic sight, really.
But this guy was truly sincere.
'Hey, Bazz. Can I become like you someday?'
'Why are you asking something so obvious, you idiot! I'm going to be the best until the day I die!'
'Oh... then I'll be...'
'I'm number one, and you're number two! ...No, I'll give you up to 1.5. You'll always be right there with me!'
'Yeah! Bazz!'
"..."
They were useless memories that had rotted away long ago.
Yet, memories labeled as 'nostalgia' always submerged him in the past without warning.
"...I'll give you one piece of advice: your head really is full of sunshine. Fix it soon."
"Thank you for the advice."
"Good grief."
He felt mentally and physically exhausted just from talking.
He straightened his back and stretched to clear his mind.
"Fine, let's do it! Let's throw a surprise party for that guy Jugo!"
"Let's go!"
"Gwahahaha! This is gonna be fun!"
*****
And then what happened?
Since those meatheads were huddled together whispering, others got curious and approached.
Even the other girls and stiff guys like Cang Du came over to see what was going on.
They probably all gathered around to hear the briefing on the plan that guy had come up with.
He'd only called it a surprise in general terms, so there were no concrete details yet.
And then.
"For Haschwalth's birthday, we're going to cover his entire room in pink?"
"Yes."
"And then we're going to put mustache glasses on him and smash a cream cake into his face?"
"Exactly."
"Gwahahahaha!!"
Even Bazz-B, who had been so violently opposed at first, got swept up in the mood and became excited.
After they literally buried Cang Du, who was the only one still objecting, things turned out like this.
Is this how a two-eyed man feels in a village of the three-eyed?
"Let's decorate it with strawberries!"
"Who the hell suggested strawberries like some little girl!"
"My mom used to like them."
"...Sorry."
Well, if he planned it, there must be a reason.
Especially the part about it being for her—that definitely wasn't a lie.
Her past self wouldn't have accepted it, but now she took it as a given.
He would never lie to her, and he always put her first.
She was convinced of it, without a single shred of doubt.
To the point where she didn't even realize it herself.
But really.
'Why on earth did he start this?'
"Let's put something inside the cake we're throwing too!"
"Like what?!"
"I don't know, damn it!"
Oh, I don't know anymore.
It's too tiring to even think about.
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