-Previously on-
Bambietta encounters a Soldat in Hueco Mundo.
At first, she is hostile, but soon she begins to take an interest in him.
Then comes her explosive declaration:
"Come to my room. I need to relieve myself."
As expected of the original bombshell herself, born to blow things up!
Her shameless words turn the Wandenreich completely upside down.
What, exactly, will the two of them do in that room?
Where will the split go?
Can this novel, which hasn’t even reached twenty chapters yet, really deliver an adults-only episode?
The full-on Bleach-style romance-fantasy-slice-of-life-healing-pure-love-growth-munchkin-action-noir novel, The Inadequate Quincy!
Can you guess how this ends?
*****
"I can’t tell..."
Phaaaah—
Liltotto let out a long, tightly compressed breath.
The air that followed it was so heavy it sank to the floor, nothing like a sigh.
It had been ten minutes since Bambietta dragged that guy into her room.
Not a sound came from inside. It was so quiet it felt dead.
They seemed to be talking about something, but what Liltotto really wanted to know was whether they were also doing something else.
"Candy, Candy, you got any idea what’s going on?"
"What are you talking about?"
Giselle kept jabbing Candice in the side.
"No, I mean, Candice is always hooking men so easily. You must be used to situations like this."
"Wha—! Do you think I just spread myself around to anyone?"
"Come on, that’s exactly right. Why are you getting mad? Did I hit a nerve?"
Giselle was casually needling the irate Candice.
Then again, from the front or the side, even if you rolled forward and spun your trunk around ten times, Candice was the very picture of a bitch on the outside.
She’d modified her uniform to bare her stomach and the sides of her chest, tying it up so tightly it was practically a halter top.
Her lower half was cut like dolphin shorts, exposing her thighs and hips.
She insisted, in her own way, that she had her own standards and principles, but that was nothing more than an ugly excuse from a failed trinity.
Of course, there was no way to know whether she was actually experienced or not.
Anyway, while Schrödinger’s virgin and the sociopathic trans lesbian were locked in their own little battle of wills, Liltotto and Meninas quietly watched the door.
"...Meninas."
After a long internal debate, Liltotto called out to Meninas, the only remaining hope among the women.
"What do you think those two are doing right now?"
"Hmm... If it’s what Bambietta said earlier, maybe they’re doing something sexual?"
"...Yeah, probably."
Honestly, if you thought about it normally, there wasn’t any other answer.
When an adult woman points at an adult man and uses the words "relieve myself," who would think of anything innocent or childlike?
Besides, this was a hierarchy-based society.
Vertical power dynamics encouraged coercion and intimidation.
If those two were characters in some ongoing shonen manga, they’d probably try to wriggle out of the situation by saying something like:
"So the desire you mentioned was a wholesome, heartfelt expression of wanting a closer relationship with me as a friend! I mustn’t misunderstand!"
But reality was always different from fiction.
They weren’t clueless little kids. There was no way they didn’t know how that expression would sound to someone else.
So from here on out, the only question was how to dispose of that Soldat’s body—or, if they were lucky, the poor bastard’s shattered mind.
"I bet she’ll fuck him to death. Or maybe torture him, knowing her personality."
Given Bambietta’s simple way of thinking and her vocabulary, it would probably be exactly what it sounded like: sheer irritation.
"...But, Liltotto."
"Yeah?"
After a moment of silence, Meninas spoke.
"It’s a really small chance, but maybe Bambietta really is just talking to him, and he’ll come out perfectly fine?"
"Meninas. Are you seriously saying that?"
Liltotto had thought Meninas was the one making the most normal judgment calls.
Was this a case where the software needed a forceful physical update? Was there truly no hope here?
"If you wrote a novel like that, the author would get cursed out from every direction. Even if it were a virgin writing it, it’d still be better than that."
"Yeah... I guess so."
Not "I guess so." It was obvious.
Creeeak. The hinges of the door opened.
Was it already over?
"All right. Time to rock-paper-scissors for who handles the body..."
Liltotto, who had just pushed herself off the wall, froze.
Right ahead of them.
That very Soldat from earlier was walking out perfectly fine.
"No, what the hell is this...?"
Did she really do it and then let him go unharmed?
But only ten minutes had passed.
Was that guy a quick one?
Everyone must have looked completely stunned.
Liltotto didn’t need to turn around to know that.
"Oh? What’s going on here? Why are you all gathered up like that?"
From down the hall, Askin, Cang Du, and Nanana came walking over.
The mood on both sides was wildly out of sync.
"What’s this? Did the girls find something fun to do or... oh, wow."
The men who followed the women’s gaze all had the same reaction.
"What an absolutely lethal situation."
Askin’s sly eyebrows twitched.
Not once, but several times.
Twitch, twitch.
"Wow, you girls were watching this all by yourselves? Can we get a commentary replay too?"
Nanana sneered, showing off teeth painted like piano keys.
His hair, tied up in a star shape, swayed as he laughed.
Askin and Nanana were usually the type to seem fairly restrained and flexible, easy to get along with across the board.
But when an opportunity this outrageous came along to see the women completely lose their composure, they weren’t about to miss it.
"...Basterbine is an adult. It’s only natural she should have some degree of self-determination."
Only Cang Du spoke with a serious expression.
"However, to be eavesdropping as a group, even if it is outside the room... That’s no different from voyeurism. It lowers the dignity of the Quincy..."
"Shut up, you pervert. I’m confused right now."
Of course, to Liltotto at that moment, it was all just bullshit.
*****
Liltotto questioned Einsamer Nachahmer’s sexual function and Bambietta’s common sense.
And after Cang Du—no, that pervert—went gloomy, and Askin’s eyebrows twitched in that deadly way,
the Sternritter were able to see a strange Soldat trailing after Bambietta.
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