…I don’t know how long I ran.
Run.
Run.
Run.
Fall.
Then get back up and run again.
It was nothing but an endless continuation of running and running.
Where am I?
What time is it?
How far have I come?
How much time has passed?
I don’t know any of it. I just keep running.
Only because I have the will to keep away from humans.
Only because I’m too weak to want to kill or eat humans.
Because I hate it. Because of that resentment.
Because it hurts. Because of pain, and I can’t even tell whether it’s on the outside or the inside.
Because I hate myself so much I want to kill myself. Because of that hatred.
Because I despise the ugly monster that is me. Because of that feeling.
…In the end, it was the miserable soul of someone who had accepted that he was not human.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
Why am I a monster?
Why am I such an ugly existence?
Warmth.
I need warmth.
I want warmth.
Even if I have to bathe in blood to get it.
…I’m cold.
My body is moving, so I shouldn’t be cold.
Why is that?
I hate everything.
So.
Why did I kill them?
Why did I eat them?
Why?
Why?
Stop.
Stop it.
I don’t want to hurt anyone.
I don’t want to kill anyone.
I don’t want to eat anyone.
I hate it.
I hate all of it.
Everything…
…Die.
Die, all of you.
I’ll kill you.
I’ll tear you all apart.
I’ll rip out your organs and crush them.
Yes.
So.
Chew through their skulls.
Tear off their arms and legs.
Rip out their hearts.
Split their bellies open.
Separate their necks from their bodies.
Pluck out their eyes.
And then…
…As if I would.
Even if I can’t become human.
Even if I’m a monster.
I won’t become a beast.
That much.
That much, I’ll deny to the very end, and deny again, and deny again.
Yes.
I am not human.
I’ve clearly given up on that.
But.
At the very least, I don’t want to become any closer to a monster on the inside.
No matter how ugly I become from here on out, I swear I won’t become a creature that goes mad with slaughter against humans.
That much.
Absolutely not.
I…
Thud.
“………Ah.”
I pitched forward and slammed my head into the roots of a tree in front of me.
…Ow.
Did my head start bleeding?
Or at least, did I get a bump?
That hurts like hell.
…But get up.
I try to push myself up with both arms right away… but I can’t.
My legs are shaking.
I can’t get any strength into them.
My vision is blurry.
My hands are trembling violently.
My breathing is ragged.
Every scale on my body is slick with sweat.
“………….”
Right.
Only when my legs finally gave out could I stop.
The AP shown in my status had already dropped into the single digits.
So that’s it.
I was exhausted.
Even while I was agonizing over everything, I hadn’t even noticed the condition of my own body.
It wasn’t even funny. A dry laugh escaped me instead.
The moisture at the corners of my eyes had long since dried into a sticky crust.
The moonlight shining on this pitiful monster only looked indifferent.
…How did I get through the night?
I stare blankly as the sun rises from beyond the hill.
I didn’t sleep a single moment. I stayed awake the entire night with my eyes open.
Going into the mountain was the worst choice I could have made.
Thinking back, I leaned against the tree I’d smashed my head into.
The drain on my stamina was too severe.
I was exhausted both mentally and physically.
It made sense that I’d get sleepy.
But it didn’t take long to realize that if I did, I was finished.
Because this mountain I’d run and run into was crawling with starving monsters.
Whenever I let my head dip even a little, as if I were nodding off, rustling sounds would rise around me as if they were waiting for it.
They were different from the monsters I’d met before.
Setting aside the difference in strength.
Even their appearances were different.
They were like perfect specimens of the inhuman wild, with not even a trace of human form left in them.
At the sounds of them tearing, ripping, devouring, and being devoured, it was impossible to sleep peacefully.
Then, as the rolling light of the sun began to appear from beyond the hill, the monsters’ noises one by one faded away… until at last they all disappeared.
Maybe they were nocturnal?
Anyway, I survived the whole night without dying.
…Maybe I had calmed down a little too, after all the confusion. More or less.
“…Grrrr…”
Staring at the sun, I stretch both arms high over my head.
As the brightness of the sunlight wrapped around my whole body, my mood seemed to brighten with it.
…Nothing about this filthy, ugly reality had changed.
I’d stayed awake all night, and that only confirmed once again that this was definitely not a nightmare.
And yet I still feel good.
Maybe it’s because I’m so exhausted that my mind has gone blank and I can’t think about anything.
…Just a little longer like this.
A little longer in this warmth.
For now, nothing bad will happen…
Ding.
[Daily Quest: Eat one monster within 24 hours (0/1)]
[Reward: +10 distributable points, full stat recovery]
[Failure: Death.]
…Ah.
Damn it.
What the hell is this now?
The new thing that appeared in the blue rectangle sent the warm feeling I’d been wrapped in crashing straight down into the abyss.
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