...The reflection in the puddle could be defined in a single word.
It was a monster.
Limbs covered in scales.
Sharp vertical pupils, the kind reptiles had.
A forked tongue.
A long tail.
A wide mouth packed with large, sharp teeth.
And a thick lizard’s head to go with it.
And yet, as if mixed with human features, it stood hunched over on two legs.
I was...
...such an ugly monster.
Come to think of it, it had been strange from the start.
My field of vision had been unnaturally high.
The feel of the air against my skin—no, scales now, I supposed—was different too.
More than anything... there was one huge difference.
...I simply could not call myself human.
Only then did I stop denying myself.
Trying any harder would only make me miserable.
No matter how much I denied it, reality wouldn’t change.
I was still a monster.
And so I had to eat humans...
“...Guh... buhp.”
I had no intention of squeezing out my already empty stomach and wringing it dry.
I clamped a hand over my mouth and forced the digestive fluid that had risen back down my throat.
“...Phew, haa... haa... haa... haa...”
I had no intention of claiming I was innocent.
I had clearly done evil.
I had mercilessly killed a life that had been desperately begging for its own.
...No.
But.
Thinking about it that way would never end.
People caged livestock, fattened them up, then slaughtered them once they were ready.
They hauled in nets and massacred fish by the thousands.
They cut down trees and cleared away forests.
That was what humans did.
As humans did.
Why was it a sin for me to eat nothing more than “food”?
......No.
Don’t rationalize it like that.
I’m human.
I...
...What a pathetic excuse.
I’d just sworn I’d stop denying myself, and now I was doing this. That wasn’t right.
If I denied that I was a monster, my identity would only sink into chaos once again.
And if someday I saw something that reflected my appearance... I would have to deny it all over again...
“...............”
Suddenly, a closed shop caught my eye.
No, more precisely, what was reflected in the shop’s glass wall caught my eye.
A hideously ugly lizard monster.
Yes.
That was me.
How long had it been since I resolved to deny myself?
How many seconds?
Probably about 37 seconds.
...Pathetic.
At this rate, at this rate...
This wasn’t going to work.
I couldn’t rationalize it.
I couldn’t rationalize what I had done.
If I accepted myself as a monster, I would end up rationalizing my evil deeds.
Only if I saw myself as human could I acknowledge and accept my sins.
The terrible contradiction was that I could only admit my wrongdoing if I denied myself.
...My thoughts had become tangled.
I started walking aimlessly somewhere.
Destination? None.
I just kept walking and walking, with no direction in mind.
...Come to think of it, my body felt strangely light compared to before.
I wasn’t completely unhurt. But for some reason, most of the wounds had healed so quickly they’d left no trace at all.
Before I could even marvel at it, I had to stop dead in my tracks.
Where I’d walked to was the front of another shop.
Why?
The glass was simply reflecting my ugly form again.
...
...
...Then, all at once, a faint blue color began to appear before my eyes.
A rectangle... something like that.
There was writing on it.
Maybe... “Loading”?
Loading what?
No, what even was this in the first place?
While I was thinking that,
Ding.
[Main Quest (NEW): Acknowledge Your Identity as a Monster (0/1). Time Limit: (0/100) hours]
[Reward: Full stat recovery, 40 additional distributable points]
...new text appeared inside the blue rectangle.
And at the same time.
[Failure: Death.]
...Death?
Are you kidding me? Out of nowhere?
Setting aside how sudden the words were on that inexplicable blue rectangle, the coercion was far too strong.
And it wasn’t even believable.
And besides.
To tell someone who was desperate to deny their own identity to acknowledge it...
...Let’s ignore it.
Ignoring it was the answer.
But... for some reason, a strange, subtle sensation began to creep in.
Maybe this was intuition.
For some reason, if I ignored it, I felt like I’d never see a good end to it.
No proof at all, but that was the feeling.
“........”
In the end, I started walking again without purpose.
In the end, I’d stop in front of another glass window and stiffen up after seeing my own ugly reflection again.
Still, for some reason, it felt like that was what I had to do.
That was all.
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