Chapter 1: Daily Life

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"Then I’ll see you again in a month. Don’t skip your medication—take it every day, and be sure to let me know if you have any side effects."

"Yes, doctor. Thank you..."

When I came out with my prescription in hand, the weather was still bright and clear, and people bustled about all around me.

I stood there for a moment, blankly watching them.

Couples passed by laughing together, as though they had so much to be happy about. A man hurried down the street while taking a phone call.

An older man sitting on a nearby bench frowned at his smartphone...

"Damn! I shouldn’t have sold those XX stocks!"

His words snapped me out of my daze, and I hurried on my way.

"Sigh... Here we go again. I should buy some water at a convenience store nearby and take my medicine quickly."

When I was little, I was terribly timid.

Though I wasn’t sure whether timid was the right word, or whether it was more like shyness.

Unfamiliar places frightened me, especially spaces where people gathered, like classrooms.

It was even worse if class had already started.

The moment I opened the door and walked in, it felt as if everyone’s eyes would turn toward me. There were times when I ended up hiding in the bathroom, waiting for class to end.

I thought that once I became an adult, I would naturally grow braver and be able to work through things.

"What good did that do? All I’ve gained are more ways to get by. Nothing’s actually changed."

I somehow endured both school and the military.

I thought things would get better with time.

But nothing had changed.

Then, as I went through my daily life, I happened to watch a video about mental health on 0Tube.

Thinking, Could it be?, I went in for counseling just to see...

"Adult ADHD, anxiety disorder, depression. Was I really this sick...?"

It was pathetic to learn that illnesses I never thought had anything to do with me were actually affecting me.

At the same time, a part of me felt relieved to know that I wasn’t simply strange—that I had an illness.

It was a feeling that was difficult to put into words.

I hurried into a convenience store, bought some water, then came out and sat on a bench in a nearby park.

As I naturally searched my phone for some peaceful music, I spotted and played a Clannad BGM.

"I think the best thing is to just sit here blankly, listening to peaceful BGM in this bright weather."

I think moments like this make me happy.

For a little while, my anxious feelings and worries about the future faded away.

As I listened to the BGM, I recalled scenes from the anime.

Before I knew it, I would be lost in fantasy.

When I was anxious or having a hard time, there was no better rest for me than this.

"Whew..."

After taking my medicine with the water I had bought at the convenience store, I felt a little more focused, as if I could hear sounds more clearly.

Was this the placebo effect?

Either way, since it seemed like the medicine was helping a little, it made me realize that I really did have something wrong with me.

Glancing down at my phone, I noticed the BGM title, [Shining in the Sky].

It was the perfect song for this bright weather.

"Ah... I want to just stare blankly at the cherry blossoms in the town from Clannad, without thinking about anything."

If there was something I wished for, it would be to have a picnic in one of those beautiful backgrounds from an anime I remembered, even if it was only in a dream...

No, not even a picnic. If I could just sit there and watch the protagonists, I might be able to live through that day with a little more strength.

"To think I’m still having thoughts like this at my age. When exactly am I going to become an adult...?"

After a few songs had passed, how many minutes had I been sitting there?

I was starting to sweat.

I had gone to the hospital today and picked up my medicine, and I didn’t want to worry about anything else anymore.

I should hurry home, watch some anime or lie down, and recharge for a while.

I had work tomorrow, after all.

Ah, just thinking about work was enough to sour the mood I had only just managed to improve.

I shook my head, trying to push away the chain of thoughts that kept leading into one another.

Just as I looked at my screen to turn off the music.

[Would you like to install the Leisure Life App?]

I must have gotten weird after taking my medicine.

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