Amid the smoke rising grimly through the air, the four Baroque Works officers stood frozen like statues.
The hundreds of bounty hunters under their command had been reduced to bloody lumps and strewn across the ground in mere minutes. And now the beasts of East Blue stood over them with their fangs bared, cold sweat pouring down the thick neck of Mr. 8, saxophone still in hand.
"...M-Monsters. Just what the hell are you people...?"
Miss Monday gripped her cross so hard the veins in her hand looked ready to burst, while Mr. 9, perched atop his unicycle, aimed his steel bat with trembling hands. The blue-haired beauty, Miss Wednesday, swallowed hard as she clenched her peacock wire.
The tension was so taut that a bloody brawl could erupt at any second.
But what broke that heavy silence was my leisurely, languid throat-clearing.
Ahem.
I slipped my cutlass back into my belt, removed my crooked tricorn hat and pressed it to my chest, then took a step forward with my trademark loose-limbed swagger.
"Ladies and gentlemen. How about we put away the weapons and begin with a civilized discussion? I invoke my lawful right under the Pirate Code: parley."
"...What? Parley?"
Mr. 8’s jaw dropped.
Behind me, Kuro of a Thousand Plans flicked the blood from his claws and clicked his tongue, his gaze icy. Don Krieg stood with his arms folded and growled low. Their faces said they were waiting to see what other absurd nonsense that mad drunkard would spill from his mouth.
"That’s right. Negotiation."
I dusted off my coat and spread my hands with an impish grin.
"You pretended to be gracious hosts, put us to sleep, then came creeping in during the dead of night with blades to cut off our heads. I have come to demand fair compensation for that atrocious lodging service.
If you wish to walk out of this town in one piece, it would be in your best interests to hand over the key to the slush-fund vault hidden on this island, along with the location of your strongest rum warehouse, like proper gentlemen."
"Don’t make me laugh! This island belongs to Baroque Works—!"
Just as Mr. 9 shrieked and raised his bat—
Sssssh—boom!!!!
With a sudden explosion, the town hall’s domed roof shattered and blasted away.
Two unfamiliar figures descended onto the rooftop through the flames and dense black smoke.
A man in a black coat and sunglasses, and a seductive woman in a lemon-yellow frilled dress, twirling a striped umbrella.
"Ohohoho! Just as I thought. I caught the scent, and here I find a gathering of little rats."
"So the pathetic lower-ranked frontier agents were wiped out. How unsightly."
The man muttered in a bored tone as he picked at his nostril.
At their arrival, the faces of Mr. 8 and Miss Wednesday, who had been confronting us moments ago, turned ashen.
"M-Mr. 5...?! Miss Valentine?!"
"Why are official agents from headquarters... here...?"
Mr. 8 trembled like a leaf in utter shock.
A tiny spark flicked from the fingertips of the sunglasses-wearing Mr. 5 exploded in midair as he spoke in an icy voice.
"You should know the reason better than anyone, Igaram. And... Miss Wednesday."
His gaze behind those sunglasses settled upon the blue-haired girl.
"No... Nefertari Vivi, first princess of the Alabasta Kingdom. We came to eliminate the little rat who infiltrated our company to uncover the identity of our boss."
A heavy silence fell over the street.
"...A princess?"
A weighty presence stirred behind my back.
Kuro of a Thousand Plans nudged up his glasses with the inside of his wrist and swept Vivi with a murderous gaze.
"So someone far greater than the wanted criminals from some East Blue backwater was hiding here. A princess of Alabasta, the ancient great kingdom of the Grand Line..."
Don Krieg’s huge iron gauntlet creaked as he twisted his lips into a cruel smile.
"Her ransom would be beyond comparison with any bounty on her head. Seize that bitch by the collar and get her aboard at once. Whether we demand hundreds of millions of Berries from the royal family or sell her to the boss of this so-called company, a mountain of gold will roll right into our hands."
"Kehahaha! I’m all for it!"
Even Buggy the Clown, floating in midair, had his eyes gleaming as drool dripped from his mouth.
Just as East Blue’s villains transformed into beasts ready to tear the princess apart—
Vivi bit her lip and shouted in a trembling voice.
"Do whatever you want, you pirates! But you won’t get a single Berry for my ransom!!"
"...What did you say?"
Don Krieg’s brow twisted savagely, and Kuro’s gaze turned cold.
Vivi glared back with bloodshot eyes, but
Kuro and Don Krieg still radiated the murderous intent of men thinking, Then we’ll hand her over to the boss of Baroque Works and at least collect the bounty.
I spat out the cigar I had been chewing and ground it into the floor,
then squeezed between Kuro and Don Krieg with my usual unsteady swagger.
"Now then, my clever friend with the spectacles, and my hot-blooded bearded friend. If you work the abacus with such short-sighted sums, how do you expect to make a living in the big seas?"
"...What nonsense are you about to spout, Jack?"
Kuro asked coolly.
"Think on it. The moment we lay a hand on that young lady to kill or sell her... we’ll have to take on the boss of that vast criminal company, along with his entire army of contract killers.
Why wager our lives on someone else’s debt collection? Are we going to slaughter the goose that lays golden eggs just to squeeze out a paltry little bounty?"
"Then what, you’re saying we should just leave the bitch behind and run?"
Don Krieg scoffed.
I grinned broadly and opened my arms.
"Run? How terribly lacking in class. This is an investment for an immense harvest."
My languid voice sank low, slipping into the beasts’ ears.
"Let that princess claw her way back to her country and struggle with her life on the line to stop the civil war.
In the end, Alabasta will either fall into those villains’ hands or be stormed by the rebels. Either way, it will be dragged into the maelstrom of a massive, blood-soaked war.
And when the king, the rebels, and the army of one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea are in the very heart of the capital, grabbing one another by the throat and fighting in the mud while their blood pours out..."
The corners of my mouth split upward nearly to my ears.
"While they are caught in that chaos,
we shall slip through a secret passage behind the palace like rats
and empty the [Alabasta Royal Treasury], where nothing but dust has piled up for centuries, from top to bottom."
"...!"
Kuro’s eyes flashed behind his glasses.
It was as though one could hear the gears of perfect calculation falling into place in that cold criminal mastermind’s head.
"Robbing the royal vault amid the confusion of war... While those in power are too busy killing one another to spare a thought for their treasure stores behind them, we take the prize and vanish. A rather mouthwatering plan."
"Kehahaha! Now that I like!"
Don Krieg threw back a vicious laugh, his massive chest heaving.
"Far better than dragging around an empty-shell princess and making ourselves targets. We rob the treasures of an entire nation and use them as capital to rebuild my fleet!"
That was when it happened.
Thud! Thud! Crash!
"Meaaat!! Where’s the booze?!"
"Hey, Luffy! Don’t just go running off on your own!"
From the far end of the alley,
came the boisterous shouting of a rubber brat screaming loud enough to rupture eardrums for meat, and a green-haired swordsman with three swords at his waist.
The Straw Hat Pirates had arrived on the island.
Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine flinched atop the roof and turned their eyes toward the sound, while a faint glimmer of hope passed through Vivi’s gaze.
I tilted up my worn tricorn hat at an angle,
then gave Vivi and Igaram a gentle shove forward, as though pushing them on their way.
"There now, Princess. The tearfully righteous charitable relief organization you were looking for just happens to be walking in right over there.
They are fool heroes who’ll chase all the way to the ends of hell to save a country if you put a piece of meat in their hands, so go on and throw yourself at their mercy."
"You... Just what are you people...?"
Vivi stared at us in stunned disbelief, but
my eyes had already turned toward the warehouses behind us.
"Now then, gentlemen! The banquet is over, and the actors have taken the stage!
While those filthy bomb throwers atop the roof and those brats get into a muddy little scrap...
it is time to plunder every last drop of premium rum and every slush-fund vault these villagers have amassed, and load it all aboard our ship!"
"Kehahaha! Strip the place clean!!"
Don Krieg barked orders at his subordinates and rushed off to smash the locks on the village warehouses. Kuro slipped into the darkness like a shadow, while Arlong hoisted enormous barrels of rum beneath both arms.
Leaving behind them the thunderous battle cries of cannonballs and rubber arms slicing through the air,
the Dead Man Pirates’ prison ship quietly raised anchor, having swallowed every treasure in Whiskey Peak.
On the day the great desert kingdom was stained with blood, the most secretive and dangerous thieves would have their sights set on its very heart.
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