Hmm.
What kind of novel stunt was this now?
She suddenly showed up saying she wanted to join the club, and now she was trying to drive in some kind of final nail?
And with Isabella saying something like that, it made me even more uneasy.
Out of the four protagonists, the hardest one to deal with was Isabella.
Iris was just a good-natured capybara of a person.
Angelica was basically a retriever who loved sparring, so aside from the fact that my body would suffer, she was manageable.
As for Dolnesia, since we were both from the Logres family, I was not likely to get stabbed in the back unless I started acting like a lunatic first.
But the Isabella standing in front of me was different.
Because out of all the countless rofan roles out there, she was the protagonist cast as the villainess.
In the game, Isabella calculated everything with ruthless self-interest, and the moment she judged something unnecessary, she discarded it without hesitation.
Most of the choices given to the player controlling her were like that too.
Of course, that was less because she had been born some inherently wicked villainess, and more because she had been poisoned and turned vicious by it.
Even taking that into account, it was still true that she reigned supreme over that social world, where everyone deceived everyone else and every kind of power play and gaslighting ran rampant.
Though in her previous life, she had been so blinded by infatuation with the second prince that she ended up drinking poison, and she had also pulled the spectacular blunder of openly slapping him across the face.
Compared to someone like me, who just wanted to live thoughtlessly while doing idiotic things in the name of chivalry, she was my complete opposite.
"I was joking."
As she said that, Isabella let go of my chin.
[Isabella von Eterna]
◈ Level: 34
◈ The target is currently feeling amused.
Even when I checked with [Insight Eye], all it told me was that she was amused.
It did not show what exactly she was amused by.
Just like with Dante, [Insight Eye] did not show me everything.
"Were you perhaps hoping I meant it?"
"As if."
"You could stand to be pleased. It is true that I am joining this club because of you. I owe you a debt."
A debt?
Surely she did not mean stopping that slap...?
That was strange. Hadn’t we already wrapped that up with a word of thanks?
"Didn’t that get settled with your thanks?"
"I do not know what made you think that. But I am not shameless enough to consider that sufficient repayment."
Folding her arms, Isabella let out a sigh at my words and answered.
Hmm.
Honestly, this was a bit much.
If Isabella joined too, then the club would definitely meet the conditions to stay alive.
The problem was that three protagonists would now be gathered in a single club.
Three people who always stood at the center of incidents, all in one place.
Thinking about the train incident, this was basically like holding a ritual and praying for disaster to strike.
And on top of that, the Ancient Documents Club had not even existed in the game, so there was no way to predict what kind of event might go off.
At this point, did avoiding Iris even mean anything anymore?
The plan had been to avoid the club Iris would join, since she had charmed the male leads more than anyone else, and keep from interfering with the growth of those male lead bastards who would follow her there...
I had at least expected Isabella to go to some other club.
And at this point, it was hard to throw her out and say no.
Not with that senior in the back looking at me with sparkling eyes.
Just as I let out a deep sigh, trapped with nowhere to advance or retreat—
Ding!
[Oath of Chivalry is activated.]
[The Stars of Knights are watching you.]
Suddenly, a notification window shoved itself into my face.
The sight of it made my expression crumple on its own.
These crazy bastards were acting up again.
How the hell was I supposed to perform an act of chivalry here?
What, were they telling me to challenge her to a duel or something?
I could not understand it.
Was there even a point here where chivalry came into play?
At this point, it felt like they were just randomly screwing with me on purpose...
Did those idiots just want me to accept her joining?
What a headache.
"Ian."
Isabella looked at me quietly for a moment, then continued with a faint smile.
"What is it?"
"I said it was a joke, but it is true that I am interested in you."
I see. A confession out of nowhere.
"You’re certainly bold."
"You are not surprised?"
"Like I told you last time, that’s narcissism."
"Yes, of course..."
She folded her arms again and went on.
"This is merely talking to myself. You do not have to answer. It is nothing more than something I am casually tossing out there."
And then, just like that, she shifted the mood.
Her red eyes fixed on me.
Angelica, Dolnesia, and Eileen watched her.
Maybe this was the real reason she had come to this club.
What exactly was she trying to say?
"You said this to Kyle. That he should do his best in the place where he stands. That even if it seems meaningless, as long as someone remains to carry on after him, meaning remains as well."
Maybe it was because Kyle’s name had suddenly come from her lips, but Eileen’s expression twitched.
"I did say something like that."
"I know a woman."
With a bitter smile, she continued.
"She was in love. Even knowing that smile would never be turned toward her, even knowing it could never become hers, she still did her best."
"........."
"And when she was given a second choice, she chose to cut the leash and abandon her love for him."
Her arms still folded, her hands tightened, wrinkling her uniform.
"But if the man she wanted to give her love to was a lie... if the love she had in the first place was nothing but a meaningless fantasy..."
She bit her lip lightly and stared at me.
She had said she did not need an answer, but Isabella was desperate for one.
"If, at the starting line where she vowed that this time she would truly do her best, she is not even allowed to begin—"
Like a desperate cry torn from her throat—
"Then what is she supposed to do?"
This was...
I had never thought about it.
I had only thought that if Kyle reformed quickly, the story ahead would become much easier.
Because in the game, doing that had clearly caused no problems.
And I had assumed the issue between her and Kyle was something time would resolve, but apparently that was not the case.
She had dressed it up as someone else’s story, but the woman Isabella was talking about was herself.
Like a fool, even knowing his love would never come to her, she had loved the second prince.
She had seen nothing else, looked at nothing else, and fixed her eyes on him alone.
But the second prince had never looked at her, and through his reckless behavior and someone else’s scheme, she drank poison and regressed.
And from there, taking revenge on the second prince was the main story of Isabella’s route.
As the story progressed, she learned his true feelings, and once she understood everything, she had to choose at the crossroads between forgiving him, or deciding, "What has to be done has to be done," and finishing her revenge.
Why had I never thought of it?
Why, although Kyle was Isabella’s main male lead in the official story, unlike the other male leads, it took until the middle to late part of the route before they could finally be together.
Because she needed time.
As the story unfolded step by step, she had to see sides of the second prince she had never seen before, build that foundation little by little, and only then could Isabella be given the choice of forgiveness.
But because of me, Isabella had learned the second prince’s true feelings before her revenge had even begun.
After regressing, she had sworn revenge.
But the second prince she had thought was a wastrel had all been an act.
Her first life had ended with poison because of that one act that had not even been sincere, and in her second life, the wastrel second prince had vanished.
"That man never loved a woman. He was the same whether he wore the mask or took it off. Even if she took revenge on the man beneath that mask, it would not be the revenge she wanted. He would surely accept it with that hypocritical smile on his face."
The time she might have had to consider forgiveness, and the resolve she had made to pursue revenge, had both turned to foam, and both the woman who had loved that wastrel and the woman who had hated him had become empty fantasies.
Because that wastrel had never existed in the first place.
He had only ever been a mask someone wore for a performance.
But then what was she supposed to do, the woman who had loved that mask, died because of that mask, and tried to take revenge on that mask?
"Ian. I did my best. And after being betrayed by a dream, I tried to do my best with the next choice too. But if that dream, and all that effort, were nothing but an illusion from the start, and I am not even given the chance to dream the next dream..."
Her voice shrank.
The proud Isabella was gone.
"Does any of it really mean anything?"
There was only a child begging for an answer.
This was hard.
Really hard.
When it came to Kyle, I had not thought this deeply.
But here, I did not think I could get away with that.
#
Even knowing that smile would never come to me, I loved him.
And when what I received was not that smile but poison, I hated him.
That was why I broke off the engagement.
I was going to begin my revenge, to take back twice the love I had given him all this time.
But then—
"I am sorry."
Why was he apologizing?
Instead of shouting at me or mocking me the way he had in his wastrel days—
He accepted the blame as if it were only natural, and accepted the broken engagement just as naturally.
If everything he had been until then was a mask—
If it had only been an illusion destined to vanish like foam—
Then what was I?
What did that make me, who had loved that mask?
What did that make me, who had died because of that mask?
What did that make me, wandering after losing both the chance and the reason for revenge?
If you do your best, meaning remains as long as there is someone to carry it on?
I simply loved with all I had, and instead of leaving anything behind, I went out like a snuffed bubble with poison.
And this time, when I tried to do my best again, even the chance was taken from me.
The pain of that poison is still lodged deep in my chest.
I still hate him.
But the one I truly hated was a lie.
The one I truly loved was a mask.
Then if I loved him and hated him—
If I died because of him, and stood up again for revenge—
What does that make me?
Now I can neither find a path nor walk one without fear.
Because I am afraid this path too will become a hollow pilgrimage.
That was why I became interested in him.
Unlike me, who merely did my best without knowing whether it would all turn to foam—
A man who did his best even while knowing it could all become foam.
A knight who ran toward a fantasy for the sake of others.
If even he knew his road would turn to foam—
If he realized that even the destination reached through another choice was foam as well—
Then what choice would you make?
Just as you tore the mask off that damned second prince, could you save someone like me too?
"Isabella."
"It was only talking to myself..."
"I’m afraid too."
What?
"I’m afraid that the wrong answer I chose might vanish into nothing like empty foam."
The words he spoke were very different from what I had expected.
"There is someone. Someone who threw everything away, reached his dream, and then had to watch with his own eyes as everything had already turned into hollow foam by the time he got there. That is why I am not certain of this path either."
Unlike my story, Ian was truly speaking of someone else.
Who was it, the person he was talking about?
Who could it be, that Ian would know such a person?
"But I do not regret it."
Ian looked once at his own fist, then raised his eyes to mine and continued.
"Isabella, you did your best."
I did my best, and it left no meaning behind.
I tried to do my best with a second choice, but the destination disappeared.
But you—
"It only means the answer you chose was the wrong one."
You were trying to tell me that even that had meaning?
"The wrong answer?"
A hollow laugh escaped me.
Then that would mean my life was nothing but wrong answers.
Not the right answer, but the wrong one.
Then how was that any different from foam that vanished into emptiness?
Ah, I see.
So this was the nail you meant to drive into me.
"The chivalry I hold to may also be the wrong answer. The reckless bravado I showed when I saved you could be seen as the wrong answer too. There might well have been a smoother way to settle things without going so far as to issue a duel challenge."
My eyes widened.
To him, practicing chivalry had to be the closest thing to the best path he could take.
And yet he was convinced it was naturally full of wrong answers.
"But having no answer and having the wrong answer are different. Wrong answers remain. Like bricks that make up a tower."
Wrong answers remain?
I had never thought of it that way.
"Human beings are creatures who always choose the wrong answer. Because later, they come to realize there had been a better choice than the one they made back then. And so they stack up a tower of wrong answers, trying to reach a little closer to the answer they can never fully touch."
Then because my best was not the absence of an answer, but a wrong answer—
Because whatever path we walk, what we choose will always be the wrong answer—
But even if it is not the answer, it can still bring us closer to one, and that is why meaning remains. Was that what you were trying to say?
"For me, that tower was chivalry. So that person will have a tower she can build as well."
So no matter what path I chose, all I had to do was keep building...
But—
"I’m scared."
For the first time—
I showed weakness to someone.
I understand what you are trying to say.
But I am scared.
Even if, as you say, it is a wrong answer, even if I know mistakes can be corrected, I am afraid I will drink poison again.
I am afraid my life will be denied.
I am afraid I will learn that my destination never existed to begin with.
The poison hurt too much.
It hurt like I was being torn apart.
I am so afraid—
Afraid to even look for a path.
Then what am I supposed to do?
Ian looked at me like that and said—
"Then don’t rush."
"Don’t rush?"
"Yes."
He nodded and went on.
"So that you can reach a better ending, let’s look for it slowly here in this club."
And then—
"We’ll help you. So that woman can find the right path."
With that, he held out his hand.
I see.
Looking at his hand, I thought to myself.
You already knew.
And even so, whether it was the right answer or the wrong one, you meant to run toward the stars anyway.
I thought I was the one driving in the nail.
I never imagined I would be the one pierced by it instead.
Honestly.
The person who keeps cracking my world apart... that man—no.
This is the first time.
The first time someone has kept opening cracks in it like this.
Talking as you please.
Truly arrogant, so arrogant it is unbearable.
And yet I cannot stop looking.
What kind of ending I will reach this time.
Whether I will drink poison and die again.
Whether you will be beside me then.
And—
Whether that tower of chivalry you are building can truly reach the stars.
So take responsibility.
For saving me back then.
For bringing me into this club.
For those arrogant words of yours, saying you would help me find a better ending even if it meant cracking my world apart as you pleased.
I want you to take responsibility for that. No matter what.
With a breathy, disbelieving laugh—
I took his hand.
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