We must not shed tears.
For that would be the body’s defeat before the heart,
and serve only as proof
that we are beings
who cannot bear what we call the heart.
—Taito Kubo
**
Ichigo and his companions infiltrated Seireitei using Kukaku’s chemical cannon.
The light created as their Reiatsu collided with the Shakonmaku blocking their entry seemed to herald the break of dawn.
I had no intention of getting involved for the time being unless I had a good reason.
Until when, exactly? Until Aizen faked his death and holed himself up in the Underground Assembly Hall.
If I went scurrying around before then and happened to run into Aizen in some back alley, my division would immediately have to start preparing my funeral.
That had definitely been my plan.
"Ryunosuke, there is something I wish to say to you."
Why had Aizen come all the way here, where the lieutenants were waiting, instead of going to watch Ichigo?
"Captain Aizen...!"
Momo looked ready to lose her mind with joy.
"I’m sorry, Momo. In my immaturity, I failed to conceal my tension and unease. I owe you a sincere apology."
"No, Captain. I only..."
Letting the two of them continue talking did not seem like a particularly good idea.
"Captain Aizen, what was it you wished to say to me...?"
"Ah, yes, Ryunosuke. As the only lieutenant to have mastered Bankai, as well as one of Momo’s classmates, I have a favor to ask of you."
Aizen looked into my eyes as he spoke.
"Whenever Momo is by your side, would you please protect her?"
"What...?"
"This incident is unprecedented. As with the captains’ meeting just now, circumstances may arise in which captains and lieutenants are separated. That is why I am asking you—the strongest and most dependable of the lieutenants."
He held my gaze and spoke slowly, at length. I could not think of a single thing to say in response.
Once he had finished, he turned to Momo.
"I’m sorry, Momo. I do not think you weak or incompetent as a lieutenant."
"I-I never thought that...!"
"Is that so...? Then this is merely an excuse for my own sake. Can you understand that I simply cannot help worrying about my subordinate?"
"Yes...! Of course. Of course I understand, Captain."
As Momo gazed at Aizen stroking her head, not a trace of concern remained in her eyes.
After reassuring Momo, Aizen patted me on the shoulder.
"As I said, this is not an order. You are not my subordinate. I am merely asking you, as her comrade, a fellow lieutenant, and a former classmate, to look out for her."
Then he left, saying he needed to assess the situation outside.
I could not make sense of it at all.
**
After my long wait, the sun that had risen with Ichigo’s invasion came crashing down in an instant because of a few words from Aizen.
When night fell, I returned to my room to rest and sank deep into thought.
I encountered the instant-death event known as Aizen and survived. That’s proof everything is going well.
...As if. Where did it start going wrong?
Ironically, however, everything else was proceeding normally, aside from Aizen coming to see me.
Renji had disappeared from the lieutenants’ waiting room at some point, fought Ichigo, and lost. I had also confirmed that Momo and Toshiro met in Renji’s treatment room.
Even so, there was no way I could relax.
Aizen’s unexpected behavior stained my thoughts black, like spilled ink.
"No... No."
Aizen had to go to the Underground Assembly Hall. There, he had to find a way to extract the Hōgyoku from Rukia’s body without using the Sōkyoku.
Because he needed to help Ichigo save Rukia and watch Ichigo’s growth.
This wasn’t baseless optimism.
There was no reason for Aizen, of all people, to care enough about someone like me to abandon his plans.
Objectively speaking, I was a talented Soul Reaper. I had mastered Kidō and attained Bankai, and as a result, I had become one of the ten strongest people in Seireitei.
But that was all.
Even if I ranked among the ten strongest, I was closer to the bottom of that list. From Aizen’s perspective, I was merely an ordinary Soul Reaper he could cut down with a single strike whenever he pleased.
There were even greater geniuses than me in the Gotei 13.
More importantly, I could not compare to a boy with an extraordinary bloodline who would attain Bankai merely three months after gaining the powers of a Soul Reaper.
"He asked me... to protect Momo."
So it had merely been a passing deception—a whim.
But...
What if it wasn’t?
What was I supposed to do?
If Aizen—that solitary genius—was acting differently from the original story because of me, then my shallow knowledge of the future...
When I first realized I had been transmigrated, I wondered something.
Why had I been transmigrated?
I wasn’t talking about whether I had failed to write 5,700 characters to Kubo or whether I had avoided being hit by a truck.
Nor was I blaming my mediocre talent.
In the transmigration stories I had read, the transmigrator’s actions always led the world toward a happy ending.
They gave the transmigrator a reason to act—the world would be destroyed without them, or the original story ended in some absurdly tragic way.
But Bleach clearly had a happy ending.
Even if Ryunosuke Yuki did nothing, Ichigo would save the world.
That was why I had once believed Ichigo would save the world no matter what I did.
I had taken it that lightly.
But when Ichigo nearly died because I tried to save Masaki...
A thought had come to me before I even realized it.
Maybe I had already pulled a single stone from an intricately balanced tower.
And if that was true, then my transmigration...
"Fucking Aizen...!!"
I felt like bursting out of the room that very instant.
I wanted to confirm that Ichigo was safe. I wanted to confirm that his companions were safe.
But what if that was exactly what Aizen wanted?
"...."
After agonizing over it again and again, I finally sprang to my feet.
I gripped my Zanpakuto and took hold of the doorknob.
I had no particular destination in mind. I had no idea what I intended to do.
...What did I even want to do?
I simply wanted to walk wherever my feet carried me.
I hoped that once I went outside, I would encounter something—anything at all.
**
Seireitei beneath the cover of darkness was utterly silent, as though the commotion of the day had been a lie.
Even the insects had hidden away and ceased their chirping, cowed by the ominous air hanging over Seireitei.
Only the breathing of those standing watch and the occasional footsteps of Soul Reapers searching Seireitei broke the silence.
I had no idea how long I had been walking when I suddenly came to my senses and found the area around me brightly lit.
The Fourth Division barracks.
While most other divisions had put out their lights and gone to rest, it was still daytime for them.
When had I come all the way here?
I was just about to turn back, unwilling to disturb them.
"Ryunosuke?"
It was a voice that had become all too familiar.
"Are you hurt somewhere?"
Just as I had heard once before, her voice was filled with concern for me.
"No. I didn’t do anything today. I just... ended up here while I was walking...."
Ended up here while walking...
I could not find the right words.
"Then perhaps you simply came to see me?"
After waiting a moment for an answer, she took in my appearance and offered me that explanation herself.
Her voice was as comforting as ever.
"...I suppose so. I came to see you, Isane."
I really was a nuisance.
"I’m sorry, Isane. You must be busy."
"Not at all! I was just about to finish my shift."
"Aren’t you tired...?"
"If you don’t mind, may I walk with you?"
When I hesitated, Isane said that to me.
Before long, we began walking side by side.
Quietly and slowly.
She led me to a nearby park and toward that bench.
Even after we sat close together on the bench and I began to feel the chill of the night air, she simply waited in silence.
"There’s something that absolutely has to happen."
The words slipped from my mouth before I realized it.
"It was supposed to work out even without me... No, it was supposed to work out as long as I did nothing."
Once I began speaking, I could feel her turn to look at me.
"That was why I thought it would be fine no matter what I did."
"...What did you do?"
"Something happened that I didn’t like. Someone close to me was put in danger."
"...."
"So I rushed in to help without thinking. But after I saved them, I realized something. Saving someone isn’t nearly as simple as I thought...."
I realized that the world was not a manga.
"By the time I came to my senses, so many things had changed. I began to think everything might change. But it can’t. There’s something that absolutely has to happen."
I wished I had never known anything in the first place.
"Maybe I should have stayed still and done nothing. Maybe I’ve already ruined everything...."
Even though Isane was looking at me, I could not bring myself to look at her.
"I’m sorry, Isane. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m just rambling... Ha ha."
That was when Isane began telling me her own story.
"...There was once someone I failed to save."
Like me, she stared straight ahead and spoke slowly.
"I should have been able to save them... If I’d been a little less nervous, if I’d acted a little faster, if someone else had been there instead of me... Couldn’t they have survived?"
"...."
"While I was blaming myself like that, someone I deeply respect said this to me."
She cleared her throat, then began speaking as though imitating someone else’s voice.
"There is no one who can take your place. If that position was entrusted to you, then it means there is something only you can do. So stop looking back and move forward."
Cough.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ryunosuke. I don’t think our situations are the same, either. But Ryunosuke, there is no one in this world who is meant to do nothing."
She rose from the bench and crouched in front of me, as though demanding that I look at her.
"I’m happy whenever you come to see me, just like you did today."
"Isane...."
"Besides, there’s someone you saved, isn’t there? At least to that person, what you did must have been something that needed to be done."
"Someone... I saved...."
"So Ryunosuke, if you acted because you wanted to protect someone, then please... don’t blame yourself."
Someone I wanted to protect.
At some point, Isane had taken both my hands in hers. She was smiling as she always did.
"Do you know something? This is the first time you’ve looked me in the eye since we met tonight."
There was a different ornament than usual in her hair as she smiled gently.
It was the gift I had given her not long ago.
"Do you think I can do this right?"
"Of course. You always say you’re not confident, but you succeed every time."
"Do I?"
"You’re probably the only one who doesn’t know it."
I had done well all this time. Perhaps that meant I could keep doing well from now on.
"I see.... I’m slow, aren’t I? Even when it comes to realizing things."
Many things had already changed. Even if my actions had already altered the future, there was no turning back.
In that case, all I could do was keep moving forward.
"Hehe."
"Isane."
"Yes, Ryunosuke?"
"It looks good on you."
"I’ve been waiting for you to say that."
We talked about many things on the way back.
About the Ryoka, about the injured Renji, and even about all sorts of things that did not matter at all.
When the backs of our hands brushed without my noticing, I was a little startled.
Comments (0)
Please log in to leave a comment. Login or Register