I really have no idea what is going on.
A vampire? One of those fictional creatures that drinks human blood?
And one was standing right in front of us, disguised as a girl with such an innocent smile.
"A-a vampire...? Is this some kind of joke?! This is like a play or something, right?"
It was perfectly understandable for Tsurudo to ask that.
"Mm! Nooo! Tana is a real vampire! The teachers at school always told Tana so! They said Tana is a proud vampire, so Tana should eat and bite as much as Tana wants!"
"School...? Cristana, could you tell us a little more?"
"Roshiya!? You're just accepting that right away?!"
"Stop butting in! My brain is trying to put itself back in after I worked so hard to take it out."
Apparently, Shu had already given up on everything. Maybe that was the best approach in a situation this hopeless.
"Yep! Tana came from a place called Hellsing Nursery School! Tana had no friends and was never allowed outside, but the teachers were always nice to Tana! They gave Tana lots of rotten meat and blood, and encouraged Tana by stomping on Tana's soles! ...That's what Tana was told to say?"
"R-rotten meat and blood...?! No, wait, she's a vampire, so that's normal... It must be..."
"More importantly, Redrasi, that doesn't sound like they treated you well. It sounds like abuse in every possible way..."
"Red... rasi? Mmm!!"
Cristana suddenly puffed out her cheeks and approached Tsurudo with an unhappy expression.
"W-what's gotten into you all of a sudden... Aah?!"
"Tana! Tana doesn't like Redrasi! Cristana also... mmm, doesn't like it much! Tana likes Tana! Call Tana that!"
With her sharp nails raised, she suddenly pressed down hard on both his shoulders.
"S-sorry, but I never call people by their given names! I have a rule that I only use surnames... Gghk?!"
Crack...!
"Aaargh!!! Roshiya! Roshiyaa!"
"Why are you calling for me...?"
"It's not a name! It's a nickname! Like Moon or Star! So Tana wins! Mmm!"
"O-okay, just let go—no, please let go, Tana!!"
She must have been incredibly strong. The persuasion—not that it really qualified as persuasion—did not end until we heard something bend.
*
*
Afterward, we fled from Cris—no, Tana, who wanted to keep talking, and headed for the second floor of the annex.
The second floor had an ordinary academy-like layout, with a music room and science room as its main features.
"What good is that... Every single place is locked."
"Tell me about it... Hm? Hey, look over there! I think that one's open?"
Where Tsurudo pointed was a classroom with the faintest sign that its door had been opened.
Creeeak...
The moment I put my hand on it and slid the door aside, the classroom revealed itself.
"...Tch. You came in after all."
Along with a man with a decadent air about him, standing alone inside and looking out at the scenery.
"Hm? What's that supposed to mean? You make it sound like you knew we were coming."
"Of course I did. You kept stomping around with those clumsy footsteps."
Between the heavy dark circles beneath his eyes and that remark, he seemed like a rather sensitive person.
"Well, let's introduce ourselves first. I'm Tsurudo Chosuke, the Ultimate Gambler. And you are?"
"..."
He continued adjusting the frills he wore until Shu and I had finished introducing ourselves. Only then, apparently satisfied, did he look directly at us.
"My name is Kadra Culard. I came here in the capacity of the Ultimate Count."
[Kadra Culard / Ultimate Count]
An actual count now? That was the thought that occupied my mind.
"Hm? Culard... You don't mean that Culard family, do you?!"
Unexpectedly, Shu asked with her eyes wide.
"The Culard family...? What is it, Roshiya? You know him?"
"Know him might not be the right word, but they were pretty famous in the region where I worked. You see, they were—"
At that moment, a sharp click of his tongue cut her off.
"...Hey, why don't you stop?"
"What...? Wait, I'm not 'hey,' I'm Roshiya—"
"I know you mean no harm, but I don't want to hear it. Those... stories full of trash."
"What...?"
My hand clenched into a fist at those words, but nothing fitting came out.
"Ha! You sure talk like an arrogant count! Why are all you upper-class types so damn rude?"
Tsurudo, if somewhat harshly, had said exactly what I wanted to say.
"...No. That's different."
But Kadra answered much more calmly than expected.
"What...?"
"First of all... as you said, I am not like those rude upper-class people. More accurately... you could say my family fell from grace, and our standing with it."
"Huh? Fell from grace...?"
"...And I said it was full of trash."
Kadra had already passed us and was standing before the classroom exit.
"That expression was aimed solely at my own story. Don't misunderstand."
Clack!
With those words, he left the classroom without a hint of hesitation.
"..."
Whether he had circumstances of his own or was simply sensitive, we did not know.
So, for a while, we could only stare wordlessly at the closed door.
*
*
The third floor we climbed to was also lined with numerous locked classrooms like folding screens.
But there was one difference.
"Hm...? That's..."
A very—no, an entire hallway-length infirmary.
"At least we know it's the academy's only infirmary. If there's another one that size, this isn't an academy. It's a field hospital."
"Haha, you're absolutely right!"
Listening to their pointless jokes, we slowly made our way to the infirmary.
"...!"
There, we encountered a short red-haired, red-eyed girl leaning against the white wall, lost in thought.
There was something strange about her, something that did not suit her small frame, and we paused to watch her carefully.
"...Sonocon."
Unconcerned by that, she muttered.
"Sonoconciliere."
A completely incomprehensible... phrase.
"...Um? Excuse me, but who are you?"
Ironically, she herself was the one who broke the silence that followed.
"...Ah! Hi? Were you brought to this academy too?"
Perhaps to break the tension, Shu greeted her even more brightly than before.
"...Ah, yes! I was."
The girl answered just as cheerfully, as though swallowing that tension whole.
"Heh, you're an interesting one. I'm Tsurudo Chosuke, the Ultimate Gambler, and this is Keisha Shoko, the Ultimate Mister."
"Not Ultimate Mister—Ultimate Detective...!"
Having overheard our exchange, the girl involuntarily snorted, apologized for the rudeness, then continued.
"Hello. I'm Akano Kiramari, the Ultimate Puppeteer."
[Akano Kiramari / Ultimate Puppeteer]
"A puppeteer... That means someone who manipulates dolls, right? I've never met one in person before."
"That's right. It's embarrassing to say, but I've trained my entire life, so I'm fairly confident in my skill."
In response to my words, Akano took a small puppet controller and a wooden cat puppet from her pocket, then moved it with incredibly deft hands.
"Whoa...! Even with gloves on, that was so delicate. It looked alive!"
"Thank you, Roshiya. Though the gloves do not really matter, actually. Hehe."
"Speaking of clothes, why are you wearing a suit—an oversized one at that? Aren't you hot?"
At Tsurudo's observation, undoubtedly made without much thought—
"..."
Akano stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before answering.
"...Couldn't the same be said for you and Roshiya? There are differences in customization, but among this group, shouldn't Keisha be the one getting called out?"
Perhaps in a village of one-eyed people, the two-eyed person was the abnormal one.
"Well, a school uniform is kind of like a suit when you think about it. I don't think it matters either way."
"Hmm... Well, if you say so. More importantly, are you planning to enter the infirmary?"
"We were... It's big and white, so I was hoping it might be open unlike all those extra classrooms..."
Akano snorted again, then apologized for doing so without thinking.
"Unfortunately, I checked earlier, and the infirmary was locked. Or rather... it seemed as if someone had already been here before us...?"
After hearing that, we quickly checked the front door beside us and the side door at the far end of the infirmary. All we got in return was the frustrating rattle of metal.
"What the hell!? If they've even locked the infirmary, what are we supposed to do if someone gets hurt?!"
"Calm down, Tsurudo. This is baseless speculation, but perhaps it is simply too early? In an ordinary academy, students cannot enter before classes begin either, can they?"
"Well... I guess that could be right."
"By the way, it seems you have been introducing yourselves one by one as you meet people... If you would like, may I point you toward the next candidate?"
When we showed interest, Akano led us toward the stairs to the fourth floor.
"There is an Eastern-style martial arts dojo upstairs. You should find someone there to greet."
"I see... Thanks, Akano! Ah, if you don't mind, would you like to come with us?"
"No, I have already exchanged brief introductions with them. Please excuse me, then. I would like to investigate this mysterious academy further on my own."
Akano gently declined Shu's offer, turned her back to us, and walked away with even lighter steps.
"...Ah, but I can't let this go. Hey, Akano! Wait a second!"
"...Yes? What is it, Tsurudo?"
Without turning around, she showed her willingness to answer simply by stopping.
"That thing you said at the very beginning—'Sonoconciliere.' What the hell does that mean?"
"...I see. 'Sonoconciliere'..."
Akano thought for a moment.
"...I'm sorry. It is like a personal battle cry, so I do not really know either? Hehe."
She flashed us a cute smile, then vanished as if dancing away on even lighter feet.
"...Well, some people have habits like that. Like the kind of person who yells 'Hwaaaah!!' when they take a shit."
"Of all the comparisons you could make... Forget it. Let's keep going up."
Shaking my head, I headed once more for the dojo on the fourth floor.
*
*
Just as Akano said, the fourth floor was mostly occupied by a large dojo and a small gym beside it.
Thwack!
The dojo we threw open was built in a thoroughly traditional style.
"Ah, there he is...!"
And in the center stood the man Akano had mentioned, holding a folding fan.
At the same time, he spotted us and spread both arms as though welcoming guests.
"Welcome, to my dojo!"
His manner was so excessively confident that I nearly bowed as if to excuse myself and leave.
"Ah... Nice to meet you. I'm Keisha Shoko, the Ultimate Detective. And these two are..."
"...Hahahaha!! What a festive day! A detective, a fixer, and a gambler! It is nothing less than a full-course feast!"
Having received our introductions and laughed heartily, he snapped shut the fan he had been spreading, declaring it his turn.
"My name is Narita Ryuichi! I am the Ultimate Shogi Master, recognized by all!"
[Narita Ryuichi / Ultimate Shogi Master]
A shogi master... Now that I heard it, he wore a peculiar outfit that blended traditional shogi-player attire with a suit.
"Shogi... Not my favorite, but it is an interesting game."
"Hm! You said you were the Ultimate Gambler. Do you have some connection to shogi as well?"
"Who knows? I prefer chess to shogi... More importantly, what were you doing here? No matter how I look at it, I don't think a fighting dojo suits a shogi player."
"Not so! The shogi dojo I attended all my life had the same traditional wooden style as this place. And besides..."
Narita put away his fan and struck an inexplicable pose.
"With shogi, you can enjoy a game anywhere, anytime through air shogi! Hahahahaha!"
"A-air shogi...? Is it like solitaire chess...?"
"Lady Roshiya, that is an improper comparison. Solitaire chess certainly exists, whereas air shogi is an immaterial act of working one's mind!"
"Hmm... I still don't get it..."
"Well, at least I know he's unexpectedly weird..."
After that, we listened to Narita's somewhat forceful and nonsensical talk about shogi, then barely managed to escape the dojo by claiming we needed to go elsewhere.
*
*
Having briefly looked around the annex, we went downstairs to head for the gray building pressed directly beside it.
"Huh...? Shoko, Tsurudo! Look over there!"
As we were descending to the second floor, Shu, who had been glancing at the large window, pointed outside.
"What is it, Shu? Hm...?"
"Isn't that... a person? I can't tell because they're wearing a hood..."
Below stood someone leaning furtively against the rear side of the annex.
I could not tell their gender beneath the hood, but that only made it more important to get acquainted.
"Should we call to them from here? No, it would be awkward to call them over and only meet later..."
"Well, let's just go down and around. It's a little annoying, but there's no other way."
"...No, from this height... I think I can do it?"
"What...?"
Tsurudo and I tilted our heads together at Shu's suspicious grin.
Whoosh!
The next instant, a powerful gust blew from in front of us.
"Whoa!? Roshiya?!"
"Hold on tight, Tsurudo! You'll hurt your head!"
The reason was Shu, who had instantly slung Tsurudo over her back and leaped through the window.
"Shu... Shu!? What are you doing?!"
"I'm just going down with a breakfall! Hurry up and come down too, Shoko! It should be easy if you're the Ultimate Detective!"
That was true, but—just as I was about to respond—
"Y-you bastards... Why are you ignoring me!? Let go!"
Already halfway through the fall, Tsurudo used his characteristic dexterity to slip free of Shu's grip.
"H-huh!? Hey! It's dangerous if you suddenly break free!"
"Shut up! I choose my own path! That is a gambler's creed!"
"Not you—the person below!"
Only then did the hooded person hear us and look up.
"Huh....?!"
She was a green-eyed girl wearing an eyepatch and a suit.
"You there! Move, quickly!"
"W-what?!"
But now, she was merely a pitiful victim about to be devoured by Tsurudo's ass.
"Aaaaaaah!!!"
Boom!
What followed was a thick cloud of dust raised by the tremendous impact.
"Hup... Good grief, it happened after all..."
Meanwhile, Shu landed with absurd ease and scratched her head as she said it.
Tap!
"W-whoa, you startled me! Shoko?!"
"Tell me about it. I don't think being stubborn in a situation like that is a good idea."
"Y-you really are amazing... The physical ability of a top-class detective."
I had also landed safely with a breakfall, just as easily.
More importantly, I was worried about Tsurudo and the girl, who must have been battered to hell...
"...Ugh... Hey, you... still alive...?"
Fortunately, Tsurudo seemed unharmed. It struck me again that he was quite physically tough himself.
"A-alive...? You've got some nerve..."
And the girl raised a voice just as sharp as Tsurudo's...
"There's a limit!! You idiot!!"
Wham!
"Urrgh?!"
She kicked Tsurudo and sent him flying toward us.
"...I take back what I said about him being unharmed."
"W-what are you talking about...? More importantly, help me up..."
Once we finally helped him up, the dust covering the girl completely cleared.
"Ugh... This is so irritating! What the hell is this?! I only stole this cape recently, and now it's completely torn!"
Just as she said, she was glaring furiously at the cape, which had been torn to shreds.
"S-sorry for tearing it. I apologize."
"What!? You think sorry makes it okay!? This thing was expensive, so you should forget about trying to skip out on paying me back!"
"No, no, more importantly, what do you mean you just stole it?!"
"Hm? And who are you people? This idiot's accomplices?"
Ignoring Tsurudo, who bristled at being called an idiot, we gave brief introductions.
"A-a detective... Today really is my unlucky day in more ways than one."
"Unlucky...? Who exactly are you to say that?"
Only then did the girl wear a mischievous smile and speak.
"I'm Ubauchi Tojo! I'm the Ultimate Thief, but I'm cute and nice, so you'll let it slide, right?"
[Ubauchi Tojo / Ultimate Thief]
"Now we even have a thief, Shoko..."
"B-but can a thief openly enroll in a public institution like an academy?!"
"Why not? I've been stealing since I was little and never got caught, and I never will! Hehe!"
She said that and grinned as shamelessly as Tsurudo.
"What a joke...! Forget this. She's not cute or nice, so arrest her already, Keisha!! You don't need a warrant!!"
"You shut up and get lost! You should be figuring out how to compensate me for my cape!"
"I can win the money and pay you back, you annoying woman! What kind of thief has such a meticulous sense of finance anyway?!"
After watching their childish and utterly unproductive bickering for several minutes—
"Um... Tsurudo, do you want to stay here and keep playing? Shu and I can continue the investigation."
"W-who would play with someone like her!? Let's go already! Playtime is over!"
"Why don't you learn to make your words consistent before pretending to be cool? Hmph!"
"Now, now, don't be like that. Ubauchi... Do you know where the others are?"
While I dragged away the grumbling Tsurudo, Shu gently soothed the sulking girl and asked her.
"...See that gray building next door? I haven't been there, but they should be in there. Probably...?"
Probably or not, the building was certainly big enough to have at least one person inside.
"Hmph, then let's get going! Oh, and don't follow us, you damn thief!"
"Hmph, I wasn't going to anyway?! You damn gambler!"
In the end, the two parted after exchanging childish tongues and middle fingers until the very last moment.
But none of us knew then just how quickly we would come to miss that childish time.
*
*
Unlike the distance between the main building and the annex, the annex and gray building were separated by only a short distance.
Creeeak...
We entered through a door that looked heavy but opened easily.
"...!"
In the dim hallway, we froze at the sight of a short-haired woman casually showing us her back.
"..."
Not simply because we were startled, but because her very presence was so cold.
"...Excuse me, do you have a moment?"
At Shu's words, which broke through that wall of ice, the woman stopped her clicking heels.
"...Haa."
She let out a faint sigh and slowly turned to face us.
I had seen it from behind, but now her deeply revealing purple dress—at odds with that cold aura—entered my view.
But more than anything else, what drew my attention was the thick opera glove covering her entire left arm.
"..."
At that incongruous sight, we found ourselves momentarily speechless.
"...Speak."
Perhaps tired of waiting, she finally uttered that in an icy voice.
"...Ah, I'm Tsurudo Chosuke! The Ultimate Gambler..."
"I'm Keisha Shoko, the Ultimate Detective. If you don't mind... would you introduce yourself too?"
"..."
...And another heavy silence descended.
Even after Shu overcame the awkwardness and confidently finished her own introduction, a little more time passed.
"...Haa."
Finally, she moved.
Not just her lips, but the left hand wearing that glove.
"Is that... a bolt...?"
A small, ordinary bolt lay in her outstretched left hand.
But the next moment—
"N-no way...!"
That bolt became the rarest and most incredible bolt in the world.
Hummm...
Because it was casually floating in midair.
"U-uh..."
Having witnessed something utterly supernatural, we were rendered speechless like fools.
"...Haa."
Slip...
Seeing that, she finally lowered her left hand, and the bolt casually dropped to the floor at the same time.
"...Tetsumi."
Right after that, she casually continued.
"What...?"
And I had no choice but to repeat it back once more.
"Niseato Tetsumi. The Ultimate Psychic."
[Niseato Tetsumi / Ultimate Psychic]
I really, sincerely have no idea what is going on.
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