EightSpiderLegs: Ah, seriously, please sell it to meㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└EightSpiderLegs: A ghost story is dying here!!!!!
└EightSpiderLegs: (Actually dying)
└EightSpiderLegs: plsplsplsplsplspls
└Anonymous (999.1): Calm down, calm down;;;;
"Mmm... What a nuisance for a first customer."
[Agreed]
Lying on the floor, I lamented as I wolfed down an energy bar in one bite.
A trade request that had finally come in after several hours.
And my momentous first trade had turned out to be with a nuisance.
"Does this guy have nothing better to do? Why does he only leave comments on my posts?"
EightSpiderLegs.
I remembered that username.
It was the ghost story that had taught me the gallery’s basic common sense.
I’d been a little grateful to it, but that gratitude evaporated in an instant.
Anonymous (999.1): So what are you selling? Gimme a catalog.
└EightSpiderLegs: Ahhh, wait, gimme a sec.
└EightSpiderLegs: (Photo of a mountain of miscellaneous junk)
└Anonymous (999.1): Oh? I can pick from this?
└EightSpiderLegs: Yesyesyesyesyes.
└EightSpiderLegs: I’ll trade ten items for every energy bar!!!
"Ten items? Isn’t that way too generous?"
I sprang to my feet and inspected the photo.
There were cold weapons like swords and axes, guns with blood spattered here and there on them.
Grenades, talismans, books, figurines...
Wait, why were there figurines?
Anyway, there was a whole heap of different items.
Every single one looked like it would be useful to stockpile.
"Taking ten of these for one bar feels a little..."
[What a sucker]
"Hey, don’t call customers that."
My conscience genuinely pricked me.
I’d asked the Backrooms and found out that it could produce an infinite number of energy bars and bottles of water.
In other words, it was no different from getting them for free.
It was an insane markup that would make even restaurants in tourist traps shake their heads.
The cost ratio was a complete zero percent, after all.
Anonymous (999.1): Ten is too many;;
└Anonymous (991.1): Just trade one-for-one instead.
└EightSpiderLegs: Gasp.
└EightSpiderLegs: Can I really do that?
└Anonymous (999.1): If you go back to speaking casually, yeah.
└EightSpiderLegs: Of course—no, of course I can!!!
└EightSpiderLegs: Wow, I’m seriously grateful you existㅠㅠㅠㅠ
"...That’s some serious sucking up."
[Ass-kiss—]
"Tsk."
Anonymous (999.1): Anyway, I’ll send mine first.
└Anonymous (999.1): How many do you need?
└EightSpiderLegs: Ten—no, twenty would be enough.
└EightSpiderLegs: I need to fill my little ones’ bellies firstㅠㅠ
└Anonymous (999.1): Little ones? Anyway, okay.
"All right. Let’s see about delivering them, then."
So how was I supposed to get the energy bars to them?
I was trapped in the Backrooms; I couldn’t exactly make a delivery, much less go there myself.
The answer could be found in a pinned post.
[Notice][★]: Guide to the Barter System
Author: 【Head Mod】
This is the head mod.
I have just subdued the troll who unleashed a tactical nuke in the gallery.
After interrogating it, I found that it was a teleportation-type ghost story.
It seemed a waste to simply kill it,
so I made this ghost story a lifetime deputy moderator.
@RapidExchangeSlave
If you need a trade from now on, send this one a private chat.
The slave will come to you within ten seconds.
We hope you make extensive use of this service.
Thank you.
[Total comments — 10]
LiveKindly: Wow, Head Mod, you’re brutal.
└LiveKindly: Real-life ganking someone the moment they mess up the gallery atmosphere. Damn.
└Agent: They even changed that troll’s username lol. It was originally just RapidExchange.
└PencilSharpener: Never, ever mouth off in front of the head mod...
"Hmm. No matter how many times I read it, it’s shocking."
[Violent]
A gallery where trolling got you real-life ganked.
Even if I made an alt, I’d better never spread tactical nukes around.
Feeling the terror of the head mod,
I sent a private chat to the deputy moderator listed in the notice.
Anonymous (999.1): Hey.
└RapidExchangeSlave: YesGhostStory!ThisIsTheGhostStoryMinorGalleryExchangeService!IHaveAlreadyDepartedSoPleaseWaitJustAMoment!
Anonymous (999.1): I was going to entrust you with a trade.
Anonymous (999.1): Huh?
"What? You already left?"
[How?]
A reply had arrived in a single second.
Both the Backrooms and I were dumbfounded.
No, how was their response this fast?
Just as I was staring blankly at the comment window—
Pshhk!
"What?"
A blade sprang from thin air and sliced open space.
"Gasp! S-sorry to keep you waiting! Your on-site exchange agent has arrived...!"
A white-haired girl in a suit jumped out through the gap.
Though the whites of her eyes had now turned black.
After taking a moment to catch her breath,
she seemed to realize her mistake, took off the hat she was holding, and bowed deeply.
"M-my apologies! I was so excited to meet the much-talked-about newcomer in person that I..."
"You should apologize. You barged into someone else’s home without permission."
I said it half sincerely and half as a joke.
But—
upon hearing my joke, the girl’s face turned deathly pale.
"S-sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so ignorant that I don’t know the etiquette of high-ranking ghost stories...!"
"It’s fine. I was joking."
"Eek!! You mean you’re going to explode my head as a joke...!!"
"..."
The startled girl collapsed where she stood.
And she did not stop screaming until, against my will, I told her I would kill her if she didn’t calm down.
**
"So, you can teleport to the locations of gallery members?"
"Yes, but could you please speak casually to me...?"
The exchange slave had finally managed to settle down.
By the way, I’d given her that name.
Since she was a barter ghost story.
Exchangey, as I called her, explained how she had been able to enter the Backrooms while kneeling on both knees.
For the record, I didn’t make her kneel.
What was I supposed to do when she insisted on it despite me telling her to sit comfortably?
"All right, it’s not difficult or anything."
"Thank you..."
"Anyway, I just give the items to you, right?"
A little earlier, Exchangey had explained the barter system to me.
You gave her the things you wanted delivered, and she tore through dimensions to fly off and deliver them.
It really couldn’t be more useful.
Regular delivery took at least twenty or thirty minutes, while this did not even take one.
"Yes! You can put them in here!"
Swish.
Exchangey confidently answered and pulled a leather pouch from her sleeve.
It was roughly the size of a fist.
Far too small to hold many things.
"Will everything fit in there? It’s fine for now, but there’ll be a lot to bring back from the other side."
"It’s all right! This is a tool-type ghost story."
"Ah-ha."
A tool-type ghost story. I’d read that term in the notice.
Anonymous code n.4.
It could not move, but it was still a living being with an ego, apparently.
"It’s a friend that can swallow anything infinitely. The head mod gave it to me as a present."
"Oh, so you wouldn’t be lonely by yourself?"
"No. It got caught trolling too."
Hmm.
I really could never troll.
How had the head mod even thought to real-life gank a tool?
As I entertained that pointless thought,
I grabbed a handful of the energy bars piled on the floor and put them inside the pouch ghost story.
Then I felt an unmistakable gaze.
"Th-that is the..."
Exchangey was drooling as she stared at the energy bars.
Enough to soak the suit beneath her neck.
Ghost stories supposedly could not eat food, so it seemed she had seen the sales post I uploaded.
"Want one?"
"Huh? I-I’m fine!"
"Swallow your drool before you say that."
Gulp. Exchangey swallowed her drool.
"...Thank you, but it’s the thought that counts. How could I possibly accept such a precious treasure for free?"
"I never gave you the thought."
"Pardon?"
"I’m joking."
Rustle.
While Exchangey stood there flustered, I casually handed her an energy bar.
"This is..."
"I have plenty of these, so take it. If you really can’t accept it, think of it as a delivery tip."
"N-newcomer...!!"
Exchangey accepted the energy bar with tears in her eyes.
She carefully tucked it into her suit’s breast pocket, sniffled, and saluted me.
"I will deliver your items with all my heart and soul!"
"Sure. Be careful on your way."
I gave her a casual wave goodbye.
"Thank you! I’ll be going now!!"
Shing!
Exchangey took a huge greatsword from the leather pouch, slashed open the air, and vanished into the rift she had made.
The rift disappeared shortly afterward.
"Lucky. I want to escape too."
[Aren’t you going with her?]
"She said no one else could go along. Nothing I can do about it."
[I see]
It was a shame, that was all.
If I could have gone with her, I could have gotten home.
I shook off my lingering regrets and stood up.
I had to get ready while the items were on their way.
"You ready, Back?"
[Of course]
There was something you absolutely had to do when you got trapped in the Backrooms—or rather, in a ghost story.
I was going to try escaping.
"All right, then let’s begi—"
Ding!
[Promotion]: Don’t eat their energy bars carelessly...
Author: EightSpiderLegs
(Photo of a spider hand holding an energy bar)
I’m usually well-known and work out consistently...
The newcomer made a sales post, so I bought some to give the kids and took one bite off the end to try it...
All I thought was, wow, this is fucking delicious, but then—
(Photo of an energy bar with only the wrapper left)
You see this? Hahahahaha.
When I came to my senses, I’d already eaten the whole thing and only the wrapper was left.
Anyway, I’m off to split the rest with my kids.
I don’t know how much stock is left, so you guys should hurry up and buy some too.
[Total comments — 7]
NeverDoubt: Wait, you could really eat them??
└NeverDoubt: This isn’t a bait post to catch and beat the hell out of us???
└EightSpiderLegs: Yeah, it’s real lolllll.
└EightSpiderLegs: My kids are eating them and crying right now.
└YourMoneyMyMoney: Holy shit, I’m absolutely buying these.
└AshesMimic: I was scared, but after seeing this, I decided to buy a hundred.
└CleanlinessKing: Move the fuck over, I’m buying them.
Ding! Ding!
[A private chat has arrived!]
[A private chat has arrived!]
[A private chat has arrived!]
"Uh..."
[Uh]
...It looked like I would have to go a little later.
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