I think I lived my life pretty hard.
But the world didn’t seem to agree.
I pulled on the rope fixed to the ceiling and tugged at it to make sure it was secure.
It only answered with dull little tap tap and creeeak sounds, and the rope didn’t change shape at all.
"Guess my neck won’t snap off."
Reassured by that, I sat down on the floor to sort out my life one last time instead of watching my life flash before my eyes.
On the floor was my father’s cigarette. The one I’d never get to see again.
I smoked it, thinking maybe my parents would come back and go, "Surprise~"
"Cough! Cough!...."
But nothing happened.
Letting out an empty laugh at how pointless it all was, I reviewed my life.
I liked animation. Because of that, I came to like kendo too.
It might sound random, but that’s how it was.
Anyway, I wanted to learn swordsmanship. So I begged my parents and joined a kendo dojo.
I learned how to use a sword. As expected, it was fun. I even had talent.
So I ended up going to that kendo dojo for over ten years, when I’d only meant to do it for a little while.
I won awards along the way. At school, I even served as class president. I was also selected for the youth national team.
I was happy.
"When are you coming? Ah, okay..."
"KWAANG!!!"
My parents were driving to pick me up when their car skidded on rainwater, hit me, and then crashed into a streetlight.
That accident left both my legs unusable, and my parents died instantly.
It was fucking awful. I wanted to die.
But how was I supposed to die? With my legs in this state?
So, before I died, I needed something to kill time with.
The thing I used to kill time was reading manga.
Don’t call me random. I was just reading the stuff I remembered from when I was a kid.
...Anyway, I spent all day reading manga then. Freezing, My Hero Academia, Chainsaw Man, Black Clover, One Piece, Naruto, and more... I read all the popular ones.
If I had to pick the one that stuck with me most, maybe Freezing, since it was the only one I never got to finish...
Anyway, after I got out of the hospital, and then right after that with the rope incident and everything else, now I was in this state.
"Putting it all together, I really did live sloppily."
Whatever. If I died, that was the end of it.
Without the slightest hesitation, I put my neck in the rope.
"Wake up!!"
"Hey, wake up!!"
"...Huh? Is this hell?"
"Quit saying crazy shit and wake uuuuup!!!"
The person who had been waking me up in hell was suddenly dragged away by something.
When I focused on them, I could see what had dragged them off.
What had dragged the person away was...
"To, tomato?"
"I am the Tomato Devilaaaaaah!!!!!! Damn Devil Hunters!!! I’ll turn you all into rotten tomatoes and crush youuuu!!!"
"The devil escaped!!"
"Damn it!! This is why you don’t make deals with yakuza!!"
"Aaaagh!!"
I had no idea what the hell was going on.
I had no idea whether this situation was even real.
But looking at the scene in front of me—at a person being hit by tomatoes and melting away while their brain matter spilled out—I could at least tell that I needed to run.
"My, my crutches... huh?"
Luckily, my legs moved. ...Why?
...No idea. For now, run—
Thud!
A tomato struck my back. It melted my flesh and, in an instant, exposed my spine.
"P, p, piii!!!!"
It hurt.
"Piiiiiiii!!!!"
It hurts, damn it. Why does it hurt if this is a dream?
"Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!"
I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.
But there was one thing I did know.
"-------"
That for now, I had to run or fight.
...
"Screw it, whatever~ My legs move, and if this is a dream anyway, I might as well fight and die~~"
I picked up a sharp metal bar lying nearby.
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