Several seasons changed.
The girl accumulated many military merits.
She captured heights thought impossible to take and annihilated the enemy main force on the plains.
Achievements so great that it would not have been strange for her to be promoted to a field-grade officer at once.
The Southern Allied Army, which had fought alongside the girl, praised her as the "Valkyrie of Leidenschaftlich."
A nickname that combined a goddess-like beauty with awe-inspiring martial power.
Another nickname was the "Goddess of Death." That was what the enemy called her.
"But why am I the butcher?"
Unlike the girl, who was a Valkyrie and a goddess of death, being called a butcher was not a pleasant sound.
It would have been fine if only the enemy called her that, but even our side called her a butcher, and it felt strangely unpleasant.
"I don’t have anything to give you. Sorry."
I held out food to the girl.
It was a sandwich made with bread, meat, cheese, and vegetables.
The girl blankly accepted it and ate with quiet enthusiasm.
Resting my chin in my hand as I watched her, I thought to myself.
Of course, the girl’s military merits were not really hers.
The girl’s identity was unofficial.
The girl was just a girl.
War belonged to men and adults.
Use a woman and a young girl in war? If the government officially acknowledged that, they would be cursed from every direction.
It could even be twisted into a child prostitution issue.
Because of that, on paper the girl was registered as a medical orderly in her thirties.
Then whose military merits were they?
Mine and the higher-ups’.
Though in truth, the higher-ups were incompetent and only pushed through useless operations.
The reason their plans worked was because of us. And yet they acted as if their strategies were excellent, which was nauseating. All I could do was endure it.
I couldn’t stage a coup, and the higher-ups treated me like a thorn in their side.
Still, perhaps they had some sense of propriety, because they supplied my unit with luxury provisions like meat, cheese, beans, and vegetables.
Compared to the flour lumps and meat we had been given before, it was wonderful.
The girl ate the unfamiliar food with great care. It seemed to taste good.
Thanks to that, the girl was growing taller every day.
"You’ve grown again?"
"Yes. Your face is closer now, Major."
"That’s not what I mean."
I placed a hand on the girl’s head and gauged her height.
The girl, who had once come up between my navel and my solar plexus, had now grown to my solar plexus.
"In the original story, she was 168 centimeters tall, right? At this rate, she’ll easily pass 170."
From the beginning, the girl had a good frame and was active every day.
If you added a balanced intake of carbohydrates, protein, and fat on top of that, there was no way she wouldn’t grow.
And she was in her early teens, the period when girls grew the most.
She was growing by the day like a storm.
When there was no battle, I educated the girl. It was a matter of responsibility.
Since I had taken the girl in, I would do my best to raise her well.
"Can you write?"
"No."
"Then let’s study."
The girl did not know how to read or write.
I had somehow taught her language at the mansion. After all, language grows when you speak it.
But letters were another matter.
It was like how "Korean" and "Hangul" are clearly different things.
There were many foreigners who could speak Korean but were left helpless by Hangul.
-Shit, what the hell is the difference between "eun-neun-i-ga"? — Major?
-Isn’t it just the final consonant?
-Why are you asking me? Then what is "meokda"? You eat rice, you eat your mind, you eat fear, you even eat age. I don’t see the difference.
-...It means to eat, literally.... Uh, I don’t know. Just memorize it.
- — Major, you don’t even know the letters of your own country? No matter how bad the world is, that’s shocking.
-Want to die?
On the vast open plain,
I sat beneath a tree with something to write with.
"Sit next to me."
The girl, who had been standing blankly, sat beside me.
"This is how you write "I.""
"I."
"Good. And this is "person.""
"Person."
"And this is "am.""
"Am."
"Am."
The girl wrote, in awkward script, "I am a person."
I thought, Hmm... this should be about right, shouldn’t it?
I had never really taught anyone to read and write before, so I had little skill in this area.
What was more, the person I had to teach was an emotionless, taciturn girl, so the future looked dark.
Even when I taught her something, all she did was nod with indifferent eyes. I couldn’t tell whether she was actually learning well.
It felt like there was no reward in teaching her anything.
Maybe I was teaching her wrong.
Out of thirty men, not a single one is a father...
None of my subordinates had children.
Even if they were all in their early to mid-twenties, surely one of them should have had one.
In the end, I had to teach her myself.
"Here. I’ve written today’s report."
"Good. Let me see..."
Gilbert taught the girl to write by having her compose reports.
So I had her write a report too.
Of course, I taught her the basic words and particles first.
I slowly read the girl’s report.
-The sky is clear yesterday Pontih battle at Major’s thigh injury very painful bandage Major’s wound bind...
I stopped reading about halfway through.
I should tell her to write reports later.
The paragraph breaks and word combinations were a mess. There were no periods either.
The sky is clear... so that means the weather is clear, I guess?
I lowered the report and looked at the girl.
Her usual impassive face was somehow different. There was about two percent expectation in it.
Is she asking for praise?
Still, it was admirable that she had written this much. I gently stroked her platinum-blond hair.
"Good job."
"Yes."
Color bloomed in the girl’s face. I went on. I should say what needed to be said.
"You did well, but..."
"Yes..."
The corners of the girl’s mouth dropped a little. Her head lowered slightly.
"Hmm... you did well. But if you just fix a little bit, really just a little, it’ll be perfect."
"I see. Understood."
The girl’s head lifted back to its original angle. Color returned to her face.
Seeing how excited she looked, I couldn’t bring myself to say, You did terribly, actually. I’d keep that to myself.
At least, if nothing else, the girl’s talent was remarkable.
Enough to make up for my miserable teaching ability. She was even writing letters on her own now.
Was this what they meant by understanding even when you spoke like garbage?
Every day, the girl’s writing improved.
"Here, this is called a book. It contains all kinds of stories."
I had picked up a few books from a city reduced to ruins by shelling. Speeches, documents, history books.
There are fairy tales too, but... those weren’t really suitable for the girl to read.
They were often called cruel fairy tales.
The original versions of the fairy tales people knew were actually brutal and horrifying.
In Cinderella, the stepsisters cut off parts of their feet to fit into the glass slipper.
In Snow White, the king and Snow White commit incest. A dwarf demands sex from Snow White.
In Sleeping Beauty, the prince violates the princess and she even becomes pregnant and gives birth...
In truth, the original fairy tales people knew were like that.
The reason was to warn the children who read them.
To frighten them with terror and cruelty so they would not do wicked things.
Perhaps because the times were similar?
The fairy tales in this world were all cruel and terrifying too.
Why would you suddenly boil and eat the fox you raised?
I couldn’t show the girl something like that.
Besides, the girl had no common sense.
She can’t even tell right from wrong.
I couldn’t show her the mutilation, incest, and violation of cruel fairy tales.
"Book."
"That’s right. From now on, you’re going to read this. Read it out loud as you go."
"Understood."
The girl sat beside me and read the book, increasing her pace by twenty pages at a time.
She was so endearing that I often reached out to pat her head.
Her brilliant platinum-blond hair was as pleasant to touch as it was to look at. Soft and warm.
It was more addictive than strong wine. I worried I might become addicted to the girl’s hair.
At the naval harbor, where the wind blew gently,
"Major."
While I was lying on the deck, the girl held out a book to me.
"What is ‘loneliness’?"
"Let me see."
I took the book and read the sentence where the girl’s finger was pointing.
-The owner disappeared. The puppy, now without its master, trembled with loneliness.
It was a strangely unsettling sentence.
Replace the "master" there with "Major,"
and the "puppy" with "the girl," and it would be exactly Violet Evergarden.
I brushed it off casually.
"Loneliness is... the feeling of having a hollow space in your chest."
"My chest is not hollow."
The girl touched her own chest.
"That’s a metaphor."
"A metaphor?"
"I’ll explain metaphors later."
"Later?"
"Later means later... no, I’ll explain in a month."
"Understood."
If she kept asking questions one after another like this, I’d never sleep and would have to explain everything all night.
"To put it simply, loneliness is the feeling of wanting someone to be by your side."
"Then I do not feel lonely."
"Hmm... I don’t think so."
"Why not?"
"Because you don’t have anyone you’re close to besides me. You don’t have any peers either."
There was no way there would be a child the girl’s age in the army.
Besides, women were rare in the military.
Come to think of it, has the girl ever seen a woman? Does she even know what a woman is?
If she didn’t, I’d have to stop by a city later and show her.
There were no women in the army. If you wanted to see a woman, you had to visit a civilian settlement.
The girl leaned her face lightly against me and said,
"That is not true. I do not need anyone. Because I have you, Major."
......
Her clear blue eyes gazed steadily at me. The girl’s lips parted slightly.
"You are by my side. There is no way I would feel loneliness."
"I-I see."
I awkwardly nodded and stood up.
*
One year had passed since I first met the girl.
By now, we could talk naturally, and she could write.
I had also taught her morality.
You must not kill people, and you must not use violence.
They were very basic things, but surprisingly difficult.
For example, if I said, "Don’t kill people," the girl would ask, "Why?"
The reason you should not kill people.
I had to teach even the most obvious things.
Fighting battles and teaching a child. There were never enough hours in the day.
It had been a grueling year, but I had reaped a rewarding result.
The girl could write on her own now!
Not just simple sentences. She had reached the point where she could weave stories and write a diary.
In just one year, she had awakened to language and mastered writing.
Of course, there were still shortcomings.
She still did not understand emotions. I referred to parenting books and cared for the girl like a parent would. I held her in my arms and kissed her forehead.
Even so, the girl remained blank.
It seemed she regarded my affection as nothing more than a single "act."
I came to a conclusion.
In the end, she had to experience it for herself.
She needed to meet boys her own age and go through many things to awaken her emotions.
But she could not learn that in the army.
She was crossing the line of death every other day. How could she possibly feel positive emotions there?
I had to take her out of the army.
"Get on."
I had brought out a military horse.
This was still a battlefield where cavalry was in use.
I held the girl by the waist and lifted her onto the horse. She took the reins.
I stepped into the stirrup and mounted in one motion. The girl was in front of me. I took the reins from her.
I flicked the reins and kicked the horse’s belly with my foot.
The horse moved forward.
I had already told my subordinates, so half a day would be fine.
"Major. Where are we going?"
The girl turned her head and looked up at me.
I tried to keep my tone calm as I said,
"Do you remember the village called Tineberg? The village we saved."
"I remember. We defeated the Garadric Empire troops who were plundering the village."
"That’s where we’re going."
"Is it battle?"
"No. There’s no chance of it being plundered now. The front has moved forward."
"Then why are we going there?"
......
"Major."
I opened my mouth.
"I’ll only tell you that it’s for a good reason. Something very good for you."
"Something good for me..."
I patted the girl’s head.
...Maybe this will be the last time I ever pat her like this.
The tide of war had now turned south.
Unless something unbelievable happened, victory would belong to the Southern Allied forces.
The huge victory in the central front a month ago had been decisive. The girl had played a tremendous role there.
Without her, the war would have remained evenly matched.
I would leave the girl in Tineberg.
It was a fairly livable town. It had suffered war damage, but it was still perfectly livable.
After leaving the girl there, I would return to the battlefield.
From today on, my bond with the girl would end.
With a bitter heart, I kept smoothing the girl’s hair. I even lifted her platinum-blond locks and breathed in their scent. A good scent.
An hour later, we arrived in Tineberg.
It was not as developed as Leiden, but it was still a fairly prosperous mid-sized city.
"Good day, Mayor."
"Oh, sir, you’ve come? I was truly grateful for what you did last time! Please, this way."
The mayor treated me with great courtesy.
I had saved his son.
"I appreciate the hospitality, but I have to leave in a hurry. This child is the one I told you about. She doesn’t have a name yet."
I had already informed the mayor.
I gently took the girl by the shoulder and pushed her toward him.
The mayor bent at the waist to meet the girl at eye level.
"My, my... how did you end up becoming a soldier? Yes, I understand. I’ll raise her as lovingly as if she were my own granddaughter."
"Yes. Before that, I’d like to have one last conversation with the girl."
"Of course."
I took the girl to a tall zelkova tree.
The tree stood on a small rise where the whole city could be seen at a glance.
I placed the girl beneath its shade.
I knelt on one knee and met her eyes.
The girl looked up at me with a face that knew nothing.
My heart felt heavy.
"...You are truly an innocent child."
"....?"
"From now on, I’m going to give you an order."
"Yes. Please give the order."
"Live... here."
"Live here?"
The girl tilted her head to the right with a face that knew nothing. I bit my lip.
"Yes, live. You don’t have to kill anymore. You don’t have to hold a weapon anymore. You can enjoy peace here."
From now on, the girl would move away from slaughter and live a peaceful life.
It’s a little late... but at least I’m doing it now.
The girl would probably suffer as she remembered the people she had killed.
But she would surely find her own path.
I believed in the girl.
The girl I knew was steadfast. She would not collapse; she would live on with guilt in her heart.
"There are no enemies left who will try to kill you. So let your guard down and mingle with people."
I stroked her shoulder.
The girl wrinkled the bridge of her nose.
"You can even meet a good person, start a family, and live that way. If you dislike that, then live alone. Do whatever you want. You are free. So... no longer be connected to me or the military."
I lowered the hand that had been stroking her shoulder. I tore off the girl’s dog tag.
Then I took a plain dress from the horse’s saddlebag.
"Ma...jor?"
"All this time... I’m truly sorry."
I pulled the girl into a tight embrace.
Holding the back of her head with my left hand, I wrapped my right arm around her back. The girl’s rough breathing tickled my ear.
"Don’t kill people. But if your own safety is threatened, then use force. If there’s something you don’t know, ask that person. He is the wisest person in this village."
I slowly straightened up.
The girl grabbed my hand in a panic.
"I do not understand what you are saying. I will be with you, Major. If there is something I do not know, I will ask you."
She called out to me in a trembling voice.
She took one step toward me.
I stepped back by the same amount.
"No. That elder is kinder and gentler than I am. He is a fine adult."
"I do not understand the meaning of your words, Major."
"No, you do understand."
I took one last look at the girl.
Sunlit platinum-blond hair.
Sapphire-blue eyes were... far too lovely.
"...I’m leaving. I’m leaving you here. I’ll say it again: you are not a tool. You do not need anyone’s orders. Your life is yours to decide."
I turned away and said,
"...This is my final order. Forget me and the military. And live your life."
Hiiing!
I mounted the horse and shook the reins. The horse broke into a brisk trot.
"Major!"
"Don’t come!"
I shouted sharply.
The girl, who had been coming toward me, shrank back.
"That’s an order! Don’t follow me. Live here!"
I kicked the horse’s belly.
The horse surged forward at full speed.
The wind brushed past my ears.
I deliberately did not look back.
Because then I would see the girl.
What expression would that child be wearing?
Despair? Or would she be expressionless?
Crack.
I clenched my teeth and shook my head.
Forget it. It’s over now. With this...
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