"My proposal is..."
"...?"
"Let's build a new stage together."
Hayasaka tilted her head, as if she couldn't make sense of what I was saying.
"A new stage? What are you talking about?"
"Do you really think this situation is right? The two of them are just spinning their wheels, doing nothing but pointless mind games because they want to be confessed to."
"No, of course not..."
She shook her head hard in denial, and I agreed with her.
I had gone along with Miyuki's logic for a while and helped him out, but no matter how I looked at it, this was going nowhere. The focus was off in some weird direction, so there was no way anything would progress.
"The premise itself is wrong. It shouldn't have been, 'How do we get the other person to confess?' It should have been, 'How do we become a couple?'"
"...I agree. Right now, they're weirdly obsessed with being confessed to."
It seemed Hayasaka had recognized that problem too. After nodding in agreement, she asked me,
"So what's this new stage you're talking about?"
At her question, I rested my head lightly on my interlocked fingers and said,
"We layer our own carefully prepared setup over the two of them's goal of 'getting confessed to.'"
She seemed interested in what I was saying and leaned toward me.
"Interesting. Go on."
"First, we let them keep doing what they've been doing. If talking would have worked, we would've fixed it already."
"...True."
"Their biggest problem is that they have zero interaction outside the student council room. They probably did try. That was the whole point of the mind games. But you know how it turned out, right?"
"Ugh, just thinking about all the groundwork I laid going to waste still makes my blood boil..."
Hayasaka started simmering with frustration, clearly remembering all the failures from the past.
Those conveniently appearing things like tickets that seemed to pop up out of nowhere must have been prepared by her.
Speaking of tickets, I suddenly remembered a bad memory.
"And the fallout landed on me, too. I even ended up watching a romance movie with another guy..."
"Wow, you went to see that...?"
Miyuki said he was treating me to a free movie, so I thought, 'Is this his way of repaying me for helping him?' and happily went to the theater. It turned out to be a romance movie.
When I asked what was going on, he said he had expected Kaguya to show up based on his calculations, but since she didn't come, he didn't want the ticket to go to waste, so he called me instead.
Back then I honestly debated whether I should just quit, or punch this bastard and quit. The movie ended up being unexpectedly good, so I let it slide once.
"The mansion already has more than enough work as it is, and then I have to handle things at school too, and I'm always worrying about Kaguya-sama's safety... Honestly, I want to quit all the time."
"Just watching him is infuriating in a whole different way, isn't it? A guy with a good head on his shoulders acting so petty and calculating is just annoying."
"Tell me about it! He makes a big deal out of every little thing, like, 'Hayasaka! What do I do, what do I do!' or 'Hayasaka! Hurry up and come here!' and then he keeps dragging me into everything...!"
"..."
"..."
As we got more and more worked up while badmouthing our respective hosts(?), a brief silence fell over us.
"...Pfft."
"...Hah."
And then both of us burst out laughing.
Neither of us had imagined that some bizarre late-night incident would lead to a conversation like this.
After the laughter gradually died down, I cleared my throat once and brought the conversation back to where it had been.
"We got off track. Back to the point: what we need to create is a 'natural encounter.'"
"A natural encounter?"
"The opportunities they're trying to create through mind games are, at best, artificial encounters. Since everything depends entirely on the two of them, if one side doesn't give in, the whole thing can collapse too easily. That's how it's been so far."
"...So you're saying we need to create a situation that doesn't put pressure on them?"
"Exactly. If they've been starving for a chance to meet, then once we set the stage, they'll probably handle the rest themselves."
Hayasaka thought for a moment, then nodded.
"That does sound like a good method. If we get them to spend time together naturally a few times and let them get to know each other, there's a high chance they'll end up something like a couple without even realizing it."
"Right. Once they get that close, they won't even feel the need to obsess over a confession. Even if they do it anyway, it'll just be a formality to confirm what they already know."
"You're right. It's definitely an offer with no reason to refuse. How are you planning to do it?"
"We should set up a line of communication and cooperate flexibly depending on the situation. Since this is the first time, I already thought of one method we can use..."
"...?"
"First, we make up a decent story..."
I briefly explained the storyline of the method I'd come up with. Hayasaka went, "Oh..." as she listened.
"...Nice. When are we doing it?"
"How about this weekend?"
"That should probably be fine. Oh, what about the coffee?"
Come to think of it, the main reason she was here at Shinomiya's request was to swap the coffee. I waved my hand dismissively.
"It's fine if you leave it swapped, so just go."
"...That was Kaguya-sama's operation, though. Is it really okay to just leave it alone?"
"It'll fail anyway. That one too."
"..."
Hayasaka stayed silent for a while.
"You really do have a good instinct, don't you..."
"It's nothing. See you later."
With that, Hayasaka carefully left the student council room.
She'd probably slip back out while avoiding the infrared sensors with her goggles, just like she came in.
Wait, but...
How am I supposed to get out...?
*
"...Damn it."
In the end, I couldn't find a way out and had no choice but to hold out in the student council room until dawn.
After barely surviving the night and going to the bathroom, there was a sign on my face that said, 'I am an idiot♡.'
It was obvious only Fujiwara would do something like that, so I gave her a thorough scolding until she reflected on her sins.
After somehow enduring the fatigue and getting through class, I returned to the student council room. At the moment, it's just me and Miyuki.
"Ah, Hotaro. What was that missed call the other day about?"
While we were working in the student council room together, Miyuki suddenly asked about something he'd remembered.
All right, time to start the operation.
"Oh, that. I got into a fight in the downtown area late at night."
"What, really...?"
"I had business in Shibuya, and some delinquent guys had a high school girl surrounded. So I helped her, and then..."
"And then?"
"She bought me coffee as thanks, and while we were talking over a cup, I found out she works as a maid at a mansion."
"...Huh, that's random. A maid job as a part-time gig. Even for me, and I've tried just about every kind of part-time work, that's not exactly common."
"She asked if I wanted to hang out together this weekend. She said her employer is around our age too, so she's bringing her along. You want to come?"
"No thanks. You know who I like..."
The guy drank his coffee with an air of noble composure.
"Their employer is Shinomiya, by the way."
"Pffft!"
He spat it right back out in one second flat. Seriously, disgusting.
Still, I get it. He never would have imagined that, so it was a perfectly reasonable reaction.
"W-what kind of ridiculous situation is that...?"
"I don't know either. They're technically in an employer-employee relationship, but they're close like sisters, and I guess she was grateful I helped her, so she said she'd come. She just asked me to bring one friend along to round things out."
"Grr..."
Miyuki rolled his eyes furiously, calculating. After a long deliberation, the conclusion he reached was...
"Ahem, unfortunate, but I happen to have a part-time job that day..."
"Really? Well, can't be helped. Then I'll just call Gou or Saburo instead..."
"...or so I thought, but my schedule is actually free!"
The instant another man got mentioned, he made a miraculous about-face.
Yeah, I knew you'd do that, you bastard.
"Didn't you just say you couldn't go?"
"Ahem, you misheard me."
"So you'll make the plans?"
"Please do. But, listen..."
"...?"
What is it? Did he somehow figure out we were in on this together?
"Does Shinomiya know we're going too? That might be a little awkward."
"What are you talking about? Of course she doesn't know. She said she wouldn't tell anyone because she wanted it to be a surprise."
"Oh-ho, so I'm the only one who knows..."
Obviously a lie, you idiot.
Realistically, would Kaguya show up if she didn't even know which man was coming?
But even the brilliant Miyuki's judgment gets clouded in front of love.
"Perfect. Then this time for sure...!"
Miyuki's face twisted into a sly smile as he steeled himself again.
Yeah, please, for the love of God, make something happen this time. Stop being such a pain in the ass.
*
In a bedroom at the Shinomiya residence,
Hayasaka approached Kaguya, who was slumped over again today with no progress at all with the president, and casually dropped a baited line.
"Kaguya-sama, yesterday when I went to Shibuya in my 'Sumisu A Hasaka' mode..."
"...Mm."
"I nearly got attacked by delinquents. At first they pretended it was just a normal pickup, but they gradually started showing their true colors."
"What, really...?"
Kaguya jumped to her feet in shock. Even with Hayasaka's excellent martial arts skills, a group of adult men would be a tough opponent.
Panicking, Kaguya hurriedly asked,
"You weren't hurt, were you!? D-don't tell me...?"
Kaguya's mind filled with bad images, her recently acquired sexual knowledge colliding with the bad situation she'd just heard about. Hayasaka immediately waved her hands and denied it.
"...Nothing like what you're imagining happened. There was someone who saved me."
"Someone who saved you...?"
"Yes, Suzuki Hotaro from the student council rescued me."
"...Out of nowhere!?"
Kaguya was shocked by the unexpected name.
"I'm grateful he saved you, but that's really surprising."
The image Kaguya had of him was someone who would dodge troublesome situations with a, 'I need to conserve energy, ahem.'
Besides, he didn't seem like the type to go wandering around a busy district like Shibuya.
"So I decided to treat him to a meal separately. Not only was I grateful, but he's also the president's close friend, so I figured it would be useful to get along with him."
Kaguya, who knew at least a little about the relationship between the president and Hotaro, nodded.
"Right, you said he was like my relationship with Fujiwara. So, did you get anything out of it?"
Hayasaka, who knew Kaguya sometimes looked at Fujiwara like she was a bug, tilted her head.
'...That doesn't really sound like a relationship built on wanting to kill each other all the time.'
But she didn't say that out loud. Instead, she dropped the bomb she'd prepared.
"We made plans to hang out together this weekend. Including President Shirogane."
"W-who? The president!?"
"Yes, exactly as you heard. He said he'd bring his closest friend along."
"But for me to go, I..."
Kaguya's worry was that she lacked a proper excuse. If she went as Hayasaka, it would still be an employer-employee relationship, and showing up at a gathering like that would be awkward.
"You have an excellent excuse: as their employee, you're expressing your gratitude to the person who saved you. If we add the setting that you and I are as close as sisters, that's even better."
"Then of course I should... Ah!"
Just as Kaguya was about to accept happily, a wave of negativity began creeping into her mind.
One by one, the worst possible scenarios that could happen when she met the president started forming in her head.
"N-no. If I go out there, what if..."
-------------------- Kaguya's imagination --------------------
On the day of the promise, they meet in downtown Tokyo.
But when the president sees Kaguya arrive, his expression is far from pleased.
"So it was you, Shinomiya."
"President...?"
"I thought something was strange. So you even used other people to set up a chance to hang out with me?"
"N-no, this is just a coincidence...!"
"As if."
Shirogane's mouth curls up as he looks down at her with half-lidded eyes.
"You cute little..."
*
"It's obviously going to turn out like that!"
'Haa, what a pain...'
Hayasaka sighed once and unleashed an unblockable technique.
"Then maybe you should go with Fujiwara instead..."
"Absolutely not-!"
The moment Fujiwara's name came up, Kaguya cut her off and shouted.
Hayasaka thought, There it is.
"...What am I supposed to do with you?"
"Anyway, no, no way! This won't do. I'm going! I'm going!"
Kaguya had entered full tantrum mode, stomping her feet. At this point, persuading her was nearly impossible.
But this was exactly the state Hayasaka had been hoping for, and the corners of her mouth rose into a grin.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes! I'm serious!"
"...Then I'll make the arrangements. For now, the others don't know you're coming, so think about how you'll handle it."
"...Okay."
Hayasaka finished the conversation, closed the door, and left.
Kaguya's face turned as red as a beet as she hugged her pillow again and stomped her feet.
She spent the night unable to sleep, imagining what she would do with the president and how far things might go on the day of the promise.
*
A stylish cafe in Shibuya Ward.
Hayasaka and I were here for a preliminary scouting trip.
We each brought our own date route ideas, and we planned to combine them into one workable plan.
"Did you come prepared?"
"Of course. My simulation is perfect."
Hayasaka pulled out a notebook with a confident look on her face.
Judging by how worn it was, she'd probably been using it for a long time.
When we compared our routes, the difference in our opinions was greater than I could have imagined.
"What is this bleak route? The next stop after this is obviously supposed to be here!"
Hayasaka pointed at my plan and started arguing. Sorry, but I had plenty to say too.
"Did flowers bloom in your head or something...? Did you even check the distance and the timing? I can't breathe just looking at this. This isn't a date route; it's more like a travel agency package tour."
"There's no romance, no romance at all! Do you even realize you're going out with a girl?"
"And you do realize that, yet you didn't even consider the last train? What, are you planning to make them sleep at a hotel or something?"
"Kaguya-sama can just take a taxi home!"
"You think that miser Miyuki would actually take a taxi at surge pricing after midnight...?"
The perfect harmony of a pragmatist and a romantic.
What should have been a civilized discussion gradually rose in volume and tone.
As we both insisted we were right, the argument had somehow progressed into a qualification check.
"Just in case, have you ever even dated anyone?"
In the middle of it, Hayasaka threw me a sharp question.
She really knows where to stab.
"...I hate troublesome relationships like that. But if I wanted to, I could anytime."
"Hmph. I figured you probably hadn't."
What was that irritating comment supposed to mean?
"...Sorry, but I'm obviously saying that because I have experience, okay?"
I asked just to make sure, and suddenly Hayasaka looked away.
"...Excuse me?"
"..."
"Why are you suddenly going quiet...?"
"I-I was busy working for Kaguya-sama, so I didn't have time..."
I shook my head.
"...What an ugly excuse. Well done."
"What are you saying! It's not that I couldn't date anyone, I just didn't!"
"I see, so you didn't date because you didn't want to... Ah, so that's why you have that notebook...?"
"...?"
When I snickered at her notebook, she looked down at it as if to say, 'What's wrong with my notebook?'
Nearly a hundred pages were packed full of detailed, romantic date routes.
Glancing at the table of contents, I saw routes all over Tokyo, plus all the famous spots in the area, with nothing left out.
Judging by the volume, she must have been writing this steadily for years. Fantasizing about dream dates with some future boyfriend...
Realizing I'd pointed that out, Hayasaka's face turned bright red.
"...Aaaah! Forget you saw that!"
She panicked and threw the notebook at me.
She's surprisingly fun to tease.
After that, we somehow kept discussing it, but because we kept clashing over every little thing, the conversation dragged on far longer than expected. Even after going to inspect the places we'd finally chosen, we kept bickering.
Is this really going to end today...?
And so, the "Shuchiin Love Operation Squad" began its awkward, sputtering campaign to connect two cowards who only wanted to be confessed to.
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